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Cute cooking boy! 💙

—— JAMISON.

–– there was a RELIEVED smile on the taller boys face that faded, along with the blush on his cheeks as benji refused them. though, jamie simply pushed them toward him, “ take them, ” he instructed. it wasn’t exactly a question, but more of a DEMAND. he didn’t just want benji to come, he wanted him to get the special treatment, a meet and greet, a good view, and the same meet and greet AFTER the show. he wanted to SEEhim again. because after tomorrow night, he didn’t know when he’d be coming back. but, he knew this boy was special. he made him feel like jamie acosta, but with much LESSpop star and much MORE, guy in a diner. “ c’mon ! really ! ” jamie pushed them a bit closer, almost teasing him “ besides, why do you think i’m carrying them ? i give them to fans who can’t afford to come. and for brighton, i choose your pretty face and whoever you wanna bring. ”

benji momentarily chews on the inside of his cheek, looking over the tour visuals on the vip lanyards before glancing up at the singer. it’d be RUDE of him to keep denying the offer... right ? his morals are fleeting him quickly, shaky hands already reaching for the lanyards as his cheeks FIRE UP all over again. he k n e w jamie was a bit of flirt—but to experience it firsthand is another story altogether that benjamin can’t BEGIN to discuss. “ this is really too much... “ but he s m i l e s, looking up at jamie with a small grin beginning to paint his lips. “ calling me pretty and offering me these VIP tickets—it sounds like you’re trying to get me to be a GROUPIE. “ he’s only JOKING, a teasing lilt in his voice—cause only in benji’s DREAMS is he one of jamie’s groupies.

#( thread. )

—— JAMISON.

–– with his feet propped up on the stools base, he leaned over the counter. elbows keeping him from collapsing completely. simply just EXHAUSTED from staying up this late after a show had ended. there had been far too many days where jamie felt like he was going to PASS OUT because he never seemed to find enough time to sleep. he’d only been touring for a few years, he still wasn’t accustomed to getting three hours of a sleep, a morning radio show, and afternoon interview and a show the night just to repeat it all over again. it all seemed a little overwhelming. but, talking to benji brought him back to reality– even if it was only a for a little bit. getting to listen to someone just speak about real life problems that he didn’t have to deal with made his heart warm. remembering that there were still REAL people out in the world. not just fake happy news anchors, crazed fans and money hungry friends. “ your price range ? ” jamie questioned, holding up a hand. “ jus-just stay there ! ” he grinned, rushing out of the diner, finding his parked van, rummaging through dirty clothes and papers that needed his signature. two VIP passes making their way into his hand, hung on special edition lanyards. only to rush back, placing them on the bar. “ here you go. ” he whispered, slightly out of breath. “ for you and a friend. ”

“ yeah, those tickets are EXPENSIVE. “ benjamin PAUSES when jamie tells him to stay put, eyes narrowing at the singer as he rushes out of the diner—leaving benji to go do... SOMETHING. he takes the time to step out from behind the counter and take the other three boys orders, writing them down with lightning ease after working in a diner for over a year. when jamie returns, benji’s busied himself with wiping down the counter, glancing up at the door when the telltale sound of the BELL can be heard. eyes widen at the sight of the LANYARDS in his hands, dropped down on the counter in front of him. “ i-i... i can’t take these. “ he shakes his head—fingers ITCHING to reach for the two VIP passes offered to him. “ that’s really, really sweet of you, jamie, but... i can’t take these. i can’t pay for them and i feel BAD just taking them. “ but he can already IMAGINE the look on his sisters face when he tells her what THEIR plans are gonna be tomorrow night.

did he just plant a popcorn kernel in coffee grounds…

#( visage. )

—— JAMISON.

–– jamie watches him slowly, eyes following every motion his body made, not sure which part to focus on the most. it was like benji’s body was moving at once and he didn’t know how to help and it made him feel like such a FAILURE. he couldn’t help the one person he loved the most in this world; there were only very few people who could say that and jamie was one of them. the only time when being unique was the worst thing in the world. things took a strange turn when benji raised his voice, he’d never heard him get so loud before and the fact that no one came running to figure out what he was talking about made his features soften. “ am i –– am i the FIRST to know ? ” for some reason he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it come from benji, himself. EVERYTHING else they’d been talking about was forgotten because the answer to this became the most important thing to him. “ or am i the LAST ? ” he could feel his heart stop as he asked if he was the last, just the feeling of being the last to know about something so big made the TEAR that remained in his heart deepen, feeling the A C H E in chest as his heart hung onto their halves by a thread.

benjamin curls into the thick fabric of his sweater, sha k y fingers coming up pull his hood over his head—to try and shut himself out a little bit more and feel a little bit SAFER. before he knows it though, with all the time benji had spent PUSHING jamie away, the urge to have him close is really starting to get too strong. he leans down to drape himself over jamie, a wave of fatigue taking over jamie. it’s been a frequent feeling the last little while—and he’s quite positive they’re not gonna subside any soon either. “ orion was the first to know... i trusted her the most with this, we’ve been through a lot together. i-i told her not to tell angel but—i dunno if she actually respected my wishes or not. “ benji would really prefer that jamie was the SECOND person to know—but considering angel came and CONGRATULATED him the other day, benji put two and two together that she was in on his little... secret. he nuzzles his face into jamie’s neck, eyes closing tightly again as he mumbles “ i-i’m sorry... i didn’t w a n t it to be like this. “

#( thread. )

—— JAMISON.

–– a soft chuckle comes from his LIPS, rolling his eyes softly as he settles comfortably in his chair, elbows resting on the bar. of course, he didn’t mind being told he was tall. he remembers jumping to the size he was. it was the summer between grade eight and grade nine. he was usually on the SHORTER SIDE of all of his friends, until that quick growth spurt hit him like a ton of bricks. “ oh, uh, y-yeah, ” he laughs, looking at benji, “ get that EVERY time. ” he responded, his voice softer than usual before looking up at him trying to recover from his mistake. “ no, no, you’re okay ! it’s nice to meet some of my fans out here. were you at the show earlier ? ” he asked, leaning over the counter, eyes focused on the blue boy. “ i feel like i would’ve remembered a PRETTY FACE like yours, though. ” jamie teased him, his voice simply drowning in FLIRTATION as he chuckled, resting his chin on the apple of his palm. a toothy grin still a part of his features, brown eyes focused on the reaction to his attempt at flirting on the other.

he figured it’d be best to leave jamie’s friends to it—with the way they were still obnoxiously talking to each, they weren’t ready to order yet. besides, maybe it could give one of the other waitresses waiting for their shifts to end something to do until their freedom. his heart feels like it was quite literally squeezed with how soft jamie’s voice is, little grin painted on the petite boys lips as he ducks under the counter to get behind it. “ it’s just... shocking. i knew you were tall but it’s very jarring when you’re 5′2″ and you have somebody an ENTIRE foot taller than you just. right there. “ he laughs lightly, places his notepad down on the counter as he scribbles out jamie’s order for waffles with banana slices, glancing back up at him as the blush doesn’t budge a bit. “ w-what ? oh, no, no, no... i couldn’t make it to the show, no. bit out of my price range for a college student and a shitty boss that like, forgets to pay us. “ the ‘pretty face’ comments sits heavy on his stomach, suddenly feeling like he was about to take off with the amount of butterflies in his stomach.

#( thread. )

—— JAMISON.

–– jamie could feel his brain stop working, the function it held just pausing. his body froze, muscles tensed just letting it SINK IN. the phrases ‘ it came out as positive ’ was playing on repeat. it was like this was all a dream, vivid and surreal, but a dream. it was just so strange to think about how could this have happened. jamie vaguely remembers the horror stories he was told in health class; all about safe sex and how one time and your partner could be pregnant. but, it was always bullshit. according the porn he watched, it was all BULLSHIT. and of course, jamie with this mindset, was the one to fuck up. “ wh-what ? ” he mumbled, not wanting to benji to repeat himself, just reminding himself that this reality and that he was most definitely NOT asleep. from his kneeling position, he pulls benji’s legs down, letting them hang off the bed once more, moving a bit closer to him. “this –– hey, don’t CRY, this is okay. ” he mumbles, not believing it himself. hands came up, resting on the sides of the smaller boy’s cheeks, thumbs wiping at the tears that came from his eyes, following the path of those previous. “ c’mon, LOOK AT ME, baby boy. ” jamie told him, eyes wide as he looked back him. “ we’re gonna figure this out, alright ? ”

benji lets a sob SHAKE his body, arms tightening around his knees till the skin went a bit paler with just how tight he was holding onto himself. bile crawls up the back of his throat slowly, and it takes almost every goddamn muscle in his body to not just throw up on the spot. upon jamie’s DISBELIEF, benji lets a quiet whimper tumble past his lips as he mumbles “ please don’t make me say it again. “ he shakes his head, a sniffle quick to follow his words. though he lets jamie pull his legs down from their curled up position, eyes screwing shut tightly as he tries to will the tears to S T O P falling. “ jamie, i-it’s not okay. neither of us are ready to have a baby ! i-i don’t even know if i WANT a baby ! at least not... not n o w. when we’re older, and we’re settled down. not when i’m only twenty-two. “ he pushes into jamie’s hands on his cheeks like a cat, eyes finally fluttering open to look at jamie through a wide doe-eyed look. “ we should’ve been more CAREFUL. “

#( thread. )

—— JAMISON.

–– pursed lips were the expression that stayed on his face as he thought about what to get. favoring what the waiter ( now known as benji ) had said, he scanned through the breakfast foods. everything looked far too H E A V Y for what he was feeling in the moment, looking back up at him he shrugs and says, “ what about… the waffles ? maybe a few banana slices on them if the BIG GUY back there doesn’t mind. ” leaning back to see the chef readying up his stove for jamie’s batch of food. looking around, he spots the bar knowing that his friends would continue to be boisterous. fitting himself between the waiter and his seat he chuckled softly, the height difference between the two being a bit frightening. “ sorry, i’d just rather separate myself from them. ” an excuse that wasn’t a COMPLETE lie. “ –– jamie, ” taking a seat on one of the bar stools, “ by the way. i’m jamie. ”

“ the waffles are pretty good, i gotta admit. guilty pleasure of mine. but i’m sure i can sweet talk the chef into make the banana slices happen. “ he smiles wide at the singer, QUITE surprised with himself that he hadn’t made a goddamn fool of himself. but there’s still tons of time to do that, jamie had only j u s t got here. benji steps back a small bit when jamie moves to stand up—lips parting softly just at the sheer mass of this fucker. “ wow, you’re... a l o t taller in person. “ it comes out before benji really has a chance to stop himself, mentally slamming his hand into his face, cause that has GOT to be old news to jamie now. “ i-i’m sorry, you must hear that a lot. and i know who you are ! oh, that just... sounds creepy. “ the light pink blush dusting his cheeks FIRES UP completely, cheeks enveloped in crimson. “ i’m just... a big fan of you. “

#( thread. )

—— JAMISON.

–– how could it be HARD to say ? it was just a conversation between the two, they’d been dating for god knows how long, and benji still couldn’t tell him O N E thing. if jamie wasn’t so focused on him, he could’ve taken it the WRONG way and his heart would’ve been BROKEN. but his mind was only focused on the boy before him; scared for what could possibly be wrong. if jamie had done something, if someone else had hurt him, if he wanted to break up with him. whatever it was, it must’ve been pretty terrible for benji to ignore jamie’s attempts to help. “ just –– just FUCKING say it. ” jamie paused, hands reaching out to sit him down on the bed as jamie followed, kneeling before him. “ please. i’m just scared… ” jamie mumbled, not really wanting benji to hear that he was simply terrified. “ talk to me, it’s just me here, benji. ” jamie whispered, keeping their voices HUSHED and only between the pair.

jamie’s practically got benji CORNERED now—no room to run off or try and worm his way out of this conversation with excuses. jamie has a right to know, this is just as much his baby as it is benji’s. making a decision, or keeping him out of the loop completely would just be... wrong on so many levels. he’s s i l e n t for a few moments, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he lets jamie’s word SINK into his skin. “ o-okay. okay, um... okay. “ benji scoots back a bit on their bed—just enough to pull his feet up onto the edge and hug his knees to his chest. “ s-so, um. about two months ago, right ? when we were... y’know. a-and you didn’t have a condom on. it took about a month, but i started feeling so.. s i c k. i was more tired than usual, throwing up a lot, a-and i just kinda waved it off for a while. just... i just thought it was stress from travelling and your tour. but then my period was late and that was a BIG uh oh in my books cause y’know. that’s bad. so i finally took a pregnancy test cause like... it has to be that, right ? nothing else could explain THIS shit. a-and it came out positive. i just... god, i didn’t know what to tell you. i didn’t WANT to tell you at all. “ he’s not sure at what point he started CRYING, but the tears rolling down his cheeks are almost never-ending.

#( thread. )

—— JAMISON.

–– a L A U G H escaped him again hearing the other ask for reassurance that they weren’t intoxicated or inebriated. they definitely weren’t, he and his friends still riding the HIGH of the show jamie had done a few hours prior. their ears were ringing, their eyes glossy, and their clothes were covered in the smell of hundreds of girls COTTON CANDY AND VANILLA scented bath and bodyworks body spray. jamie simply smelled of cologne and old spice from being on stage, but his friends masked that, unfortunately. mentally waving the smell from his nose, he looked up at the boy who appeared taller than he was, looking down at the menu. “ uh, i definitely know what i want. you can forget about these dummies. ” motioning to the boys he sat with, eyes back up on the boy. ADORABLE. he thought, clearing his throat. “ well, actually, what do you recommend… ” jamie trailed off, eyes narrowing on his name tag. “ BENJAMIN. ”

a soft GIGGLE bubbles past benji’s lips as he keeps his face hidden in his notepad—not even writing anything DOWN yet on his paper. “ sadly, i cannot forget about them. i’ll get in trouble from my boss for favoritism of customers. “ even though this may be true, and benji cared A LOT more about jamie than his friends. there’s a light BLUSH that dusts his pale cheeks then, glancing down to his nametag briefly before his attention is immediately turned back on the singer. “ just benji works. that’s what everybody calls me. i have to say the food here is good, but... between you ‘nd me, it’s not. way too greasy. personally though, i think breakfast foods really late is absolutely the b e s t thing. “

#( thread. )

—— JAMISON.

–– it’d been days, maybe weeks, he’d honestly lost count. just watching benji practically ignoring any question about how feels made his HEART ACHE. benji, of all people, should know that jamie’s temper was quick. it was like a light switch, he could be grand and happy one moment and want to punch a hole in the wall the next. it’d nearly all gotten to him before he got a day to relax and chill. the stress of shows mixed with his boyfriend not telling him a damn thing TORE HIM to pieces. “ hey, benji, can i –– just come here. ” his voice seemed a bit more forceful, obviously angry, but not as anger as days before. shutting the door behind the pair he looked down at the shorter boy, “ what the FUCK has been your problem these past few days ? ” it’d been WEEKS, jamie. “ like, why won’t you talk to me ? ” a step or two was taken to stand in front of the door, not letting the other leave until he’d told him.

his heart practically LURCHES into his throat when he hears jamie’s voice telling him to come over here, swallows down the b i l e slowly wanting to crawl up his throat ( both from the PREGNANCY and his completely frazzled nerves recently ) as he gives a short nod and follows jamie into the private room on the tour bus, staring down at their shared bed. ‘probably where this baby was... conceived’ he thinks with a BITTER laugh—thin arms coming up to cross over his chest before he slowly turns towards his boyfriend. jamie DOES deserve an explanation, and definitely deserves to know what's going on in benji’s... stomach. he’s QUIET when jamie asks what’s wrong the past few days—to which benji replies with a laugh. the youngers been avoiding both his problems for almost two weeks now, not a few days. “ i-it’s not... it’s not that easy to just SAY, jamie. “

#( thread. )

—— JAMISON.

–– arms were outstretched as he followed his friends into the small diner, exhausted from a show only a few hours before this. they decided to eat something before they all fell asleep on his tour bus and wait for the show the next morning a venue near the small diner. it was mostly empty, the only diner open TWENTY-FOUR hours. he heard the nostalgic bell ring, noticing the hosts that someone had walked in, a smile on his lips as the hostess looked up at him. “ uh, four for jamie. –– or ACOSTA. ” he grinned before the she took out for menus, letting his friends go before him, taking a seat on the outside of the booth, finally relaxing a bit. jamie turned to his friend as he told a joke, a loud laugh coming his lips; creating a SCENE that grabbed the attention of the few patrons and the waiters around the restaurant. “ they probably think we’re some hooligans who just finished smoking. ” jamie teased, “ we’re sober ! i swear ! ”

at three forty-eight am, benji really doesn’t have the ENERGY to be putting up with a gaggle of boisterous teenage boys. even if one of them I S benji’s idol since he was like, sixteen years old. with an embarrassing amount of merchandise, that is. benji offers a small smile—could even be considered SHY as he leads the group towards a free booth. “ are you sure ? “ he asks with a small grin tugging at the petite boy’s lips. he reaches for the notepad resting inside his apron, reaching up to grab for the pen tucked safely behind his ear. “ do you already know what you guys want ? or should i come back in a few minutes ? “ he glances up at jamie through his lashes, teal hair falling in his face that he simply tries to ignore.

#( thread. )

BENJAMIN J HARRINGTON

↳ character study; PHONE

#( aesthetics. )

lips purse together tightly as benji pushes fading blue hair from his face, leaning against the counter as he waits. the diner is q u i e t—he’s got no classes tomorrow, so his boss decided to put him on the late shift. hazel eyes watch the clock tick endlessly, counting the seconds as he waits for somebody—ANYBODY to enter the diner so something can at least make something worth his while. benji hums quietly to himself—something big quiet under his breath as the bell over the door r i n g s, pulling benji out of his trance as... as the WRITER of the song trudges into the diner. if you told benji he’d end up serving JAMISON ACOSTA at almost four am—he’d laugh about it and b l u s h before waving you off.

#( thread. )

nestorquik

The boy is back!!! +

#( visage. )

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