bring on the rapture

male | 25 | alumni the crazy thing about moving on is you never really do. you're just stuck existing with what happened floating in your head like a trapped fly.

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fabienne-locsin:

“Not necessarily loud, but I don’t know why you would be sleeping right there.” 

>> ❝ It looked comfortable at the time? ❞

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noelle-alderdice:

“ Pardon my asking, but what exactly happened? I mean, it’s a bit strange you were out here all by yourself. “

>> ❝ No need to pardon yourself. I was on patrol, lost track of time, and I suppose I went from sitting to laying and I slept. ❞

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amelia-prescott:

“I mean at least it’s profound and not a jumbled mess. I can’t even explain my thoughts coherently when I think about it. I end up pausing a lot and I swear I sound like a madman.”

>> ❝ If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure I’ve used something someone else has said at some point. You’ll figure out what words you want to use at some point. And you don’t really sound like a madman. ❞

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noelle-alderdice:

“ I just wanted to see if you were alright, you’re kind of sleeping in the middle of nowhere. “

“ Need any help? “

>> ❝ I’m not sure I even remember falling asleep. No, I’m alright. Just a little sore. I’m sure it’ll get worse, but that’s my fault. ❞

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amelia-prescott:

“That’s–I’ve never thought about it that way before, actually. But you’re right, I mean, gosh, I’m not really sure how to explain it now.”

>> ❝ Well, I’ve been thinking too much about it, if we’re being honest. And I’m not a philosopher. I’m just lucky something profound comes out. ❞

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>> ❝ Yeah? Oh, yes, I’m awake. Was I loud? ❞

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liam-nickleby:

“Damn, I go into hiding and it’s like they took my magic away from me.”

>> ❝ It’ll come back to you. Everyone’s lost in some way right now. ❞

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rowvnbillasco:

She nodded, agreeing to every word he recited. “Quite true. A lot of them are surprisingly doing better than I initially thought, but that could also be a facade. Everyone’s a bit shocked that I came back seeing as a lot of our friends did – pass during the events of the war.” They did lose many friends that day, but her mind always went back to Fred. It was still hard to imagine that he was gone. Something she’d never get used to. “If you ever need to talk to someone, I’m here.” She smiled toward his direction, it was sincere this time, not forced.

An uncomfortable surge of emotional washed over her as she caught him almost utter George’s name. “I wonder how Ginny’s doing. She was really close to him too.” She sighed, it was nearly impossible for her to say his name out loud in fear she might break down in front of the older boy. It was hard to imagine what the Weasley family was going through. She hadn’t seen them since the funeral. They’ve invited her to stay for the summer, but it was much too painful for her to be surrounded by all the things that reminded her of him.

It was true. It was a surprise she returned. It was a surprise any of them returned. Some had lost friends, others ended up with injuries, others had both. “I think we’re all surprised any of us are back,” he thought out loud, but did his best not to turn his fake smile into a frown. He was trying not to be such a downer, but it wasn’t working. He supposed as long as he wasn’t taking about himself, he wasn’t really thinking about his problems. It was amazing how out of his way he was going. He looked at her when she offered herself up as someone to talk to and it wasn’t anything against her, but he was sure he wasn’t going to talk to anyone anytime soon. It was for lack of try, he’d admit that. Still, he smiled a small, but open and real smile and nodded. “Thank you. And the same for you with me.”

He shrugged a bit when she wondered out loud about Ginny. “Charlie never really says much,” he said, but it was really because he didn’t ask. Charlie’d lost his brother too and was working as a shoulder to lean on. That seemed to be the role him, Bill, and Ron took on, but he was sure Ginny was trying to help too. He remembered the funeral. It was a weird feeling of being out of place while also being a part of the family. It was hard, but not quite as hard as Owen’s had been for him. He’d know George, he’d known the rest of the Weasleys, but not quite as well as he knew Charlie and not nearly as well as he’d known Owen.

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drucillacresswell:

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. None of my adventures are ever idiotic. If you were worried about me, all you needed to do was to say the words. Don’t worry, I won’t judge.”

>> ❝ Okay, yeah, I’ll try to remember that. Worried about you? No, I was worried about missing out on something. ❞

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annaliseollivander:

Let’s talk about something else. Please.

>> ❝ Fair enough. We should get out of here. Just for a little while. Get something from the kitchens? ❞

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amelia-prescott:

“I think I could–at least I hope I can. If I may ask–what’s motivating you to keep you holding on to that?”

>> ❝ It’s just that... if people can’t move past things and not judge someone, then where’s the hope that we, meaning everyone involved, can move past what we feel about ourselves? ❞

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malakidusautoir:

Being back here wasn’t supposed to be the plan. Actually, if Kai had it his way, he’d be dead at his own hands, or be locked inside his flat because he didn’t want to deal with everything that was brewing in his head. However, the Ministry had other plans for him. Given his situation, the auror office figured he’d do well helping others deal with their problems, in hopes he’d be able to deal with his own too. But he didn’t think that would really work out, in all honesty. 

It was going to be hard, and why in all hell would he ever open up to a bunch of people who probably went through something just as bad? Not to mention, most of them were kids, and he didn’t want them to get involved with his mess of life. 

Thankfully, however, there were people here that were going to make this slightly easier. People he knew, and was friends with. - Walking around the castle, Kai’s light hue’s landed on a familiar face, and he quickly walked up to them. “Rex.” He called out, but go nothing in response. Thus, Kai stood there for a good moment, before the man finally acknowledged him. “It’s okay… You alright there though? Or did you just zone out for a moment.”

He’d found the quidditch cabinet. It had been a good point in his life once long ago and it still could be if he was a student, maybe watching some game would be nice. Hopefully it wouldn’t just bring back memories from chasers that were just perfectly in sync and could pull off weird routines while making score after score. But then again no one would ever be that good again.

At least it was Kai that found him, not a student or someone he didn’t really know. He half-smiled a bit before he looked forward again. “I just zoned out,” he said simply. It wasn’t completely a lie, but wasn’t completely a truth. He was leaving a few things out. “This is the third patrol I’ve worked in a row.” He didn’t add that he volunteered because he wasn’t sleeping, but that was really irrelevant. No one was sleeping.

“It’s strange how good of a condition all this quidditch stuff is in.” Strained small talk was his specialty. Because he wasn’t about to ask how Kai was and either get a lie or cause him pain from thinking about it.

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drucillacresswell:

“…And you’re not supposed to be anywhere near the Forbidden Forest, or outside at this time of the night. Do you care to explain why you’re here?”

>> ❝ You’re outside, near the forbidden forest, and alone at this time of the night. I wanted to make sure you weren’t going on some idiotic adventure without me. ❞

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amelia-prescott:

“You’re not the only one. I’ve passed judgment today more times than I can count and I regret it. Looks like starting fresh is out of the question.”

>> ❝ You may not be able to start fresh, but I hope you could make up for it? I’ve been holding onto that. ❞

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rowvnbillasco:

Her back was learned against the wall, arms crossed as she shook her head. “Oh, no don’t worry about it. Just writing to my parents. I can do that any time – really, but y’know might as well while I’m on patrol.” The atmosphere was filled with sorrow. Everyone was going through some sort of loss, yet no one really wanted to talk about it. Those who did, never stopped crying. The ones in the hospital wing, merely laid on the beds, impossible for them to utter a single word being reminded of the dark events of the last school year.

She lightly laughed. “No, it’s not stupid.” She shrugged. “I’m alright, I guess. It’s going to take time, but the students come first, that’s why we’re here. How are you?” She used it as an excuse to not think about losing Fred, but she really wanted to ask how the Weasleys were coping with everything assuming he kept in contact with the family. She paused for a moment, hesitating at first – it didn’t hurt to ask. “How is – how is Charlie?” She couldn’t bring herself to ask how George was doing.

It was strange how a concept as simple as writing home had changed. At least for him. He hadn’t written or called his parents in too long, but he wasn’t sure if they’d answer if he did. “It’s true. It’s gotten quiet enough to do that.” Everyone was finally able to fall asleep. He wished he could do the same, but it just wasn’t happening. He hadn’t been afraid to go to bed since he was a little kid. At least then, it was easier to face an imaginary monster under the bed.

“Sometimes it’s easier to help them, at least I thought it would be. It’s been a bit of a shock coming back.” That was how he’d ended up there, staring at a wall anyway. “Me? I’m fine. Tired, but I’m happy to have something to do.” That was taking it all lightly, but that’s what everyone everyone was doing because they didn’t want to face what they were really feeling. He was surprised by the question about Charlie, but it made sense when he thought about it. “He’s... as good as someone could expect. He’s really more worried about G... Molly. She’s trying to look like she’s coping as well as the rest of them though.”

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annaliseollivander:

If you tried to talk to me about how everything is going to be okay and somehow we’ll be able to leave this all behind, I wouldn’t believe you. There is no point in not admitting the truth.

>> ❝ There’s hope we’ll be okay, in some sense. But we’ll never leave it behind. We’ll just survive. We’ve made it this far. ❞

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ellethorne:

⟶ It bothered her. She hated that she could walk down all the same halls, see all the same things, know every turn, every step, every portrait - and yet it had never felt so wrong. This was the castle that Elle had once called home, but now it felt like a graveyard, and the images of children dead littering the hallways plagued her mind. Hogwarts would never be the place it once was. At least not to her. Not to those who suffered the pain of loss that was irreparable.

And yet riddled with the nightmares were memories. Fond ones. The food fight of third year that got a student-body-wide detention, getting up before the sun to practice Quidditch with Owen and Rex, finding some kind of peace with herself and her magic. But now those all felt like ghosts - and for just a moment, when she saw Rex standing at a portrait not far from the Gryffindor common room, she thought he was one.

Elle didn’t say anything at first. She didn’t want to spoil the moment, or interrupt his thoughts - and she hoped they were positive. She hoped he was coping better than she was.

She watched him give a small smile, and she felt vaguely reassured. ❝Owen hated that portrait,❞ she commented, locking eyes with the sunset-painted background and empty foreground. 

The occupant - a pudgy, angry old woman - must have been elsewhere in the castle. ❝But to be fair, she hated him first.❞

Rex remembered the time Owen and the portrait got into a shouting match, but it didn’t have him laughing like it once did. It was missing the woman to start, but the key feature it was missing was the snarky comments coming from a familiar face and the situation would never have them again. Maybe one day he could feel a sort of fondness with looking back, but that wasn’t happening now. He knew Owen would’ve been telling him to suck it up, but that wasn’t going to happen with just assuming that was what he would say.

Maybe he should’ve expected to end up running into Elle here, but he was taken a bit by surprise. He couldn’t be more relieved to hear her talk about the happy memory, even if his thoughts over it were far from happy at the moment.

“We always seemed to find a way to walk past it too,” he said with a nose laugh before he focused for a moment on the sun. “It’s the quickest way to the Great Hall from the common room.” Or at least was. The corridor connecting the two needed a lot of work. He wished he didn’t know what happened there.

He looked back at Elle before managing a smirk. “I’m grateful we never knew her in person.” She could’ve chased them down then. He could just imagine Owen saying something particularly spiteful and then the trio having to run to breakfast to ensure they actually made it.