no mourners

MJ | 19 | she/her | 🇬🇧

[sankta-starkova]

NAVIGATION

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ABOUT ME...

— MJ; 18; she/her; english

— main account; @inej-ruination-ghafa

— wattpad; @cruelladevil11

COMPLETED SERIES...

— Burn It Down - Cassian Andor

— The Outsiders - Luke Castellan

— If I can Dream - Link

ONGOING SERIES...

— Summer Nights - Steve Harrington

— Letterman - EJ Caswell

— Easy Silence - Garth Chapin

COMING SOON...

— Pretty Girl - Derek Morgan

[sankta-starkova]

EASY SILENCE

004; green tea

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Wordcount: 2k

Since the bus attack nearly a month ago, security had been everywhere which meant that it had become a lot harder for any of the Mayday operatives to discuss any plans. That also meant she hadn't spoken to Garth since then.

The conflicted feelings about her newfound feelings were still ruminating in her head and her heart. Maybe it was him saving her life, or maybe it was him declaring she was his best friend. But something had changed.

Whilst all of this chaos with Daisy was going on, Cordelia had bigger fish to fry. This was marriage season and that meant she had to suck up to the Aunts.

The tea party was today and that meant the girls were at the florists, picking out flowers. Her mother had told her which ones to get, what to do to make it perfect.

Naomi was always supposed to be the mother of a girl, she was so organised and helpful and was desperate to have her daughter make the best match possible.

Naomi also knew of her daughters involvement with Gilead, she knew that there was no changing her mind and that she was just like her father - a rebel.

The girls walked with their Martha's towards the school, all of the girls with their periods wearing green cloaks over their usual purple.

"Do you feel different? Being Green?" Hulda asked, almost hesitantly.

"Not really, it's more that you're treated differently," Cordelia explained.

Shunammite smiled, "My mother made me a gown, just in case,"

"You're not supposed to do that," Jehoshaba said, trailing behind the girls and listening to their conversation.

They all ignored her, continuing their walk underneath the bridge. It was so normal to see the bodies hanging from there, which made Daisy stop in nerves.

"Come on, it's okay," Cordelia said, a hand on her shoulder to try and reassure her.

It was always nerve-wracking to see the bodies up there, especially when they were Mayday. It made her wonder if one day she would end up there, hanging for her crimes against Gilead.

They walked back to Agnes' house and the building outside was full of security, all of the guardians making sure that it was safe. After last time, it had to be perfect.

They all looked around her house, noticing all of the gifts on the table from prospective Commanders. The better the gifts, the better the Commander.

"Commander Stevens," Penny read one of the notes, a smile on her face, "He's got you oranges. He is a catch,"

"Oranges are alright but didn't you get guavas and lychees when you were a green," Shunammite bragged, knowing that Penny was the most eligible of all of them.

"They were easier to get then," she said, deflecting off of herself, "So, who do you think will match and who's gonna crash and burn?"

"Beckas doing well, she got lamb chops," Hulda said, "And Cordelia got tenderloin steak,"

"Goodness, I bet Jehosheba's crazy jealous of you two," she said with a laugh, all of them looking over at the other girls by the table.

Becka leaned over, "Penny, have you felt the baby kicking yet?" She asked enthusiastically.

"No, its too early for that," Agnes whispered, almost scolding the girls. With so many sick babies being born, it was careful not to say too much.

"I can't wait. And Michael is even more excited than I am," Penny said.

Cordelia felt herself tense up slightly when she heard the door open, the Guardians coming to search the house. Garth was leading them, he had become one of the most prominent soldiers since everything had happened.

She looked over her shoulder, eyes staring longingly. Absence made the heart grow fonder and her heart was aching for her friend.

"Blessed be the fruit," he said when he saw all the girls standing there.

"Oh Guardian," Penny called out and Garth walked over, "I would like to have the card from Commander Stevens read please,"

Cordelia felt a sinking in her heart. Sometimes she forgot that the other girls couldn't read, that her father had taught her in secret. Sometimes she would catch her eyes scanning words and she would stop herself.

She had lost the skill slightly since he had died; it had been over 5 years now. But then she still had the basics, more than the others did.

Garth nodded, walking over and picking the card up, "Agnes, congratulations on reaching this milestone. God hath blessed you in every respect, I look forward to a dance at the ball,"

The girls all smiled at how kind the message was but they didn't have time to talk as Paula rushed over, telling them that the cars were pulling up.

Everyone started to leave but Daisy knocked a basket off so she would have time to talk to Garth about the plan.

"Clean that up immediately," Paula demanded, looking at the girl like she was scum of the earth. Cordelia bent down to help but was quickly stopped, "Not you girl, come on,"

She stood up, looking back at Daisy and Garth before beginning to walk out. He reached his hand out slightly, finger brushing against her arm before she left with Paula.

"A woman in the florist shop almost got me caught today, she was terrified," Daisy whispered, looking around to make sure nobody could hear, "Is something happening?"

"Lower your voice," he said, "Gilead's retaliating for what happened with the bus. Has Commander Haye's daughter said anything about trips, deliveries,"

"Commander?" Daisy asked, not knowing who that would be. He said it was Shunammite but she didn't care, too focused on the goal ahead, "Those people they hung were Mayday, I have to get the fuck out of here,"

"You knew that it was dangerous when you came in," he responded, looking around for people.

She scoffed, "I assumed you guys had an organised operation. Who do I talk to about getting out of here?"

"If you leave now, we may never have this chance again. We need you to do this, I don't know when you leave," he explained.

Daisy did not like that answer, standing up and putting the basket back on the table before she began to storm off, "Fuck you," she said, her voice a little bit too loud.

"If you find anything useful, they will see it as a return of investment, maybe then you can get out," he said, following her.

"And don't get hung while I do it?" She asked sarcastically, "Oh, and by the way, stop checking out Cordelia so obviously, you are going to get yourselves caught,"

"I don't-" he started to say before she slammed the door.

She rushed outside, seeing all of the girls standing next to their mothers, waiting for the arrival of the Aunts. All of the Aunts card were checked and monitored, they were allowed in.

This tea was important for them all, it wasn't just a tea but it was a way to show the Aunts that they could handle the pressure of running a Commanders household.

"Blessed day our most cherished guests, what an honour it is to welcome you all here today," Paula said, stepping forward and greeting Aunt Lydia.

Cordelia remembered meeting Aunt Lydia when she was younger, when she had dropped off the two Handmaids to her fathers house. She remembered very little of it all, but never forget the way she treated those women.

As they walked inside, she thought about how important all of these women were. Jehoshabas father invented the breeding colonies, Cordelia's father created the economic structure for Gilead. Their fathers were war criminals but Gilead heroes.

"Ladies," Paula called the attention of the room, "Aunt Lydia, will you please do us the honour of the prayer,"

She nodded, all of the women bowing their head, "Heavenly father, we offer bounty and abundance in thanks," she recited the prayer, "lets have some tea,"

All of the women looked around the kitchen, their Marthas prearing them the tea. Naomi fussed over Cordelia, just wanting what was best for her.

She noticed Jehoshaba talking to her Martha, complaining that the tea was the wrong colour before she slammed it out of her hands before she began to cry.

Cordelia shot her an ugly look. There were many things she did for the sake of Gilead, she yelled as men had their arms cut off, she ignored the bodies above her, she pretended she didn't notice the violence but she never accepted the mistreatment of a Martha.

But still, she had to control her face because now was the time for them to all go in and prove they would do this role right.

First the Plums went through, and then the Greens. Cordelia took a deep breath, holding the teapot steady in her hands - it was her mother's, her birth mother's, and hoped it would bring some luck.

They all walked one by one to to their tables where an Aunt was sitting with their mothers. They judged the way that they poured the tea before putting in sugar and milk.

It was mundane, Cordelia carried classified documents to Guardians and helped smuggle Handmaids across the border but all these women cared about was how to make a good tea.

She watched as Naomi took a sip of the tea, a smile on her face as she nodded approvingly.

The next step was to take their teapot and one by one to go to the head table and thank Aunt Lydia. Cordelia's went by easily as one of the first but it was followed up by Myriams disaster as she tripped, spilling some tea.

She began to panic, giving a nervous curtsey to Aunt Lydia before immediately rushing off. She was shaking as she stood next to Agnes and Cordelia couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

As they walked back into the kitchen, she broke down, her breathing shaky, "I can't believe I did that,"

Cordelia walked over, a hand on the girls shoulder, "The Lord waits to be gracious to us, you'll be okay Myriam,"

"Pray, I won't be married off to a man from the Colonies," she said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Whatever happens is in God's plan for you," Shunammite said but they all knew that she had failed the test and would be married off to someone awful.

After she calmed down a little bit, the girls all began to separate into their small groups of friends.

"How do you think you did?" Hulda asked the three eligible girls.

"Well I'm sure you looked better than Myriam," Shunammite said, her face in a grimace as she thought back to the fail from earlier.

Becka turned to her, brows furrowed, "That wasn't her fault," she whispered.

"Girls, back into the parlour," one of Agnes' Martha's said as she walked past.

They walked back into the parlour, her eyes brushing over Garth as he stood in the hallway. They sat down for the Commanders cake.

It was a silly idea, a large sheet cake cut into slices with a bride in one of them. Whichever girl recieved the small porcelain figure was the first to marry.

"Ladies, it is honourable how you have all comforted yourselves today," Aunt Vidala said, walking between the tables, "You have done your mother's proud, and you have done us proud,"

Cordelia looked at Naomi, a smile on her face. She knew how proud she was of her every day, that didn't rely on one tea.

"Now it's time for a Gilead tradition, the Commander's Cake, shall we find out who is lucky?" She said before all of the girls began to take bites of their cake.

Everyone looked over at the sound of the crunch where Agnes had bit down on the bride. She pulled it out along with one of her teeth which had chipped at the bite.

"Is it bad?" Jehoshaba asked, looking over in horror.

Paula grabbed onto Agnes' face, pinching her cheeks together and looking into her mouth, "Of course it is bad,"

Beckas mother leaned over, "It's okay, I shall call my husband and get you sent over there straight away," she promised.

The room fell silent after that, the excitement about the Commandera Cake dimming after the incident. Cordelia couldn't help but wonder if this was a bad omen.

Taglist: @hadesnumber1daughter

[sankta-starkova]

EASY SILENCE

003; daisy

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Warnings: violence

Wordcount: 2.4k

A few days later, Cordelia was still thinking about that moment where Garth had brushed her hair back, the little smile on his face.

"Delia," a voice called out and she looked to the right quickly, seeing Becka standing there, "You coming?"

She was so lost in her daydreams that she had almost forgotten that they were going to see Penny, Mrs Judd now, and see how she ran her household.

"Yeah, sorry," she said, following after the other girls quickly.

"You okay? You seem to have had your head in the cloud the last few days," Becka asked, noticing how since Agnes' initiation, there had been something off.

She nodded, walking towards the bus, "Just wedding planning,"

Becka rolled her eyes, "I wish it would end,"

Cordelia froze when she saw him standing there, her heart pounding in her chest. She had never felt like this around him, he had always been like her best friend but now it seemed something had changed.

She bowed her head slightly in respect as she stepped onto the bus, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks.

When she got on the bus, she decided to sit next to Daisy. After she had found out that Daisy was the girl that Mayday had sent in, she knew that she was going to be special and she needed to make that connection with her.

"So, Toronto, whats that like?" She asked.

She shrugged, "The weather can be nice, but it is just a city full of sin and depravity," she said, keeping up that perfect Pearl Girl facade.

Cordelia nodded, "Whats it like in June?"

Her head tilted in confusion as she looked at the girl, "Excuse me?"

"It's my favourite month," there was a moment of hesitation, "I have friends in low places,"

At the sound of the sentence, Daisys eyes went wide as she realised that this was the girl on the inside, the Commanders daughter who was working for Mayday.

"You?" She questioned, almost in shock.

She couldn't hide the smile on her face as she nodded her head, "Yes," she confirmed, "I am very excited to visit Mrs Judd, she was a great friend of ours last year,"

The change of subject was necessary because if any of the other girls figured it out that something weird was going on then they might go digging.

After that there was silence between them but Daisy kept looking at the girl. Then she looked at Garth and noticed he kept watching Cordelia, his fingers tugging at a small piece of thread, almost like a bracelet, under his jacket sleeve.

"Chapin, something ahead," the bus driver called and Cordelia's head whipped up and she watched as Garth walked towards the front of the bus.

"Whats going on?" Daisy asked.

She just watched closely, brows furrowed as she tried to see in front of her, "I don't know,"

Garth ran to the back of the bus and all of the girls started to panic, whispering amongst themselves and questioning what was going on.

"They're armed, shooters," he said, his hand brushing against her shoulder as he walked past, back to the front of the bus.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she realised that they were under attack. She looked up, making eye contact with Garth and instead of getting reassurance, she noticed the same panicked look in his eyes.

A car swerved in front of them and they were all lunged forward, some girls falling into the aisles, others into their friends and Cordelia face first into the seat in front of her.

"Cordelia!" Agnes yelled out as she watched her friend slump over, a small cut on her forehead which was beginning to seep with blood.

Agnes noticed the way that Garths head spun around at the sound of her name, his eyes searching for her. Then he turned back, realising he had bigger things to deal with.

"We're under attack, we need backup," he called into his comms, his eyes still darting into the back, "Is everyone okay?"

"Our friend has hit her head, badly," Hulda yelled out as she noticed Cordelia in Daisys lap, her head gushing with blood.

The bus was still maneuvering out of there so there was little time to check on her - they had to get out of this attack zone.

Everyone ducked down into the middle as gunshots started to ricochet against the bus. Cordelia was pulled to the floor by Daisy, the girl starting to regain consciousness.

"Garth," she whispered, hand reaching out towards the door. Daisy pulled her back, luckily having been the only one to hear her. It made her wonder what was going on between the two Mayday operatives.

The guardians started to pull the girls and the Aunts off the bus, "get off the bus now,"

"Cordelia can't get up, shes in and out of consciousness," Daisy yelled out.

There was a moment of conflict in his eyes as he had to make the decision of saving the rest of the girls then grabbing Cordelia, or grabbing her first. He had to stick to his role, helping everyone off before seeing Becka and Daisy still in the back.

He ran on, looking at the girl as her eyes fluttered shut again, "Go on girls, I've got her,"

He picked her up, carrying her off of the bus bridal style. Nobody noticed the slight shake in his hands as he looked down at the girl, knowing that she might not be alright.

Garth rushed towards the shop, placing her down on a futon before running back out. He shot Daisy a look, almost telling her to look after her, before he ran back into action.

The girls crowded around her, their focus on the injured girl. Aunt Vidala crawled over, her fingers going to her neck, "She probably just has a concussion, she'll be okay,"

When Cordelia finally came to, she was still feeling very groggy but was sitting up thanks to the help of her friends, "What happened?"

"You hit your head when the bus swerved," Becka explained, "You're lucky Guardian Chapin helped you off,"

She looked at Daisy, her head still spinning but she knew that he had come to her aide, "Well Praise be, and thank you all for looking after me,"

Many other girls were injured, Aunt Vidalas arm was broken, another girl had cut her shoulder open on the glass.

A doctor came in a few minutes later, the car pulling up after all of the operatives had been killed. He checked on everyone, bandaging up Vidala's arm and confirming Cordelia only had a concussion and that the wound would heal fine.

"Do they know who did it?" Daisy asked.

Shunammite rolled her eyes like it was obvious, "Mayday, of course,"

"They're the terrible people we're enemies with," Becka explained, "They hate us,"

Cordelia felt a sharp pain in her chest, because Mayday didn't hate the girls, the goal was to rescue them and save them from this world that they were all trapped in.

When the bus arrived back at the Aunt Lydia School, Cordelia was greeted by her stepmother storming over towards the bus.

Naomi was her stepmother but she had taken her in when her father died even when she didn't have to. She was like a second mother to her, she was family.

"Cordelia Violet Lawrence!" The voice screeched out loudly and Cordelia flinched

"Oh no, it's my mother," she buried her head by her knees, trying to hide from her but she knew that she wouldn't het far.

She stepped off of the bus, a fake smile on her face as her mother rushed over, pulling her in for a hug.

"Are you alright?" She asked, hands on her shoulders as she checked her over. She stared at the wound in her head, a sad look on her face.

"I am mother, don't worry," she hid away from her mothers overbearing actions, looking around at all the unwanted attention she was getting from the other girls.

"I am worried, worried sick, so was Commander Graham," Naomi said.

"It's just a concussion, I will have to have some time off of school but that's all," she explained.

She nodded, "Well, what about this cut, we can't have your face scarred,"

"They said it would heal, don't worry," Cordelia walked to the car with her, her head spinning at the thought of the ordeal of today.

One week later, they were going back to Penny's house. This bus journey went a lot smoother but Cordelia couldn't help the fear that was in her chest at the thought of being attacked again.

When they stood outside of her house, listening to the helicopters circling around above them, it reminded her of what she was fighting for.

Her hand reached up, brushing softly against the cut on her forehead that was going away slowly. But it was a reminder of what had happened.

When she looked up and spotted Garth at the door, she couldn't help but shoot him a small smile. Despite protocol, he smiled back, a bit too toothy and a bit too enthusiastically.

Agnes watched the entire interaction and she knew something was wrong. She nudged her friend in the shoulder, shooting her a look that told her that what she was doing was wrong.

"Girls, attention please," Aunt Vidala said as she looked at the two girls in the front, "Remember, we are Mrs Judd's guests,"

Aunt Vidala knocked on the door with her good hand; her other hand was still strapped to her chest after she broke it in the accident, which had made her a lot grumpier than usual.

The door was opened by a Martha and they were greeted by a smiling Penny at the door. They all hugged her, showing her their gifts.

Cordelia remembered Penny was one of her first friends when she moved to Colarado, 6 months older than her and she had always seemed so poised. Now here she was, the first to be married.

"I can't believe what you've all been through," she said, the door closing behind them, "These gifts, they're all too much. Thank you,"

The house was beautiful, a ginormous house built for only one of the highest ranked commanders in all of Gilead. She was lucky to have married him.

"Can I show you around?" Penny asked with an excited look in her eyes, "I love the way the house came together, let me show you it all,"

They walked around the house, the giant kitchen, the beautiful spiral staircase, his wine cellar. She showed them the room where the nursery would be, pausing for a moment.

"I've been feeling ill the past few morning, it's in God's hands but I pray its a sign," she said.

There were gasps from the girls and as they walked out of the room, Cordelia wondered what it would be like one day when she was in this position.

They sat down for lunch after the tour, all holding hands as they said a prayer, "You're house is beautiful Penny," Agnes said.

"I imagine it's a lot to handle, being a new wife," Becka said, an almost scared look on her face.

"Some days," she admitted, "But God only send us what we can bear,"

"Well I could bear this," Shunammite said, the rest of the girls laughing in response.

Footsteps echoed through the hallway and all of the girls turned to see Commander Judd, one of the slightly younger and more attractive commanders, walk through.

"Don't mind me, I'm just passing through," he said as he stopped at the head of the table. He walked around, kissing his wife before standing up, "Welcome to our home,"

"Thank you for having us, Commander, sir," Shunammite said.

"You all showed the world some Gilead grit last week, during the attack," he said.

Cordelia felt herself reaching up for the wound on her forehead. It was healing but still hurt sometimes, causing her to get headaches. There was no grit that day, just girls being attacked.

"I just hope you know that they're just jealous. Because we have clean water, fresh air and fruitful young women and they have pollution and hate. We love and take in God's children," he circled the table until he got to Daisy.

There was something weird about this interaction and Cordelia watched closely as he stopped at the head of the table again, looking at the Pearl Girl.

"I dont want to put you on the spot, but I was just wondering why you chose to come to Gilead," he questioned.

"To serve God's will," she said, eyes narrowed, "And there was nothing left for me,"

He was silent for a moment before smiling, "You have a new home now. Praise be," he said before walking out of the room.

As the evening came to a close, Aunt Vidala noticed that Cordelia kept touching her forehead, "Are you alright?"

"Just a little light headed still, do you mind if I go get some air?" She asked, feigning innocence.

The Aunt nodded just as Daisy rushed over, "I will accompany her,"

They stepped outside, the door closing behind them and Daisy looked at the other girl, "You know Garth?" She asked.

"Very well, so let's be careful," Cordelia said as they walked over to him.

"Was that us?" Daisy asked as she did the opposite of what she just said, storming over towards him, "was that Mayday?"

"Thats what Gilead's saying," he explained.

"You're not going to hurt those girls," Daisy questioned.

"The girls were never supposed to get hurt," Garth said, stepping towards his friend, "Are you okay Delia?"

"I'm fine, really, just a little lightheaded sometimes," she said, trying not to let the blush on her cheeks become obvious to Daisy, "That was sloppy Garth, you know that. Its never been that bad,"

Then the other girls came out, Daisy and Cordelia taking a step away from him, pretending that they were getting on the bus.

Daisy shot her a look, confused as to why this was going so poorly, why they were running such a bad operation here.

"I want to see June," she whispered.

Cordelia tensed up at the sound of her name, of her heroes name, "I can't do that," she said, "Just don't let the bastards grind you down,"

Taglist: @hadesnumber1daughter

[sankta-starkova]

EASY SILENCE

002; perfect teeth

previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

Wordcount: 1.6k

The next day at school, Cordelia was in the music room, practicing the harp when she heard the bell ring. She looked at Becka and the two of them knew what that meant.

Aunt Estee commanded everyone to come outside and the girls all rushed out. Cordelia couldn't help but smile, knowing there were more people in the season now.

They rushed onto the lawn, waiting by the stands when they saw Agnes approach and walk along the pathway. People called out their cheers and the four girls just smiles for their friend.

Agnes had a massive smile on her face as she knelt in front of Aunt Vidala, reciting the pledge to her, "By his hand, he will make me fruitful,"

Aunt Vidala pinned the green pin against her jacket pocket, a smile on her face. They all clapped, Shunammite excited that this was happening.

They ate lunch like normal, but Hulda kept asking creepy questions, way too invested in their friends period. Becka and Cordelia shared a confused look but ignored it.

"Green means more work, and dancing in public and Agnes hates dancing in public," Shunammite said.

"Shut up Shu," Becka spat out, clearly irritated by something. She pushed food around on her plate, not in a very good mood.

Agnes just smiled, "I'm sure you'll be next Shu," she promised, "Beck, I can ask Paula to come to your house to say, tell her its about Green stuff,"

Before she could respond, Aunt Estee called the table to stand up and go help a Pearl Girl who needed corrections.

There was an unnerving feeling in her stomach as she walked into the Aunts Wing. When she stepped into the room, she saw the Pearl Girl, Daisy, who had sat with them the day before. She was sitting in a chair in the centre of the room.

She took a deep breath, knowing what was going to happen, "What did she do?" Cordelia asked quietly.

"I don't know," Agnes muttered in shock.

They sat down on the seats. They were supposed to sit up straight, look at the floor, act meak, but Cordelia couldn't take her eyes off of the frightened girl with a mask around her mouth.

"This young woman made a confession this morning, she has admitted to using the Lords name in vain," Aunt Vidala said.

She walked around the circle for a moment before stopping at Agnes, crouching down so that she was next to the shaking girl.

"Aunt Lydia trusted you to guide this girl as if she was your own child,"

Agnes' voice was shaky, "I'm sorry Aunt Vidala,"

She stood up and walked around the circle, "You have been blessed with womanhood today, is that a challenge you are ready for?" She asked and the girl nodded enthusiastically, "Then show me, teach the lamb. What must she do?"

Agnes walked towards Daisy so she was staring the girl in the face, watching the tears welling up in her eyes, "She must pay for her sins Aunt Vidala,"

The girls, who sat in a circle around her, pointed their fingers at Daisy, chanting, "Pay for her sins! Pay for her sins!"

"Tell her what she is Agnes," Vidala said as she walked around the circle, stalking the girls like they were her prey, "Dirty words come from what?"

"A dirty girl," the words seemed hesitant coming out of her mouth but it was what she had to say.

Daisy whimpered as the mask was taken from her mouth and she looked around the room, listening to them chanting and yelling at her.

"You come from the streets of Sodom, you are a child of sinners and whores," Aunt Vidala said.

Daisy whipped her head around, the tears brimming in her eyes as she pointed at Agnes, "She was there and she heard my blasphemy. I swear to God,"

There was silence in the room. Cordelia looked at her friend, a sinking in her stomach as she realised what would happen to her as well. All of the girls seemed hesitant.

Vidala pulled Agnes up, taking her and Daisy into another room and they were just sent back to what they were used to. Back to their classes and their teachings as if nothing happened.

When Cordelia saw the lights flashing in a specific sequence, she knew that was the call to find Garth and talk to him about Mayday.

She rushed out of the bathroom whilst everyone else was talking and stepped outside of the building, hidden slightlt behind a bush. She knew it was a safe spot because they had been meeting here ever since she moved to the school 4 years ago.

"Blessed Day, Guardian Chapin," she said, looking around just in case anyone was there.

"Blessed Day, Miss Lawrence," he responded.

Cordelia looked over her shoulder before turning back to him, "So, you gonna finally tell me why I have to sneak around like this?"

"You like sneaking around," he teased.

She rolled her eyes, "I was hoping you would tell me who this new informant was," she said, having been waiting to hear about it for the last few days.

"I know, but first," he said, reaching into his jacket.

He pulled a Polaroid picture out of his pocket that had been smuggled into the country. He handed it to her and she smiled at the update.

It was a picture of her little sister Charlotte who had grown so much and her real mother Janine. She had grown up with the little girl for only two years when Naomi married her father but she had become so attached to the girl.

She brushes her thumb over her face, tears welling up in her eyes "My baby girl," she muttered to herself before looking up at him, "Thank you Garth, my mother is going to love this,"

"For you Delia, anything," he said, thumb swiping the one tear that had fallen from her tears away.

His hand stayed there for a moment and he moved his hand to brush a loose strand of hair behind her ears. This was not allowed in Gilead, the kind of touch he was giving her.

Cordelia stared at him, her eyes wide as she realised what he was doing. He pulled his hand away from her face, not understanding why he had just done that - men would get their arms cut off for less.

"So, who is the informant?" Cordelia asked, licking her lips nervously as she tried to change the subject.

"Oh," Garth said, forgetting that was why they had met up. There was a soft blush that had spread on his cheeks after his actions, "Its Daisy,"

"The Pearl Girl?" Her eyes went wide as she realised that the girl they had just punished was their informant, "She just got sent to corrections today,"

"I know, and thats why I'm telling you now. You need to keep her in line," he explained, rolling his eyes at this girls incompetence. He was her handler and that meant he was responsible for her.

"Okay, but how will she know its me?" She asked.

"You tell her that you have friends in low places," he explained what the code word was and Cordelia laughed before she covered her face to stop herself.

"What a silly phrase," she muttered.

"Just say it, okay," he said, brows raised as if he were trying to parent her. All he wanted was her to he okay, "And keep yourself safe Delia,"

Her breath hitched at the way he said her name, the way he always called her that nickname that her mother used to call her when she was a little girl, before Gilead made her sick.

"Why'd you call me that?" She asked, brows furrowed. Nicknames were not normal in Gilead but he always called her that. 

He looked at her confused, "What?" He had always called her Delia, since they were about eight years old in her dad's library.

"You call me that like I'm your friend," there was an insecurity in her chest as she wondered whether he was just her friend because of Mayday if it were a genuine friendship.

"You are my friend," he said, an almost sad smile on his face.

She shook her head, "Guardians and Plums are not supposed to be friends,"

It was hard sometimes to be part of Mayday but also have to be a part of Gilead society where the two things are so different. It was difficult sometimes to live a double life.

"I've been your friend since Gilead began, since my dad and your dad would go to meetings together and my mother would let us have playdates," he said.

Cordelia smiled, a small blush coming to her cheeks as she thought about their friendship over the years and how he was a genuine friend.

He looked at her, an emotion in his eyes that she had never seen before, "You're probably my only real friend,"

"Garth," she muttered, heart pounding in her chest.

"Im serious, you are the only one who knows every side of me," Garth said, taking a shaky breath before looking around.

"You're probably my best friend too," she admitted, her voice quiet as if she was nervous saying it out loud.

There was a sound outside and they knew that they didn't have much time before they were seen and caught.

He looked around, almost nervous, "You should go, I'll see you around Delia," There was an inflection on the nickname, almost as if he were emphasising it so she knew he was telling the truth.

Cordelia ran back to her class, her heart pounding in her chest as she thought about what he had just said and what had just happened. This had changed everything

A/N: thanks for all of the support I have recieved for this series so far! If people would like to be added to a taglist so they can get reminders when new chapters come out, then I'm happy to do that

[sankta-starkova]

EASY SILENCE

001; precious flowers

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Warning: gore, torture

Wordcount: 1.3k

Cordelia stood at the steps with the other plums, shoulders back, head held high. She was too self-assured, at least that was what her mother always told her.

Her mother was a stoic woman, always with a sad look on her face when she mentioned her other daughter who had been taken away to Canada. Cordelia had chosen to stay five years ago, a promise she had made to her father.

As she looked up, she caught sight of the bodies hanging from the ropes in front of the building. A crow cawwed as it started to peck at one of the men's heads.

"Gross," Hulda muttered, her brows furrowed.

"Hulda, enough!" Aunt Vidala turned around and chastised the girl, "God's justice is beautiful. Friends, these men, do you know what crime they committed,"

Shunammite held her hand up and stepped forward when Aunt Vidala called her name, "Rape, the red cross is for rape,"

"Praise be," she said, pointing up at the men, "These horrible men, it's a ghastly story. They stole a young girl just like yourselves, one who liked being the centre of attention, a spirited girl. She often earns a violent end for herself. Praise be His judgement,"

The girls echoes the response, muttering a Praise be. Cordelia looked at the men, wondering what that poor girl actually did to deserve this.

"These men saw this girl and were overcome by their urges. They came in the night and took her from her own bed. The urges of men must be curbed and that is the burden that God has personally laid upon each of you," Vidala explained.

It was a horrible idea that just by existing, the girls were dangerous to good men. Cordelias father always reminded her that there were very few good men.

When they got back on the bus, the men checked the vehicle to make sure it was all safe before opening the gates to the school.

The Aunt Lydia School was a grand building, with pink little girls running about and plum girls following.

She spotted Becka in the distance, talking to Agnes. Both Cordelia and Becka were greens which meant that they had been blessed with getting their period, a term that Cordelia's stepmother always laughed at, questioning why they called years of suffering a blessing.

Becka had hers for weeks whereas Cordelia was new to being a green, not having had any fittings for the balls or even discussions of which commander she could marry.

It had been four years since the war in Massachusets which Cordelia and her stepmother had fled from and since then, the purges had happened. Aunt Lydia was hailed a hero but Cordelia would never forget her.

Aunt Lydia knew who she was, who her father was and what he did but when her stepmother remarried a very rich man, she had promised to keep it hidden from the other girls, in order to keep her little sister safe.

As they walked into the room, they strolled past the Pearl Girls who chanted and recited the word of the Bible. They were girls who had fled their countries to join Gilead.

The issue with Pearl Girls is they were not to be trusted, everyone knew someone who had been ratted out by a Pearl Girl.

The first class of the day was loom work, then needlepoint which was Cordelias favourite if she had to be honest.

But her favourite thing was to read. Her father had taught her to read when she was little, always telling her these stories such as Paradise Lost and Dickens.

She wasn't allowed to read anymore, her days spent sewing and learning to cook and to run a household.

When lunch came, they recieved the news that Agnes was to be placed with a Pearl Girl who would be shadowing her. There was a nervous energy over the table, none of them trusting her.

The table was silent until Shunammite spoke up, "What is all of this then?"

"This is Daisy, Aunt Lydia asked me to make her feel welcome," she explained but there was still silence at the table.

"Daisy, pray, where do you hail from?" Shunammite asked.

"Toronto, Canada,"

Cordelia tilted her head to the side, wondering if this is who she had been tols about, "I imagine Canada's very different from Gilead,"

"Toronto has been defiled by Satan, it is suffocating in sin," Daisy said, almost spiting the words out, "I pray it will be swallowed whole by the Earth,"

"May He hear your prayer," Hulda said hesitantly, "Let me get you an ice cream,"

As Hulda and Daisy walked away, it left Shunammite to finally share her upset about everything that was going on, "They stuck you with a Pearl Girl, what did you do wrong?"

"She didn't do anything," Becka immediately defended her.

"She said shes new here, and I'm supposed to look after her," She explained, "I don't know why,"

"Cordelia, your Martha is here to collect you for a dress fitting," Aunt Estee called out.

There was silence for a moment as she realised that this was really true, she was to be getting married, "This is all happening so fast,"

"I wish we were all Greens," Shunammite said, "I cannot wait to have a husband,"

When Cordelias name was called again, she left the room, following Aunt Estee. She caught sight of one of the guardians standing at the car and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him.

She saw her Martha, Jolene, and her Guardian and walked towards the car. As she got in, she turned her head around and looked at the man one more time before stepping into the car.

The next day, Cordelia arrives just as the bell rang and all of the girls headed off towards the assembly room. There was something big happening.

They hung their coats up before heading inside, putting their headbands on. They stood at the top of the dining hall, observing the scene in front of them and thats when she saw the table.

"We have some difficult work to do today, for Him," Aunt Estee said, plugging the machine in. She ushered people in and two men walked in, dragging one of the guardians forward, "This man was found touching himself, abusing himself, on school grounds,"

The woman was tearing up as she watched the man get strapped onto the machine, a gag in his mouth and his arm tied to the table.

"Gilead trusted him to protect you, instead, he chose wickedness," she explained.

"What are they going to do with him?" Daisy turned towards Cordelia, confused at what was goung on.

There were murmurs coming from the group, all of the Plums curious as to why they were to be involved.

"You are not blameless girl, shame on any of you who tempt a man. You will have to make many difficult decisions as wives, so what do you say girls? Should this man go unpunished or should he pay?"

The man began to beg for his freedom, pleading with the girls above him to set him free but then they started screaming.

Cordelia screamed out to punish him, that a man like that should suffer. It was almost like a sport as they watched the saw come out of the machine.

"I am so proud of the women you are becoming!" Aunt Estee announced.

The table saw whirred as it headed towards him, cutting off his hand as he looked up at the girls.

Daisy looked sick as she heard the bones crunching. She ran off, Agnes chasing after her and there was a moment where Cordelia wondered what she had become, what she had become by cheering on this man's injury.

There was always something strange about watching one of these, watching one of the Guardians be punished for sin.

Sometimes, Cordelia got too involved with it, yelling and screaming until her voice was raw and other days she felt a strange guilt in the pit of her stomach.

This was Gilead, and all Gilead stood for. Perhaps one day, she would be able to change it but for now, all she had to do was scream.

[sankta-starkova]

SEASON ONE

— where cordelia realises her feelings for her best friend at the same time as a new operative joins, turning their whole world upside down

001; precious flowers

002; perfect teeth

003; daisy

004; green tea

005; clandestine meetings

006; the ball

007; secrets

008; stadium

009; commitment

010; broken

[sankta-starkova]

𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 • 𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐧

Warning: all horrible Gilead related feats, mentions of sexual violence, murder, torture, abuse, misogyny, lack of women's freedom, sexual themes

Pairing: Garth Chapin x fem!OC

Summary: a tale between two Mayday operatives, one a daughter of a High Commander and the other a Guardian

Word Count: N/A

A/N: all characters will be aged up to 18 to make it all more normal, and not creepy and illegal

SEASON ONE

— where cordelia realises her feelings for her best friend at the same time as a new operative joins, turning their whole world upside down

SEASON TWO

— coming soon

CAST

𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄....mckenna grace

𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐈𝐍....brad alexander

𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐖....lucy halliday

𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐈𝐄....chase infiniti

𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐀 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐄....mattea conforti

𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐒....rowan blanchard

𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓 𝐋𝐘𝐃𝐈𝐀....ann dowd

𝐍𝐀𝐎𝐌𝐈 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐌....ever carradine

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

018; exodus

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Wordcount: 2.5k

When the train arrived, Aubrey was asleep. She had barely slept the last few days when they were travelling. Maybe her body knew that she was getting closer to Link and she could rest.

She was woken up by a nudge on her shoulder and rubbed her eyes, looking up to see Xavier holding her baby in his arms, "We're here,"

As she took Grace from his arms and stepped off of the train, she shielded her eyes at the sunlight and looked around. There were so many people here waiting to restart the world and she felt a swell of pride as she thought that this was what Link had built.

"Word is, Link's about to move on the bunker," Teri explained.

Aubrey took a deep breath, looking out at all of the people. She wished to fight but knew what she had to do, "I can't go to the front lines,"

"Its been 2 weeks now, you not feeling up for it," Xavier asked, having already assumed she wouldnt come. He didn't want her to get hurt.

She shook her head, "I thought I would, but uh, I can't do it. And it will be days maybe, and someone needs to feed Gracie,"

"Okay, we will find Link and tell him," he promised. Xavier looked around at everyone, almost shocked at how many people survived, "I didn't realise you guys ran such a big operation,"

"I'm very modest," she joked with a shrug.

They walked around the corner and Teri gasped when she saw how many people were there and all of the weapons that they had in case they needed them.

"You have tanks," she said in shock.

"Depleted Uranium shells, we're not messing around," Dakota said as she stepped off of the train, standing with them.

"I'm making a run for the kids, we don't know how this will go," Xavier explained, turning to his wife.

Dakota looked over at Aubrey, watching her bounce her baby up and down,"You, Bean and the baby gonna stay with me at base camp?"

"Yeah, we will look after anyone who comes back, monitor the situation from afar," she suggested. 

They began to walk to the cars, everyone was starting to pull away from base because at noon, they were going to go into the bunker.

"Find him for me, if you can," Aubrey called out as she watched  Xavier leave. He turned back and nodded, this was a promise he was not going to break.

She looked down at her daughter. This was going to be the day that changed everything. This evening, theoretically, Link would come back and they would all reunite.

"I can't believe Link is a daddy now," Dakota joked, looking down at the baby.

"I know, it's crazy," she said, looking down at her "He's gonna go mad when he sees her, shes so beautiful,"

When the cars arrived at noon, they were all prepared to break it down. Link had all of his weapons but the issue was, before any of them could knock down the walls, the doors opened by themselves.

Before they had any time to be confused, they knew that this was their moment to get inside. Xavier watched as a man at the front blew a whistle, all of the cars driving through.

Teri and Xavier knew they would find the kids easier if they were on foot, running through the crowds in the bunker. Teri looked around in awe at everything, at the town that had been built inside the bunker.

She wandered through their family house in awe, tears welling up in her eyes as she realised how much she missed. When they realised Presley and James weren't there, they ran back into town.

Teri stood at the gazebo when she spotted her son in the distance, calling his name and running over to him. She wrapped him up in a hug, holding him tight.

"Where's your sister?" Xavier asked as he ran over.

"I dont know. She called but her phones not working. Shes stuck in an elevator in the systems level," he explained.

Xavier nodded, knowing he had to go find her, "Take James and get out. I will go find her,"

He watched his wife and son run to safety and rushed towards the control tower. He kicked the door down, looking at Sinatra sitting all by herself at the desk.

"Xavier," she stated in shock, not expecting to see him.

"My daughters stuck in an elevator somewhere in the systems level wherever the fuck that is, I know you have this whole place wired so find her," he said, holding his gun at her in case she disagreed.

Samantha didn't fight. She just began to scan the screens, looking at the systems level and she gasped when she saw the elevator she was in. Because she was with her daughter as well.

“Where are they?” Xavier asked.

She jumped out of her chair, “Near the reactors,” she said, “I’ll show you the way,”

Xavier scoffed, “No way,”

“You need access, that band will not work,” She explained and once Xavier threatened her to cut it off, she explained that it would not work if it had been cut.

At this moment it didn’t matter what happened, he just had to make sure Presley was safe.

“You slow me down for a second and I’ll cut your arm off,” he said and she nodded enthusiastically the two running towards the service tunnels.

Samantha rushed out of the elevator to go find their children and Xavier rushed after her down the corridor. When they reached the end of the hallway, they could hear a banging noise coming from one of the elevators.

Sinatra and Xavier shared a look before they rushed towards the wall that was covering the elevator. Sinatra tried to scan her wristband on the door but it kept flashing red - the reactor failing must have damaged the system and stopped them from getting in.

“Help me,” Xavier called out as he started to pry at the front door. She reached down under the wall and started to pull it up. Her arms were shaking as the two of them helped to hold the wall up.

With one hand, Xavier tried to pull the secondary doors to the actual elevator open but it only went a small way. They could see Presley on the inside of the elevator next to Hadley, Samanthas daughter, and they seemed okay.

Just as they thought that the doors could be forced open, all of the lights cut out again and there was a loud spark. They heard the elevator start to drop and they were all forced backwards, having to drop the elevator doors.

The elevator started to fall down and when Xavier opened his eyes he noticed that the doors had closed again. He scrambled back up and started pulling the door open again.

Samantha followed quickly, helping to hold the door open but when it opened, they noticed that the elevator had dropped significantly and that it would be harder for the girls to get up.

“You’re gonna have to go through the top,” Xavier called out, looking at the hatch on the roof of the elevator.

They could hear the two girls speaking inside, a few banging noises occurring inside before the hatch opened. Hadleys head popped out of the hatch and she let out a sigh of relief knowing that they were okay in there. .

“I can’t get up,” Hadley called out in distress.

Xavier nodded, he knew that he could go and grab them, “I’m gonna get her,” he said but as soon as he let go of the door, Sinatra started to crumble under the weight of the door.

“I can’t hold the door,” Sinatra called out, panic in her voice at the thought of not being able to get her daughter to safety.

They heard some voices behind them and before they could do anything, two men were holding up the elevator doors for them.

"I'm going in," Xavier jumped down into the elevator, listening to it shake.

He got down into the main elevator and boosted Hadley up, watching as she was helped to safety. He hugged his daughter before helping her out again.

However, there was a surge of energy and the elevator dropped again. He climbed out of the top and realise he would have to jump to get back to the platform.

He jumped and a man grabbed his hand. He pulled him up and when he looked at him, he realised exactly who it was.

"Lets go," Gator said, ushering the kids and the rest of his team out, leaving Link, Xavier and Samantha in the hallway.

Link stood at the door, not letting anyone leave. He had a gun pointed at Sinatra, an angry look on his face.

"Wheres Alex?" He demanded, brows furrowed.

"It's working, Alex is already working," she said, laughing to herself because he was proof it worked, "Dylan, you're my son. It's complicated but you are,"

He shook his head, almost like he was in a state of shock. He held the gun steady, pointing it at her.

"Take me to Alex," he said forcefully.

She shook her head, "She is closed off,"

Before Link could do anything rash, Xavier stepped in front of the gun, locking eyes with Link. All of a sudden, his head began to hurt and he watched Link stumble back, his nose bleeding.

"What is this!" He yelled.

"I dont know, but I know Aubrey," he said, holding his hands up. He watched Links face relax slightly at the sound of her name, "She is here on the train with Dakota,"

"No, no way," he said, the gun shaking in his hands.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a Polaroid that Gary had taken for them. It was of Xavier standing behind Aubrey who was holding a baby in her arms.

"Shes had your baby, look. You have a baby girl, I can take you to her. But we have to get out of her now," he said.

He realised as he looked at the photo that this was all he had been fighting for. He had to get back to Aubrey if she was out there, he had to make this place safe for her and their baby.

As they ran back to the truck, he cursed himself for being so blinded by everything.

"When this thing explodes it will spray radiation out of those doors like a cannon," Link said, "Aubrey is out there boys, with my baby, we can't let that happen,"

"The doors were built to withstand a nuclear blast from the outside which means they should be able to contain it from the inside. Take us to the tower, I can close it up," Samamtha suggested.

The drive there was quick, everyone speeding to get out of here and get it sorted as quickly as possible. Xavier and Sinatra jumped out of the truck.

She walked to the front of the truck, placing her hand on his face, "See you soon Dylan, everything gonna be okay. Look after my granddaughter for me,"

She ran off and Link watched in shock. He didn't know if he believed what she was saying but he knew he had to make sure his daughter was safe.

He turned to look at Presley, "Whats your dad's name?"

"Xavier, X," she said

"Xavier! X! Where's Aubrey? Where's my daughter?" He called out of the truck.

He yelled back, "Shes in the tents by the train, she's waiting for you,"

"Thank you, thank you so much," he said, his head in his hands as they drove off. He had to get to them.

Aubrey was at the top of the road as the sun set. She had watched the mountain explode and knew that something was wrong so when she saw people heading towards them, she knew she had to do something to help.

She left Grace and Bean with Dakota as her and many other volunteers grabbed medical kits and ran to the top of the road.

"This way, we have food and medicine and supplies. Are there any seriously injured people?" She said as she approached the front of the group.

She helped many people back to the tents and when she went back to the top of the road, that was when she spotted a man in the distance.

"Dylan!" She yelled out and before she could even take a breath, she was running down the hill into his arms.

"Aubrey!" He exclaimed as he grabbed onto her, pulling her into a tight hug and spinning her around. He buried his head into her neck, "I love you, I love you so much,"

"I had our babygirl," she said, pulling away and looking at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I know, Xavier told me," he said and she smiled, knowing that he was safe.

She smiled, "Come meet her,"

They walked up the hill towards the tents and that was when she spotted Dakota standing there, a wide smile on her face.

Aubrey rushed over, taking the baby from her arms, thanking her for looking after her. She turned to Link who had tears in his eyes.

They went and sat down inside of the tent and she handed the baby girl to him. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he looked at her, her little hand wrapping around his finger.

"Her name is Grace Annie Marie Redmond," she said.

"It's beautiful, she is so beautiful," he said, wiping a tear from his cheek.

Link was upset that he didn't get to support her during her pregnancy but he understood her decision. Just holding their baby in his arms made it all worth it.

"Annie died," Aubrey explained, a tear rolling down her cheek, "She got bit by a snake, I couldn't believe it. She delivered our baby,"

"How old is she?" He asked.

"About 2 and a half weeks," she said and he looked at her in shock

"Come on, you stay here and rest, I will help everyone," he said, handing the baby back to her as he realised she was freshly postpartum.

In the evening, after everyone had been fed dinner, Xavier entered the tent and looked at Link and Aubrey sitting together, watching their baby.

"Look at this happy family," Xavier said as he came in.

"She looks just like her mother," Link said.

Xavier laughed, "She certainly does,"

Link stood up, walking towards the man and holding his hand out, "Thank you, thank you so much for looking after my girls,"

Xavier shook his hand, a wide smile on his face, "Any time, they're my family now. And so are you Link,"

Aubrey smiled, looking at this family that she had gained. She had escaped the worst place and she had found all of this, a husband, a child, a father figure, a best friend. She had everything she needed.

A/N - thanks for everyone who read this fanfiction in a very niche corner of the Internet. Every read and vote has meant the world, until next season!!

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

017: the final countdown

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Wordcount: 1.8k

When Xavier ran to the train with the bomb, Gary finally turned against him, showing his true colours. The bomb went off too early to alarm them of Xaviers position and they all swarmed on him.

A woman ran through the smoke, "Thats my husband, let me through," she yelled.

When Xavier saw her, he started to fight off the men who were trying to apprehend him so that he could get to her.

"I dont want to hurt anyone, thats my wife. I came a long way to find her and I need to know if shes okay," he said and they let her go.

She ran over to him, wrapping him in a hug, "Where are the kids?" She asked.

"Where I came from," he replied

"Colarado bunker?" A woman stepped forward, she must have been the leader of the group.

"Xavier, theyre friends. You can put the gun down," Teri promised, "The train is going to Colarado, we can go with them,"

He put the gun down, helping the men up that he had pushed over earlier, "I didn't want to hurt anyone, the mailman said Teri was in danger,"

When he explained everything to Dakota, she explained that they were leaving tomorrow and that if he wanted to, he could come with them.

"I gotta go get my friend and her baby. Her fiance is in Colarado also trying to break in, Link," he explained.

Dakotas eyes went wide, "You are with Aubrey?" She asked.

"Yeah, you know her?" He questioned, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Very good friends. Any friend of Birdie is a friend of mine, thank you for all your cooperation," she said, shaking his hand, "Now go bring her back and we will be on our way,"

In Colorado, Link walled up to the open doors and finally stepped inside of the bunker. He looked around for a second before his eyes landed on the woman in front of him.

"Samantha Redmond, I thought it would be President Bradford," he said.

"Cal Bradford is dead," she stated very bluntly and the team all looked at one another, wondering what could have happened, "We have your requested item,"

A man next to her hands her a box and she opened it, revealing a slice of apple pie.

Link took the box and the fork, staring at it for a second in awe before showing the rest of the group.

"Fresh apple, flaky crust," Geiger said.

The men all muttered to themselves about the pie, before Samantha cleared her throat, "You wanna talk about pie?" She asked, almost annoyed.

The men looked at one another and laughed, seeing how stupid she was for not realising why they wanted it. Link took a bite, humming to himself at how good it tasted.

"Is that Air Force One?" He asked, pointing at the plane behind her, "Lets do it on there,"

Samantha looked around at all of the people behind her and she nodded, allowing the two of them to walk up to the plane together.

They were silent until they got into the main lounge. Link looked around in awe, hand brushing over the walls.

"Wow, this is like Star Wars, all the people and troops. Pomp and Circumstance," he said, "It all comes down to Luke and Vader in the end,"

He sat down in the booth away from her, taking another bite of the pie. He thought of Aubrey for a second, wondering what she would think of all of this.

"How old are you?" She asked, breaking the silence.

"I'm trying not to take it personally, people keep asking me that. I'm 26," he said.

She nodded, shocked at how young he was for all the power that he seemed to hold, "How many people are with you? Are depending on you?"

"We're spread over a lot of branches, but all in all, 10k," he explained.

"Thats a lot of mouths to feed," she said, eyes wide with shock. There were a lot of people alive out there.

"And clothe, and keep from killing each other. Do you have these moment where you have no idea what to do but everyone is looking at you like you know the answer?" He questioned.

"I've had a few of those, yes. They need to believe you have a plan. They can disagree with you but never doubt you,"

They sat in silence for a second, both of them understanding the weight of pressure and responsibility when it came to this job.

"We should probably get to it. Come join me on the dark side," she offered. He nodded, laughing at her joke as he came and sat in the armchair opposite her.

"We can tell you are running this bunker on 3-5 modular nuclear reactors. We want one," he said, admitting what he came here for.

"What are you going to do with a nuclear reactor?" She said, scoffing at the idea.

"Restart the world," he shrugged his shoulders, almost as if it was the easiest suggestion every.

Samantha shook her head, "I admire your ambition, but this isn't some five-star resort with reactors reactors spare,"

He pushed the apple pie around with his fork, "Fresh apples, meaning greenhouses, grow lights, irrigation. Theres a flaky crust so you have butter, or butter alternative. Meaning refrigeration,"

Samantha sat there for a moment, thinking about how easily he had analysed the bunker from just a simple pie. Clearly he was smarter than they all thought.

"What do you really want?" She asked.

"One of your reactors," he said, like it was the simplest thing.

"No, if you know this much about what we have and how we operate, you know we wouldn't let you take something like that. So what do you really want?" She emphasised.

He smiled, knowing that they had all figured it out. He leaned forward, looking at her, "I'm here for Alex,"

Samanthas face fell instantly as she realise that he knew about Alex. Then she composed herself, taking a deep breath.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she stated with a shrug.

"I think you do. Where is Alex?" He questioned.

"I think we have reached an impasse," she stood up, signaling that their conversation was over.

He shrugged and stood up, the two of them walking out of the plane and back towards their groups in complete silence.

"This bunker was built to sustain a nuclear blast. You will not get in, you will only get yourself or your team hurt. Please forget about this and move on," Samantha emphasised.

"Lady, you're not quite getting it. We will come in, we will find Alex and we will end this. I have people relying on me," his happy demeanour had changed to that of a leader.

Link looked at this woman and he thought of Aubrey, about his family and about all that he was doing this for. It had to succeed because of her.

"Well I will do everything in my power to protect her, I wont let you destroy what I have built," she said.

That was what bothered him the most as he thought about him and his mentor building Alex together. He knew she had done nothing but funded this.

"Built?" He scoffed, anger bubbling up inside of him as he stepped towards her, getting in her face, "You haven't built anything, you've bribed and stolen and killed,"

There was no point in fighting this now and Geiger knew that this would just cause more problems if he were to intimidate her.

"Dylan, let's go," Geiger said, "We should bounce man,"

He took a deep breath and stepped away from her, knowing that he could lose if he kept doing that. He turned his back to her and walked back to the group.

He didn't see the way that her face sank at the name. She reached forward, watching this man as he stepped away, "Your name is Dylan? When were you born? When is your birthday?"

Before he could get too far, she grabbed onto his arm and then chaos broke out. Everyone started to grab for their guns, unsure what she was going to do.

Link held his hand up, signalling to his men to put their guns down. When they did, he turned back to Samantha,

"May 16th," he said before pulling away from her, wiping blood from his nose, "Thank you for the pie. I will grab some when I destroy everything you have built,"

It was the middle of the day and Aubrey was taking a well deserved nap whilst Grace slept in the bassinet next to her when she heard a loud shriek of excitement.

She immediately jolted away, eyes darting to the door, one hand grabbing onto her gun.

But what she saw at the door was Crystal hugging a woman and a little boy and when they moved, she recognised them as Teri and Bean, the kid that she had been looking after.

Xavier walked up to the door and smiled at the sight of the mother and daughter asleep, "We got 'em back,"

"Good job," she replied

"Turns out they weren't being held hostage and instead, they were on a train to Colarado," he explained.

Aubrey sat up, brows furrowed as she realised there was only one train to Colarado and it should already be there, "Dakotas train?" She asked and he nodded, "They should have been there last month, that means they've not broken into the bunker yet,"

"Well Dakota is holding it for us, they're leaving tonight," he explained, looking at the woman as she figured everything out.

Her head was swimming with thoughts because this meant she was going to be able to see Link again.

"Let's go then," she said, picking Grace up and placing her into the carrier, strapping it against her chest.

He walked her outside and thats when she finally got to see Teri and Bean, "Aubrey, this is my wife Teri and Bean. Guys, this is my dear friend Aubrey and her baby girl Grace,"

Immediately, Teri came and gave her a hug, "Thank you for helping him get back to me,"

"No, I need to thank you. If he wouldn't have come looking for you, he wouldn't have come and helped me deliver my baby," she said, looking down at the little girl.

"She is adorable," Teri said with a smile, "How old is she?"

"Two weeks," she said.

Teri gasped, "You are looking very good for a mother two weeks postpartum,"

"Well the train is about 5 days long so I will have some time to rest," she said, "Speaking of the train, we should get going. Don't want Dakota leaving without us,"

As they walked back, Aubrey looked down at her baby and thought about the fact that she was going to be able to reunite her with her father finally.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

016; jane

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Wordcount: 1.2k

As Xavier walked off, Crystal ushered Aubrey into a small room in the back where she would carry out her medical examinations, "Normally I charge for this but for a friend of Teri's, its on the house,"

Aubrey smiled, sitting down on the chair, just like an old doctors room from before. Grace was asleep on her chest.

"Do you mind if I take her? Crystal asked and she passed her the baby.

She lay her down on the table and checked her over, making sure her heart sounded okay, looking to see if all of her joints working.

"She looks like a perfectly healthy baby, you are lucky. Is she your first?" She asked.

Aubrey shook her head, "My first was a while ago, stillborn,"

"I'm sorry to hear that, do you mind if I leave her with Jackie whilst I check you over?" She asked.

She nodded, watching Grace with a smile, "You're a very polite nurse," she said with a laugh.

"You have to be with these people, some are scared of strangers," she explained, pulling another pair of latex gloves on, "Any complications with this pregnancy?"

"No, I don't think so. I had high blood pressure for a bit but it settled down," she explained.

Aubrey wondered what Annie would have thought of this. She would have loved the idea of working again, maybe she would have wanted to join these people.

She had been afraid of strangers too, and she had promise Aubrey that she would make sure Grace was never afraid, that the baby she helped look after during pregnancy was looked after.

"Do you mind if I just check you?" Crystal asked, gesturing to the stirrups.

She nodded, putting her legs in the stirrups, allowing the woman to raise the medical gown she had put her in earlier.

She examined everything for a moment, making sure that the postpartum mother was okay and healthy.

"Everything's looks good here, you seem to be a very healthy woman. You are lucky," she said, pulling her gloves up and asking her to get off the bed.

"I am," she said.

Aubrey thought back to all of the amazing medical care that she had been given by Annie, she didn't know how she would have handled the pregnancy otherwise.

"My friend, she was a medical resident before the world all fell apart. She looked after me for most of it," Aubrey explained as she dressed back into her normal clothes.

"Seems like a very good friend," she said and Aubrey could feel the tears burning behind her eyes

She missed her every day. She had looked after her like a sister for the last 8 months there and she knew that when she told Link all that had been done for her that he would be happy he had left her there with Annie too.

She took Grace back in her arms, thinking of her father for a moment, thinking of what he would think of all of this. She would be with him again soon.

"We have some more diapers and some bottles and all of that for when you run out. We also have some more clothes that you are welcome to take," Jackie explained.

"Thank you, thank you so much," she said, grateful that once again, strangers had come through and been the biggest help in her life.

After Link had told the cameras outside the bunker that he would be coming for them and that he wanted them to let him in, they just had to wait.

More and more people were starting to arrive but they were still waiting for the train. They needed the guns and supplies from the train in case things started to get nasty.

Link was lying in the bus, trying not to think about the fact that his child should have been born by now, that somewhere out there is a baby who is half him and half the love of his life and he has to wait to meet them.

When this was all over and they had made the world a better place to live in, it would all be worth it.

Outside, the men noticed a figure starting to walk towards them, "Gentleman," the woman dressed in a casual business suit said.

Immediately, they all aimed their guns at her because she was not part of their group, and that meant that she must be from inside the bunker.

"It's just me, I'm Jane. The leader of the community is willing to meet with you, I've been asked to deliver the terms," she explained.

She walked closer, holding out a piece of paper. Gator stepped forward to grab it but as he did, she grabbed him by the neck, taking his gun from his holster and holding it against his head.

"Wheres the cutie with the cards?" She asked and when nobody moved, she laughed, "Im not playing,"

"I'm here," Link said with his hands raised as he stepped out of the bus, "Please lower your gun,"

She looked him up and down, a smirk on her face, "My boss is willing to meet but only with you,"

"Understood, and fine, but I'll be bringing my men," he agreed.

"You can bring two men, unarmed," she said with a scoff, shocked he would think they would allow armed men anywhere near the bunker.

The two negotiated for a few moments, going back and forth about who they could bring and eventually settled in five men, unarmed.

Link sat down in the folding chair, looking at the woman with skepticism.

"You guys have apple pie in there? All the things I crave the most, I think of a good old fashioned pie the most," he said.

Jane looked at him confused, wondering why out of all the things he could have asked for, he asked for apple pie. Little did he know that it was his fiancé's favourite.

Aubrey had always loved pie, they had made a really crappy pie once but it made everyone smile. He wondered for a split second what her pregnancy cravings were.

"We have pie, it's really good actually," the woman explained, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Five men, unarmed and a slice of applied pie," Link suggested, laying out the final terms of the agreement.

"I'll see what I can do," she smiled, a flirty demeanour to the way she acted, "I will let him go now, do not try and attack me,"

She handed the gun back to Gator before stepping away from the scene. She gave them a flirty little wave before she started to walk away back up the mountain.

The men all looked at each other, knowing that even if they had finally gotten a conversation with them, that they were dangerous and they needed to go in prepared.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

015; the mailman

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Wordcount: 1.5k

When they arrived in Atlanta they made their way to the coordinates and found that they had arrived at an old mailing room. It seemed deserted except for one man who stood at the door, waiting.

"Where the fuck is my wife?" Xavier asked, holding his gun steady, ready for if this man were to fight back.

Aubrey was ready too. She had one hand on Grace's head, ready to protect her at any moment, the other on her gun.

"Its a long story," he explained.

"We have time," Aubrey stated very bluntly, there was something weird about this man.

"I survived the last few years here with a small group of people including your wife. My best friend betrayed us and a group of armed men came and took her, they took everyone," he explained.

There was silence as they both wondered whether the story that they were just told was true. That would mean that Teri wasn't even here.

"Can you put the gun down?" The man asked, clearly nervous.

"How many men?" Aubrey asked.

"What kind of weapons?" Xavied followed up.

"5 or 6 maybe, and I don't know about weapons," he seemed scared, hand held up in surrender, but she felt there was something he wasn't telling them, "I'll tell you everything, just put the gun down,"

Her and Xavier shared a look, one that said they could trust this guy to an extent. He nodded and they both put their guns down.

The man, Gary, ushered them into the mail room, showing them maps of the area and explaining about how he had set this all up

Aubrey could hear the baby starting to fuss, her cries getting a little bit louder. She started to shush her, bouncing her up and down slightly.

"Im gonna go feed her," she said, looking down at her watch.

Xavier nodded, watching as she walked over to a secluded corner and sat down. She pulled Grace from the baby carrier and cradled her gently

"Its okay sweet girl," she said, the baby having calmed down a little bit at the rocking.

Aubrey looked up, seeing a painting of 9 people and she recognised the name under one of them, "Is this your wife?"

Xavier walked over, tears brimming in his eyes as he looked at the picture of his wife. It looked just like her.

After she had fed Grace, Gary showed them around the facility and what they had set up for themselves.

"That was her bed," he said, pointing at one of the bottom bunk beds.

The man wandered around, wondering what his wife's life had been like for all those years they had been separated.

He noticed something under her pillow and pulled out a picture of all of the people that lived there. He ran a finger over his wife's face, a smile pulling at his lips.

"We took that photo the day before she was taken, 12 days ago," Gary explained.

Aubrey scoffed, turning to the man, "12 days, and you've done nothing to find them?"

"I know where they are and I tried to rescue them but I couldn't," he said, something feeling odd about it all, "I'm just a mailman,"

"Show me," Xavier said, also angry that this man had done nothing to help his wife.

"I'll stay here Xavier, think she needs to sleep," Aubrey said, she was never one to resist a good recon mission but she knew that both of them needed the rest.

Xavier agreed, promising to come home as soon as possible. He started to pack a few things into his backpack, walking back into the main room.

"Whats her name?" Gary asked.

"Grace," she said, rocking the baby in her arms.

"I can hold her if you like," he offered, noticing that she was getting a bit tired.

Before Aubrey could turn him down, Xavier jumped in, "You may know my wife, but I dont know you. Nobody but her and I touch this baby,"

"Sorry, I just want to help," the man said, sheepish. He was almost offended they wouldn't let him hold the baby.

"Do you have anything that can give us a spark of electricity?" Xavier asked.

He shook his head, "Everything's dead,"

"I know you had something that could power a radio," he said, knowing that there was some sort of power.

"Its been destroyed," he explained, mentioning how Ennis, the man who had double crossed them, had destroyed it, "We never got it working again,"

Xavier shook his head, a sad look on his face. He was not ready to give up yet, "I spent every day for the last 3 years thinking she was gone then I heard that voice. That will not be the last time I heard her voice,"

Gary watched as the cogs turned in the other man's head as he started to figure out what he could do to get his wife back.

"I'm gonna go back to the train and make a distraction," Xavier explained, knowing exactly what he needed now.

"What kind of distraction?" Gary asked.

Aubrey saw what items Xavier was looking at and new exactly what he wanted to build, "A bomb," she said, "Let me help, I have worked in nuclear plants, I can do this,"

"You are nearly 2 weeks postpartum and still need to rest," he said, and even though she wanted to help, she knew that he was right, "You will stay here. When we find the stuff we will build it,"

After the recon mission that Gary and Xavier went on, Gary explained that there was a place where they could get the items that he needed to build the bomb.

It was only an hours walk away and when they arrived, Aubrey noticed that there was a bustling market full of people who were selling and trading things they had built or found.

"All we need is something we can use as a detonator," Aubrey explained to Gary, "Where here can we find it?"

"Ive never been here but theyre the only ones we can trust," he explained as they looked around at booths of people.

There was a drag queen running an auction, and small children running around one particular work station and Aubrey smiled because this is what her and Link had been fighting for.

There were so many good people in the world who just wanted normalcy. They wanted to restart the world so that everyone could live like this and be happy again.

"Excuse me, looking for a working car battery," Xavier asked as he walked up to a man who seemed to have a lot of electronics.

The man just sat there in silence, sharpening his knife.

"Alright, home much for those two old field walkies?" Aubrey asked, pointing behind him.

"What you got?" The man asked, looking up.

Xavier looked at Gary who started to rummage through his bag but there didn't seem to be anything of value.

"I ain't seen a working car battery in 3 years, so you ain't a local. We good people around here, we don't want any problems," the man said.

The two looked at each other and both knew that this place would not be friendly to outsiders like them. They began to walk away when suddenly someone started to call for Gary.

They turned around, watching as two women rushed over and gave him a hug. One of them looked at Xavier and Aubrey.

"Who this?" She asked.

"Crystal, Jackie. This is Aubrey, her baby Grace and Xavier Collins," he introduced.

The two women's eyes went wide when they heard the name, almost like Teri had told them all about him, "Where's Teri?"

He explained everything that had happened with Ennis meeting people on a train and then them kidnapping Teri and the othwrs.

"I came back, they had taken everything. Everyone's gone," he explained.

"Ennis told the others where it was, hes working with them?" Jackie questioned, shaking her head, "That motherfucker,"

Crystal nodded, "We all love Teri, we'd do anything to help her,"

"I'm gonna get her back, and I am going to build a bomb to do it," he explained.

"We came here for supplies, radio, ammo, clacker," Aubrey told thrm.

Jackie nodded her head, "If theres anything you need, we're here for you,"

Aubrey and Xavier shared a look, they both knew she wouldn't be able to come with them on the mission, "Can I stay for the night, Xavier won't let me come help save Teri,"

"Because you are a week postpartum," he said.

She rolled her eyes but Crystal nodded, "He's right, you should rest. We will check you out and make sure you're okay,"

Xavier hugged her, hating that he was having to leave her and Grace behind for a while but he would be back with his wife soon enough.

"Look after yourself kid," he said, patting her on the shoulder.

"I will, you know I can," she replied, watching as him and Gary walked away.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

014; holy charge

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Wordcount: 3.6k

The night before they left, Aubrey went to go and sit on the roof and watch the sunset when she noticed that Xavier was already there. He had been planning for nearly 2 weeks now and knew the quickest way to Atlanta.

"I havent seen a real sunset in years," he said, turning around and seeing her standing there.

He tapped on the chair next to him and she sat down, hand on her stomach, "What did you use for lights down there?"

"Fake sky, mechanical sun," he explained, scoffing at how silly it sounded when you say it out loud, "it looked so real at first but the longer we were down there, the more the seams began to show,"

"We'll head out tomorrow morning, but I need you to take us to Colarado after. You have to promise me," she said.

He nodded, "I promise,"

It was clear how important this all was to her. And she didn't know what she would do if she didn't make it there.

"The man in Colarado, hes my fiancé," she held her hand up, gesturing to the ring on it, "He's this baby's daddy and we were heading there but I knew I couldn't go. It was going to be dangerous and we had a baby coming so I stayed. I was so scared,"

"It's normal to be scared. I was scared shittless when I had a baby and the world was still intact," he explained, a sad smile on his face as he thought about his own kids, "The older they get, the fears never go away, they change,"

There was a moment of silence as she thought about it. Her baby should be 2 years old by now, she never got to see her grow older.

"I lost my first baby," she explained.

He turned to her, eyes wide, "I'm sorry to hear that,"

"Before this, I was in an abusive relationship and I got pregnant," Aubrey explained, pulling on the threads of the sleeves of her jacket, "Baby girl was stillborn and it broke me. I can't have that happen again,"

"You will have a safe baby, Annie looks after you very well," he promised.

"I know," she said.

Aubrey was lucky to have found a friend like Annie, someone who always looked after her. It helped that she was a doctor and had experience in all of this.

"You will not believe the joy when you have this baby. You'll be playing with the kid and sometimes, it feels like your heart might explode," he explained.

She nodded, wiping tears from her eyes. This baby was coming soon, in the next few weeks she was going to have a baby.

"I was finally happy, finally had the most amazing man and I stayed here," she shook her head, almost like she regretted it, "Promise you'll take me to him in Colarado,"

"Yeah, of course," he said, placing his hand on top of hers, "Gotta meet this wonderful man you talk so much about,"

She laughed and for the first time in a long time, she felt like she had someone who reminded her of her father - warm, funny, kind. It was nice to know she had someone else to support her. 

The next morning, Aubrey sat on the horse as they slowly made their way out of Graceland. But Annie was stuck at the gate.

"You good?" Aubrey asked, knowing how scared her friend was.

She stood there for a moment, looking back at everything she knew. She nodded before taking a step outside of the gates, the furthest she had been in years.

The day was long, riding through empty fields and abandoned streets. It was strange to think about everyone who used to be there.

As the sun started to set, they pulled up to a church, Xavier announcing that they would stop for the night.

"I am so craving some waffles, what I would give for a Dennys," Aubrey said as she sat down on one of the pews.

Xavier reached for something on the ground, noticing the ID that she always carried around that belonged to Link, it was the only photo she had of him.

"Is that um-" he asked as she tried to grab it back.

"Thats Dylan," she said, watching the confusion on his face, "What?"

"Nothing. Who is he?" He asked, almost like he recognised him.

"He's going to Colarado,  wants to get in the bunker," she explained, "He's everything to me,"

"Ive been having these dreams, maybe not dreams, uh, like memories but of things that haven't happened," Xavier said, eyes still trained on the ID.

Annie gave him a weird look, like that was not normal but she didn't want to worry anyone, "You had a concussion so it might be that,"

He nodded, handing the ID back to Aubrey. She smiled as she saw his face, wondering when she would see him next. Hopefully in the few weeks it would take to travel there.

The next morning, they woke up and packed their bags, riding along the sunny paths

"Any ideas for baby names?" Xavier asked.

"I have a few, depends if its a boy or a girl. What are yours called?" She questioned.

He smiled, hand on his pocket where the picture of his kids were, "Presley and James,"

"They're lovely names," Annie said.

"What about Xavier?" He asked and she laughed, shaking her head at naming her child after him, "Or Daniel for a boy?"

Annie put his hand on the horse, stopping it slightly as they spotted a group of people up ahead.

After the days travelling, they still hadn't seen anyone and seeing people stressed Annie out.

"Lets keep moving," Xavier said, "We can be a little trusting,"

Aubrey could see that her friend was nervous, knowing how worried she would get when she was around people like that.

"Xavier, theyre not your friends. Dont say anything," Annie said, brows furrowed.

"Howdy, how y'all doing?" He did the opposite of what she asked, waving to them.

They waved back, giving him a soft smile. Still, they seemed like they could be dangerous and Aubrey knew that even if she could fight, she would not be able to in this state. 

It was a long day travelling and he could see that Aubrey was starting to struggle so they stopped a little bit early.

"Why don't we take a break?" She shook her head at Xaviers suggestion, "you wanted waffles?"

She chuckled, looking at the waffle house in front of them. They went inside, looking around and it felt like a blast from the past. Aubrey had always loved placed like this as a child, somewhere her mum always used to take her.

She looked around at the old diner seats, not noticing that Xavier had gone round the back and grabbed a bag of flour and a blanket

"You mad I said hi to those folks?" He asked Annie as he placed the things on the counter.

"Im not mad, I just am not good at trusting," she said.

"I understand, but sometimes in life you have to trust people," he said.

Aubrey walked over, giving her friend a side hug. She knew how big this was that they had come all the way out here.

"Has anyone told you how to swaddle a baby?" Xavier asked Aubrey who shook her head, "You gotta pack that sucker in tight like a burrito,"

He wrapped the bag of flour in a blanket and she watched as he pulled it tight. She thought about the fact that soon, she would have a baby too.

"Your turn," he said.

She waddled over, trying to wrap the flour up but she kept worrying it was too tight, "I'm gonna break him,"

"Its always tighter than you think, there you go," he said, watching as she pulled it tighter.

"When you leave the hospital you always think the same fhing. I cant believe they let me walk out of here with a brand new baby," he laughed, thinking about how it felt when he had his own baby, "Feel like you robbed a bank full of baby's,"

Aubrey showed off the flour baby, all wrapped up in the blanket. Annie laughed, looking at the little thing.

"When they lay your baby on your chest foe the first time, when you know theyre safe, its like living life at full volume. Thats what my dad always said," he said.

"I've seen awful things, I've done bad things," Aubrey said, knowing that she had killed that man all those months ago, "Thats the world my baby is coming into. Just pain and loss and death,"

"Joy will come too, I promise," he said, "we're all capable of great change, great love. Its a holy charge,"

"Holy charge?" Annie questioned, cocking her head to the side, "I like that,"

"You have one too Annie, you will have that moment where you realise that this is what you were brought on this earth to do," he explained.

Annie smiled to herself, almost like she knew that there was something more out there for her then what she thought, "Lets get to bed,"

Waking up the next morning, Aubrey walked out to feed the horse, wanting some fresh air. As she looked around at the empty area, she felt a sense of peace.

Two years ago, she was trapped in a house being abused and here she was, completely free.

A hand stroked the horse and then she doubled over with pain as she felt a sharp contraction in her abdomen.

"Annie, Xavier!" She called out.

"What is it?" Annie came running out immediately at the sound of her friends cries.

She had her back to the wall of the waffle house, "My water just broke," she shook her head, "Its too early, I'm only 36 weeks,"

"Lets go back inside and we'll figure it out, come on," Annie grabbed her friends hand, helping her up as she sat her down inside.

"What do we need Annie? To deliver her baby?" Xavier asked, starting to panic. They were supposed to be in Atlanta by the time she gave birth.

"Uh, clean towels, somrthing to suction the baby's mouth, something to tie off the umbilical cord," she explained, rushing around the kitchen..

Annie and Xavier dug through the kitchen but they both knew there was nothing there for them. They would need some help.

"Hey Annie, we have to go get help or some supplies," he saud.

"We can't, she might go into active labour, theres nobody-" she started to fight him, knowing what he was thinking.

"The people from earlier. She wont have this baby anytime soon and I need you to tell me what to get. I'll protect you," he promised.

Aubrey could hear them having an argument in the back and stood up, ignoring the pain in her back as she walked round the corner.

"What are you guys talking about?" She asked, leaning against the wall.

"Me and Annie are going to go find those people and get you help, okay?" He said.

Aubrey could feel her mind running so quickly, all the thoughts swimming in her head of all the bad things that could happen.

"You're leaving?" She questioned, eyes wide.

"You have the gun, you'll be fine, come on Annie," he said as he escorted her back to the seat.

He started to run off, Annie quickly following him. She knew that she would be the best person to help get materials to deliver the baby, even if she was acres.

They reached the house and spotted the wagon they had seen earlier outside of the house. Annie was too scared to go in, a knife in her hand as she stood guard outside of the house.

She heard him getting attacked and without thinking, began to rush into the house but felt a sharp pain in her ankle.

When Annie looked down, she saw a Rattlesnake and wondered why she hadn't heard it. She kicked it away before looking down at her ankle, noticing puncture marks.

"Shit," she muttered, knowing that this was going to kill her.

Still, she had to go and rescue Xavier so she pushed her fear away and went inside to see him bartering with the people, "Please, my friend is in labour and she needs supplies,"

They ran back with the people and the supplies. Aubrey was sat at the door, sweat on her brow as she waited with the gun.

Annie was stood outside as Xavier and the others went inside. She could feel herself panicking already.

"Come on," Xavier said, stepping back outside after introducing everyone to Aubrey.

"Xavier, I got bitten," she admitted.

"What?" He started to worry, not sure what could have happened.

"There was a rattlesnake, it bit me," she lifted up her trouser leg and showed him. He swore under his breath, knowing it was too late to do anything, "Do not tell her, do not tell her until its too late. Promise me?"

"I promise," he said, walking back in, trying to put it to the back of his mind that she was going to die in the next few hours.

When Aubrey saw Xavier again, she reached for his hand, "Theyre only 5 minutes apart now,"

"You'll be okay," he promised.

She spent the next four hours in agonising labour, even worse than last time.

As she looked around, one woman was in the back, sterilising a bunch of materials with the gas from the oven.

Marie, the nice woman from earlier, was helping to apply counter pressure on her pelvis as she bent over the counter in the middle of a contraction.

"Hang in there," Xavier said.

"Shes getting close," Marie explained as she watched the men start to set up a mattress and a blanket for her to give birth on.

They were all so kind and Aubrey kept thinking about how these strangers were helping her even if they didn't need to. This was the good that Link always saw in humanity.

"Youre doing so good," Annie said as Marie helped the girl down onto the mattress.

Aubrey was so focused on giving birth that she didn't notice how pale her friend was and the sweat on her forehead.

"Come on Aubrey, you got this," she said as she helped her take her trousers off, putting a blanket over her.

She was in active labour now, close to giving birth but Annie couldn't stop shaking, her breath starting to falter. Another woman stepped in, explaining that she had been a paramedic and had done this before.

"One last push Aubrey," Xavier said, coming to her side and holding her hand.

She let out a loud groan and thought about Link and how he was missing all of this. He should be here with her.

"I cant do it," she said, shaking her head. She was sweating now, starting to panic.

"Come on Birdie, you can do it," Annie said.

She looked over at her friend and nodded, closing her eyes as she pushed again.

"I see the head," the woman said.

Marie nodded, "You can do this kid," she promised and Aubrey let out one loud yell, feeling the pressure rising.

There was a moment of silence and then the baby started to cry, a loud cry. Aubrey felt a wave of relief over herself as she realised that her baby was alive.

She let out a sob at the realisation that she had done it, that her baby had survived, "They okay?"

"Shes okay" Annie said, being the one to cut the cord even if her hands were shaking.

"Its a girl?" She asked, looking at Xavier.

He smiled, pressing a kiss to her sweaty forehead, "Its a healthy baby girl,"

The woman came up, wrapping the baby gently and placing it against her chest.

"I told you she'd make it," Xavier said.

"Gotta deliver the placenta now mama," Marie said.

She did it easily, so focused on the baby that nothing else mattered in that moment. She couldn't stop staring at the little girl in her arms.

It was half her, and half Link. She had his eyes and she let a tear slip down her cheek as she thought about how excited he would be when he met his daughter.

She had spent the last ten minutes enjoying the time with her baby when all of a sudden, Annie collapsed on the floor.

"Is she okay?" Aubrey asked, looking over.

Marie rushed over, placing a hand on her forehead to see how high of a fever she had, "You're not well, oh God, you were bitten," she looked at her swollen ankle.

"Bitren? Annie?" Aubrey questioned.

"Its okay, all that matters is that shes okay," Annie said as she crawled over, looking at the little baby.

"Is there anything they can do?" Aubrey asked, looking at Xavier. He shook his head.

Tears spilt over her eyes as she watched her friend in the moments before she died, "Bring me over to her," Annie asked.

They pulled her weak body over. She was starting to bleed internally and she knew it, feeling the pain in her abdomen.

"This is my moment. I helped deliver your baby, I looked after you. This is my moment where I realise this is why I was brought on Earth," she said, looking over at xavier and thinking about what he had said last night.

"Annie, no, please don't," She begged.

"Being a mother, this is your holy charge," she was shaking, a hand brushing lightly over the babies cheek, "It was always you, find Link. Do not let her be afraid of people like me,"

Annie turned to Xavier. He had shown her that she needed to be brave and that she was capable of so much more than she thought.

"Xavier, look after my girls. This is your holy charge, look after them for me," she promised.

She lay back against the mattress and Xavier took the baby away from Aubrey to allow her to hold her friend one last time.

"You're my best friend," she said, feeling the way that her friend was boiling hot. She was going to die, "I love you Annie,"

"I love you too Birdie. I'm not scared anymore, I'm not scared anymore," she said, leaning against her shoulder.

Her breathing was rapid but then it stopped. Aubrey let out a sob as she felt her best friend die in her arms. She had gotten her daughter, but lost her friend.

As the two lay there, she sobbed at how unfair life was. But she had to move on, because she had her daughter now. That was her holy charge.

It had been nearly four days and Xavier had been there when they had buried Annie.

"We try and give everyone we meet some dignity, some Grace," the man explained.

Aubrey walked over, her baby girl in her arms. She looked at the gravestone, thinking about how much she missed her friend.

"You okay?" Xavier asked.

"I'm just lucky I didn't tear," she joked, "we can make it to Atlanta and then Colarado,"

"You could stay here," he suggested.

She shook her head, "No, I'm not gonna do what Annie did and hide away from the world. I'm gonna do all I can,"

She heard her name being called and walked over to where Marie was sitting with a backpack full of diapers and stuff for baby.

"Thank you for everything you did," Aubrey said as she sat down in the armchair next to her.

"You're an exceptional woman," she said, "Thank you for letting me be a part of this baby's story,"

"What did you do before all this?" Xavier asked as he sat down.

"Chemistry teacher for high school but I realised there was a real deficit of people willing to get their hands dirty," she explained.

"I wanted to be an English teacher," Aubrey said, thinking about how different her life might have been if this world wouldn't have turned out the way it did.

"Ive been doing a lot of reading the last few years. 72,000 years ago there was this volcano in Sumatra which drove the human population to 1,000 people," she explained.

"Wild to think about," Aubrey said.

"At least that time it wasn't out own fucking fault," Marie said, looking at the house, "I look at my grandson and cannot believe it, it seems like yesterday I was sneaking off under the bleachers,"

Aubrey smiled to herself, thinking about what her high school self would think if she could see her no2.

"Now I'm an old woman, wondering what he will live through, how it all happened so fast. We all forget how close we are in time. How quickly our sins become our children's burdens,"

As she stood up, Marie helped her to figure out the baby carrier on her chest, watching the baby snuggle into her mother's skin.

"Thank you again," she said.

"Anytime," Marie said as she gave her a hug, looking down at the baby, "Whats her name?"

"Grace. Grace Annie Marie," she said, smiling at the woman who had helped her get through a difficult labour, "Shes named after strong women,"

"Good luck kid," she said.

"Thank you," Aubrey got onto the horse, sitting in front of Xavier as they started to make their way to Atlanta.

As she looked down at the baby asleep against her chest, she realised how strong she was. They were going to make it through this

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

013; another day in paradise

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Wordcount: 1.4k

Aubrey was nearly 8 months pregnant, and it had been three days since she had seen Annie.

Three days ago, they had seen a plane crash into the woods. Her heart raced when she saw it because she knew who it should be, it should be Link because the only place you could get a plane now was the bunker.

It confirmed that the bunker was real and it meant that he had come back for her. However, she was first worried that it had crashed and second, it was in Arkansas.

Annie had forbidden her from coming so the girl had gone to look and she hadn't seen her since. The days had been filled with pacing the house nervously, wondering if the love of her life was dead.

As she paced the kitchen again, she heard the sound of a horse and looked out of the window to see Annie riding back, but on the back of the horse was not Link.

Aubrey rushed out of the house and waddled over to her friend, "Oh my God, who is that?"

"I don't know," Annie said as they helped to move him into the house.

"He looks really familiar," she looked at him, confused as to where she recognised him, "Was he an actor? Did they have those in the bunker?"

Annie laughed, "Just help me get him inside,"

They pulled him along the floor, both women using their strength to drag him towards the couch. Annie used her body to force him up onto the couch, laying him there as she looked at his wounds.

"He's been stabbed," Annie said as she pulled his shirt up.

"Do you think that was before or after he got in the plane?" She asked.

Annie looked over the wound, "It's fresh, I'd say it was only a few hours before I found him,"

Aubrey sighed, "No Link?"

The woman shook her head, a sad look on her face. She knew how much the couple meant to each other and how Aubrey had been waiting for him since that day, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Lets just get this guy fixed up, he might have some answers," she suggested.

Two days later, Aubrey was sitting in the room, keeping an eye on the guy when he started to stir, blinking slowly and groggily sitting up.

"Annie, hes awake!" She called out, hand reaching for her gun just in case. Even if he was handcuffed, she knew not to fully trust people.

"Where am I?" He asked, voice hoarse.

She scoffed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you,"

Annie rushed into the room, a bag of laundry still in her hands but she dropped it when she saw he was awake.

"I need to get to Atlanta," he said, repeating the same thing that he had said in his sleep.

"You've been going on and on about Atlanta since I found you," Annie said.

"Are these your kids? Were they with you on the plane?" Aubrey pulled out the picture that she had found in his pocket.

He looked at it, squinting before nodding, "Those are my children. They're in Colorado. In an underground bunker in Colorado,"

The two women shared a look, it meant that the bunker was real and that everything that Link had said was true.

However, it also meant that if he was escaping the bunker then there must be something wrong. Her mind was running a million miles a minute but still, all she could think about was Link.

She worried about him everyday, but the last few days had made her realise how muchs he missed him.

"Theres survivors in colarado but my wife Teri, shes in Atlanta," he explained.

That made sense, he realised his wife was alive and ran away to find her. But there was still that sinking feeling in her chest.

"I need to get to Atlanta so if you could please just listen to me," he said.

"No, no, you listen to me," Aubrey said, shaking her head, "You're not going to Atlanta, you are taking us to Colarado,"

She stood up and his eyes went wide as he realised how heavily pregnant she was.

"Lets go Aubrey, give him some time to think," Annie said to the woman.

"Wait, wait," The man called out.

The two left, listening to him call for them still. The man sat up more, trying to get to them but he was still tied to the bed, trapped there.

In Colorado, Link was in a small settlement outside of the bunker, lying in his bed as he spun the ring on his finger, wondering what she was up to.

He knew that he had to get this done soon but with so many delays, he didn't know when he would be able to get back to Graceland and reunite with the woman that he loved.

Link thought about how she must be close to full term now and he was going to miss the birth of his baby, but he knew it was all worth it if he could give them a better life.

"Time to get to work," Big Papi said as he walked over, tapping on the metal wall.

Geiger walked over, a look on his face that said he was not happy, "We have some bad news, word just came in that the train is delayed,"

"Oh fuck, how long?" Link asked, sitting up and looking at them.

"No idea," Geiger responded.

"Wanna wait?" Gator asked.

Link shook his head, not willing to spend any moment longer away from her, "No, I'm done waiting, let's go find the fucking bunker,"

"Are you sure?" Geiger asked.

"Faster we do this, faster I get back to my girl and our baby," he said.

They all agreed and nodded, walking back to pack their stuff up. They knew that it would be best for them to get this done soon, they were all worried about Aubrey.

Link stood up, whistling and everyone looked over at him. He was a leader, someone for everyone to look up to, "We're moving out," he called out. He had to get home as fast as he could

After a few days, the man was starting to heal a little better and had stopped being in and out of an unconscious state.

Annie walked over to him, "You need to start moving a little," she uncuffed him and helped him stand up.

"Where's the pregnant one?" The man asked, clearly worried why there was a pregnant woman here.

"Lying down, she puts too much stress on herself," she explained, "Yes, now sit down so I can check your stitches,"

He took his shirt off, allowing Annie to get to work as she redid his stitches and made sure everything was okay. She put a bandage on it, mentioning how the small things can kill out here.

"Thing is, I have to get to-" he started to say.

"Atlanta, yes, we know. Its all you talk about," Aubrey said, rolling her eyes as she walked into the room.

"I thought I told you to have a nap," Annie said, annoyed like a mother.

"I can't sleep," she said, groaning as she sat down on the armchair, turning to the man, "We aren't going anywhere any time soon because our resident doctor has put six stitches in your spleen,"

"Why were you coming from Colarado if your wife is in Atlanta?" Annie asked.

"Thats where she was when everything happened. I was already on my way to Colarado," he explained.

"To the bunker?" Annie asked and he looked at her confused, unsure how she knew that, "The rumours were everywhere. Plus I know they have planes there,"

Aubrey smiled to herself, "He was right, we're gonna restart the world,"

"Who was right?" He asked.

"Baby daddy," she looked down at her stomach, still smiling to herself, "Whats it like?"

"Its like before but creepier," he explained with a small chuckle.

"Gonna need at least 2 weeks before they heal, even a stitches abscess can get infected and you get sepsis. Out here, the little things will kill you," Annie explained.

"Once you heal we're going to Colarado," the other woman said, desperate to go see him.

"I'm going to Atlanta," he stated.

She sighed, looking over at Annie, "Fine, Atlanta first then Colarado,"

The other woman nodded, agreeing to the plan, "I'm Annie by the way, this is Aubrey,"

"I'm Xavier," he said.

As they sat there in silence, thinking about their plan to go to Colarado, Aubrey smiled. She was going to Link.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

012; nesting

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Wordcount: 1.4k

Aubrey couldn't help herself as she sat in the room which had become her designated bedroom, her eyes locked on the mirror as she cried.

Annie heard her and came rushing into the room, confused what was wrong with her friend, "Hey, whats wrong?"

The woman sniffled, looking at Annie and then back at herself in the mirror, "I look pregnant,"

She had been living there for nearly 2 months now, 7 weeks passing and she had been so happy up until today.

Annie just looked at her confused, "You are pregnant," she stated.

"But I've really popped," she ran a hand over her stomach, starting at herself, "Look at that,"

In the mirror, she could see the bump very clearly now, her hand on her lower stomach. It was obvious now that she was pregnant.

"You should be proud to see that bump, that bump shows your baby is okay," Annie reassured her.

"But I don't know if they're okay," Aubrey said, tears welling up in her eyes.

A few weeks ago, when the two were becoming real friends and sharing stories about their lives before this, she had told Annie about her baby.

She had shared all of her fears and worries that it would happen again, that maybe she was just not supposed to be a mother.

"As long as it keeps growing and we keep you healthy then we don't need to worry about that," she said, trying to comfort her friend.

Annie sat down on the sofa opposite the mirror, looking at Aubrey who just kept staring at the mirror.

The woman stepped away, turning around and pulling her shirt down over her bump. She walked over and sat down on the sofa, staring at the mirror still.

"What if I'm a bad mum?" She asked, the question coming from nowhere.

"What?" Annie questioned.

She sighed, thinking about her childhood, "My mum died when I was 6, I never really had a mother. What if I'm bad at it?"

Aubrey didn't remember much about her mother, she remembered little things like the sugar cake she used to make or how excited she would get when country music came on the radio.

Sometimes, she forgot the way she looked, the vibrant red of her hair or the freckles on her cheeks or that wide toothy grin.

"You will be a great mother, I'm sure of it," Annie said, "From what you've told me about what you did with the boys, you seem like a great leader,"

Aubrey scoffed, "Doesn't mean I'll be a great mum,"

"It means you'll have good discipline, and teach your child good life skills," she said, "But you're also kind, and funny and that all balances it out,"

Aubrey smiled and looked over at her friend, "Thank you,"

"You're welcome. Now, let's go finish sorting out the nursery," Annie said, bumping her shoulder into her friends playfully.

Aubrey smiled to herself as the other woman walked away. She had never had a female friend like this, never able to as Philip controlled who she could or couldnt be friends with. It made her happy to know she was completely free.

"What's this now, like 18 weeks of you being here?" Annie asked as she took her friends blood pressure, the machine pumping.

"Yeah, so I'm probably about 26, maybe 28 weeks pregnant," Aubrey estimated.

"Well welcome to the third trimester mama," she said.

The girl furrowed her brow, confused that she had actually made it that far, "What?"

"Yeah, 28 weeks is the third trimester, and thats big for you and baby," she said.

"I'm happy we finally made it here," she said.

Aubrey didn't know how many weeks she had gotten to with her last baby, she was sure that she was born premature and thats why things didn't work out. She was just happy that this baby was healthy.

"Then come see the doctor for your weekly checkup," Annie joked.

Aubrey laughed and let her friend measure the bump, seeing how much it had grown and making sure they were both okay.

She was lucky to have found Annie when she did, to be able to stay here and have this constant checkups to make sure the baby was okay.

She wished sometimes she could have an ultrasound, she had never been able to have one and it would be so nice to see the baby, maybe know what the gender was so she could start to think about names.

"You tried to play piano for me when you first got here, I haven't heard you play much," Annie said as she started to pack her stuff away.

"Oh, I play when you go and feed the horse," she joked, not mentioning how much stagefright she would get from performing in front of other people.

She cocked her head towards the other room, "Show me some?"

Aubrey rolled her eyes but nodded, getting up and walking over to the other room. As she sat down at the grand piano, she looked down at the baby bump which restricted her movement slightly.

She had been so nervous and being pregnant, hating the way she looked but now she just saw it as a miracle that even in all the horrors of the world, she had managed to create this little life.

"My favourite is If I Can Dream, so I'll be playing that today," she said, referencing how she had asked Annie what her favourite Elvis song was when they first met.

Annie smiled as she heard the song, thinking about her mother and her love for Elvis.

She stopped abruptly in the middle of the song, feeling a sharp kick in her stomach and she smiled to herself.

"Annie, Annie come here, they're kicking," she called over.

The girl rushed over and knelt down next to the stool, pressing her hand against her friends stomach. She waited a second before she felt the little foot kicking against her hand.

"Oh wow, you can really feel that," she said, a massive smile on her face.

"Thats like the first massive kick I've had," she explained.

"That baby is fine in there, that will be a healthy baby," she said, feeling it kick again, "And a very violent one,"

"Are you sure?" She furrowed her brow, almost too worried about it all.

Aubrey would wake up sometimes from a nightmare, thinking about all the things that could go wrong, about her dying in childbirth or the baby being sick or anything that could go wrong.

"I will do everything I can for them," she promised.

Just knowing that she had someone who could deliver a baby made her feel a little bit more at ease. She did worry though about Link and how he would miss the birth, or if he would ever find them.

"Well I guess I'll just have to make you the Godmother then," she joked.

Annies eyes went wide, "Really?"

"Yeah, when Link comes back and the world is turned back to normal a bit then you're coming with us," she promised.

"I don't know," she shook her head and Aubrey could still see that the girl was scared of leaving Graceland.

"Trust me, I have all these plans. Havs you heard of EPCOT?" She asked.

She furrowed her eyes, confused about what she had said, "Like the Disney park?"

"Well kind of, but initially before he died, Walt Disney wanted this contemporary living space where everyone could work and live and enjoy lives so I want to build that," Aubrey pitched the idea.

"You want to build that big ball?" Annie teased, thinking about the one time she went to Disney.

"Its a geodesic sphere," she corrected with a small laugh, "And no, I want a community with solar energy and electric monorail and I want to help rebuild society,"

"Thats really cool, did you study architecture," Annie asked.

"English, with a minor in musical theatre. My GPA wasn't good enough for architecture," she explained.

Annie thought about it all for a second, "Well it sounds like a great idea,"

"Yeah, this little baby will have free schools, free childcare. All of that," Aubrey ran a hand over her bump, thinking about the world that she was going to give to her baby.

She would do anything for this baby.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

011; happy news

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Wordcount: 1.7k

There was a feeling of peace as she woke up in Links arms, his hold on her giving her some peace. She forgot about all of the issues in the world as she snuggled into his chest.

Then she felt it again, that wave of nausea and what she had been trying to forget about was coming true. She jumped out of bed, scrambling to the bathroom and beginning to throw up.

Her boyfriend quickly rushed after her, holding her hair back, a hand rubbing her back as she threw up.

"Must have been chef's cooking," she joked, head still hanging over the toilet seat.

Aubrey stood up, washing her face before she turned to Link. He seemed concerned but he also knew maybe she needed a doctor.

"Okay honey, I'll go grab Annie and we can get on the road," he said, wondering if she could help.

Aubrey nodded, watching as he walked away. She stared at herself in the mirror for a second, thinking about the decision she had to make.

She brushed a hand over her face, thinking back to her first baby. She needed a doctor this time and she needed peace - she wasn't going to have that if she kept going.

She knew what she had to do.

"We have to go Annie but we can tell them you need another minute," Link said, knocking on the door.

He was so concerned about his girlfriend, knowing that their new friend could join them and help her if there was something wrong.

As Aubrey walked out into the hallway, she knew that Annie would never go with them.

She had been Annie before Link and the other guys had found her that day, she was never going to leave the safety of the home that she was used to.

She knew that if Philip hadn't have tried to kill her she wouldn't have gone with them, she wouldn't have left the devil she knew.

"Annie, I know things are scary but I really think you should come with us," he begged, knowing there was something seriously wrong with his girlfriend.

She walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Link, it's time to go," hr just shook his head, "Link, Dylan, stop,"

"What? We need more doctors, she had medical practice and we could use that if there are issues with Colarado," he explained, not wanting to share his concern for her yet

"I understand," she replied.

"What if people get hurt when we take over the bunker? What if something happens to you?" He stated.

There was silence as they looked at each other, stuck at a stalemate until one of them confessed their concerns.

Aubrey sighed, "Something has already happened to me,"

His face turned to one of concern and all of his worst fears were coming true, "Birdie? Tell me whats wrong?"

They walked into the next room, sitting down on the bed and Link couldn't hide his concern. His brows were furrowed and she knew he was going to freak out when she told him

"I'm pregnant," she said bluntly.

His eyes went wide, "But we always-"

"I know," she cut him off, looking down at her shoes, almost too ashamed to look at him and admit it, "I'm 2 months late baby. I thought the first month was stress but now,"

"You can't be pregnant," he said, still in shock.

Aubrey was silent for a little while, unsure how to explain it but with no pregnancy tests, she couldn't be sure. But she just knew, she could feel it.

"It's not my first time," she said and he looked up at her, a sad look on her face, "Dylan, we are having a baby,"

She thought of Joni for a second, of the baby girl that she didn't have time to look after. This baby would be different, she would make sure that it had the best life.

"Are you happy?" Link asked, breaking the silence.

She nodded, "The happiest,"

"Then what's wrong?" He knew there was something else, and it wasn't just the thoughts about her first baby.

Aubrey sighed and looked down at her hands, fiddling with the hem of her sleeve and thats when Link knew something was really bothering her.

"I can't go to Colarado with you, by the time we get there I will be at least 6 months pregnant and it will be dangerous for me and the baby," she explained.

"I will look after you with my life," he promised.

She shook her head. She knew that he would look after her, he would always look after her, but it was no place for a pregnant woman to be.

"I have to stay here, at least until the baby is born," she explained.

He shook his head, confused, "Stay? Here with Annie?"

"We were brought here for a reason and I think this is it. This is where I need to stay," she explained, reaching for his hands and holding onto him.

"Then I'll stay, I can talk to Sandra and she can-" he started to explain, trying to find another way for this to work but she cut him off.

"It has to be you, you have to destroy Alex," she said.

He couldn't do it, shaking his head in horror at the thought of being seperated from her, "I will not leave you, I will not leave you both here,"

She took his hand and placed it on her stomach and it really sunk in for Link that this was real, that they had created a life.

"Thats our baby," she said with a smile, watching him smile as well at the thought of them having a child, "And they have to come first for now,"

There was silence as Link stared at her stomach, thinking of everything he would do to protect that baby.

"I can't go, and you can't stay," she said, a sad smile on her face, "I know you will come back for me the second you are finished in Colarado and I will be waiting here for you,"

"Thats maybe a whole year," he said, a sad look on his face.

Aubrey felt the tears welling up in her eyes at the idea of not being with him for that long, "I know,"

"I'll miss the whole pregnancy, I will miss them being born," Link said.

"You have to save the world for our baby and that will make all the time apart worth it," she explained and he nodded.

Link stood up and she worried for a second about what he was going to do, but he shocked her even more when he got down on one knee.

"Aubrey-Mae Bernadette, will you marry me?" He asked.

"Dylan, what?" She just sat there in shock.

He scrambled over to his bag, digging through it quickly before he pulled out a box. Link went back to her, kneeling in front of her again as he pulled out a ring this time.

"Marry me, please," he asked again.

She looked at the ring, eyes wide, "Yes, yes, I will,"

Link stood up, wrapping his arms around her. This was his future wife now, and he was going to make sure the world was perfect for when their baby was born.

She held him close, burying her head in his neck. She couldn't believe that he was planning to propose, wondering how long he had that ring for.

"I will be back for you, I promise you," he said, kissing her gently.

"Go restart the world for us," she said, hand brushing over his face.

He puts his hand on her stomach again, "For our family,"

She nodded and they kissed again, a passionate kiss that they knew would be one of their lasts for a long time.

"Let me go say goodbye to the boys," she said and he nodded.

They walked downstairs to see all the boys waiting there. 

"Where's Annie?" Gator asked.

"She's not coming, and uh, neither am I," Aubrey said, looking at her now fiance.

Resounding shock echoed through the group, worried voices overlapping.

"What do you mean?" Bug Papi asked.

"Well, uh, I am pregnant," she said, trying to ignore the gasps from the group, "And that means all this stress, all the Colarado stuff, it's gonna put us in danger,"

"We can look after you," Geiger promised.

"No, I never told you guys this but I lost a baby before, and I know the stress did it to me," she sighed, knowing she had to stay, "I'm going to stay until the baby is born and then I will come join you in Colarado,"

"Will you be safe here?" Urkel asked.

"Yeah, maybe one of us should stay," Big Papi suggested.

It made Aubrey smile to think about how in the last year, all of these men had become friends and family to her and that they wanted to look after her.

"We have talked about this and we all need to go. Birdie will be just fine here and then we will come back in less than a year once this is all over and it will all be okay," Link explained, "Plus, she knows how to handle herself,"

They all rushed over, hugging her as they said their goodbyes. None of them even thought it was real, that they weren't going to see her every day anymore.

"I'm gonna miss you kid," Geiger said as he hugged her.

"I'll miss you too Geiger, look after my fiancé for me," she said.

He smiled, always knowing there was something between the two since they first met, "Fiancé, damn," he said, "I will,"

Aubrey stood at the doorway as she watched them all drive away, Link looking back at her one last time like it would be the last time he saw her.

Annie, at the sound of the cars driving away, walked out of the room and came to join her at the doorway

"Thank you for staying," she said.

"Thank you for having me," Aubrey replied with a sad smile, watching as her whole world drove away.

She placed a hand on her stomach, shaking her head as she realised she was going to do this again. And this time, she was going to have a family.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

010; graceland

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Wordcount: 2.6k

Graceland was a place her dad had always wanted to go and there was a part of Aubrey that was happy to be able to visit, maybe have a little walk through. He always used to play Elvis when she was a little girl and there were so many songs that stuck out.

The truck pushed through the gates, two of the guys riding motorcycles through the open field. They looked around and it seemed like nobody had been there for a while which was reassuring but at the same time, they had to keep their guards up.

Aubrey got out of the truck, watching as Big Papi kicked the door down, opening it up. Link walked in first, gun held out as he look at the grand staircase.

Gator rushed to the left into the kitchen, "Open can of beans, fresh, someones here," he reported

"Dining rooms clear," Urkel announced, "Lot of rooms to search,"

"Yeah, cause it's graceland dipshit," Aubrey responded, looking around in awe.

She remembered coming here with her dad when she was about 6 years old, just after her mum had died. It had seemed so big then, so different to the world she knew.

"Birdie," Link called out, eyes trained on the stairs, noticing a shadow run past.

"Yeah," she hummed in response.

"Someone's upstairs, I'm gonna go check, watch my six?" He said quietly, not wanting this person to hear.

She nodded, following him up the stairs slowly so that this person didn't notice them. She hoped they weren't violent, still rattled from the events of a few nights ago.

Link walked into the bedroom, noticing a shadow under the bed but he looked out the window, "Looks like they jumped out the balcony,"

He cocked his head towards the bed and she knew what he meant, he was trying to trick whoever it was. Aubrey was ready, gun aimed at the bed in case this person started to attack.

He grabbed the legs and pulled a woman out. She had a gun and started to fight against him when she realised what was going on.

"I'm not alone! There are others, and they're armed!" The woman yelled out. Link tried to calm her down but she kept kicking him

"Hey, we're not gonna hurt you," he said, looking at Aubrey and she signalled for everyone to calm down.

"One set of utensils, one bed, shes by herself," Chef announced.

"Okay, can we please start over?" Link asked and the woman spat in his face, trying to scramble away again.

Geiger and Aubrey shared a look, the man smirking a little bit. Normally people calmed down but they enjoyed seeing someone fight back.

"Maybe I should deal with this one honey," Aubrey suggested.

"No, I got it," he pushed her away from him, her back against the wall, "Where are the cars?"

The woman looked at Aubrey, almost making sure that this other woman was someone she could trust. She stopped fighting for a second.

"Elvis had a shit ton of cars and we wanna see them," Link explained, it was true but he didn't want to say what they wanted from the cars.

"I don't know where they are. We had some here but the others are across the street in the exhibit hall," she explained.

He gestures to the boys to go and they went downstairs, leaving the couple alone wih the girl.

"Get up Link, you're scaring the poor girl," she said.

Her boyfriend nodded, standing up. He didn't understand the worry of a woman in the end of the world but his wife did and she crouched down to the womans level. 

"Hi, I'm Aubrey, this is Link. Come have a seat?" She said, ushering her over to a nearby sofa. She reached into Links backpack and pulled out a coat, placing it on the sofa next to her, "It's a peace offering, you look cold,"

The woman was silent, not wanting to give them any information. She understood being cautious in this world, it's hard to trust people.

"How did you get to Graceland?" Link questioned.

"I was a tour guide here when it all happened," she explained, clearly not wanting to talk too much about it, "I didn't want anyone to know I was here,"

Aubrey sat down opposite the girl, watching as her boyfriend paced back and forth like he didn't trust her.

"Must have been hard by yourself here," Aubrey said.

The other woman shrugged, "I've been alone before,"

"Me too, but I know how hard it is to be alone in this world," she looked over at the piano, a smile on her face, "Can I play?"

The woman nodded and Aubrey jumped up, walking over and playing with the keys for a second, looking down at it with joy.

"Whats your favourite Elvis song?" She asked but there was silence.

She was about to turn around when she heard footsteps running out of the room. The woman had thrown her coat at Link and ran away into another room, locking the door behind her.

Link jumped up, running after her, "We don't want to hurt you,"

Aubrey walked out of the room, looking at him as he pounded on the door, "Come on Dylan, a girl by herself is gonna think you want to rape and murder her! You have to be gentler," she said.

"I have a very kind demeanour," he said before he furrowed his brown in confusion, "Wait, did you think I was going to rape and murder you?"

"No, I was going through a lot worse," she joked, shaking her head, "lets leave her for a bit, let it cool down,"

She held her hand out and he nodded, taking her hand and walking away. Aubrey knew how hard it was to be a girl in this world, how it felt to live in constant fear.

Two days later and the woman still hadn't come out of the room. Aubrey sat at the dining table, eating breakfast and just enjoying the time with the boys.

"Geiger, next time pick a smaller boar to kill," Urkel joked, looking at all the food on his plate.

"Hey man, you guys said I should get enough for everybody so I did,"

They all went silent when they heard the door open, seeing the woman standing there with a gun in her hand. Nobody moved, waiting for her to make the first move.

"Chefs making bacon, come join us," Aubrey said with a smile, "You can relax, we are not the bad guys,"

The woman nodded and walked over, sitting down at the end of the table away from everyone else. Link slid a plate towards her and she looked hesitant before taking a bite.

"The good news is that after 3 years, things are better out there then you think," Link explained, "I asked you your name before but you spat on me,"

The boys all giggled at the scenario, having had mocked him the last few days about it.

"Annie," she said, "Where did you all come from?"

"Well for me, when shit hit the fan I was living in Louisville, dropped out of college and when I heard the words super volcano and ash cloud on the news I grabbed as many coats as I could," he explained, "Saved my life,"

"No, I saved your life," Geiger interrupted.

"Its my story Geiger!" Link exclaimed like a little kid annoyed at his dad.

"Im just asking for a little fidelity to the truth kiddo," He said, chuckling as he looked over at the boy, "When I found you, you were in a sleeping bag crying like a toddler,"

"Geiger fed me because he needed another set of hands," he explained before looking over at the other man, letting him finish the story, "We tell this story a lot, it's his part,"

"I was recruiting a crew to go around and safely shut down all the nuclear power plants. Theres 94 and they are just meltdowns waiting to happen if they're abandoned," Geiger explained and Annie nodded, not having had thought about that.

"We've been everywhere this side of the Mississipi thats not underwater," Aubrey added in.

"So, how much do you know about what happened?" Link questioned.

She shook her head, silent like she didn't want to talk about it, like she had no idea what was going on outside.

"Best we can tell is the volcanic eruption set off an ash cloud that cooled the planet by 20 degrees. I have a theory that one of the world powers has a secret EMP device which-" Urkel started to explain before Aubrey cut him off with a groan.

"Alright Urkel, enough with the EMP conspiracy," she said, turning to Annie, "I've heard this too many times,"

There was a small smile on the girls face, like they were finally getting through to her.

"We believe we lost two-thirds of the population," Link explained, "Any survivors we meet are in groups and know how to grow food,"

"I am very impressed with the plant in your window but it needs more light though," Big Papi said, gesturing to her window.

"You don't have to hide in your room. The boys wouldn't hurt a fly, and I keep them in check. Do you mind if we stay for a few days?" Aubrey asked.

Annie nodded and they all sat and ate breakfast together, just enjoying some time being normal.

Aubrey knelt on the floor of the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet, hands clutching the seat as she felt violently sick.

"You okay?" A voice asked and Aubrey turned around, wiping her mouth and looking at Annie standing at the door.

"I'm okay, just sensitive stomach," she said, brows furrowed as she walked to the sink, washing her hands.

Annie nodded her head like she didn't believe her, "It's been nice having another girl here,"

"It has been, I love the guys but I miss girls," she said with a smile, "We are leaving tomorrow, we're part of this bigger group going west to restart the world. I gotta be in st Louis by next week,"

"Why are you going St Louis if you're supposed to be heading west," Annie asked.

"Because you don't want to be crossing the river into Arkansas," she leaned forward, pointing to the scar on her nose, "We thought it was okay now, but there are some bad pockets,"

There was a moment of silence, almost like they were both thinking about the dangers of the world.

"Are you pregnant?" Annie asked.

Her head whipped around and she looked at the girl with wide eyes. She hadn't said it out loud yet.

"Maybe," she said, voice quiet like she was too afraid to admit it, "Don't tell anyone,"

"You know, you could stay here for a little longer," Annie offered, genuinely enjoying having a friend around.

"I don't know, I have to go-" she cut herself off, knowing if she ran into the line of fire pregnant then she would be stupid.

Aubrey didn't know what to do, whether she was actually pregnant or not. It was all too much and reminded her of last time it had happened.

"Since its out last night, what are your dinner plans?" She put a fake smile on, hoping Annie wouldn't notice her worry, "I was thinking we should have a celebratory dinner, let's glam up a bit,"

Annie nodded, watching as Aubrey rushed downstairs to go tell the boys to look nice and prepare dinner for tonight.

She thought about how nice it would be if she would have some company here. Plus, she was a doctor so she could held her if there was something wrong.

When Aubrey came back up, they rushed into Priscillas room, full of all of her dresses and makeup. They were like little kids, running around and looking at all the pretty dresses.

For a few hours, they were able to be two normal women in their twenties, dressing up like they were going for a night out and being able to be girls.

When they were finished, Aubrey looked at herself in the mirror, a hand on her stomach as she thought about the baby that might be in there.

Annie looked over, noticing the worry on her face, "I meant it earlier, you can stay," she said.

Aubrey wiped a tear from her face, nodding, "Thank you, I'll think about it," she smiled, thinking about what was best for this baby, "Anyway, let's go downstairs and enjoy tonight,"

Annie nodded and they walked to the stairs. She went downstairs first, all the boys cheering when they saw her

"Wow, the new girl," Geiged whistled, seeing her in Priscillas infamous pink dress

"Wait till you see Birdie," she said, calling the girl downstairs.

She took a deep breath, feeling upset that she was lying to the boys about what was really going on. She walked downstairs, putting on a smile.

Links eyes trailed over her tight yellow dress, standing up and walking over to her, "Damn baby girl,"

"Stop," she said with a laugh as he grabbed her hand, spinning her around, "Annie helped me out, I haven't dressed up in years,"

"You are gorgeous, you both are," Geiger said as the couple came and sat down at the table.

"You don't look too bad yourself boys," she said, turning to her boyfriend and touching his cheek, "Love the shaved look honey,"

"Isn't he pretty?" Gator teased. 

"You've shaved off 10 years with that beard, how old are you?" Annie said, everyone laughing at her joke. 

"25, Aubreys the baby of the group though, shes 22," he explained.

"Those must have been some tough years, you looked rough," Annie teased, "At least Aubrey looks her age,"

Aubrey smiled, glad that she had finally made a female friend who really felt like a friend, not just a colleague, "A big thank you to our lovely host," 

They all held their glasses up, clinking them together before drinking. Aubrey put the whiskey down, just grabbing the water next to her.

"You not drinking Birdie?" Link questioned, brows furrowed.

"No, not feeling it tonight," she said, grabbing his hand and holding onto it, hoping he didnt notice what that suggested.

Gator turned to their host, a smile on his face, "Annie, one thing you miss and one thing you don't,"

She looked at Aubrey confused, not understanding what he meant, "It's a little game we play with we meet new people. Just pick one thing you liked about before and one thing you don't," she explained.

She sighed, sitting in silence for a second before answering, "I miss giving tours here at Graceland. This was the safest place in the world for me,"

"Then take us on a tour after dinner," Link suggested.

As they sat through dinner and even as they walked through the tour, all Aubrey could think about was the decision that she needed to make. Because it wasn't just her she needed to decide for now, it was their baby.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

IF I CAN DREAM

009; wrong side of arkansas

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Wordcount: 1.4k

It had been a whole year of freedom, of feeling the fresh air on her body and she had never been happier. There was a lightness to her but she had also grown into the best version of herself.

She was a leader, she had troops that she commanded. There were people who looked up to her, not just because she was Links girlfriend but because she was an important person.

Being Link's girlfriend was like nothing she had ever experienced. Every morning she woke up next to him, a quick kiss on the cheek before it was time to get to work.

He was sweet, always checking up on her and she had her spark back. Aubrey was finally herself again after years of having to shrink herself to fit what other people thought of her.

It was late at night and they stopped for a few minutes so that they could swap the drivers over and everyone could stretch their legs.

Aubrey felt that sickening feeling in her stomach like she did the night the night that Philip had come by. But he was dead now and he couldn't hurt her anymore.

She ignored it, "hey guys, I'm just going to the toilet and then we can go" she said before walking into the distance.

"Why do we still say going to the toilet if we don't have toilets?" Big Papi questioned.

"You're such a dumbass," Chef said, the two bickering for a while.

Link checked his watch, that bad feeling now starting to creep up on him, "Shush," he called out.

He heard a branch snap in the distance and pulled his gun out, not knowing what it was, "Whats up boss?" Geiger asked.

"Not sure," he said, holding his gun up when he saw a figure approaching.

He lowered it when he saw Aubrey coming from behind the tree but pulled it right back up again when he saw a man holding a gun to her head.

"Drop your weapons," he commanded, stepping into the moonlight. Link saw that her face was covered in blood, like they had punched her in the face a few times before she gave in.

"Fuck that," Link yelled out.

When he looked around, he noticed at least 15 guys had surrounded the area. This was the first time he had ever let his guard down and he was bewildered as to how he let this happen.

"Everyone drop your weapons and get on your knees," the man holding onto Aubrey said, "Or I'll shoot her brains out,"

"Boss?" Urkel questioned.

"Just do what they say," he said, dropping his gun and falling to his knees.

Within a few minutes, they were all sat against the trucks, hands bound and they knew this could be it. For the first time, the group wasn't in control.

Aubrey looked over at her boyfriend, she could see that his mind was spinning, trying to find a way out of it. Her hands rubbed against the ropes as she tried to sliver her way out of there.

Link looked at her, giving her a look that reassured her that it would all be okay. He wasn't going to let them die like this.

"Bring that one back to camp," one of the men said as he held a gun to Links head.

Her eyes went wide and the man pulled her away, "No, no!" She yelled out, not knowing what would await her back where they came from.

"Get your fucking hands off of her!" Link started to scramble up but the man pressed the barrel further into his head

"You're no use to her dead," Geiger said, giving Link a look.

The man in front of Geiger punched him square in the face, knocking his head back into the car.

"You're all gonna die anyway, and we're gonna take what we want," he said, gesturing to one of the men who was raiding their trucks.

She was being dragged by her hair, feet scraping against the dirt floor as she tried to find a footing.

She heard a gunshot in the distance and her heart was racing as she thought about whether one of her friends had been killed.

The man pushed her up against the tree and she could feel the blood drippisng down her face. She knew that she had to do something and she thought of the gun burning a hole in her pocket.

She had never had to use it before, they were a relatively peaceful group and most people they met were nice. This seemed to be some sort of territorial war.

Aubrey had survived so much in her life and she would be damned if she let some post-apocalyptic gang take her out.

She spat in the man's face, a wad of blood flying out and hitting him in the face, temporarily blurring his vision.

As he stumbled back, trying to wipe it from his face, she pulled the gun from her pocket. There was a moment where she questioned if she should do it but she thought back to when Link had taught her how to shoot and told her that hesitation kills.

Her finger pressed down on the trigger and the sound echoed through the woods. She could hear footsteps running towards her but couldn't even move to see if they were friendly or not.

Her hands were shaking as she held onto the gun. Aubrey couldn't pull her eyes away from the man that she had just shot in the face, the way the blood splattered on the wall.

The footsteps got closer and she assumed that because she hadn't been shot yet, that it was her friends.

"Aubrey," a voice said and she turned to see Urkel standing there, eyes wide as he realised what she had done.

She didn't say anything, mouth hanging open in shock as she turned back to look at the man that she had killed.

"Shes here guys!" He yelled out and she heard more footsteps running over.

When she saw the other men, they were also in a rough way. Geiger had a black eye, Chef had the sleeve of his shirt ripped off and Link was covered in blood splatters. That must have been the gunshots she heard earlier.

When he saw the vacant look in her eyes, he knew what was wrong. He rushed towards her, dropping to his knees in front of her, "Look at me Birdie,"

The nickname brought her back to reality and she sat down on the floor in front of him. She leaned her head against his chest and started weeping, balling her eyes out.

"I killed him," she said between sobs.

"It's okay, you did what you had to do," he said, repeating the phrase over and over again, trying to reassure her.

The next morning, Aubrey woke up in the truck. She had gotten a change of clothes and they had let her sleep late into the day.

She rubbed her eyes as she looked out of the window, not recognising where they were.

"Morning sunshine," Big Papi joked, he was driving the truck and looked behind him to see her.

She laughed, "Morning," she said, still a little bit shaken from the day before.

Aubrey could see it all if she closed her eyes, could see the man's brains splattering against the tree, watching his eyes go lifeless.

Link placed a hand down on her knee. He normally wasn't in the back seat but he knew that she would need some comfort after everything that had happened.

"How are you?" He asked, knowing it was a loaded question.

She shrugged, "As good as I can be, I guess,"

"You did a good job yesterday," Link said and even though she knew it was true, she felt that guilt sitting on her chest.

Aubrey was silent for a few minutes, just staring out of the window and thinking about how far she had come.

This was not the life that she had expected. She thought by this age she would have a house, maybe a kid, and a really good job. She didn't think she would be running around the country with blood on her hands.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"The home of the King, Graceland, baby," He teased, looking down at the map in his lap