Diary Of A Photographer

Jennifer Rachel Clare McCord / @jrcmccord

[rundeeppersonal]

[rundeeppersonal]

It was hot, and we had glitter covering our bodies, small snail trails of gold dust.  The countdown began, 10 9 8, sparklers were lit, 7 6 5, everyone danced and swayed waving their wands of light through the air, 4 3 2 1. New Years has always felt a little underwhelming to me, regardless of company or event, but standing on the side of an amphitheatre, surrounded by friends who feel like family with thousands of other people in the heat of the Australian night felt like the perfect way to celebrate the New Year. We trickled down to our tents again and lay in the grass together laughing. At about 2am we made our way to the top of the hill, laying down sarongs and sheets for us all to lie in. There we stared wide eyed at the stars, the milky way dusty and beautiful above our heads. Slowly we drifted off to sleep. I was shaken awake by someone setting off fireworks, it was 3.45 and the ceremony was about to begin. The monks took the stage and started to play, deep rhythmic songs to welcome the sun as it rose. The sky came alive with orange and pinks, the air threatening to become hot and sticky, even though the sun hadn’t risen. We sat together, huddled and watched as the golden orb slowly rose from behind the mountain. There were cheers, applause and a whole lot of hugs. I was sure my heart had never felt so full. As the sun continued to rise, some of our group lay in the grass, the warm air sending them off into drowsy dreams while the rays slowly crept over their skin.

[rundeeppersonal]

[rundeeppersonal]

Had the wonderful opportunity to work with Refused at their Leeds show last month. (2016)

[rundeeppersonal]

Spent some time wandering and creating with Elly whilst we were at SNAP.

[rundeeppersonal]

Elly at SNAP

[rundeeppersonal]

SNAP 2017 Last month I spent a week at SNAP for the third year running. I'm so grateful to be a part of this community. Grateful for the time I get to spend with people who feel more like family than friends, grateful to have some headspace, grateful for the time to shoot whatever I feel like and also grateful for the emotional rollercoaster that inevitably comes with this incredible festival. SNAP family forever and ever.

[rundeeppersonal]

[rundeeppersonal]

HO99O9 at The Sebright Arms - London, UK

[rundeeppersonal]

It’s A Palace From Ruin

[rundeeppersonal]

How to deal with stress as a creative:

As creatives we put a whole bunch of stress on ourselves. Deadlines from clients, being critical of our own work, running all aspects of a business ourselves (we don’t just create - many of us also take on the role of accountants, sales people and social media managers). So here are my top ways to combat stress:

Exercise

For me this is my number one stress reliever. It’s been proven that exercise causes your body to release endorphins which help fight fatigue, anxiety, depresison and stress. My brain is always working, running over time, jumping from one idea to the other and the idea of not thinking about anything is really alien. For me, exercise is as close as I can get to thinking about nothing apart from putting one foot in front of the other and rememembering to breathe. Running and swimming are great for working up a sweat and really exorcising my body of any stress. But my favourite is yoga, when I’m in a class I literally don’t think about anything else but the pose. Taking just an hour or two for myself to recharge your brain and work your body is one of the most beneficial things you can do.  More information on the stress relieving benefits of exercise can be found here.

Meditation

Ok so I’ll be honest; for YEARS I was really put off meditation. It seemed a little hippy-dippy to me and flared up my inner sceptic especially the whole idea of clearing your mind - seriously?! But the more I researched modern day meditation, the more I came around to the idea. It was this podcast on Nion Radio by Nick Onken with Emily Fletcher that really turned it around for me. Emily teaches Vedic meditation and speaks about all the benefits it can give you, from better sleep, to beating jet lag and even better sex. A lot of her claims are also backed up by scientific research from several outlets. After a bit more research I signed up for her course about a month later and it’s been one of the best investments I’ve ever made. When I’ve been in stressful situations, especially on tour, I’ve taken 10 minutes just to go and sit and meditate. I’ve then come back feeling a lot calmer but also more awake, alert and ready to deal with the situation. 

You can listen to the Nion Radio podcast with Emily Fletcher here.

You can learn more about the scientifc research into the benefits of meditation here.

Piano music

Spotify’s ‘Sleep’ playlist is great for this. You can find it here.

Writing

When my head feels too busy or I’m finding it hard to work through a problem, writing about it helps. That can be through a blog post, scribbling down in a notebook (there’s still something incredibly theraputic about putting pen to paper and physically writing instead of typing on a computer,) or just making a list. 

Creating just for you

We love what we do. Making money out of our creative outlet, it’s the dream... right? Sure. But sometimes it’s easy to get bogged down in creating for others. When was the last time you made drew, photographed, composed or wrote something just for you? Chances are you become an artist or a writer because it was your outlet, your passion. So take it back to the bare bones. Create what you feel, it doesn’t have to be perfect. You also never know where personal work can take you with clients. 

[rundeeppersonal]

I think, for the most part, that creatives feel things a lot more deeply than other people. We use our emotions to drive us, to fuel our work and to push ourselves  to be better. But, that emotion, the sensitivity can also do a lot of damage.  I’ve had people tell me that I’m doing well, that it looks like I’m busy and successful. And I just smile and say thank you, yes I’ve been busy and it’s been great. What I don’t tell them is that in the last year or so I’ve spent most of my time feeling like I’m on the verge of a panic attack at least once a day. I’ll have times where I’ll wake up in a panic, my heart racing, feeling like there’s something hanging over me or sitting on my chest - even when I’ve hit all my deadlines, nothing’s due and there’s nothing to worry about. In the last 6 months I’ve started feeling unsteady about my work. Where I once felt at least a little surefooted I now feel lost. I worry that my clients aren’t happy, that I’m not achieving what I should be and that behind my back, everyone thinks I’m shit.  So how do you tell someone that? When someone asks how you are, it’s not really socially acceptable to say ‘To be honest, I feel like I’m constantly trying to keep my shit together, I hate my work and if I’m really honest, I hate myself a little bit too.’ I mean, they’re either going to be shocked and taken a back, or they probably weren’t listening in the first place and just say ‘Oh I’m glad things are going well!’ So we just bite our tongue and tell them that we’re doing fine. Because I am, mostly. I’m fine. But fine isn’t good, and fine isn’t even close to being great. And then when I do find someone to spill my guts to, I leave feeling worried that I’ve said too much, that I’ve, to quote mean girls, word vomited all over them.  I know I’m not the only person that feels this way, I’ve seen it in the eyes of other people. I’ve seen it in the form of sarcastic, humourous tweets about anxiety or depression. Because it still feels like the only way to talk about it is to be self deprecating or you come off as vulnerable and weak. But let me just make something clear, I have an anxiety disorder but I’m neither vulnerable nor weak. Yes, I may feel like microwaved shit but I love what I do and I work my arse off to be the best I can be. Even on the days where breathing feels like an effort, I’ll still go and I’ll shoot the shit out a job. I’ll put 110% in to try and deliver the best I can do. Because while this job comes with a lot of stress it also comes with more rewards than I could ever have imagined. When I pick up a camera it feels like everything else is drowned out, it feels like an extension of myself, like the final piece of a puzzle just fell into place. So creatives, you are not alone. It’s ok to feel like you’re breaking down, even though your perfectly curated instagram feed may suggest otherwise to the outside world. And if you ever need to talk, then I’m here. You can message me any time, and while I’m not always the quickest to reply, I will reply.  I will also be blogging more frequently, about various aspects of the creative lifestyle. Tomorrow’s blog is about dealing with stress as a creative and the techniques and resources that I’ve found most helpful and I hope a few of you will find it useful. 

[rundeeppersonal]

Australia - Personal

A few of my personal shots from my time on tour in Australia with Half Moon Run. You can see my official shots from the tour over here

[rundeeppersonal]

Sarah - Woodford Festival 2/2

[rundeeppersonal]

Sarah - Woodford Festival 1/2

[rundeeppersonal]

The Wonder Years - Koko, London www.rundeepco.com

[rundeeppersonal]

Tour Gear Roundup

FINALLY I’ve gotten round to doing a gear breakdown. I’ve been asked about my gear a few times and I’ve honestly put off doing a post like this because I’m not an incredibly techy photographer. Sure, I do my research when I purchase products (I don’t even want to talk about how many days I spent learning about hard drives before buying my first LaCie - YES the extra money IS worth it!) but now I wouldn’t be able to tell you the megapixels or frame rate of either of my cameras without looking it up. I just want to shoot and to have a gear that’ll optimise my work flow and make my life easier.  So here’s what’s in my bag on whilst I’m on tour: 

Bag:

ThinkTank Airport Security V3.

So first off let’s talk about the bag. My love for ThinkTank knows no bounds. I LOVE their products and I’ve been using them for several years. I currently own 3 Think Tank bags (Shapeshifter, Urban Disguise 60 and most recently my Airport Security).  I’ll be honest. I’m messy, clumsy and tend to put my gear through the ringer so I need stuff that holds up. I’ve had my Shapeshifter for about 3 years and it’s incredible how well it’s lasted. It was my primary camera bag, especially for touring, until very recently when I decided to make the jump to the Airport as I was a) concerned about the weight I was putting on my shoulders  b) because I was facing a lot of travel and a suitcase type bag was just easier and c) I figured that the suitcase was sturdier in case I ever had to check my camera bag. Whilst the Airport is within the majority of carry on size limitations, with all my gear in it often hits around 20-25kg and is waaaaay over the carry on weight limit. (Also, it just occurred to me that I was carrying all of that around on my back - not good.) I’ve had to check the Airport 5x in the last few weeks and it’s done an incredible job of protecting my gear - sans Laptop which I took on board with me.) While I’ll still use my Shapeshifter for festivals and single shows, the Airport is definitely my number one for touring now.

Cameras: Nikon D810 Body Nikon D750 Body Impossible L1 Camera Hasselblad 500cm

I’ve always shot Nikon, initially because that’s the camera that was first recommended to me, but I love their build and I find their controls incredibly intuitive. (Especially on the D810). I’ve had the D810 for a little under 3 years now I think and I love it. It’s a heavy duty camera and it feels really solid. I find the controls incredibly intuitive and it just feels really good to shoot with. I traded my D610 for my D750 last March and my favourite thing has got to be the screen, it makes filming and shooting from awkward angles so much easier.Honestly, my dream camera would be somewhere between the two. The lightness and screen of the D750 with the shape and control layout of the D810. - Also, the D810 doesn’t allow you to have separate picture control settings for video and photo like the D750 does which can be pretty fiddly when you’re shooting a hybrid of both and you’re going back and forth.

Polaroid is one of my favourite formats to shoot. I love the tangibility of it, the process of shooting and waiting for your shots and the colours. I almost always take this on tour but I just haven’t got round to scanning any of the shots, so I currently have roughly 500 polaroids to scan. Not even kidding. The L1 and I did not get on when we first met. I found it temperamental and difficult to shoot on, I’ve thought about selling it several times. One day I got so frustrated with the eye piece that I just took it off and threw it in my bag. I haven’t put it back on since then and it’s way better. I can’t see directly what I’m shooting but it’s easy enough to estimate. You also have full control of the settings, unlike the Instax cameras. 

Okkkkk let’s talk about the Hasselblad. The Hasselblad has been my dream camera for the longest time. Looking through a Hasselblad is some kinda crazy magical experience to me, it’s so fucking beautiful. I wish I could just look at the world through it. I would probably shoot almost everything on this camera and my polaroid if it wasn’t so expensive to have the film processed. Because of the priciness and because it’s also pretty heavy and bulky, I only take this camera if I’m not limited by weight restrictions and I know I’ll have the time to slow down and shoot it. 

Lenses: Nikon 24-70mm 2.8 R Nikon 70-200mm 2.8 Nikon 14-24mm 2.8 Sigma ART 50mm 1.4 (Not Pictured)

Depending on the tour I may only take two of these lenses, especially in club venues. The 50mm and 24-70mm are definitely my workhorse lenses with the wide angle and telephoto only coming out when they’re really needed. On the summer run with Half Moon Run I found myself using the latter two a lot more due to the big stages and settings. It was important to capture the whole picture and my wide angle probably had it’s biggest workout this summer. 

Extra:

Memory Cards: Sandisk Extreme Pro CF Cards (32GB // 160MBs)  Sandisk Extreme Pro SD Cards (32GB & 64GB // 280MBS & 95MBS) LaCie Rugged Hard Drives

LaCie 2TB Fuel Wireless Fender & ACS ER20 Earplugs Pulse RavPower Charger Macbook Pro 15″

On tour I’ll be shooting a lot of content in a fast paced environment so I need something quick and reliable. Sandisk are incredible, have great customer service and I’ve only ever had one major problem with one of their cards - which I was able to recover with their great software. 

For me LaCie’s were kind of a no brainer from the get go. I usually take one or two on tour with me and whilst they’re a little pricier than most other hard drives, they’re fast and extremely tough so you can transfer your files quickly and throw them in a bag without too much worry. Their speed is important for my workflow and the hardiness, being the wonderfully elegant person that I am (not) I’ve dropped my LaCies (and even accidentally stood on them) more times than I’d care to remember and yet they’re still working. (Touch wood). They’re also a really great company who’ve sent me replacement wires literally the next day after I’ve been a little rough with one of the USBs. I also own the LaCie 2big for backing everything up at home and it’s incredible. I seriously recommend this brand to everyone.

Earplugs are important - PROTECT YOUR EARS KIDS! I’ve looked into getting some more expensive ones but to be completely honestly, I’d definitely use them. This is why we can’t have nice things etc etc.

Flash (Not pictured) - I use a Nikon SB700 Flashgun. I prefer not to use falsh unless necessary and will almost never use it for candid or portrait shots, but better safe than sorry.

I got my Pulse on Kickstarter - Essentially it allows you to remotely control your camera. I haven’t given it enough of a proper run around yet to say much but I’m excited to use it more this year. 

RavPower- Shout out to my wonderful boyfriend for the most useful present I’ve ever gotten. I literally use this charger every day for my phone, my kindle and even my camera batteries one time. 

If you’re wondering where to buy your gear my favourite is Fixation or Calumet in London. Both stores have incredibly knowledgeable staff who are always happy to help you with whatever you need.

If anyone has any more questions or feedback on this post I’d love to hear it. You can leave comments below or send me a message here!

[rundeeppersonal]

It was hot, and we had glitter covering our bodies, small snail trails of gold dust.  The countdown began, 10 9 8, sparklers were lit, 7 6 5, everyone danced and swayed waving their wands of light through the air, 4 3 2 1. New Years has always felt a little underwhelming to me, regardless of company or event, but standing on the side of an amphitheatre, surrounded by friends who feel like family with thousands of other people in the heat of the Australian night felt like the perfect way to celebrate the New Year. We trickled down to our tents again and lay in the grass together laughing. At about 2am we made our way to the top of the hill, laying down sarongs and sheets for us all to lie in. There we stared wide eyed at the stars, the milky way dusty and beautiful above our heads. Slowly we drifted off to sleep. I was shaken awake by someone setting off fireworks, it was 3.45 and the ceremony was about to begin. The monks took the stage and started to play, deep rhythmic songs to welcome the sun as it rose. The sky came alive with orange and pinks, the air threatening to become hot and sticky, even though the sun hadn’t risen. We sat together, huddled and watched as the golden orb slowly rose from behind the mountain. There were cheers, applause and a whole lot of hugs. I was sure my heart had never felt so full. As the sun continued to rise, some of our group lay in the grass, the warm air sending them off into drowsy dreams while the rays slowly crept over their skin.

[rundeeppersonal]