god gives his toughest battles (eating food when it's over 30c) to his strongest soldiers (me, a known heat intolerance risk)
Today's Document
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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noise dept.
RMH
🪼

oozey mess
Xuebing Du
Misplaced Lens Cap

izzy's playlists!
sheepfilms
cherry valley forever
Three Goblin Art
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Stranger Things

pixel skylines

JVL

#extradirty
Claire Keane
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@ricekrispyjoints
god gives his toughest battles (eating food when it's over 30c) to his strongest soldiers (me, a known heat intolerance risk)
westley in the princess bride was so funny for being like ‘talk about this dead guy you loved lol’ and getting the tea about himself
oh he was ur true love? you thought he was hot n strong? rate him 1-10 and why
if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal
happy pride
happy pride month to HIM
a gathering, a murder
i think i'd be checking my phone in the cuck chair to be honest
RIP to the absolutely incredible, gorgeously kind and enthralling Anthony Head. I hope wherever he is, he's playing his pink Nintendo DS.
i am an unreliable narrator both because i do not remember and also i love to lie
The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.
The what???
The Ikea biphobia couch.
???
I don't know what to tell you man.
okay but anecdotes about other people accidentally having other people's service dogs task for them because dog just went "oh you are doing thing i am meant to fix" has me laughing imagining shane just having a high anxiety day for some reason and someone's anxiety service dog (maybe still in training, so a lil confused still) continuing to try and approach and task, but shane is just CONVINCED that it's ilya somehow trying to get this dog to keep coming over, and he's already on edge anyway, so people noticing that this dog keeps trying to come closer just keeps winding him up more, which just makes the dog try to come back over, which just makes him tell ilya to knock it off again, which makes ilya say he's not doing anything, which makes-
and finally whoever the handler is just "sorry, she's still in training." and ilya is just "ah, a professional in training. what a smart girl." "yeah, she's training to be an anxiety service dog. :)"
and ilya just looks RIGHT at shane, who is suddenly
oh my GOD, they had been fighting about getting another dog because ilya wanted anya to have a sibling and shane wanted to call it at one dog because what if the next one ISN'T good and now they're going to have two dogs AND one is a problem-
so they're already miffed at each other, and shane is convinced ilya keeps somehow signaling this dog to come over because he's being an asshole about their fight about dogs, the exchange about her being an anxiety service dog happens, shane avoids eye contact COMPLETELY and manages to fully escape standing next to ilya
but then ends up retreating to an empty conference room that the dog and handler also happen to go to as a break place for the dog, and the handler is like no worries if not it's okay but do you mind letting her practice tasking? it's really okay if not but she seems really eager-
and what is shane going to do? say no i won't help out with training this dog? no.
but now he's laying down under the very reassuring pressure of this dog, totally physically relaxed, but just sighs and goes "...goddamnit" because he knows ilya is going to find out about this SOMEHOW and then they're going to end up with a second fucking dog
in their household, she is dogtor rosie because she has a degree even if she doesn't use it (ilya made it, it hangs on the fridge), and when shane tries to appeal to ilya to help him call rosie off when she's tasking, ilya shakes his head and refuses
it's dogtor's orders
dogtor rosie is SO good at this! she's a little angel (and sometimes menace), and i adore her.
i can also maybe picture anya picking up the basics of some of these moves/behaviors after the two dogs have spent some time together and she's seen rosie receive positive attention/praise for doing so. (ilya is for sure providing that, even if shane himself is more unsure at first)
all of a sudden, anya is also now fetching things With Purpose when she senses that someone is upset/anxious. she doesn't have rosie's discernment or training, so she's not grabbing water bottles or prescriptions (even if they are for the wrong person), but she is bringing whatever random item feels right in the moment. she has the spirit!!!
it's very hard for shane to stay in his anxiety spiral for long with two concerned dogs insistently handing him ilya's medication and.... the tv remote? and well, if rosie is going to press herself across shane's lap, anya is going to do it too!!! she won't be left out of the cuddle pile when a packmate is in distress! and if rosie is going to be licking and nudging shane's hands every time he goes to pull at his hair, redirecting him, anya is doing the same—she's not going to miss out on any opportunity to be pet, either!
ANYA DOING HER RESIDENCY UNDER SUPERVISING PAWSICIAN DOGTOR ROSIE
also the idea of anya frantically looking around for an item to give shane when rosie goes to grab the empty pill bottle from the counter because she WILL go looking for it if they don't leave it there for her is SO cute and funny to me. incomplete list of items anya has prescribed shane to make him feel better:
his sunglasses
ilya's keys
yuna's purse
a pair of tongs for the grill
her leash AND rosie's leash
a pillow from their bedroom
her stuffed hockey stick toy
the empty pill bottle when she got there first, prompting an annoyed rosie to try and take it from her because that's HER item!! give it!! meaning it actually did work because shane is now having to ref a sibling squabble over helping him with an empty bottle of medication that wasn't even his to start with
and @hardlyhinged adding your tags here because Best Wiggly Girl hopping the boards and getting carried off with a puck in her mouth is SO delightful to me
she is their biological daughter <3
Hollanov + tweets (part 2)
I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually
things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:
the city of los angeles
the city of new york
sex
how drinking alcohol works
how getting high works
how a child of any age speaks
how nuclear physics work
how [my job] works
how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is
how hypothermia works
things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:
what french toast is
read through the notes on this one trust me
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
in many ways being alive is about getting to have a little coffee every morning