Esoteric

secular witch | tarot & astrology | bipolar 1 diagnosed & medicated | feminist & lgbtq friendly | personal blog 18+

[saturnine22]

Welcome!

I'm Lily / Lia. You can also call me saturnine.

I'm 28. I was born on a Monday, and on the winter solstice, 22nd of December.

My notable birth placements are: Capricorn sun 12h & ascendant, Libra moon 9h, and Aquarius mars-venus-uranus stellium 1h. I also have neptune conjunct my ascendant.

I am a secular witch, and I use both tarot and astrology as tools for divination and self-discovery. More recently I developed a deep interest in Jungian psychology and psychological astrology.

I am diagnosed bipolar type 1 with psychotic features and currently take meds to manage my symptoms.

I am just returning to spirituality after some time away. If you want to learn more about my experience with mental illness, religion, and spirituality, please read this post.

This blog is proudly feminist and lgbtq+ friendly! Feel free to reach out and message me, but assholes need not interact.

If you're a minor and I accidentally followed you, please block me. This blog is 18+ only. I do not wish to interact with minors.

[creature-wizard]

"Women are warm and nurturing and they have powerful intuitions!" is benevolent sexism. Benevolent sexism upholds misogyny by praising women for things women are "supposed" to be good at and romanticizing roles women are "supposed" to play under a patriarchal system.

[lovesjustachemical]

Also, like, benevolent sexist stereotypes are definitely used to make those who don't fit them feel like failures as women (especially queer women/trans women/woc/neurodivergent women/etc).

And on the flip side, they're also used to deny women who are skilled at those things credit for their accomplishments. It's easy for people to dismiss an excellent childcare worker when her "~magical gender intuition makes her naturally good at it~".

[sensoryoverloadistry]

“But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior – women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?”

-Ursula K Le Guin

[saturnine22]

[msscorpiomoon]

[vesperynne]

tiny money jars worked immediately that it scared me :')

ingredients

bay leaf (abundance)

white rice grains (prosperity)

salt (cleansing, protection)

thyme (purification, protection)

moonstone (manifestation)

white quartz (amplifier, cleansing, protection)

i sealed the top off with a green paper and used green ink to write my sigil (amplification), then tied it off. all the ingredients used are just things lying around the house. one of them is placed on my table where i work, and the other is something i can bring around.

i used a lot of protection symbols because i realized that there are so many ways to earn money if you trade off your peace, energy, and integrity. i could be hired into a good-paying job that takes advantage of me, come across opportunities to steal from others, or get a high-paying client that disrespects me – those are things i didn't want to happen.

cleansing motifs are to clear up the factors that prevent the spell from working as you'd like.

supporting spells. put a bayleaf with a fehu rune written on it in places where you typically put your money in (e.g., wallet, coin purse, coin bank).

testimony. roughly 3 hours later, i slept and woke in the middle of the night to a text from someone who ordered from my small business, who paid immediately :') a few days later, my aunt deposited me some money for allowance about the same amount (thank you, auntie). customers in my business increased but also not as stressful for me. more monetary opportunities came my way, though i did not say "yes" to most of them.

feel free to follow this spell or add your own twist to it ♡

[saturnine22]

And she's sooo back! After a week of struggling with my intuition and spirituality, I'm slowly feeling receptive to intuitive guidance and confirmation. While practicing with my cards reading energetically for other people today, I decided to read one for myself. I had asked for specific, relevant messages in my life right now. And I thought, I've been doing a lot of introspection lately, I'm basically the Hermit, and I shuffled my cards and it was the first card that came out! That was confirmation for me of what I'm already feeling, and a sign that I am slowly getting back to that mental, emotional, and spiritual space. I have cleansed the blocked energies, just like what I prayed for during the full moon. I have renewed my belief in the spirit and my guides. I'm rebuilding my relationship with the my inner self, and consequently, my tarot cards and practice. I thanked my spirit guides for guidance and continued reading.

Another confirmation I received is the message of meditation. I've been working really hard to connect with my spirituality (7 of Wands), and I have prayed, meditated, cleansed, ritualized - these are only some of the practices I've engaged in lately. I am asked to meditate more to deepen my intuition and develop my path. I had asked further about this, and it said to let go of practices I no longer resonate with (5 of Cups reversed) and to keep grounded in reality and the material world (Queen of Pentacles).

As with the rest of the reading, currently there is an ex that keeps pulling on my energy (Knight of Cups reversed). This is true. The card came out and I immediately thought of a name. He is still attached to me, or he thinks I have control over him (the Devil). We still talk though I have mentioned I am trying to walk away from this relationship (8 of Cups) because I know it no longer serves my highest good. I'm essentially emotionally closed off at the moment (Queen of Cups reversed) not just to him but relationships in general. I had already discussed this with him, but he seems persistent. I had asked the cards what does he want from me, and I heard distraction from work (8 of Pentacles), but also hope and healing (the Star). Overall the energy that came out was reception (6 of Pentacles), and I see that's exactly what he wants.

I tend to read my cards very literally and I like it that way because the story becomes clearer. It's also most useful in predictive readings. I feel I am able to provide more accurate and resonant readings this way. Of course there is so much more to the surface. But it's going to take me more meditative practice to get to that.

Essentially what I'm trying to do is see myself in the cards - that's how I know I'm spiritually connected. If the ideas and intuition flow then I know that I'm in that head and heart space. The tarot serves as a tool of confirmation for me of how I'm already feeling, and by extension, a language of symbols by which my higher self or mind surfaces/ mirrors itself to divine/ predict certain events or outcomes. We'll see how it goes the more I practice.

[saturnine22]

Saturnine 🌝 🌕

[saturnine22]

Offered new flowers on my altar. I picked yellow and lavender for vitality and spirituality. I did not know they were called chrysanthemum or typically used as flowers for the dead until later on. I also don't mind. I honor the spirits that have passed on, including my ancestors. Plus I thought they looked pretty.

I also got a new agate necklace, which I made into a protective talisman, and charged under the full moon. I didn't know it was a banded agate when I picked this intuitively. For me, it brings protection, grounding, and good luck. I was drawn to its color and unusual shape and setting, which adds a nice rustic personality to the stone.

[onetrackminded]

excluding psychotic people from engaging in witchcraft, spiritual practice and religion is really fucked you guys

it's not even under the guise of wanting to prevent spiritual psychosis because that can happen to neurotypicals too

also we're already in those spaces anyhow; you think it's a coincidence that every witch you meet is a weird little goblin person that sees spirits out the corner of their eye sometimes? c'moonnn

[hallow-witxh]

A gentle reminder

Your practice doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be aesthetically pleasing. It doesn't have to involve expensive crystals, rare herbs you have to special order, or five, six, ten-card draws.

Your practice is not meant to wipe you out until you're completely broke: emotionally, physically, mentally, or financially. You are allowed to practice at your own pace, within your own allowances. All of these complicated, aesthetically pleasing, expensive rituals and spells you see on tiktok and instagram and tumblr are pretty to see and maybe fun to imagine doing, but it's okay if you just can't. It's okay if you don't have a pretty decanter for your moon water or fancy bottles for oils. It's okay, I promise!

Use dollar store herbs and spices. Recycle sauce jars as spell jars. Make moon water in a milk jug or bucket. Use birthday cake candles because they're cheap and quick-burning. Paint runes on your baked bread with melted butter instead of struggling to carve a rune into the store-bought dough. Draw runes with a white crayon on your white walls. Put a jar of garden dirt on your altar, if you have one. Do the easy things. Do the things that won't get ten thousand likes or retweets or reblogs.

What matters most is how you feel, how your craft reacts to you, and how you react to your craft. Just keep that in mind whenever you see a beautiful post and think wow, I wish I could do that. And remember, don't believe everything you see online - I know damn well that some of those aesthetic posts are just set-ups for likes and reblogs.

Be kind to yourself. Always. Even if no one or nothing else is kind to you, show yourself the kindness you need and deserve.

Support your local witch on Ko-Fi!

[nonalimmen]

© Nona Limmen {via Instagram}

[saturnine22]

Full Moon in Sagittarius

Tonight I placed my protective talisman, crystal jewelry, and the glamour spell jar I made under the light of the full moon. I wrote down my intentions and prayed over them.

As a Capricorn Sun and Capricorn Rising, this Sagittarius Full Moon illuminates my 12th house. I spent time reflecting on my spiritual path and what has been holding me back.

I prayed for any blockages in my spirituality to be cleared. I asked for guidance, stronger intuition, deeper insight, and a clearer connection to my practice. I prayed to become more aware of the signs, messages, and lessons that may already be around me but that I have not yet learned to recognize.

I also prayed for my psychic abilities to develop in a way that is grounded, safe, and aligned with my highest good. More than anything, I asked for a deeper understanding of my connection to the world around me and to the things that cannot always be seen or explained.

I hope this full moon brings clarity, growth, and a stronger sense of trust in myself and my path.

[saturnine22]

Witches I need your help

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm feeling so tired. I've been sleeping all day, and I still feel exhausted. I'm not sick or anything, just my energy feels down. How do I know what's happening or causing this? Is there any magick or ritual I can do to help make me feel better?

I can't use my cards, I had given up trying to read them. I feel so disconnected from myself. I try to meditate but I don't feel anything.

Any advice?

[saturnine22]

To be honest I'm having a hard time reconnecting with my intuition. Today I offered to read cards for two of my family members, and I was not getting anything. My mind went blank, and I could not feel anything. Besides the typical meanings from tarot that I know from memory, I could not get any messages intuitively, nor read their energy.

Typically, before, when I would read cards some years ago, the images would just jump out at me and I would say words that resonate quickly with the person I am reading for. I would look at a spread, and I would immediately get the story being told. That was at the height of my intuition and psychic abilities, I think, and I have been trying hard to get back to that space, but it just won't come back.

It's a horrible feeling, and I begin to think (and others might also) that I am a fraud. I believe the meds might have something to do with this. It is keeping me from accessing my intuitive abilities, or drawing patterns from stories or images. Now I am very pro-meds and pro-recovery, and I do not even consider stopping my medication anytime soon (because the last time I did that I went into a brief psychosis), but this is not helping me progress in my spiritual path at all.

So I am working even harder to explore ways to deepen my spirituality:

Intuition - Deep meditation, contemplation, and visualization are tools to accessing greater intuition, reaching higher levels of consciousness, and connecting with the divine and universe.

Tarot - reviewing and reflecting/ meditating on the meanings of the 78 cards. It may help to keep a tarot journal to record my meditations and findings.

Astrology - getting comfortable reading birth charts of people I know; reading on the meanings and interpreting them.

Witchcraft - engaging in simple rituals that help me get in touch with my spirit and relax my mind and body.

Mindfulness and greater awareness in the spiritual connections and interconnectedness of everyday life.

I am hoping that this is just a phase, and I will come out of this soon. I'm open to any advice from the witchcraft community.

[academic-vampire]

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔬𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔬𝔰

[dogmanoir]

Close up of witches dancing by Dogma Noir

[verumex]