I made like one popular post

why am i still here? just to suffer? apparently

[yassmines]

my favorite part abt this generation is no one is ironing their clothes anymore fjckfncn fuck that! if the wrinkles wanna be there let them

[gtgcya-archive]

cis people wouldnt know a joke if it got out of a bus and started hitting them

[sarcastic-and-witty-username]

maybe I want the joke to get out of the bus and hit me

[memesonthehour]

[gay-hrothgars]

people with glasses trying to wear masks rn

[vodcar]

country gnomes,

take my bones

[cryptidfuckery]

to a place,

they don't belong

[annabellioncourt]

see shit like this is the reason that it’s so hard to turn my back on this website. Where else, pray tell, are you going to find this kind of quality nonsense.

[druggeddraccus]

west virginia

[danhumphrey]

i miss when personality quizzes didnt require so much brainpower like whatever happened to questions like “which biome would you rather live” where i would simply scroll until i saw forest. now i have to try to decipher long ass quotes about like love and shit? pass. i don’t have a brain

[surprisebitch]

watch until the very end

[animatedtext]

[coolghostdude]

let me assign you a gender

[succubusvenus]

I wasn’t asked to a single dance in high school and didn’t have a serious romantic relationship until I was 22. And like, yeah that shit hurt when I was younger. I had a lot of fears that I was unlovable and that I didn’t deserve to be happy. And every time I would try to talk to anyone about it, the conversation became, “you’ll find someone”, when it should have been, “you don’t need a relationship or a date, you’re lovable & complete & beautiful on your own”.

So yeah, please normalize young people not dating, and please stop shaming them for it. There’s more to life than romance, despite what the media wants us to think.

[verynicecaesarino]

[chunkecheeks]

type “i am” in the tags and whatever comes up first is your new mandatory kin

[whitepeopletwitter]

[kwarrtz]

“700%” lol I wish

[kwarrtz]

I had to check just to make sure I was remembering the numbers right because they still boggle my mind a little bit. This paper estimates that a 1000 unit vial of Humalog (insulin lispro)–which in my case lasts an average of 10 days–costs about US$5 to develop and manufacture as of 2016.  Meanwhile, the last vial I picked up from the pharmacy cost over $300 before insurance.

That’s a 6,000% markup.

[albummemesyeehaw]

[secifosseluce]

quick, tell me the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten. my doctor told me i have impeccable eardrums 

[drakatzen]

my dentist once told me (in an appreciative tone) that i have huge neanderthal-like canine teeth

[secifosseluce]

oh i AM losing my mind over this 

[78nanosieverts]

I have frequently had doctors complain to me that I have tiny ear canals and like

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information besides apologize for providing a subpar patient experience?

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

When I had surgery, the anesthesiologist had me open up my mouth so they could “see what they were working with” when they intubated me and they were like “oh nice, lots of room! [assistant] come look!” And the assistant came to look down my throat and was like “nice” 😂

[yidquotes]

My wife, when we were first dating, told me I reminded her of a walrus, you know, a really pretty one.

[physticuffs]

a dancer once told me i had beautiful achilles tendons. (they are v long, i think. i have always been able to squat with my feet flat on the floor with no practice, which is unusual for americans.)

my doctor told me that my blood pressure is excellent, like yes i’m young and healthy but i have blood pressure out of a medical textbook, and i told my mom that and my mom said oh yes, you have genetically perfect blood pressure. you inherited it from my side of the family.

[despazito]

A mortician told me my skintone is so pale I’d be a pain in the ass to embalm

[eusociality]

A yoga instructor complimented me on having “stretchy hips” - I’m not overall flexible I just apparently accidentally trained myself to be a master of all hip opening yoga poses by sitting in the weirdest ways possible at home.

[ehlbee]

My sonographer exclaimed that I have “the cutest little uterus” while giving me an ultrasound.

[pastrygeckos]

I once went to a doctor for hip pain, she proceeded to lay me down and stretch my legs all kinds of ways, going “wow you’re so flexible, I guess you’re fine”. I’m hypermobile.

[followthebluebell]

I have excellent veins. “Very juicy,” said the nice totally-not-a-vampire nurse taking my blood for a hormonal panel.

[pangur-and-grim]

a hairdresser once got legitimately aggrieved with me because my hair follicles are densely packed (as though if she frowned hard enough I’d relent and space them out properly?)

[sarcastic-and-witty-username]

My dentist once compared my jaw muscles with David Hasselhoff's biceps. I don't think it was a compliment tho.

[phantombreadproject]

My mom is turning 46 tomorrow and I'll never make a cake as funny as this again

[cageyperry]

Ready for spring