if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal
okay but anecdotes about other people accidentally having other people's service dogs task for them because dog just went "oh you are doing thing i am meant to fix" has me laughing imagining shane just having a high anxiety day for some reason and someone's anxiety service dog (maybe still in training, so a lil confused still) continuing to try and approach and task, but shane is just CONVINCED that it's ilya somehow trying to get this dog to keep coming over, and he's already on edge anyway, so people noticing that this dog keeps trying to come closer just keeps winding him up more, which just makes the dog try to come back over, which just makes him tell ilya to knock it off again, which makes ilya say he's not doing anything, which makes-
and finally whoever the handler is just "sorry, she's still in training." and ilya is just "ah, a professional in training. what a smart girl." "yeah, she's training to be an anxiety service dog. :)"
and ilya just looks RIGHT at shane, who is suddenly
oh my GOD, they had been fighting about getting another dog because ilya wanted anya to have a sibling and shane wanted to call it at one dog because what if the next one ISN'T good and now they're going to have two dogs AND one is a problem-
so they're already miffed at each other, and shane is convinced ilya keeps somehow signaling this dog to come over because he's being an asshole about their fight about dogs, the exchange about her being an anxiety service dog happens, shane avoids eye contact COMPLETELY and manages to fully escape standing next to ilya
but then ends up retreating to an empty conference room that the dog and handler also happen to go to as a break place for the dog, and the handler is like no worries if not it's okay but do you mind letting her practice tasking? it's really okay if not but she seems really eager-
and what is shane going to do? say no i won't help out with training this dog? no.
but now he's laying down under the very reassuring pressure of this dog, totally physically relaxed, but just sighs and goes "...goddamnit" because he knows ilya is going to find out about this SOMEHOW and then they're going to end up with a second fucking dog
in their household, she is dogtor rosie because she has a degree even if she doesn't use it (ilya made it, it hangs on the fridge), and when shane tries to appeal to ilya to help him call rosie off when she's tasking, ilya shakes his head and refuses
dogtor rosie is SO good at this! she's a little angel (and sometimes menace), and i adore her.
i can also maybe picture anya picking up the basics of some of these moves/behaviors after the two dogs have spent some time together and she's seen rosie receive positive attention/praise for doing so. (ilya is for sure providing that, even if shane himself is more unsure at first)
all of a sudden, anya is also now fetching things With Purpose when she senses that someone is upset/anxious. she doesn't have rosie's discernment or training, so she's not grabbing water bottles or prescriptions (even if they are for the wrong person), but she is bringing whatever random item feels right in the moment. she has the spirit!!!
it's very hard for shane to stay in his anxiety spiral for long with two concerned dogs insistently handing him ilya's medication and.... the tv remote? and well, if rosie is going to press herself across shane's lap, anya is going to do it too!!! she won't be left out of the cuddle pile when a packmate is in distress! and if rosie is going to be licking and nudging shane's hands every time he goes to pull at his hair, redirecting him, anya is doing the same—she's not going to miss out on any opportunity to be pet, either!
ANYA DOING HER RESIDENCY UNDER SUPERVISING PAWSICIAN DOGTOR ROSIE
also the idea of anya frantically looking around for an item to give shane when rosie goes to grab the empty pill bottle from the counter because she WILL go looking for it if they don't leave it there for her is SO cute and funny to me. incomplete list of items anya has prescribed shane to make him feel better:
his sunglasses
ilya's keys
yuna's purse
a pair of tongs for the grill
her leash AND rosie's leash
a pillow from their bedroom
her stuffed hockey stick toy
the empty pill bottle when she got there first, prompting an annoyed rosie to try and take it from her because that's HER item!! give it!! meaning it actually did work because shane is now having to ref a sibling squabble over helping him with an empty bottle of medication that wasn't even his to start with
and @hardlyhinged adding your tags here because Best Wiggly Girl hopping the boards and getting carried off with a puck in her mouth is SO delightful to me
I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
gummygunk
izzy806
pixelskylines
jacobvanloon
areudirty
