Green Eyed Monster

I wanna feel that sea breeze

[caccahuate-deactivated20161113]

morticians

[falyros]

DM after failed stealth roll: Hmm… You try to sneak around but you’re dummy thicc and the clap from your ass cheeks alerts the guards. Roll for initiative.

[loversdreamersandyou]

[prokopetz]

A new co-worker tried to assert his nerd dominance over lunch by explaining to me what Dungeons & Dragons is.

[mathweasels]

Rate the efficacy of his depiction on a scale of 0-100%?

[prokopetz]

He seemed to be under the impression that the Dungeon Master has their own secret character (also called the Dungeon Master), and that becoming powerful enough to fight this character is how you win the game.

[because-im-freaking-greed]

hey I have a new rule I’d like to propose for all editions of dungeons and dragons

[nerobot-eng-deactivated20150330]

i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom

[nerobot-eng-deactivated20150330]

my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told

[nerobot-eng-deactivated20150330]

who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’

[nerobot-eng-deactivated20150330]

WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUDGERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KISS THE POPSICLE DONT TICKLE ME JAMBOREE

[dragon-in-a-fez]

and here we have an artifact of the days when you could edit posts when you reblogged…now we are all Internet Archeologists

[approximately12screamingcats]

see that react?

that’s our dm

[boomjob]

Ways people draw elf ears:

Slightly pointy

Very pointy

Triangles

Stitch ears

[boomjob]

oh You Know

[hannahlady]

world of warcraft impossible ears

[boomjob]

OH YOU KNOW

[most-definitely-human]

[lofibeatstogoferalto]

HOT TAKE: REALLY LONG ELF EARS ARE THE ANIME TIDDIES OF THE ELF WORLD

[officialfist]

Hey man maybe shut the fuck up.

[lofibeatstogoferalto]

[giantscottbakula]

Limiting ear length is a sign of weakness.

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

You are all like little babies

watch this

[internalcumbustionengine]

you made this post a lot worse thanks

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

you’re welcome

[pancakeke]

bath tubs that can’t submerge an entire adult body should be illegal

[foreshvdowing]

Okay I know what you meant but you sound like a murderer

[thestuntkid]

[azolitmin]

practicing rabbits for a future project! 

[yunisverse]

yknow what i’m just going to give a quick bit of advice for any DnD or whatever tabletop players: if you’re trying to create a character and are stuck on their background, give them a job. Like a normal-ass job.

We have a witch in our party, but his greatest contribution to our campaign so far is that he’s also a fucking lawyer. The fact that in any given situation he can read the legality of our actions, the punishments for digression, the loopholes through it, it’s turned out to be absolutely vital to how we get through our dumbass shenanigans.

Our fighter, meanwhile, has a job as a professional dominatrix, and you’d be amazed how often it comes up? Her intimidation checks are through the roof she can just slam the butt of her spear against the floor and everyone shuts up and listens to her, it’s fantastic.

Like maybe this is an obvious thing to a lot of players, idk, but i have just been utterly charmed by how much you can get out of it–both in terms of utility and personality–if you have your character paying the bills not with dragon slaying, but with regular human professions.

[astriiformes]

#i love how the normal jobs are lawyer and dominatrix (via @warlockzhara)

[seatrench]

This variant of the Goldentail / Bastard Moray is known as the Banana Eel due to its colouration and markings resembling a ripe banana.

(source)

[cetitanhasmoved]

sorry the what? the what moray

[cromerholt]

scientist: let’s call you the… goldentail

banana eel: [bites scientist]

scientist: Okay motherfucker, new idea:

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Aquarium Tour Guide: and here in this tank we have a CRIMINAL

Bastard Moray: I’LL BITE U AGAIN WHEN I GET THE CHANCE

[kingofwhitetigers1994]

[pr1nceshawn]

Situations Anyone Who Has Laughed At The Anti-Vax Movement Can Relate To.

[trashmouthdickiebird]

PSA

y’all

need

to

read

Shimanami Tasogare

It is an amazing manga with an almost entirely LGBT+ cast and talks a lot about gender identity, sexuality and troubles faced by those within the LGBT+ community (especially for younger members). Also it is fucking BEAUTIFUL.

Kamatani Yuuki’s use of imagery and visual metaphors never fails to take my breath away.

Please just read the damn manga.

[sparkytheandroid]

I personally had an emotional breakdown because of this manga having a character I felt so connected to so definitely give it a read my dudes.

[seangetfreaky]

guys it’s getting an official North American release!

Volume 1 will be out on May 7th!

[tuxedo-rabbit]

I also want to point out that there’s ace/aro rep in this series too!

I was absolutely shocked, never expected to see that kind of rep in manga, but it’s there! The author identifies as X-gender and asexual, so it’s LGBT+ rep being written by an LGBT+ author!

It’s a really great series!!

[diego-hargreeves]

#ice cream truck music plays in the distance

[woshibai]

Bloodstain