ɴᴏᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀ ꜱᴄᴀᴠᴇɴɢᴇʀ ɢɪʀʟ @rxyskywclkxr - Tumblr Blog

hisredempticn-a‌:

Ben couldn’t exactly say he thought the most of pageant girls himself, but the distaste that Rey had over the very concept of her being one of them? It was equal parts amusing and infuriating. Still, he got a smile out of it, even one as forced as the one she shot his way. “Well, I was right.” He teased, but he could sense that she was edging on being even more stubborn than he was. Not ideal. He was banking on her for this, he wanted to work with her. Why would he pick her if that wasn’t the case? He couldn’t imagine himself finding it easy to spend time around someone like Rose for a mission, as nice as she was. That was kind of the problem with her, actually. Standing up straighter, he grunted softly in frustration and then lifted his arm. “Rey, wait.” He stepped up from where he’d been leaning. “First of all, if you’re as good as everyone says you are, we won’t even make it to the bikini parade bullshit. Second of all, there really aren’t many other options at this point. You’re being asked, but no one is going to be impressed with a ‘no’ from a new recruit.”

@hisredempticn

If he was one of the other recruits, she’d punch him, she didn’t like the teasing tone, but there was nothing she could do about it. “When I said it should be an inside job and we should get one of us in the competition it didn’t mean it should be me!” Rey stood her ground before seeing how much more stubborn than her Ben was. That’s when she decided it was best to just leave, but that move didn’t turn out to be as successful as she thought. She turned around to face him, one hand placed on her hip, the other resting by her side. His words calmed her down a bit. It was nice hearing people thought she was good, and that they wouldn’t even get to that embarrassing part. “Well... There’s Rose. She’s around my age, not on maternity leave, she’s a good candidate.” Rey was still trying to get someone to be chosen in her place, but with what he said last...Rey loved a good challenge and she did want to impress others to get higher, to get recognized. And to get away from the desk duty. She grew more and more irritated and angry each moment, but she was angry not on Ben, but on herself, because she let him talk her into it. “Fine,” she grunted closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before opening them again.

#hisredempticn #( * convo.

hisredempticn-a‌:

The colour in her cheeks, Ben was sure it was there was a colour could surpass it. No, it was definitely his favourite. What a thing to wake up to, her rosy cheeks and her delicate, bewitching smile. It was almost hard to fully respond to him, to keep his thoughts from getting muddled as he stared back at her, his chest feeling heavy in a way that was overwhelmingly good. He was feeling so much now, more than he ever let himself before. It wasn’t necessarily all good, but that wasn’t really the point. Even the feelings that hurt, the brief flash of Rey, lifeless in his arms or Leia’s voice, the fact that she wasn’t here any longer, they were important. They made him feel more real, more connected to the galaxy than ever and to Rey, to their bond. Letting out a quiet breath, he struggled with what to say. “It was what needed to be done. I’d do it again. I’d do it even if the consequences were… worse.” He struggled with expressing that, maybe it was too heavy, but it was true. “Don’t tell me not to worry. You’re strong, but I feel it, I feel…”

“Rey, you need rest.” He said it sternly, but his concern was only out of such deep love. Ben refused to see her weak or hurt again, he didn’t want to feel her exhaustion through the bond. His fingers ran from her shoulder down her arm, to just above her elbow. It wasn’t dismissive, nothing about his tone or words meant to be, but he would never prioritise himself over her. “You of all people should know that I’m not alone… you said it yourself, once.” He pointed out, his other hand keeping him propped up as he watched her. “I’ll stay right here. I’ll sit in the chair, if I have to. You need it.” Ben was somehow equally insistent and pleading, concern clouding his still tired mind to the point where his tone could even be interpreted as harsh. It was all he could do to not completely freak out over almost losing her, about almost being alone forever without her tethered to him. “Please.” He added a moment later, swallowing the lump in his throat.

@hisredempticn

Rey shook her head feeling a sharp pain in her chest just from the thought of losing him. ”I appreciate it, but let’s hope we don’t ever come to that,” she said and gave his hand a soft squeeze. It hurt to hear his words, because they almost came true. Luckily he survived, but if there was a next time, he might not get this lucky again, and, damn, that hurt. On one hand she was not particularly fond of sharing a bond with Ben, only because he could feel what she was feeling. She didn’t want to worry him any more, but he could see right through her, through her lies. But on the other hand - she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the whole Galaxy, sharing this bond with him was one of the best things that had happened to her.

“I will, I promise,“ she smiled back at him, breath slightly hitching in her throat feeling his fingers travel from her shoulder to her elbow. For some weird reason after the kiss they shared she was so much more aware of him, his touch, where his hands were... And it sent goosebumps all over her body. “I know, we’re bonded, but... I guess I didn’t want you to wake up alone. Physically alone. I just...“ she looked away, her brows knitted together as she was trying to figure out how to voice her thoughts. “After everything that happened... I don’t want to leave your side, as crazy and stupid as it may sound,“ Rey scratched the back of her head at how embarrassingly honest she was being. She looked back at Ben, who had now propped himself up on his hand and was much closer to her than before. And the pleading in his voice... it was like he truly feared losing her. Her heart was beating faster. It would be so easy to just lean in and steal a kiss... She longed to feel his lips on hers. But no. She must not do that. “I have my own room. You must rest your leg, which means you are not allowed to sleep in a chair. Only I am allowed to,“ Rey replied with a small, playful smirk.

#hisredempticn #( * convo.

hisredempticn‌:

Maybe Ben could have thought to say what he’d said with a little less certainty. He didn’t mean to be cocksure, it was a trait he’d regrettably picked up from his father, but it seemed to flare up around her. She always seemed to have a retort for the things that left his mouth, she’d already proved herself as the best shot in all the newer recruits. So, she was a little stubborn and it’d gotten her stuck on desk duty, he’d been in a similar position once. Scoffing, he continued to watch her, not quite believing her words. “Going undercover isn’t about who you are, Rey. In fact, I’d say that a prim and proper pageant girl is about as far from you as there is and it’s a good opportunity to prove yourself.” He said, trying to challenge her. “You’d get a coach, you wouldn’t be doing this alone. Tell me you don’t have a winning smile somewhere underneath all that insubordination.”

She opened her mouth to object again, but scrunched her nose once more, she didn’t like all this girly stuff at all, especially the thought of being a pageant girl. That word combination made her think of not that intelligent girls squeezed into tight, bright pink dresses or looking like Barbies dressed in bikinis and high heels. That was everything Rey hated. At his words Rey forced a smile at him. “Here. Happy?” Her smile instantly dropped and she got up from her seat, ready to leave his office any moment. “Yeah, well, a coach won’t be parading in some hot pink thong bikini in front of the whole world and shedding a tear about wanting world peace, that would be me and only me alone. Hard pass.” And with that she turned around to leave the office. She’d rather do paperwork than be one of the pageant girls.

#hisredempticn #( * convo.

hisredempticn‌:

A wave of relief rushed through him as Rey assured him that she had felt his assurances through the bond. Ben knew he’d needed time to recuperate, for his body to heal itself with the help of what they seemingly have on offer on a Resistance base. He knows where he is, on some level already, because otherwise how would this all have been possible. The confirmation was more to make sure that he wasn’t imagining that she’d brought him to the place where the people in the galaxy who resented him most were trying to celebrate saving it. On some level, Ben didn’t believe that he deserved to be there, but he also didn’t know how long he would be there. There were a lot of questions he had, most of which he wasn’t feeling in the best state to ask. He’d save them for when he wasn’t completely caught up in the smile she gave him. So gentle and kind and genuine and he swore his heart skipped a damn beat. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad to be alive.” That wasn’t something he’d ever thought to say before, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to mean it. Now that he was looking at her, though, that was a different story. Nodding, he took a breath and then frowned.

“Okay.” For a moment, Ben just took in her words, but he knew there wasn’t much to say about the other Resistance members and what they thought about him. He’d done what he could for now, he knew there would be instances where it would be impossible to make them believe he had balanced himself, let in enough light to stand beside Rey, to save her. He was more focused on what she’d said about trying to heal him. Placing his hand on her upper arm, he tried to be almost stern. “Rey, you shouldn’t be giving away any more of yourself, you’ve.. you’ve already given so much to me. I don’t want you going too far.” He was revealing real fear in his words. He’d been the one closest to losing her. “Stars, you’re probably exhausted, have you… have you just been sitting in that damn chair? All three days?”

Rey had heard stories from people, who were or had been in love, telling her how with the right person both of them can just spend hours in complete silence, not saying a word, just being by each other’s side and enjoy their presence. It sounded silly to her wasting time like that, but she finally understood them. It felt like she could gaze at him for the rest of the day, take all his features in and memorize them (as if she hadn’t done it already while he was sleeping), maybe even lift her hand and let her fingers gently brush over his cheek, down to his jaw, brush a few strands of hair out of his face... and maybe... maybe lean in to steal another kiss... But she didn’t dare to do it. Rey averted her eyes from his lips and looked down at their joined hands, cheeks getting a bit more rosy, which she chose to ignore and pretend it wasn’t happening. “I’m glad too,” her voice was almost a whisper, and another small, loving smile curved her lips.

When he was brought on the ship, Rey told people what he did, how he turned around and saved her life when she was gone, how he gave almost all of his life to her, just so she could live. The most selfless act she could ever imagine. Some people forgave him, some only understood, but couldn’t bring themselves to fully forgiving, some didn’t believe at all, but she didn’t blame them. They couldn’t see what she saw, they couldn’t see and feel the light in him. It was there. Slowly growing and spreading. “No, you gave your life to me, I was just healing you whenever I could, it’s nothing compared to what you did... I could never repay you for that, a thank you is not enough,” she shook her head a bit. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,” Ray said with a reassuring smile, which got replaced by a little bit of guilt. Denying the obvious was pointless. “Yes. I...” She didn’t quite have a reason why she was there, she just... she wanted to. She needed to. “I couldn’t leave you alone.”

#hisredempticn #( * convo.

hisredempticn-a

@rxyskywclkxr

“You’re not going to say no.” A scoff left his lips as he leaned against his desk. “You’re telling me you’d rather be sitting there while we’re catching the bad guys? Is that what you joined for, Rey?” Ben was playing unfairly with the longing she probably felt to be out in the field and he knew it, but he refused to pick anyone but her. She was one of the newest recruits, a little overzealous but talented, although he’d never actually paid her a compliment for it. No, usually, he was giving her a hard time instead. Still, Ben gave everyone a hard time, he was quite aware that he was almost universally disliked amongst the rest of the special agents. His expression was neutral, maybe marginally amused at her offence to the suggestion that she would be the one to go undercover. “Stop overthinking it. It’s a job. We get in, we get it done.”

rxyskywclkxr

“Oh?“ she looked at him in a slight irritation, but a more challenging look on her face. She had to bite her tongue so ‘watch me’ wouldn’t slip from her lips. That would probably piss Ben off and she definitely didn’t want to do it, that would mean she’d be stuck doing more boring paperwork than she already had to. She wanted to object to his words, but he was right. More than anything Rey wished to be out in the field, catch the bad guys, kick some butt along the way. “As much as I’d like to help you out in this case, if you haven’t noticed it, I’m not the most girly girl. I don’t even own a proper dress! I hate dresses,“ Rey scrunched her nose after her comment. “I don’t want to be the reason this mission fails, I’ll have to decline your offer.“

#hisredempticn #( * convo.#i am honored to do this au with you! :3

hisredempticn‌:

The longer that Ben looked at her, the more he realised that she looked like a wreck. Clearly she was exhausted, sleeping in that chair couldn’t be comfortable and yet she hadn’t nestled herself in beside him. He wished she had. Quickly, he shelved that thought, maybe she didn’t want to, maybe… though, of course, they’d shared that kiss, some time had passed. It was an intense moment and though he knew in his heart that their bond was radiating with tenderness the moment her eyes met his. He was so unfamiliar with such gentle feelings, he wasn’t sure what he was to do or how to act, so he just stared back at her very still, scared to move. He couldn’t help but remain still whens he threw herself out of her seat to pull him into a hug. “Oof.” It was hardly graceful, but they never were and he’d also never deny her anything, much less a hug he didn’t even know he’d been quietly longing for.

Cautiously, his hand pressed against her back and he enjoyed the comforting tightness of her arms around him. She was safe and alive, her soft voice making him frown somewhat but only because he didn’t quite know how to respond. “Did you not feel me there? In the bond? I tried to keep letting you know that I was…” He sighed, a hand reaching up to softly touch her hair as if to remind himself that she was real and there, pressed against him. No matter how close he’d gotten to her through the force bond, nothing compared to her being there with him, nothing could overwhelm him quite like her unexpected affection. Swallowing thickly, he asked what he’d been wondering. “How long have I been out? And where… exactly, am I?”

It seemed a bit selfish, but she wouldn’t be able to enjoy the victory as much if she had lost Ben too. Of course she was happy the fight was over and they had won, but she wasn’t celebrating, not when Ben was still fighting for his life. But it was also over now, he was awake and regaining his strength, she could now feel it clearly through their bond. “I felt it, I did,” she replied giving him one last squeeze before pulling back, but staying seated on the edge of his bed, a smile curving her lips, but soon it slightly faded. “I just... All of this has taken so many lives of people that I’ve grown close to or learned to trust that I thought —” she cut herself off and shook her head. “You know what, that’s not important,” Rey looked in his eyes with a smile before gently placing her hand on his. “You’re awake and getting better, that’s all I care about.” Love was something she had never felt before, not this kind of love. She knew she loved her parents even though she didn’t remember much about them, but this love was different, this was new and exciting, one that made her stronger, one that made her heart go crazy when he was near, one that made her skin tingle where his skin touched hers, one where she didn’t want to be away from him.

Then his face slightly dropped and she had a hunch of what was coming next. “Uh...” To be honest Rey herself was slowly losing track of time being near him all day and night. “A bit over three days. I tried to give you my life force whenever I felt like you were starting to slip away. And we’re in... the Resistance base,” she added a bit hesitantly. “But don’t worry, you’re safe. Nobody’s going to hurt you. I can’t say everyone’s happy having you here... But they know they’d have to go through me first,” she tried to say it sternly, but she was too tired and it didn’t sound as strong as she had hoped, but that didn’t change the fact she was going to protect him at all costs. Especially now when he wasn’t able to defend himself.

#hisredempticn #( * convo.

hisredempticn-a

@rxyskywclkxr

Ben woke with a cloudy mind, his body damp with sweat and his hair falling across his face as he turned over in the small bed he vaguely remembered collapsing into. It wasn’t really big enough for him, so he’d been sleeping with his good leg half hanging off, uncomfortable but recuperating. His other leg was wrapped, elevated above a folded blanket and as he lifted his head slowly and glanced down at it he frowned. They must have worked on it while he was asleep, he could hardly remember. It felt like he’d been in such deep slumber, every now and then feeling Rey there through the bond, breathing and alive and allowing him to feel brief relief to keep resting. Now that he had awoken, he wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep. Reaching up, he pushed his hair out of his face, slicking it back with a combination of perspiration and probably dirt. His eyes adjusted to the light he was surrounded by, immediately searching the room for her because he sensed her there, his other half. Rey. Ben’s shoulders relaxed when he caught sight of her form by his side, rested in a chair and half asleep. For a moment he just gazed, he couldn’t help it. He’d not been allowed to just stare, not without feeling overwhelming guilt. The moment was short, though, as he heard her rouse from sleep and cautiously he reached out, brushing his fingers over hers, his eyes regrettably becoming glassy in his exhaustion. “Rey.”

rxyskywclkxr

The last few days were the most intense she had ever had - the biggest battle of her life, dying, coming back, losing Leia and spending every waking moment by Ben’s side, scared, waiting and desperately wanting to see him to wake up. He saved her life giving her his own, leaving himself on the brink of death. She had lost so much, she couldn’t lose him too, especially when she had finally completely realized her feelings towards him. Finn tried to get her to sleep in her room or do something productive to get her mind off of Ben, assuring her he’s going to be fine, he’s strong, but she refused every time. Rey spent every moment in Ben’s room, trying to heal him through the force whenever she could or just reading (sometimes even reading out loud for him), just being there, even sleeping. The chair she had there was comfortable enough for siting, but not for sleeping, she always woke up stiff, couldn’t get any good night’s sleep, always hearing what was happening around. Almost any louder noise woke her up, but the chair was not the only reason for that - what if Ben woke up?

Rey had fallen in light sleep again, exhaustion taking over her. Dark circles had started to form under her eyes. Like always it wasn’t long until a louder sound woke her up, but this time it was not just the sound, she could feel Ben’s life force was getting stronger. Heavy eyelids, it took a moment to open her eyes, but when she did... oh boy. Was she dreaming? Ben was looking right back at her. Suddenly she felt his fingers brushing over hers, it sent a jolt of electricity through her body. This was real. She wasn’t dreaming! A soft gasp fell over her lips as she jumped up from her seat and launched towards him,wrapping her arms around his tired body in a tight hug. She was probably about to squeeze the last remaining life out of him, but she didn’t care, she was happy he woke up, he was getting better. “I was almost starting to think I lost you,” she whispered, her voice close to breaking. She his her face in his hair. They weren’t washed for days, but she didn’t care. He was back.

#hisredempticn #( * convo.