In an attempt to stop feeling guilty about emotionally cheating on Brynn, Erica had stopped hanging out with Roxy and Dakota so much. It had been nice in some ways, as she’d ended up spending more time with Jessie and Maia again (and Al, since Jessie and he had finally got their act together and started dating), but she missed Roxy and Dakota like crazy. Brynn had started acting nicer to her, though, and she’d felt like he actually liked her again. Any time Erica didn’t spend with her two best friends, she spent with Brynn, even if she often felt like she was irritating him by just being there. She had been making an effort to fit herself into his timetable, rather than daring to suggest that he change something in his schedule to hang out with her. However, she’d noticed that she was still pretty miserable, even though she’d been following all his advice about when she should be studying and what she should be eating. Brynn still seemed to find some way to criticise her, so Erica knew she must still be doing something wrong. As Erica ate breakfast (she managed a banana before she felt too self-hating to eat anything more), she glanced up and saw Roxy looking at her with some concern. Erica managed a tight smile before getting up, feeling that Roxy seemed like she was about to come and talk to her. Wanting to avoid that, she left the Great Hall speedily, clocking Brynn heading in her direction. She forced a smile onto her face, feeling the pangs of sadness about having to run away from Roxy. “Hey, babe,” she greeted him, pecking him on the cheek.
Ever since bowling, Erica had been spending more and more time with those idiots. To the point where his friends had noticed: Cody’d looked over at him when he’d joined them for studying, smirked and said, “Uh oh, trouble in paradise?” He’d clenched his jaw so hard he thought he’d cracked a tooth, and made an effort to ask Erica to hang out more. She seemed to have taken the hint, because she’d stopped hanging out with them so much, and started spending time with her usual friends again. That was fine with him; they needed time apart, and her other friends were ok.
Brynn skipped breakfast in favour of smoking his way through three cigarettes. They didn’t have the calming influence they once did, but it was a habit, to turn to them when he was irritated. He blew out a long breath, and headed to the Great Hall, looking for Erica. That, too, was a habit, something that used to help when he was annoyed. “Oh, hey,” he greeted her, allowing the cheek peck, and wrapping an arm around her, leading her away from the Hall. They had some time before first lesson, they could hang out.
Erica allowed herself to be pulled away and tried to focus on Brynn instead of thinking about Roxy and Dakota and how much she missed them. Brynn, she told herself. Her boyfriend. She could smell the smoke on him but didn’t comment on it. True, she hated kissing him when he’d been smoking, but she’d never ask him to change something just so she was more comfortable. She wondered if he’d had breakfast, given that she hadn’t seen him in the Great Hall… “How are you? Sleep ok?” Erica glanced at the clock as they went under it, to note how much time she had before she had to go to Muggle Studies. Good, she had some time to catch up with Brynn.
This was one of the reasons Brynn needed time apart from Erica. She was always asking questions, wondering how he was and how he’d slept and how much he’d ate, something his friends never did. “I’m fine, and I slept ok, mum,” he said, his tone missing teasing and hitting mocking. “You ok?” he asked, only half paying attention, too busy wondering which of their dorms was nearer. There was something that would definitely help his mood. His was only slightly further away, and they wouldn’t run into her dormmates, he decided and quickened their pace a little, giving her a squeeze.
Erica winced a little in response to Brynn’s brusque tone. It didn’t sound like he was fine, but she wasn’t sure if she should press or not. “Sorry, babe,” she said quietly. “I’m ok, didn’t get to bed that early, though, Jess forgot we had Charms homework due today so I was helping her out with that.” She rolled her eyes fondly. She hoped Brynn wouldn’t tell her off for giving up her sleep for Jess. They were heading towards the Ravenclaw dorms (at least it was fairly near her Muggle Studies classroom), and Erica wondered if there was something Brynn wanted to talk to about, noting their speeding up. “What have you got first period?”
Brynn shook his head. “You’re too nice,” he admonished her, but gave her a smile to soften it. He did admire her loyalty: it was what he liked about his Slytherin friends. They helped each other with their homework, too, but he suspected they bitched about it more than Erica would. “Charms,” he said, though he wondered why she cared. “So we’ve got time for a quickie, he never minds if I’m late.”
Brynn smiling always made Erica feel better - but she still felt a little uncomfortable today for some reason. She smiled back in response. When she heard Brynn’s next words, she slowed down. “Oh, Brynn. I don’t really feel like it right now, I’m sorry. Can we raincheck?” She bit her lip, feeling guilty for not wanting to. She was just tired and hungry and didn’t want to be late for class, as well as not feeling particularly sexy. Not that she needed to make excuses, she tried to remind herself.
Brynn slowed down too, letting go of her and turning to face her, the irritation rising again. “Rain check for when, two weeks from now, when I can finally have your attention again and you’re not too busy with your new friends?” The bitterness crept into his tone at the end there and he cursed himself; he hadn’t meant to confront her about this. He didn’t want to sound like some jealous idiot, and it wasn’t as if he wanted to be with her all the time. He just didn’t particularly like her spending time with people who he knew didn’t like him.
Erica flinched as Brynn turned to face him, taking a small step backwards. “That’s not…” she swallowed, realising she couldn’t admit it wasn’t true. “I’m sorry, babe, I’ve been trying to make it up to you.” She glanced around, aware that they were in a fairly busy corridor. Not wanting to draw attention to their problems, she asked, “Can we go somewhere private, so we can talk about this?”
Brynn watched as she clearly realised she couldn’t deny it, and snorted derisively. “You should be careful with them, they’re clearly got ulterior motives, but you’re too naïve to notice.” He watched for her reaction closely: if she was surprised, then she was just naïve, but he suspected she knew exactly what was going on and was enjoying the attention. “Oh, so now you want to go somewhere private?” This was such bullshit.
“Ulterior motives?” Erica asked in disbelief. That was laughable - if anything, Erica was the one who had ulterior motives, which was why she’d stopped hanging around them so much recently, as she was beginning to rely on them too much. “They’re just my friends, what do you think is going on there?” She couldn’t believe he was calling her naïve. “Brynn, please, I just don’t want any stupid gossip.” A few students had already started looking at them in interest, sensing the tension.
That answered his question, though he couldn’t quite believe she was that naïve. “How stupid are you? It’s obvious what they want. They’ll soon get tired of you though.” He had to make her see that they weren’t a good option for her. He needed her. “Why do you care so much what other people think?” He stepped towards her and lowered his voice. “I’m the only person whose opinions you should care about, Erica, your boyfriend.”
“Excuse me?” Erica couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth, and what he was implying about her friends. Him calling her stupid got her hackles up, and she stood up straighter. “They’ve been there for me recently when I’ve been feeling like shit, while you’ve barely noticed I exist. They don’t want anything, except me for me to be happy.” She flinched a little as he stepped closer, swallowing nervously. Was it normal to be scared of your boyfriend? “I’m allowed to have friends and care what they think,” she said quietly. Her skin crawled when she thought of him as her boyfriend; she wasn’t sure she could do this anymore. But then could she survive without Brynn?
She was suspiciously defensive of these people, Brynn noticed, and it made him more irate. “You’re supposed to come to me when you feel like shit, not go prancing off to people you’ve only known five minutes.” She used to come to him when she was upset, and spend most of her time with him. Her new friends had completely changed their relationship, and he thought she’d realised this and made an effort to change back. Now she was defending them. “You’re twisting my words. I just meant you shouldn’t care about stupid gossip.” People were losing interest in their conversation now, probably assuming they’d made up, but it didn’t seem like they were going to resolve this any time soon. “I want to spend time with you, babe, is that too much to ask?”
Erica frowned. “I would have gone to you if it felt like you had time for me.” He seemed colder these days, like he was just with her out of habit. And when he asked how she was, it seemed like he didn’t really care about the answer. Roxy and Dakota always cared about the answer, even if they’d only been friends, as Brynn claimed, for five minutes. “I don’t care about gossip, but I care if people are telling everyone about our business.” She was confused by his change in tone, from aggressive to caring. “I want to spend time with you, too, but I want to feel like I can spend time with my other friends as well. All of them,” she specified. She almost asked him if she was allowed to do that, before realising she shouldn’t have to ask her boyfriend if she could have other friends. She was starting to admit to herself that this relationship wasn’t really working.
“When do I ever not have time for you?” he asked. In his mind, it was the other way around. She was the one spending time with those idiots. That was the only thing that had outwardly changed in their relationship, so it was what was responsible for the distance between them. He knew that, why didn’t she? Weren’t girls meant to be better with all this feelings crap? “We’re just having a conversation, there’s no business for them to be spreading.” He was getting sick of this conversation. He should’ve just smoked something a little stronger this morning. “You can spend time with whoever you want. I would just think you’d want to spend most of your time with your boyfriend.”
Erica faltered for a moment, questioning herself. Was she making this all up? Was Brynn the loving boyfriend he’d always been? She took a second to remind herself of the way Dakota and Roxy interacted and the love that was obvious between them. She didn’t feel like that was true of her and Brynn anymore. “I feel like you don’t want to talk to me anymore. You don’t seem to care how my day was, and you don’t show me affection unless I start it.” She frowned, feeling like she was going to start crying any moment. “I would want to spend time with you if it didn’t make me feel like crap every time we spoke.” The more she spoke, the more it dawned on her how bad their relationship had become. She had to end it.
Brynn stared at her, incredulous. “Of course I want to talk to you, I- where is this coming from?” It hit him quickly, that he knew where this was coming from. “Is this what your new friends are telling you? I told you they’ve got ulterior motives, they’re trying to take you away from me.” How could he make her see? “I don’t want to make you feel like crap, we’ve just both been under a lot of stress. We need some ‘us’ time,” he said, reaching out to hold her hand. And for her to get rid of those friends.
“I- no, Brynn, this is nothing to do with them, it’s to do with us.” Although she was nearly convinced by him, there was a tiny voice in the back of her head which was reminding her to stay strong. The fact that he’d immediately assumed it was her ‘new friends’ was a red flag. She took a step back as he reached out for her hand, shaking her head. “I don’t think we need ‘us’ time, I think we need… I think we need to have a break.” She winced as she said the words, but felt a sense of relief.
Bullshit was it nothing to do with them. They were going to have to learn to stay away from Erica. It wouldn’t be the first person he’d had to threaten to stay away from his girl. He dropped his hand as she stepped back, panic beginning to flood him at the rejection. “A break? We don’t need a break, we need to spend more time together. C'mon, we’ve been together for nearly three years, we can’t give up at the first sign of trouble.” He stepped closer, gazing into her eyes. “I love you, Erica, we can get through this.”
Erica was beginning to feel a little panicked as Brynn took a step closer and couldn’t hold the intense eye contact he was maintaining. She closed her eyes for a moment to steel herself, opening them again and shaking her head. “I don’t think this relationship has been working for a while,” she said quietly, finally admitting it to herself. She had just been blinkered by her love for Brynn and tried to convince herself that it was still fine. She wanted to believe that he loved her and that they could get through this, but she wasn’t so sure. “I’m sorry, Brynn, but I don’t think we can.”
“We can make it work,” Brynn insisted. “I can make more time for you, if that’s what you need.” His panic was beginning to turn into rage. How could she do this to him, without warning, without giving them a chance? “This is because of them, isn’t it? I knew it, I knew you were cheating on me.” It was the only explanation. He was going to kill them, once he finished with Erica. “I’m not letting you do this. You can’t just throw this away.”
As Brynn switched to anger, Erica felt more sure than ever that this was the best thing for them. They couldn’t continue like they had been. She flinched away, taking another step back as he raised his voice, shaking her head as soon as he mentioned ‘them’. “No, I swear, it’s nothing to do with them,” - even though they had helped her see that her relationship was toxic, she couldn’t let Brynn think they’d been involved in any way. He was scaring her now and she felt tears start to fall. “Please, Brynn, you have to let me go.”
Brynn knew she was lying, that it was all their fault. He watched her step away, unable to comprehend how this had gone wrong so fast. He knew there was a distance between them, but not how close she’d become to leaving him. He had to stop her. “I’m never letting you go,” he practically snarled, and grabbed her arm, hard. Neither of them had noticed that people had began to stare again, but no-one intervened, either appreciating the drama or too scared of Brynn.
Erica felt her heart race as Brynn grabbed her, and she tried to pull away from him with little success. “Brynn, please let go of me,” she cried, feeling genuinely terrified of him for the first time. She almost wished she could agree to stay with him just so he would let go of her. He’d never physically hurt her but she sensed he might be able to.
Riley was on her way to class when she overheard some fourth years gossiping about Brynn and Erica having a big argument in the corridor. She couldn’t say exactly why, but it filled her with a huge sense of foreboding which had her hurrying towards the scene. She had to push past a few people, and sucked in a breath once she saw what was happening. Brynn’s other hand twitched, clenching into a fist. Riley didn’t even think before throwing herself forward to grab his arm, nails digging in, and hissing “Get off.” Brynn blinked at her, stunned for a moment, hand falling from Erica’s arm. He looked around at the people gathered, all hushed in horror, and stalked away. Riley turned to the crowd. “Fuck off or I’ll set you on fire,” she said, pleasantly, which had the desired effect. God, she was shaking from the adrenaline. She turned back to Erica, and faltered, taking in her teary face. She couldn’t just leave her here. “Do- is there somewhere- is there someone I can take you to?” she asked.
Erica could only stare as Riley appeared, pouncing on Brynn like a feral cat. Even when he let go, her arm burned where he’d been holding it, and she was sure if she looked down it would be red. She was barely aware of the movement around her as she stood there and continued to cry. Her hand trembled as she wrapped her arms around herself. She blinked at Riley and just about took in the words. “Dakota and Roxy,” she said, the words feeling like a lifeline.
That tracked, Riley thought, considering that was probably what had set Brynn off in the first place. "Okay, come on," she said, hovering her hand out for a moment near Erica's shoulder, before thinking better of it. Erica seemed barely aware of her surroundings anyway. It was a quiet walk to the Gryffindor Common Room, just checking that Erica was still with her every so often, and glaring at anyone who looked like they were about to try talking to either of them. She was still shaking a little. While she couldn't pretend she'd thought Brynn was kind to Erica, she'd never thought he could be capable of violence like that. It shouldn't surprise her, really. She knew that violence often followed cutting words, and sometimes the words could hurt just as much. She caught the door to Gryffindor as it was swinging shut, and was indescribably relieved to see Weasley and Lopez laughing together by the fire, though they both stopped abruptly when they saw Erica. Riley could tell from the fury on Weasley's face that she could put two and two together. "I'm sorry," she muttered to Erica, unable to look her in the eye, and fled.
