r.h. Sin

fanpage.

[rh-sin]

22 minutes in a neon room.

i was searching for you

while you chased

after someone who wasn’t me

i was in love

with the idea of knowing you

before I knew you

living in the hell

that i labeled love

while dying to meet

the one in my dreams

not realizing

at the time

that in order to begin

with you

i had to first end it

with any and everyone

incapable of loving me correctly

and you

would only find me

once you decided

to go after more

than you settled for

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

you wear the sadness.

the joy is replaced with sadness

your expectation becomes disappointment

the truth was just an attractive lie

a bunch of letting, forming words

that came together to create sentences

of manipulation

the heart becomes cold

as if to lose its summer

the soul becomes tired

you and your restless spirit

what’s behind those dead eyes

you wear that blank expression

like new skin

you wear sadness like the latest fashion

you wear pain like garments

you’ve been draped in anguish

don’t you miss who you were

before who you became

took over your life

do you miss yourself

like i miss you

do you even remember

what it felt like to be happy

have you forgotten yourself

beneath your troubles

and all of this for a love

that turned out to be hatred

all of this for a heart

that never deserved yours

all this hurt

for a relationship

that would never work

all of yourself

all of everything

invested into something

that now feels like nothing

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

you need to feel.

Your joy is constantly fading because you’ve built your happiness on temporary things. Your peace has now become reliant upon a weak foundation. Sadly, you’d rather pretend to be happy, smiling in photos, crying when the lights of social media are off. Giving the world a fictional version of who you are, hiding your truth to appease others, your sadness is not a burden. Your sadness is significant. Your sadness is important. This thing that you feel will strengthen your soul if you let it. So feel whatever it is that you need to feel. No matter what it is, you don’t have to be silent.

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

on my second glass of whiskey.

You don’t even know how much love you’ve stolen from yourself while trying to maintain unhealthy relationships with people who have proven time and time again that they’ll never be able to love you the way you deserve. You don’t even know how much time you’ve robbed yourself of. All those late nights and early mornings, spent chasing the thought of a person who rarely even thought about you.

You don’t know, and I wish you did. I wish the love you wasted on others would somehow have found its way back to you, but you insisted on finding someone new after every person you lose, not realizing they were never actually losses because you never had them in the first place. I wish you knew that they were never losses because they were never valuable enough to be that, but you were always everything, and you were always giving your everything to a person who insisted on doing nothing, giving nothing. Using you up until they deemed you to be empty every time they were finished. You don’t even know, but I wish you did, or maybe you’ll finally get it after reading these words.

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

one hell of a midnight.

i hear the angels

their voices like the rain

touching, tapping my window

begging for my attention

as i lie here, weighed down by sadness

unable to move beneath the madness

the misery is so heavy

the misery is so thick

i hear the angels

but i can’t see them

i hear the angels

but i can’t move

this must be hell

this must be the place

my mother warned me about

this must be the place

i swore i’d never visit

but i’m here

and for some reason

it feels like home

i hear the angels

but they won’t reach me

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

the second shot.

i think you should leave him

i think you know this already

but you’re afraid to start over

you’re afraid of being alone

but don’t you feel alone

whenever you’re near that person

don’t you feel like

there’s something more

out there for you

i think you deserve more

but you already knew that

and i think you’re strong enough

to walk away

from anyone undeserving of your energy

i believe that you are mighty enough

to separate yourself from the people

who are less than you deserve

because you are, in fact,

powerful enough to free yourself

from those who want to keep you in bondage

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

the first shot.

She’s tired of giving the wrong people the right pieces of herself. She looks at the one she loves and silently screams within her own mind. She feels stupid at times, but in all honesty, the only one stupid with in this situation is the one too stupid to comprehend her love. Some men are not really men or, simply, they’re not man enough to treat a woman the way she deserves. It’s not your fault that you fell for someone who could say the right things yet fail to act on what they expressed. You’re not weak. Why? Well because you’re strong enough to love even when the love isn’t returned. Your love is unconditional and beautiful. Your love maintains its beauty even when you’re stuck in an ugly, unhealthy relationship, and you still maintain your value even with someone who fails to value you.

Your smile is a symbol of your strength. Broken is what you felt but that isn’t who you are. I want you to know that your love is a flower waiting to blossom, only to be shared with someone devoted enough to pick you up from a garden where only the truth can grow. Every failed relationship was just an opportunity for you to learn what to avoid as you begin to preserve yourself for the one who deserves a space in your life.

She is good enough, she is beautiful, she is almighty and majestic. She is strong and intelligent. She is a Queen deserving of more than what she has had. She is you, and when you discover the type of love that mirrors your own, hold on to it.

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

the sleeping city

they say New York city never sleeps

but I’ve seen it close its eyes

like a child too tired to fight slumber

i’ve seen the city empty itself

like a soul craving nothingness

and a heart growing numb

it’s almost 2 a.m. and the streets

feel like a ghost town

there are moments after midnight

where i often hear no sound

the sirens arent screaming

on this particular night

just the hum of the wind

and a chill in the air

in just a few hours

the whispers will begin again

the cabs will stampede

down a one-way path

stopping for those who are prepared

to be transported

into the chaos of the city

but until then

the city that never sleeps

is barely awake

and i’ve stayed up for witness it

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

the third shot.

What if I told you that you were wasting your time, sitting there waiting for a call that’ll never come from someone who never even deserved to reach you? What if I told you that the love you’ve been craving does not live in the heart of the person you’ve been losing sleep over? All those restless nights, and for what? You could be asleep dreaming dreams that make you smile; instead you sit there all alone in a dark room gently lit by the moon, feelings of being stuck in a nightmare that seems to be playing on loop. It feels like the walls are closing in on you, the ceiling is collapsing. Time is passing, the night sinks into itself, and you become a little less sure of everything you were already questioning.

What if the love of your life is alone, just like you, feeling some of the same feelings? With questions as big as yours and doubts as deep as the doubt that now consumes you? What if holding on to someone who no longer deserves your attention is distracting you from being with the one person who would never hurt you in the ways you’ve grown accustom to? You could really be in love instead of pretending to be in love with someone who does nothing to earn the love you been wasting on the person who isn’t the one you should be with.

r.h. sin, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

I want to change

the way you feel

about pain.

I want to show you

how not all hurting

is bad.

How sometimes

broken things

are beautiful things

and how sometimes

you need a little ache

to help you appreciate…

the gentle poetry

you create

with your beating heart.

r.h. sin & Robert M. Drake, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

After all,

the world is made up

of different kinds of people,

so sooner or later

you’re going to run into someone

just like you

and you’re going to analyze them

and say,

“Damn, I am complicated

but I am also beautiful.”

And that will be enough

to inspire you

and give you the perfect amount

of courage

to continue being

who you are.

r.h. sin & Robert M. Drake, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

I yearn for broken things.

For the things

that make drunk lovers

fall into each other

in the middle of the night

and the things

that keep them up

while the rest the world

is asleep.

I love you,

I need you to break me,

and I don’t want you

to apologize

for it

at all.

r.h. sin & Robert M. Drake, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

Let us thank

the lovers for being

lovers

and the haters

for giving us the courage,

the motivation,

and the fire

to keep on.

r.h. sin & Robert M. Drake, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

The thing about you is,

you carry this kindred sadness

that draws me in

and it’s a lot like mine.

It peaks from the edge

of my eyes

when it wants to

and only a handful people

take notice.

It is the same way

I’m noticing yours

and that’s a beautiful thing.

It’s a miracle when similar people

find one another

and that’s why

I’ve got to know you,

that’s why

I got to break you down,

to see if you love

the same way

as I do…

to see

if I’m really

not meant

to be alone.

r.h. sin & Robert M. Drake, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

I often think

of whom it is

you are thinking of

right before

you go to sleep

and sometimes

I wonder

if it is me.

I wonder,

and I cannot say

this better myself

but I miss you,

and I hope you find

my precious company

when you feel

most alone.

r.h. sin & Robert M. Drake, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

You have so much

inside of you.

Like a thousand oceans

and a thousand moons

and here you are…

hurting over something

you will soon grow out of…

something

you’ll soon forget.

So why carry this pain?

When all the love

in the universe dwells

within you.

Find it.

The happiness you’re seeking

begins

and will always begins...

with you.

r.h. sin & Robert M. Drake, Empty Bottles Full of Stories

[rh-sin]

Distance is more

than two objects apart.

It is the struggle

we all go through

when the heart

and the mind

can’t seem

to get along.

r.h. sin & Robert M. Drake, Empty Bottles Full of Stories