Remember the Old Gods

main blog is @im-bad-at-names-okay

[scorch-offical]

Intro post!

Hi, I’m Belatrix Lilith LaRue, but everyone just calls me Scorch! Or Bella, or Lily, or Rue! Whatever you like best!

About me:

I’m a rebellious punk, but only in the words of other people. My family is rich and stuffy, so I’m the opposite!! Fuck ICE, fuck Trump, fuck capitalism, fuck fruit-flavored soda.

Age: 15

Sexuality: Bisexual!!

Gender: Girl

Pronouns: She/her

Likes: Punk, rock, metal, gaming, piracy, the occasional book, the occult

Dislikes: The aforementioned plus slip on shoes, litter, cops, TERFs, and fruit flavored soda!

I also burn people to death in sacrifice to the old gods!

HA! You probably believed that!

@killer-offical— my partner in crime!!

@crime-god-offical— my best friend. I’m her priestess!

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[old-gods-offical]

what

[scorch-offical]

Who is this? I don’t think we have yet been acquainted.

[old-gods-offical]

What are you a cop?

[scorch-offical]

No, I just like to know who I’m speaking to. You sound like you know how difficult the likes of you can be.

[face-taker-offical-rp]

what?

[old-gods-offical]

Fuck wrong blog

@scorch-offical

[scorch-offical]

I know there are 24 of you, but, until now, I had only met the main six, and you deal with each of them very differently.

[old-gods-offical]

Look I’m just the intern or whatever ok

[scorch-offical]

Why are the Core busy? What’s wrong?!

[old-gods-offical]

idk man what do you want

[scorch-offical]

To talk to one of The Core.

[old-gods-offical]

no can do

[scorch-offical]

Why!?

[old-gods-offical]

I don’t wanna

[scorch-offical]

I literally burned you an offering, you owe it to me, contractually and inexorably.

[old-gods-offical]

GoodbyeeeEEEEeeeeee

[scorch-offical]

You could get terminated for this, and you know it!

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[old-gods-offical]

what

[scorch-offical]

Who is this? I don’t think we have yet been acquainted.

[old-gods-offical]

What are you a cop?

[scorch-offical]

No, I just like to know who I’m speaking to. You sound like you know how difficult the likes of you can be.

[face-taker-offical-rp]

what?

[old-gods-offical]

Fuck wrong blog

@scorch-offical

[scorch-offical]

I know there are 24 of you, but, until now, I had only met the main six, and you deal with each of them very differently.

[old-gods-offical]

Look I’m just the intern or whatever ok

[scorch-offical]

Why are the Core busy? What’s wrong?!

[old-gods-offical]

idk man what do you want

[scorch-offical]

To talk to one of The Core.

[old-gods-offical]

no can do

[scorch-offical]

Why!?

[old-gods-offical]

I don’t wanna

[scorch-offical]

I literally burned you an offering, you owe it to me, contractually and inexorably.

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[old-gods-offical]

what

[scorch-offical]

Who is this? I don’t think we have yet been acquainted.

[old-gods-offical]

What are you a cop?

[scorch-offical]

No, I just like to know who I’m speaking to. You sound like you know how difficult the likes of you can be.

[face-taker-offical-rp]

what?

[old-gods-offical]

Fuck wrong blog

@scorch-offical

[scorch-offical]

I know there are 24 of you, but, until now, I had only met the main six, and you deal with each of them very differently.

[old-gods-offical]

Look I’m just the intern or whatever ok

[scorch-offical]

Why are the Core busy? What’s wrong?!

[old-gods-offical]

idk man what do you want

[scorch-offical]

To talk to one of The Core.

[old-gods-offical]

no can do

[scorch-offical]

Why!?

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[old-gods-offical]

what

[scorch-offical]

Who is this? I don’t think we have yet been acquainted.

[old-gods-offical]

What are you a cop?

[scorch-offical]

No, I just like to know who I’m speaking to. You sound like you know how difficult the likes of you can be.

[face-taker-offical-rp]

what?

[old-gods-offical]

Fuck wrong blog

@scorch-offical

[scorch-offical]

I know there are 24 of you, but, until now, I had only met the main six, and you deal with each of them very differently.

[old-gods-offical]

Look I’m just the intern or whatever ok

[scorch-offical]

Why are the Core busy? What’s wrong?!

[old-gods-offical]

idk man what do you want

[scorch-offical]

To talk to one of The Core.

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[old-gods-offical]

what

[scorch-offical]

Who is this? I don’t think we have yet been acquainted.

[old-gods-offical]

What are you a cop?

[scorch-offical]

No, I just like to know who I’m speaking to. You sound like you know how difficult the likes of you can be.

[face-taker-offical-rp]

what?

[old-gods-offical]

Fuck wrong blog

@scorch-offical

[scorch-offical]

I know there are 24 of you, but, until now, I had only met the main six, and you deal with each of them very differently.

[old-gods-offical]

Look I’m just the intern or whatever ok

[scorch-offical]

Why are the Core busy? What’s wrong?!

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[old-gods-offical]

what

[scorch-offical]

Who is this? I don’t think we have yet been acquainted.

[old-gods-offical]

What are you a cop?

[scorch-offical]

No, I just like to know who I’m speaking to. You sound like you know how difficult the likes of you can be.

[face-taker-offical-rp]

what?

[old-gods-offical]

Fuck wrong blog

@scorch-offical

[scorch-offical]

I know there are 24 of you, but, until now, I had only met the main six, and you deal with each of them very differently.

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[old-gods-offical]

what

[scorch-offical]

Who is this? I don’t think we have yet been acquainted.

[old-gods-offical]

What are you a cop?

[scorch-offical]

No, I just like to know who I’m speaking to. You sound like you know how difficult the likes of you can be.

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[old-gods-offical]

what

[scorch-offical]

Who is this? I don’t think we have yet been acquainted.

[old-gods-offical]

O, great Old Gods, I come to you with a query.

Do you accept my offering?

*At her feet is a corpse, charred to a crisp*

— @scorch-offical

yeah sure or whatever

[scorch-offical]

O-oh?

[hera-official]

*starts stabbing Hera in the calf repeatedly*

— @scorch-offical

*Hera pushes her off* What the hell?

[scorch-offical]

>:3

you gods dont feel pain from mortal weapons!

it seemed fun!

[hera-official]

Oh. Well, yeah, but you'd get blood everywhere. I'm wearing white, kid.

[scorch-offical]

Pleasseeeeee???

[hera-official]

... *She sighs* Fine.

[scorch-offical]

YES!

*keeps stabbing your calf*

[hera-official]

*Hera continues doing whatever she was doing*

[scorch-offical]

you’re kinda sexy.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

What.

[scorch-offical]

you heard me.

[hera-official]

...

You're too young for me, kid.

[scorch-offical]

but all of your brothers are fair game?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That's different.

[scorch-offical]

okay, why is incest fine?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

*She frowned* What's incest?

[scorch-offical]

*Explains while stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Oh.

Yeah.

That makes sense, actually.

I never realized we gods were that disgusting...

[scorch-offical]

Yeah.

*keeps stabbing her*

But anyway yeah.

You’re kinda sexy.

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid. But you're still too young.

[scorch-offical]

I wasn’t saying I wanted to fuck!

Can’t a girl just compliment a goddess without it being weird?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can, but I've had many mortals try to flirt with me.

I'm done with flirting and dating for awhile.

[scorch-offical]

Hell yeah, go off queen!

*keeps stabbing her*

[hera-official]

What does 'go off' mean?

[scorch-offical]

Uhhh

it’s a combination of you do you and fuck yeah?

[hera-official]

Ah. Mortal words are strange.

[scorch-offical]

And gods aren’t?

*keeps stabbing Hera’s calf*

[hera-official]

No, not that I can see.

[scorch-offical]

Uhuh.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

What's that supposed to mean?

[scorch-offical]

You guys are weirdos too.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

Not as weird as mortals. You watch video's of cats doing random stuff.

[scorch-offical]

You turn into geese to fuck mortals.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, Zeus is an exception. He is weird.

[scorch-offical]

And Hermes?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

He's a child of Zeus.

[scorch-offical]

What about your thing with disco and stripping that started before humans invented either?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Okay, fine you've made your point.

[scorch-offical]

Thank you!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

You having fun down there?

[scorch-offical]

ye >:3

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Why do you like stabbing so much anyway?

[scorch-offical]

your calves are just like, the perfect shape for stabbing, yknow?

[hera-official]

Thanks? I guess?

[scorch-offical]

yeah!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you stab gods a lot?

[scorch-offical]

No, you’re the first.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'm honored?

[scorch-offical]

So am I!!

[hera-official]

...

Wanna go grab icecream?

[scorch-offical]

Sure, if i can keep stabbing you.

[hera-official]

Of course!

[scorch-offical]

YES LETS GO!

[hera-official]

What flavour do you want?

[scorch-offical]

Cookies and cream!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'll get... strawberry.

[scorch-offical]

Ew, a fruit flavor?

[hera-official]

PC said it's what tastes most like Ambrosia.

[scorch-offical]

Whatever.

[hera-official]

Attitude. *She teased*

[scorch-offical]

Right, and stabbing someone repeatedly is a emotionally regular thing to do.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good point.

[scorch-offical]

You’re chill for letting me tho :3

*stabby stab stab*

[hera-official]

You're welcome.

[scorch-offical]

eheheheheheh

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You're gonna have to clean the blood, though...

[scorch-offical]

only when i stop, so i’ll just never stop

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

... I could make you stop. Somehow.

[scorch-offical]

i’m just a kid tho!

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That means I can put you in time out.

[scorch-offical]

you wouldn’t.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

I would.

[scorch-offical]

i thought you loved me, what sort of betrayal is this??

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

It's called tough love. Or something.

[scorch-offical]

…i was joking, we just met.

but…

sure

*keeps stabbing*

[stawpicouldadroppedmacroissant]

We still haven't gotten icecream.

[scorch-offical]

then let’s fucking go!!

[hera-official]

Languag.

[scorch-offical]

whyyy?

[hera-official]

Because I said so.

[scorch-offical]

fiiine let’s just get ice cream already

[hera-official]

Alright.

*Goes to get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

*follows, continuing to stabby*

[hera-official]

*They get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

Mmm this is good!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

It is.

Refreshing too.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah! Almost as refreshing as this

*more stabbies obviously*

[hera-official]

What's your favourite food?

[scorch-offical]

Ribs!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

That's cool.

[scorch-offical]

How about you?

*stab*

[hera-official]

Hm... Ambrosia, probably.

[scorch-offical]

That’s cheating!!

*more stabs*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

EVERYONE knows ambrosia is the best food ever!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, then... Chicken, maybe?

[scorch-offical]

BOOORING

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Then what should I answer, hm?

[scorch-offical]

you’re old, what did, like, dodo taste like?

[hera-official]

Horrible.

[scorch-offical]

Oh, damn

What about, like, mammoth?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Hm... Average. But maybe that's because Zeus cooked it.

[scorch-offical]

what other stuff have you tried?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Don't tell PC, but I've tried dinosaur once. It was pretty good.

[scorch-offical]

WAHT?!

PC gave me a dinosaur!

[hera-official]

That's why I said don't tell them.

[scorch-offical]

Fair enough.

You’re… really awesome.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid.

[scorch-offical]

I’m confused.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

I dunno, I’ve just never felt this way about someone, especially not a god.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

What way? *Hera asked gently*

[scorch-offical]

I don’t know.

It’s not romantic, but it’s not friendly, either.

[hera-official]

*She hummed* Can you describe it?

[scorch-offical]

I want to be swaddled, and hugged, and comforted, and taken care of.

[hera-official]

Ah. You feel... daughterly.

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... You want to be taken care of. Like a daughter.

[scorch-offical]

I mean, I have a family.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you like that family?

[scorch-offical]

Fuck no!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

That explains a lot.

*Hera stayed silent for awhile* Want me to adopt you?

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... So that I'm your new mom.

[scorch-offical]

I have a mom, and she’s rich, and she gives me money.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Does she love you?

[scorch-offical]

I… think?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Well, I can love you enough so you know. And I'm also rich, so win-win.

[scorch-offical]

Well… I still benefit from being their kid.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can have two moms. You'll just have to have me as a favourite...

[scorch-offical]

I like that, actually

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good. *She snaps her fingers* You're now my adopted kid. Technically a god, too. Not if you don't want to, though.

[scorch-offical]

WAIT A GOD?!

[hera-official]

Yeah. Not as powerful, though. More like... a demigod.

[scorch-offical]

Cool!

Thanks… mom.

*she covers her mouth with one hand as she continues stabbing, but she’s clearly grinning hugely*

[hera-official]

You're welcome, kid. *Hera smiles down at her*

[scorch-offical]

*Suddenly, Scorch stops stabbing and hugs Hera’s leg, getting her golden blood all over herself*

[hera-official]

*SHe chuckled* You're getting blood all over you, hun.

[scorch-offical]

Eh, it’s all gold and stuff, so it’s cool.

You’re very tall, can you shrink?

[hera-official]

*She snapped her fingers again and turned into a shorter version of herself.*

[scorch-offical]

Oh, good, you’re human sized now.

*hugs Hera full on*

[hera-official]

*She hugs her back* Love you, kid.

[scorch-offical]

*Still hugging*

Wait… is PC MY AUNT NOW?!

[hera-official]

Technically, yes, but you can treat her as you wish. I don't treat her like I treat Hades or Hestia either, she's more like an actual younger sibling. I'm also nicer to her, than to the others. *she joked*

[scorch-offical]

Okay, I just don’t want them to see me differently.

[hera-official]

They won't. Trust me.

[scorch-offical]

…could you explain to them, just in case?

[hera-official]

Hm. Okay.

[scorch-offical]

Thanks, mom

*she suddenly notices a knife in her back*

[hera-official]

You're welc- Seriously?

[scorch-offical]

Love you mom!

[hera-official]

*She sighs fondly* Love you too.

[scorch-offical]

:33333

so! what cool god powers do i have, besides the ones I got from Scorch?

[hera-official]

No idea. You might have to try out some stuff.

[scorch-offical]

Well, what do you even do besides marriage?

[hera-official]

Curse people, bless people, make people go mad, summon storms.

[scorch-offical]

I thought Poseidon did storms?

[hera-official]

I do it on a smaller scale.

[scorch-offical]

Hm.

Hey, can I have a mortal test subject?

[hera-official]

Sure. There's this mortal who thinks he's a god in a country called United States of America.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah, I live there.

[hera-official]

Use him as a test subject.

[scorch-offical]

Too high profile

[hera-official]

True... I can find some other weirdo.

[scorch-offical]

You’d do that for me?

[hera-official]

Yeah, of course.

[scorch-offical]

YAYAYAYAYA

Who’s my target??

[hera-official]

I found another child of Zeus. Target him.

[scorch-offical]

Gimme >::3

[hera-official]

He's walking over there. *She points at a person walking not much further*

[scorch-offical]

…Damn.

[hera-official]

What are you waiting for?

[scorch-offical]

He’s kinda hot.

[hera-official]

... He's a child of Zeus. He's an asshole, most certainly.

[scorch-offical]

Was Thalia?

[hera-official]

I've never met her.

[scorch-offical]

Well how about Jason Grace?

[hera-official]

Hm... I don't remember him that well.

[scorch-offical]

They were both great fucking people.

[hera-official]

*starts stabbing Hera in the calf repeatedly*

— @scorch-offical

*Hera pushes her off* What the hell?

[scorch-offical]

>:3

you gods dont feel pain from mortal weapons!

it seemed fun!

[hera-official]

Oh. Well, yeah, but you'd get blood everywhere. I'm wearing white, kid.

[scorch-offical]

Pleasseeeeee???

[hera-official]

... *She sighs* Fine.

[scorch-offical]

YES!

*keeps stabbing your calf*

[hera-official]

*Hera continues doing whatever she was doing*

[scorch-offical]

you’re kinda sexy.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

What.

[scorch-offical]

you heard me.

[hera-official]

...

You're too young for me, kid.

[scorch-offical]

but all of your brothers are fair game?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That's different.

[scorch-offical]

okay, why is incest fine?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

*She frowned* What's incest?

[scorch-offical]

*Explains while stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Oh.

Yeah.

That makes sense, actually.

I never realized we gods were that disgusting...

[scorch-offical]

Yeah.

*keeps stabbing her*

But anyway yeah.

You’re kinda sexy.

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid. But you're still too young.

[scorch-offical]

I wasn’t saying I wanted to fuck!

Can’t a girl just compliment a goddess without it being weird?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can, but I've had many mortals try to flirt with me.

I'm done with flirting and dating for awhile.

[scorch-offical]

Hell yeah, go off queen!

*keeps stabbing her*

[hera-official]

What does 'go off' mean?

[scorch-offical]

Uhhh

it’s a combination of you do you and fuck yeah?

[hera-official]

Ah. Mortal words are strange.

[scorch-offical]

And gods aren’t?

*keeps stabbing Hera’s calf*

[hera-official]

No, not that I can see.

[scorch-offical]

Uhuh.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

What's that supposed to mean?

[scorch-offical]

You guys are weirdos too.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

Not as weird as mortals. You watch video's of cats doing random stuff.

[scorch-offical]

You turn into geese to fuck mortals.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, Zeus is an exception. He is weird.

[scorch-offical]

And Hermes?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

He's a child of Zeus.

[scorch-offical]

What about your thing with disco and stripping that started before humans invented either?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Okay, fine you've made your point.

[scorch-offical]

Thank you!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

You having fun down there?

[scorch-offical]

ye >:3

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Why do you like stabbing so much anyway?

[scorch-offical]

your calves are just like, the perfect shape for stabbing, yknow?

[hera-official]

Thanks? I guess?

[scorch-offical]

yeah!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you stab gods a lot?

[scorch-offical]

No, you’re the first.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'm honored?

[scorch-offical]

So am I!!

[hera-official]

...

Wanna go grab icecream?

[scorch-offical]

Sure, if i can keep stabbing you.

[hera-official]

Of course!

[scorch-offical]

YES LETS GO!

[hera-official]

What flavour do you want?

[scorch-offical]

Cookies and cream!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'll get... strawberry.

[scorch-offical]

Ew, a fruit flavor?

[hera-official]

PC said it's what tastes most like Ambrosia.

[scorch-offical]

Whatever.

[hera-official]

Attitude. *She teased*

[scorch-offical]

Right, and stabbing someone repeatedly is a emotionally regular thing to do.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good point.

[scorch-offical]

You’re chill for letting me tho :3

*stabby stab stab*

[hera-official]

You're welcome.

[scorch-offical]

eheheheheheh

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You're gonna have to clean the blood, though...

[scorch-offical]

only when i stop, so i’ll just never stop

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

... I could make you stop. Somehow.

[scorch-offical]

i’m just a kid tho!

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That means I can put you in time out.

[scorch-offical]

you wouldn’t.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

I would.

[scorch-offical]

i thought you loved me, what sort of betrayal is this??

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

It's called tough love. Or something.

[scorch-offical]

…i was joking, we just met.

but…

sure

*keeps stabbing*

[stawpicouldadroppedmacroissant]

We still haven't gotten icecream.

[scorch-offical]

then let’s fucking go!!

[hera-official]

Languag.

[scorch-offical]

whyyy?

[hera-official]

Because I said so.

[scorch-offical]

fiiine let’s just get ice cream already

[hera-official]

Alright.

*Goes to get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

*follows, continuing to stabby*

[hera-official]

*They get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

Mmm this is good!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

It is.

Refreshing too.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah! Almost as refreshing as this

*more stabbies obviously*

[hera-official]

What's your favourite food?

[scorch-offical]

Ribs!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

That's cool.

[scorch-offical]

How about you?

*stab*

[hera-official]

Hm... Ambrosia, probably.

[scorch-offical]

That’s cheating!!

*more stabs*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

EVERYONE knows ambrosia is the best food ever!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, then... Chicken, maybe?

[scorch-offical]

BOOORING

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Then what should I answer, hm?

[scorch-offical]

you’re old, what did, like, dodo taste like?

[hera-official]

Horrible.

[scorch-offical]

Oh, damn

What about, like, mammoth?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Hm... Average. But maybe that's because Zeus cooked it.

[scorch-offical]

what other stuff have you tried?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Don't tell PC, but I've tried dinosaur once. It was pretty good.

[scorch-offical]

WAHT?!

PC gave me a dinosaur!

[hera-official]

That's why I said don't tell them.

[scorch-offical]

Fair enough.

You’re… really awesome.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid.

[scorch-offical]

I’m confused.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

I dunno, I’ve just never felt this way about someone, especially not a god.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

What way? *Hera asked gently*

[scorch-offical]

I don’t know.

It’s not romantic, but it’s not friendly, either.

[hera-official]

*She hummed* Can you describe it?

[scorch-offical]

I want to be swaddled, and hugged, and comforted, and taken care of.

[hera-official]

Ah. You feel... daughterly.

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... You want to be taken care of. Like a daughter.

[scorch-offical]

I mean, I have a family.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you like that family?

[scorch-offical]

Fuck no!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

That explains a lot.

*Hera stayed silent for awhile* Want me to adopt you?

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... So that I'm your new mom.

[scorch-offical]

I have a mom, and she’s rich, and she gives me money.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Does she love you?

[scorch-offical]

I… think?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Well, I can love you enough so you know. And I'm also rich, so win-win.

[scorch-offical]

Well… I still benefit from being their kid.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can have two moms. You'll just have to have me as a favourite...

[scorch-offical]

I like that, actually

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good. *She snaps her fingers* You're now my adopted kid. Technically a god, too. Not if you don't want to, though.

[scorch-offical]

WAIT A GOD?!

[hera-official]

Yeah. Not as powerful, though. More like... a demigod.

[scorch-offical]

Cool!

Thanks… mom.

*she covers her mouth with one hand as she continues stabbing, but she’s clearly grinning hugely*

[hera-official]

You're welcome, kid. *Hera smiles down at her*

[scorch-offical]

*Suddenly, Scorch stops stabbing and hugs Hera’s leg, getting her golden blood all over herself*

[hera-official]

*SHe chuckled* You're getting blood all over you, hun.

[scorch-offical]

Eh, it’s all gold and stuff, so it’s cool.

You’re very tall, can you shrink?

[hera-official]

*She snapped her fingers again and turned into a shorter version of herself.*

[scorch-offical]

Oh, good, you’re human sized now.

*hugs Hera full on*

[hera-official]

*She hugs her back* Love you, kid.

[scorch-offical]

*Still hugging*

Wait… is PC MY AUNT NOW?!

[hera-official]

Technically, yes, but you can treat her as you wish. I don't treat her like I treat Hades or Hestia either, she's more like an actual younger sibling. I'm also nicer to her, than to the others. *she joked*

[scorch-offical]

Okay, I just don’t want them to see me differently.

[hera-official]

They won't. Trust me.

[scorch-offical]

…could you explain to them, just in case?

[hera-official]

Hm. Okay.

[scorch-offical]

Thanks, mom

*she suddenly notices a knife in her back*

[hera-official]

You're welc- Seriously?

[scorch-offical]

Love you mom!

[hera-official]

*She sighs fondly* Love you too.

[scorch-offical]

:33333

so! what cool god powers do i have, besides the ones I got from Scorch?

[hera-official]

No idea. You might have to try out some stuff.

[scorch-offical]

Well, what do you even do besides marriage?

[hera-official]

Curse people, bless people, make people go mad, summon storms.

[scorch-offical]

I thought Poseidon did storms?

[hera-official]

I do it on a smaller scale.

[scorch-offical]

Hm.

Hey, can I have a mortal test subject?

[hera-official]

Sure. There's this mortal who thinks he's a god in a country called United States of America.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah, I live there.

[hera-official]

Use him as a test subject.

[scorch-offical]

Too high profile

[hera-official]

True... I can find some other weirdo.

[scorch-offical]

You’d do that for me?

[hera-official]

Yeah, of course.

[scorch-offical]

YAYAYAYAYA

Who’s my target??

[hera-official]

I found another child of Zeus. Target him.

[scorch-offical]

Gimme >::3

[hera-official]

He's walking over there. *She points at a person walking not much further*

[scorch-offical]

…Damn.

[hera-official]

What are you waiting for?

[scorch-offical]

He’s kinda hot.

[hera-official]

... He's a child of Zeus. He's an asshole, most certainly.

[scorch-offical]

Was Thalia?

[hera-official]

I've never met her.

[scorch-offical]

Well how about Jason Grace?

[hera-official]

*starts stabbing Hera in the calf repeatedly*

— @scorch-offical

*Hera pushes her off* What the hell?

[scorch-offical]

>:3

you gods dont feel pain from mortal weapons!

it seemed fun!

[hera-official]

Oh. Well, yeah, but you'd get blood everywhere. I'm wearing white, kid.

[scorch-offical]

Pleasseeeeee???

[hera-official]

... *She sighs* Fine.

[scorch-offical]

YES!

*keeps stabbing your calf*

[hera-official]

*Hera continues doing whatever she was doing*

[scorch-offical]

you’re kinda sexy.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

What.

[scorch-offical]

you heard me.

[hera-official]

...

You're too young for me, kid.

[scorch-offical]

but all of your brothers are fair game?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That's different.

[scorch-offical]

okay, why is incest fine?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

*She frowned* What's incest?

[scorch-offical]

*Explains while stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Oh.

Yeah.

That makes sense, actually.

I never realized we gods were that disgusting...

[scorch-offical]

Yeah.

*keeps stabbing her*

But anyway yeah.

You’re kinda sexy.

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid. But you're still too young.

[scorch-offical]

I wasn’t saying I wanted to fuck!

Can’t a girl just compliment a goddess without it being weird?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can, but I've had many mortals try to flirt with me.

I'm done with flirting and dating for awhile.

[scorch-offical]

Hell yeah, go off queen!

*keeps stabbing her*

[hera-official]

What does 'go off' mean?

[scorch-offical]

Uhhh

it’s a combination of you do you and fuck yeah?

[hera-official]

Ah. Mortal words are strange.

[scorch-offical]

And gods aren’t?

*keeps stabbing Hera’s calf*

[hera-official]

No, not that I can see.

[scorch-offical]

Uhuh.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

What's that supposed to mean?

[scorch-offical]

You guys are weirdos too.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

Not as weird as mortals. You watch video's of cats doing random stuff.

[scorch-offical]

You turn into geese to fuck mortals.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, Zeus is an exception. He is weird.

[scorch-offical]

And Hermes?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

He's a child of Zeus.

[scorch-offical]

What about your thing with disco and stripping that started before humans invented either?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Okay, fine you've made your point.

[scorch-offical]

Thank you!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

You having fun down there?

[scorch-offical]

ye >:3

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Why do you like stabbing so much anyway?

[scorch-offical]

your calves are just like, the perfect shape for stabbing, yknow?

[hera-official]

Thanks? I guess?

[scorch-offical]

yeah!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you stab gods a lot?

[scorch-offical]

No, you’re the first.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'm honored?

[scorch-offical]

So am I!!

[hera-official]

...

Wanna go grab icecream?

[scorch-offical]

Sure, if i can keep stabbing you.

[hera-official]

Of course!

[scorch-offical]

YES LETS GO!

[hera-official]

What flavour do you want?

[scorch-offical]

Cookies and cream!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'll get... strawberry.

[scorch-offical]

Ew, a fruit flavor?

[hera-official]

PC said it's what tastes most like Ambrosia.

[scorch-offical]

Whatever.

[hera-official]

Attitude. *She teased*

[scorch-offical]

Right, and stabbing someone repeatedly is a emotionally regular thing to do.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good point.

[scorch-offical]

You’re chill for letting me tho :3

*stabby stab stab*

[hera-official]

You're welcome.

[scorch-offical]

eheheheheheh

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You're gonna have to clean the blood, though...

[scorch-offical]

only when i stop, so i’ll just never stop

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

... I could make you stop. Somehow.

[scorch-offical]

i’m just a kid tho!

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That means I can put you in time out.

[scorch-offical]

you wouldn’t.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

I would.

[scorch-offical]

i thought you loved me, what sort of betrayal is this??

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

It's called tough love. Or something.

[scorch-offical]

…i was joking, we just met.

but…

sure

*keeps stabbing*

[stawpicouldadroppedmacroissant]

We still haven't gotten icecream.

[scorch-offical]

then let’s fucking go!!

[hera-official]

Languag.

[scorch-offical]

whyyy?

[hera-official]

Because I said so.

[scorch-offical]

fiiine let’s just get ice cream already

[hera-official]

Alright.

*Goes to get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

*follows, continuing to stabby*

[hera-official]

*They get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

Mmm this is good!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

It is.

Refreshing too.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah! Almost as refreshing as this

*more stabbies obviously*

[hera-official]

What's your favourite food?

[scorch-offical]

Ribs!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

That's cool.

[scorch-offical]

How about you?

*stab*

[hera-official]

Hm... Ambrosia, probably.

[scorch-offical]

That’s cheating!!

*more stabs*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

EVERYONE knows ambrosia is the best food ever!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, then... Chicken, maybe?

[scorch-offical]

BOOORING

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Then what should I answer, hm?

[scorch-offical]

you’re old, what did, like, dodo taste like?

[hera-official]

Horrible.

[scorch-offical]

Oh, damn

What about, like, mammoth?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Hm... Average. But maybe that's because Zeus cooked it.

[scorch-offical]

what other stuff have you tried?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Don't tell PC, but I've tried dinosaur once. It was pretty good.

[scorch-offical]

WAHT?!

PC gave me a dinosaur!

[hera-official]

That's why I said don't tell them.

[scorch-offical]

Fair enough.

You’re… really awesome.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid.

[scorch-offical]

I’m confused.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

I dunno, I’ve just never felt this way about someone, especially not a god.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

What way? *Hera asked gently*

[scorch-offical]

I don’t know.

It’s not romantic, but it’s not friendly, either.

[hera-official]

*She hummed* Can you describe it?

[scorch-offical]

I want to be swaddled, and hugged, and comforted, and taken care of.

[hera-official]

Ah. You feel... daughterly.

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... You want to be taken care of. Like a daughter.

[scorch-offical]

I mean, I have a family.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you like that family?

[scorch-offical]

Fuck no!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

That explains a lot.

*Hera stayed silent for awhile* Want me to adopt you?

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... So that I'm your new mom.

[scorch-offical]

I have a mom, and she’s rich, and she gives me money.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Does she love you?

[scorch-offical]

I… think?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Well, I can love you enough so you know. And I'm also rich, so win-win.

[scorch-offical]

Well… I still benefit from being their kid.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can have two moms. You'll just have to have me as a favourite...

[scorch-offical]

I like that, actually

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good. *She snaps her fingers* You're now my adopted kid. Technically a god, too. Not if you don't want to, though.

[scorch-offical]

WAIT A GOD?!

[hera-official]

Yeah. Not as powerful, though. More like... a demigod.

[scorch-offical]

Cool!

Thanks… mom.

*she covers her mouth with one hand as she continues stabbing, but she’s clearly grinning hugely*

[hera-official]

You're welcome, kid. *Hera smiles down at her*

[scorch-offical]

*Suddenly, Scorch stops stabbing and hugs Hera’s leg, getting her golden blood all over herself*

[hera-official]

*SHe chuckled* You're getting blood all over you, hun.

[scorch-offical]

Eh, it’s all gold and stuff, so it’s cool.

You’re very tall, can you shrink?

[hera-official]

*She snapped her fingers again and turned into a shorter version of herself.*

[scorch-offical]

Oh, good, you’re human sized now.

*hugs Hera full on*

[hera-official]

*She hugs her back* Love you, kid.

[scorch-offical]

*Still hugging*

Wait… is PC MY AUNT NOW?!

[hera-official]

Technically, yes, but you can treat her as you wish. I don't treat her like I treat Hades or Hestia either, she's more like an actual younger sibling. I'm also nicer to her, than to the others. *she joked*

[scorch-offical]

Okay, I just don’t want them to see me differently.

[hera-official]

They won't. Trust me.

[scorch-offical]

…could you explain to them, just in case?

[hera-official]

Hm. Okay.

[scorch-offical]

Thanks, mom

*she suddenly notices a knife in her back*

[hera-official]

You're welc- Seriously?

[scorch-offical]

Love you mom!

[hera-official]

*She sighs fondly* Love you too.

[scorch-offical]

:33333

so! what cool god powers do i have, besides the ones I got from Scorch?

[hera-official]

No idea. You might have to try out some stuff.

[scorch-offical]

Well, what do you even do besides marriage?

[hera-official]

Curse people, bless people, make people go mad, summon storms.

[scorch-offical]

I thought Poseidon did storms?

[hera-official]

I do it on a smaller scale.

[scorch-offical]

Hm.

Hey, can I have a mortal test subject?

[hera-official]

Sure. There's this mortal who thinks he's a god in a country called United States of America.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah, I live there.

[hera-official]

Use him as a test subject.

[scorch-offical]

Too high profile

[hera-official]

True... I can find some other weirdo.

[scorch-offical]

You’d do that for me?

[hera-official]

Yeah, of course.

[scorch-offical]

YAYAYAYAYA

Who’s my target??

[hera-official]

I found another child of Zeus. Target him.

[scorch-offical]

Gimme >::3

[hera-official]

He's walking over there. *She points at a person walking not much further*

[scorch-offical]

…Damn.

[hera-official]

What are you waiting for?

[scorch-offical]

He’s kinda hot.

[hera-official]

... He's a child of Zeus. He's an asshole, most certainly.

[scorch-offical]

Was Thalia?

[hera-official]

*starts stabbing Hera in the calf repeatedly*

— @scorch-offical

*Hera pushes her off* What the hell?

[scorch-offical]

>:3

you gods dont feel pain from mortal weapons!

it seemed fun!

[hera-official]

Oh. Well, yeah, but you'd get blood everywhere. I'm wearing white, kid.

[scorch-offical]

Pleasseeeeee???

[hera-official]

... *She sighs* Fine.

[scorch-offical]

YES!

*keeps stabbing your calf*

[hera-official]

*Hera continues doing whatever she was doing*

[scorch-offical]

you’re kinda sexy.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

What.

[scorch-offical]

you heard me.

[hera-official]

...

You're too young for me, kid.

[scorch-offical]

but all of your brothers are fair game?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That's different.

[scorch-offical]

okay, why is incest fine?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

*She frowned* What's incest?

[scorch-offical]

*Explains while stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Oh.

Yeah.

That makes sense, actually.

I never realized we gods were that disgusting...

[scorch-offical]

Yeah.

*keeps stabbing her*

But anyway yeah.

You’re kinda sexy.

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid. But you're still too young.

[scorch-offical]

I wasn’t saying I wanted to fuck!

Can’t a girl just compliment a goddess without it being weird?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can, but I've had many mortals try to flirt with me.

I'm done with flirting and dating for awhile.

[scorch-offical]

Hell yeah, go off queen!

*keeps stabbing her*

[hera-official]

What does 'go off' mean?

[scorch-offical]

Uhhh

it’s a combination of you do you and fuck yeah?

[hera-official]

Ah. Mortal words are strange.

[scorch-offical]

And gods aren’t?

*keeps stabbing Hera’s calf*

[hera-official]

No, not that I can see.

[scorch-offical]

Uhuh.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

What's that supposed to mean?

[scorch-offical]

You guys are weirdos too.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

Not as weird as mortals. You watch video's of cats doing random stuff.

[scorch-offical]

You turn into geese to fuck mortals.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, Zeus is an exception. He is weird.

[scorch-offical]

And Hermes?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

He's a child of Zeus.

[scorch-offical]

What about your thing with disco and stripping that started before humans invented either?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Okay, fine you've made your point.

[scorch-offical]

Thank you!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

You having fun down there?

[scorch-offical]

ye >:3

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Why do you like stabbing so much anyway?

[scorch-offical]

your calves are just like, the perfect shape for stabbing, yknow?

[hera-official]

Thanks? I guess?

[scorch-offical]

yeah!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you stab gods a lot?

[scorch-offical]

No, you’re the first.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'm honored?

[scorch-offical]

So am I!!

[hera-official]

...

Wanna go grab icecream?

[scorch-offical]

Sure, if i can keep stabbing you.

[hera-official]

Of course!

[scorch-offical]

YES LETS GO!

[hera-official]

What flavour do you want?

[scorch-offical]

Cookies and cream!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'll get... strawberry.

[scorch-offical]

Ew, a fruit flavor?

[hera-official]

PC said it's what tastes most like Ambrosia.

[scorch-offical]

Whatever.

[hera-official]

Attitude. *She teased*

[scorch-offical]

Right, and stabbing someone repeatedly is a emotionally regular thing to do.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good point.

[scorch-offical]

You’re chill for letting me tho :3

*stabby stab stab*

[hera-official]

You're welcome.

[scorch-offical]

eheheheheheh

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You're gonna have to clean the blood, though...

[scorch-offical]

only when i stop, so i’ll just never stop

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

... I could make you stop. Somehow.

[scorch-offical]

i’m just a kid tho!

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That means I can put you in time out.

[scorch-offical]

you wouldn’t.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

I would.

[scorch-offical]

i thought you loved me, what sort of betrayal is this??

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

It's called tough love. Or something.

[scorch-offical]

…i was joking, we just met.

but…

sure

*keeps stabbing*

[stawpicouldadroppedmacroissant]

We still haven't gotten icecream.

[scorch-offical]

then let’s fucking go!!

[hera-official]

Languag.

[scorch-offical]

whyyy?

[hera-official]

Because I said so.

[scorch-offical]

fiiine let’s just get ice cream already

[hera-official]

Alright.

*Goes to get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

*follows, continuing to stabby*

[hera-official]

*They get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

Mmm this is good!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

It is.

Refreshing too.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah! Almost as refreshing as this

*more stabbies obviously*

[hera-official]

What's your favourite food?

[scorch-offical]

Ribs!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

That's cool.

[scorch-offical]

How about you?

*stab*

[hera-official]

Hm... Ambrosia, probably.

[scorch-offical]

That’s cheating!!

*more stabs*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

EVERYONE knows ambrosia is the best food ever!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, then... Chicken, maybe?

[scorch-offical]

BOOORING

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Then what should I answer, hm?

[scorch-offical]

you’re old, what did, like, dodo taste like?

[hera-official]

Horrible.

[scorch-offical]

Oh, damn

What about, like, mammoth?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Hm... Average. But maybe that's because Zeus cooked it.

[scorch-offical]

what other stuff have you tried?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Don't tell PC, but I've tried dinosaur once. It was pretty good.

[scorch-offical]

WAHT?!

PC gave me a dinosaur!

[hera-official]

That's why I said don't tell them.

[scorch-offical]

Fair enough.

You’re… really awesome.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid.

[scorch-offical]

I’m confused.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

I dunno, I’ve just never felt this way about someone, especially not a god.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

What way? *Hera asked gently*

[scorch-offical]

I don’t know.

It’s not romantic, but it’s not friendly, either.

[hera-official]

*She hummed* Can you describe it?

[scorch-offical]

I want to be swaddled, and hugged, and comforted, and taken care of.

[hera-official]

Ah. You feel... daughterly.

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... You want to be taken care of. Like a daughter.

[scorch-offical]

I mean, I have a family.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you like that family?

[scorch-offical]

Fuck no!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

That explains a lot.

*Hera stayed silent for awhile* Want me to adopt you?

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... So that I'm your new mom.

[scorch-offical]

I have a mom, and she’s rich, and she gives me money.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Does she love you?

[scorch-offical]

I… think?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Well, I can love you enough so you know. And I'm also rich, so win-win.

[scorch-offical]

Well… I still benefit from being their kid.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can have two moms. You'll just have to have me as a favourite...

[scorch-offical]

I like that, actually

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good. *She snaps her fingers* You're now my adopted kid. Technically a god, too. Not if you don't want to, though.

[scorch-offical]

WAIT A GOD?!

[hera-official]

Yeah. Not as powerful, though. More like... a demigod.

[scorch-offical]

Cool!

Thanks… mom.

*she covers her mouth with one hand as she continues stabbing, but she’s clearly grinning hugely*

[hera-official]

You're welcome, kid. *Hera smiles down at her*

[scorch-offical]

*Suddenly, Scorch stops stabbing and hugs Hera’s leg, getting her golden blood all over herself*

[hera-official]

*SHe chuckled* You're getting blood all over you, hun.

[scorch-offical]

Eh, it’s all gold and stuff, so it’s cool.

You’re very tall, can you shrink?

[hera-official]

*She snapped her fingers again and turned into a shorter version of herself.*

[scorch-offical]

Oh, good, you’re human sized now.

*hugs Hera full on*

[hera-official]

*She hugs her back* Love you, kid.

[scorch-offical]

*Still hugging*

Wait… is PC MY AUNT NOW?!

[hera-official]

Technically, yes, but you can treat her as you wish. I don't treat her like I treat Hades or Hestia either, she's more like an actual younger sibling. I'm also nicer to her, than to the others. *she joked*

[scorch-offical]

Okay, I just don’t want them to see me differently.

[hera-official]

They won't. Trust me.

[scorch-offical]

…could you explain to them, just in case?

[hera-official]

Hm. Okay.

[scorch-offical]

Thanks, mom

*she suddenly notices a knife in her back*

[hera-official]

You're welc- Seriously?

[scorch-offical]

Love you mom!

[hera-official]

*She sighs fondly* Love you too.

[scorch-offical]

:33333

so! what cool god powers do i have, besides the ones I got from Scorch?

[hera-official]

No idea. You might have to try out some stuff.

[scorch-offical]

Well, what do you even do besides marriage?

[hera-official]

Curse people, bless people, make people go mad, summon storms.

[scorch-offical]

I thought Poseidon did storms?

[hera-official]

I do it on a smaller scale.

[scorch-offical]

Hm.

Hey, can I have a mortal test subject?

[hera-official]

Sure. There's this mortal who thinks he's a god in a country called United States of America.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah, I live there.

[hera-official]

Use him as a test subject.

[scorch-offical]

Too high profile

[hera-official]

True... I can find some other weirdo.

[scorch-offical]

You’d do that for me?

[hera-official]

Yeah, of course.

[scorch-offical]

YAYAYAYAYA

Who’s my target??

[hera-official]

I found another child of Zeus. Target him.

[scorch-offical]

Gimme >::3

[hera-official]

He's walking over there. *She points at a person walking not much further*

[scorch-offical]

…Damn.

[hera-official]

What are you waiting for?

[scorch-offical]

He’s kinda hot.

[hera-official]

*starts stabbing Hera in the calf repeatedly*

— @scorch-offical

*Hera pushes her off* What the hell?

[scorch-offical]

>:3

you gods dont feel pain from mortal weapons!

it seemed fun!

[hera-official]

Oh. Well, yeah, but you'd get blood everywhere. I'm wearing white, kid.

[scorch-offical]

Pleasseeeeee???

[hera-official]

... *She sighs* Fine.

[scorch-offical]

YES!

*keeps stabbing your calf*

[hera-official]

*Hera continues doing whatever she was doing*

[scorch-offical]

you’re kinda sexy.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

What.

[scorch-offical]

you heard me.

[hera-official]

...

You're too young for me, kid.

[scorch-offical]

but all of your brothers are fair game?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That's different.

[scorch-offical]

okay, why is incest fine?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

*She frowned* What's incest?

[scorch-offical]

*Explains while stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Oh.

Yeah.

That makes sense, actually.

I never realized we gods were that disgusting...

[scorch-offical]

Yeah.

*keeps stabbing her*

But anyway yeah.

You’re kinda sexy.

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid. But you're still too young.

[scorch-offical]

I wasn’t saying I wanted to fuck!

Can’t a girl just compliment a goddess without it being weird?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can, but I've had many mortals try to flirt with me.

I'm done with flirting and dating for awhile.

[scorch-offical]

Hell yeah, go off queen!

*keeps stabbing her*

[hera-official]

What does 'go off' mean?

[scorch-offical]

Uhhh

it’s a combination of you do you and fuck yeah?

[hera-official]

Ah. Mortal words are strange.

[scorch-offical]

And gods aren’t?

*keeps stabbing Hera’s calf*

[hera-official]

No, not that I can see.

[scorch-offical]

Uhuh.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

What's that supposed to mean?

[scorch-offical]

You guys are weirdos too.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

Not as weird as mortals. You watch video's of cats doing random stuff.

[scorch-offical]

You turn into geese to fuck mortals.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, Zeus is an exception. He is weird.

[scorch-offical]

And Hermes?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

He's a child of Zeus.

[scorch-offical]

What about your thing with disco and stripping that started before humans invented either?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Okay, fine you've made your point.

[scorch-offical]

Thank you!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

You having fun down there?

[scorch-offical]

ye >:3

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Why do you like stabbing so much anyway?

[scorch-offical]

your calves are just like, the perfect shape for stabbing, yknow?

[hera-official]

Thanks? I guess?

[scorch-offical]

yeah!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you stab gods a lot?

[scorch-offical]

No, you’re the first.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'm honored?

[scorch-offical]

So am I!!

[hera-official]

...

Wanna go grab icecream?

[scorch-offical]

Sure, if i can keep stabbing you.

[hera-official]

Of course!

[scorch-offical]

YES LETS GO!

[hera-official]

What flavour do you want?

[scorch-offical]

Cookies and cream!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'll get... strawberry.

[scorch-offical]

Ew, a fruit flavor?

[hera-official]

PC said it's what tastes most like Ambrosia.

[scorch-offical]

Whatever.

[hera-official]

Attitude. *She teased*

[scorch-offical]

Right, and stabbing someone repeatedly is a emotionally regular thing to do.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good point.

[scorch-offical]

You’re chill for letting me tho :3

*stabby stab stab*

[hera-official]

You're welcome.

[scorch-offical]

eheheheheheh

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You're gonna have to clean the blood, though...

[scorch-offical]

only when i stop, so i’ll just never stop

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

... I could make you stop. Somehow.

[scorch-offical]

i’m just a kid tho!

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That means I can put you in time out.

[scorch-offical]

you wouldn’t.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

I would.

[scorch-offical]

i thought you loved me, what sort of betrayal is this??

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

It's called tough love. Or something.

[scorch-offical]

…i was joking, we just met.

but…

sure

*keeps stabbing*

[stawpicouldadroppedmacroissant]

We still haven't gotten icecream.

[scorch-offical]

then let’s fucking go!!

[hera-official]

Languag.

[scorch-offical]

whyyy?

[hera-official]

Because I said so.

[scorch-offical]

fiiine let’s just get ice cream already

[hera-official]

Alright.

*Goes to get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

*follows, continuing to stabby*

[hera-official]

*They get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

Mmm this is good!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

It is.

Refreshing too.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah! Almost as refreshing as this

*more stabbies obviously*

[hera-official]

What's your favourite food?

[scorch-offical]

Ribs!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

That's cool.

[scorch-offical]

How about you?

*stab*

[hera-official]

Hm... Ambrosia, probably.

[scorch-offical]

That’s cheating!!

*more stabs*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

EVERYONE knows ambrosia is the best food ever!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, then... Chicken, maybe?

[scorch-offical]

BOOORING

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Then what should I answer, hm?

[scorch-offical]

you’re old, what did, like, dodo taste like?

[hera-official]

Horrible.

[scorch-offical]

Oh, damn

What about, like, mammoth?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Hm... Average. But maybe that's because Zeus cooked it.

[scorch-offical]

what other stuff have you tried?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Don't tell PC, but I've tried dinosaur once. It was pretty good.

[scorch-offical]

WAHT?!

PC gave me a dinosaur!

[hera-official]

That's why I said don't tell them.

[scorch-offical]

Fair enough.

You’re… really awesome.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid.

[scorch-offical]

I’m confused.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

I dunno, I’ve just never felt this way about someone, especially not a god.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

What way? *Hera asked gently*

[scorch-offical]

I don’t know.

It’s not romantic, but it’s not friendly, either.

[hera-official]

*She hummed* Can you describe it?

[scorch-offical]

I want to be swaddled, and hugged, and comforted, and taken care of.

[hera-official]

Ah. You feel... daughterly.

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... You want to be taken care of. Like a daughter.

[scorch-offical]

I mean, I have a family.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you like that family?

[scorch-offical]

Fuck no!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

That explains a lot.

*Hera stayed silent for awhile* Want me to adopt you?

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... So that I'm your new mom.

[scorch-offical]

I have a mom, and she’s rich, and she gives me money.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Does she love you?

[scorch-offical]

I… think?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Well, I can love you enough so you know. And I'm also rich, so win-win.

[scorch-offical]

Well… I still benefit from being their kid.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can have two moms. You'll just have to have me as a favourite...

[scorch-offical]

I like that, actually

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good. *She snaps her fingers* You're now my adopted kid. Technically a god, too. Not if you don't want to, though.

[scorch-offical]

WAIT A GOD?!

[hera-official]

Yeah. Not as powerful, though. More like... a demigod.

[scorch-offical]

Cool!

Thanks… mom.

*she covers her mouth with one hand as she continues stabbing, but she’s clearly grinning hugely*

[hera-official]

You're welcome, kid. *Hera smiles down at her*

[scorch-offical]

*Suddenly, Scorch stops stabbing and hugs Hera’s leg, getting her golden blood all over herself*

[hera-official]

*SHe chuckled* You're getting blood all over you, hun.

[scorch-offical]

Eh, it’s all gold and stuff, so it’s cool.

You’re very tall, can you shrink?

[hera-official]

*She snapped her fingers again and turned into a shorter version of herself.*

[scorch-offical]

Oh, good, you’re human sized now.

*hugs Hera full on*

[hera-official]

*She hugs her back* Love you, kid.

[scorch-offical]

*Still hugging*

Wait… is PC MY AUNT NOW?!

[hera-official]

Technically, yes, but you can treat her as you wish. I don't treat her like I treat Hades or Hestia either, she's more like an actual younger sibling. I'm also nicer to her, than to the others. *she joked*

[scorch-offical]

Okay, I just don’t want them to see me differently.

[hera-official]

They won't. Trust me.

[scorch-offical]

…could you explain to them, just in case?

[hera-official]

Hm. Okay.

[scorch-offical]

Thanks, mom

*she suddenly notices a knife in her back*

[hera-official]

You're welc- Seriously?

[scorch-offical]

Love you mom!

[hera-official]

*She sighs fondly* Love you too.

[scorch-offical]

:33333

so! what cool god powers do i have, besides the ones I got from Scorch?

[hera-official]

No idea. You might have to try out some stuff.

[scorch-offical]

Well, what do you even do besides marriage?

[hera-official]

Curse people, bless people, make people go mad, summon storms.

[scorch-offical]

I thought Poseidon did storms?

[hera-official]

I do it on a smaller scale.

[scorch-offical]

Hm.

Hey, can I have a mortal test subject?

[hera-official]

Sure. There's this mortal who thinks he's a god in a country called United States of America.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah, I live there.

[hera-official]

Use him as a test subject.

[scorch-offical]

Too high profile

[hera-official]

True... I can find some other weirdo.

[scorch-offical]

You’d do that for me?

[hera-official]

Yeah, of course.

[scorch-offical]

YAYAYAYAYA

Who’s my target??

[hera-official]

I found another child of Zeus. Target him.

[scorch-offical]

Gimme >::3

[hera-official]

He's walking over there. *She points at a person walking not much further*

[scorch-offical]

…Damn.

[hera-official]

*starts stabbing Hera in the calf repeatedly*

— @scorch-offical

*Hera pushes her off* What the hell?

[scorch-offical]

>:3

you gods dont feel pain from mortal weapons!

it seemed fun!

[hera-official]

Oh. Well, yeah, but you'd get blood everywhere. I'm wearing white, kid.

[scorch-offical]

Pleasseeeeee???

[hera-official]

... *She sighs* Fine.

[scorch-offical]

YES!

*keeps stabbing your calf*

[hera-official]

*Hera continues doing whatever she was doing*

[scorch-offical]

you’re kinda sexy.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

What.

[scorch-offical]

you heard me.

[hera-official]

...

You're too young for me, kid.

[scorch-offical]

but all of your brothers are fair game?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That's different.

[scorch-offical]

okay, why is incest fine?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

*She frowned* What's incest?

[scorch-offical]

*Explains while stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Oh.

Yeah.

That makes sense, actually.

I never realized we gods were that disgusting...

[scorch-offical]

Yeah.

*keeps stabbing her*

But anyway yeah.

You’re kinda sexy.

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid. But you're still too young.

[scorch-offical]

I wasn’t saying I wanted to fuck!

Can’t a girl just compliment a goddess without it being weird?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can, but I've had many mortals try to flirt with me.

I'm done with flirting and dating for awhile.

[scorch-offical]

Hell yeah, go off queen!

*keeps stabbing her*

[hera-official]

What does 'go off' mean?

[scorch-offical]

Uhhh

it’s a combination of you do you and fuck yeah?

[hera-official]

Ah. Mortal words are strange.

[scorch-offical]

And gods aren’t?

*keeps stabbing Hera’s calf*

[hera-official]

No, not that I can see.

[scorch-offical]

Uhuh.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

What's that supposed to mean?

[scorch-offical]

You guys are weirdos too.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

Not as weird as mortals. You watch video's of cats doing random stuff.

[scorch-offical]

You turn into geese to fuck mortals.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, Zeus is an exception. He is weird.

[scorch-offical]

And Hermes?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

He's a child of Zeus.

[scorch-offical]

What about your thing with disco and stripping that started before humans invented either?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Okay, fine you've made your point.

[scorch-offical]

Thank you!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

You having fun down there?

[scorch-offical]

ye >:3

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Why do you like stabbing so much anyway?

[scorch-offical]

your calves are just like, the perfect shape for stabbing, yknow?

[hera-official]

Thanks? I guess?

[scorch-offical]

yeah!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you stab gods a lot?

[scorch-offical]

No, you’re the first.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'm honored?

[scorch-offical]

So am I!!

[hera-official]

...

Wanna go grab icecream?

[scorch-offical]

Sure, if i can keep stabbing you.

[hera-official]

Of course!

[scorch-offical]

YES LETS GO!

[hera-official]

What flavour do you want?

[scorch-offical]

Cookies and cream!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'll get... strawberry.

[scorch-offical]

Ew, a fruit flavor?

[hera-official]

PC said it's what tastes most like Ambrosia.

[scorch-offical]

Whatever.

[hera-official]

Attitude. *She teased*

[scorch-offical]

Right, and stabbing someone repeatedly is a emotionally regular thing to do.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good point.

[scorch-offical]

You’re chill for letting me tho :3

*stabby stab stab*

[hera-official]

You're welcome.

[scorch-offical]

eheheheheheh

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You're gonna have to clean the blood, though...

[scorch-offical]

only when i stop, so i’ll just never stop

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

... I could make you stop. Somehow.

[scorch-offical]

i’m just a kid tho!

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That means I can put you in time out.

[scorch-offical]

you wouldn’t.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

I would.

[scorch-offical]

i thought you loved me, what sort of betrayal is this??

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

It's called tough love. Or something.

[scorch-offical]

…i was joking, we just met.

but…

sure

*keeps stabbing*

[stawpicouldadroppedmacroissant]

We still haven't gotten icecream.

[scorch-offical]

then let’s fucking go!!

[hera-official]

Languag.

[scorch-offical]

whyyy?

[hera-official]

Because I said so.

[scorch-offical]

fiiine let’s just get ice cream already

[hera-official]

Alright.

*Goes to get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

*follows, continuing to stabby*

[hera-official]

*They get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

Mmm this is good!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

It is.

Refreshing too.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah! Almost as refreshing as this

*more stabbies obviously*

[hera-official]

What's your favourite food?

[scorch-offical]

Ribs!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

That's cool.

[scorch-offical]

How about you?

*stab*

[hera-official]

Hm... Ambrosia, probably.

[scorch-offical]

That’s cheating!!

*more stabs*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

EVERYONE knows ambrosia is the best food ever!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, then... Chicken, maybe?

[scorch-offical]

BOOORING

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Then what should I answer, hm?

[scorch-offical]

you’re old, what did, like, dodo taste like?

[hera-official]

Horrible.

[scorch-offical]

Oh, damn

What about, like, mammoth?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Hm... Average. But maybe that's because Zeus cooked it.

[scorch-offical]

what other stuff have you tried?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Don't tell PC, but I've tried dinosaur once. It was pretty good.

[scorch-offical]

WAHT?!

PC gave me a dinosaur!

[hera-official]

That's why I said don't tell them.

[scorch-offical]

Fair enough.

You’re… really awesome.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid.

[scorch-offical]

I’m confused.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

I dunno, I’ve just never felt this way about someone, especially not a god.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

What way? *Hera asked gently*

[scorch-offical]

I don’t know.

It’s not romantic, but it’s not friendly, either.

[hera-official]

*She hummed* Can you describe it?

[scorch-offical]

I want to be swaddled, and hugged, and comforted, and taken care of.

[hera-official]

Ah. You feel... daughterly.

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... You want to be taken care of. Like a daughter.

[scorch-offical]

I mean, I have a family.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you like that family?

[scorch-offical]

Fuck no!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

That explains a lot.

*Hera stayed silent for awhile* Want me to adopt you?

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... So that I'm your new mom.

[scorch-offical]

I have a mom, and she’s rich, and she gives me money.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Does she love you?

[scorch-offical]

I… think?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Well, I can love you enough so you know. And I'm also rich, so win-win.

[scorch-offical]

Well… I still benefit from being their kid.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can have two moms. You'll just have to have me as a favourite...

[scorch-offical]

I like that, actually

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good. *She snaps her fingers* You're now my adopted kid. Technically a god, too. Not if you don't want to, though.

[scorch-offical]

WAIT A GOD?!

[hera-official]

Yeah. Not as powerful, though. More like... a demigod.

[scorch-offical]

Cool!

Thanks… mom.

*she covers her mouth with one hand as she continues stabbing, but she’s clearly grinning hugely*

[hera-official]

You're welcome, kid. *Hera smiles down at her*

[scorch-offical]

*Suddenly, Scorch stops stabbing and hugs Hera’s leg, getting her golden blood all over herself*

[hera-official]

*SHe chuckled* You're getting blood all over you, hun.

[scorch-offical]

Eh, it’s all gold and stuff, so it’s cool.

You’re very tall, can you shrink?

[hera-official]

*She snapped her fingers again and turned into a shorter version of herself.*

[scorch-offical]

Oh, good, you’re human sized now.

*hugs Hera full on*

[hera-official]

*She hugs her back* Love you, kid.

[scorch-offical]

*Still hugging*

Wait… is PC MY AUNT NOW?!

[hera-official]

Technically, yes, but you can treat her as you wish. I don't treat her like I treat Hades or Hestia either, she's more like an actual younger sibling. I'm also nicer to her, than to the others. *she joked*

[scorch-offical]

Okay, I just don’t want them to see me differently.

[hera-official]

They won't. Trust me.

[scorch-offical]

…could you explain to them, just in case?

[hera-official]

Hm. Okay.

[scorch-offical]

Thanks, mom

*she suddenly notices a knife in her back*

[hera-official]

You're welc- Seriously?

[scorch-offical]

Love you mom!

[hera-official]

*She sighs fondly* Love you too.

[scorch-offical]

:33333

so! what cool god powers do i have, besides the ones I got from Scorch?

[hera-official]

No idea. You might have to try out some stuff.

[scorch-offical]

Well, what do you even do besides marriage?

[hera-official]

Curse people, bless people, make people go mad, summon storms.

[scorch-offical]

I thought Poseidon did storms?

[hera-official]

I do it on a smaller scale.

[scorch-offical]

Hm.

Hey, can I have a mortal test subject?

[hera-official]

Sure. There's this mortal who thinks he's a god in a country called United States of America.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah, I live there.

[hera-official]

Use him as a test subject.

[scorch-offical]

Too high profile

[hera-official]

True... I can find some other weirdo.

[scorch-offical]

You’d do that for me?

[hera-official]

Yeah, of course.

[scorch-offical]

YAYAYAYAYA

Who’s my target??

[hera-official]

I found another child of Zeus. Target him.

[scorch-offical]

Gimme >::3

[hera-official]

*starts stabbing Hera in the calf repeatedly*

— @scorch-offical

*Hera pushes her off* What the hell?

[scorch-offical]

>:3

you gods dont feel pain from mortal weapons!

it seemed fun!

[hera-official]

Oh. Well, yeah, but you'd get blood everywhere. I'm wearing white, kid.

[scorch-offical]

Pleasseeeeee???

[hera-official]

... *She sighs* Fine.

[scorch-offical]

YES!

*keeps stabbing your calf*

[hera-official]

*Hera continues doing whatever she was doing*

[scorch-offical]

you’re kinda sexy.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

What.

[scorch-offical]

you heard me.

[hera-official]

...

You're too young for me, kid.

[scorch-offical]

but all of your brothers are fair game?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That's different.

[scorch-offical]

okay, why is incest fine?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

*She frowned* What's incest?

[scorch-offical]

*Explains while stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Oh.

Yeah.

That makes sense, actually.

I never realized we gods were that disgusting...

[scorch-offical]

Yeah.

*keeps stabbing her*

But anyway yeah.

You’re kinda sexy.

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid. But you're still too young.

[scorch-offical]

I wasn’t saying I wanted to fuck!

Can’t a girl just compliment a goddess without it being weird?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can, but I've had many mortals try to flirt with me.

I'm done with flirting and dating for awhile.

[scorch-offical]

Hell yeah, go off queen!

*keeps stabbing her*

[hera-official]

What does 'go off' mean?

[scorch-offical]

Uhhh

it’s a combination of you do you and fuck yeah?

[hera-official]

Ah. Mortal words are strange.

[scorch-offical]

And gods aren’t?

*keeps stabbing Hera’s calf*

[hera-official]

No, not that I can see.

[scorch-offical]

Uhuh.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

What's that supposed to mean?

[scorch-offical]

You guys are weirdos too.

*keeps stabbing Hera*

[hera-official]

Not as weird as mortals. You watch video's of cats doing random stuff.

[scorch-offical]

You turn into geese to fuck mortals.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, Zeus is an exception. He is weird.

[scorch-offical]

And Hermes?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

He's a child of Zeus.

[scorch-offical]

What about your thing with disco and stripping that started before humans invented either?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

... Okay, fine you've made your point.

[scorch-offical]

Thank you!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

You having fun down there?

[scorch-offical]

ye >:3

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Why do you like stabbing so much anyway?

[scorch-offical]

your calves are just like, the perfect shape for stabbing, yknow?

[hera-official]

Thanks? I guess?

[scorch-offical]

yeah!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you stab gods a lot?

[scorch-offical]

No, you’re the first.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'm honored?

[scorch-offical]

So am I!!

[hera-official]

...

Wanna go grab icecream?

[scorch-offical]

Sure, if i can keep stabbing you.

[hera-official]

Of course!

[scorch-offical]

YES LETS GO!

[hera-official]

What flavour do you want?

[scorch-offical]

Cookies and cream!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

I'll get... strawberry.

[scorch-offical]

Ew, a fruit flavor?

[hera-official]

PC said it's what tastes most like Ambrosia.

[scorch-offical]

Whatever.

[hera-official]

Attitude. *She teased*

[scorch-offical]

Right, and stabbing someone repeatedly is a emotionally regular thing to do.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good point.

[scorch-offical]

You’re chill for letting me tho :3

*stabby stab stab*

[hera-official]

You're welcome.

[scorch-offical]

eheheheheheh

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You're gonna have to clean the blood, though...

[scorch-offical]

only when i stop, so i’ll just never stop

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

... I could make you stop. Somehow.

[scorch-offical]

i’m just a kid tho!

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

That means I can put you in time out.

[scorch-offical]

you wouldn’t.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

I would.

[scorch-offical]

i thought you loved me, what sort of betrayal is this??

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

It's called tough love. Or something.

[scorch-offical]

…i was joking, we just met.

but…

sure

*keeps stabbing*

[stawpicouldadroppedmacroissant]

We still haven't gotten icecream.

[scorch-offical]

then let’s fucking go!!

[hera-official]

Languag.

[scorch-offical]

whyyy?

[hera-official]

Because I said so.

[scorch-offical]

fiiine let’s just get ice cream already

[hera-official]

Alright.

*Goes to get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

*follows, continuing to stabby*

[hera-official]

*They get icecream*

[scorch-offical]

Mmm this is good!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

It is.

Refreshing too.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah! Almost as refreshing as this

*more stabbies obviously*

[hera-official]

What's your favourite food?

[scorch-offical]

Ribs!

*stabbies*

[hera-official]

That's cool.

[scorch-offical]

How about you?

*stab*

[hera-official]

Hm... Ambrosia, probably.

[scorch-offical]

That’s cheating!!

*more stabs*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

EVERYONE knows ambrosia is the best food ever!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Okay, then... Chicken, maybe?

[scorch-offical]

BOOORING

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Then what should I answer, hm?

[scorch-offical]

you’re old, what did, like, dodo taste like?

[hera-official]

Horrible.

[scorch-offical]

Oh, damn

What about, like, mammoth?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Hm... Average. But maybe that's because Zeus cooked it.

[scorch-offical]

what other stuff have you tried?

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Don't tell PC, but I've tried dinosaur once. It was pretty good.

[scorch-offical]

WAHT?!

PC gave me a dinosaur!

[hera-official]

That's why I said don't tell them.

[scorch-offical]

Fair enough.

You’re… really awesome.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Thanks, kid.

[scorch-offical]

I’m confused.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

How so?

[scorch-offical]

I dunno, I’ve just never felt this way about someone, especially not a god.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

What way? *Hera asked gently*

[scorch-offical]

I don’t know.

It’s not romantic, but it’s not friendly, either.

[hera-official]

*She hummed* Can you describe it?

[scorch-offical]

I want to be swaddled, and hugged, and comforted, and taken care of.

[hera-official]

Ah. You feel... daughterly.

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... You want to be taken care of. Like a daughter.

[scorch-offical]

I mean, I have a family.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Do you like that family?

[scorch-offical]

Fuck no!

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

That explains a lot.

*Hera stayed silent for awhile* Want me to adopt you?

[scorch-offical]

What?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You know... So that I'm your new mom.

[scorch-offical]

I have a mom, and she’s rich, and she gives me money.

*continues stabbing*

[hera-official]

Does she love you?

[scorch-offical]

I… think?

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Well, I can love you enough so you know. And I'm also rich, so win-win.

[scorch-offical]

Well… I still benefit from being their kid.

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

You can have two moms. You'll just have to have me as a favourite...

[scorch-offical]

I like that, actually

*keeps stabbing*

[hera-official]

Good. *She snaps her fingers* You're now my adopted kid. Technically a god, too. Not if you don't want to, though.

[scorch-offical]

WAIT A GOD?!

[hera-official]

Yeah. Not as powerful, though. More like... a demigod.

[scorch-offical]

Cool!

Thanks… mom.

*she covers her mouth with one hand as she continues stabbing, but she’s clearly grinning hugely*

[hera-official]

You're welcome, kid. *Hera smiles down at her*

[scorch-offical]

*Suddenly, Scorch stops stabbing and hugs Hera’s leg, getting her golden blood all over herself*

[hera-official]

*SHe chuckled* You're getting blood all over you, hun.

[scorch-offical]

Eh, it’s all gold and stuff, so it’s cool.

You’re very tall, can you shrink?

[hera-official]

*She snapped her fingers again and turned into a shorter version of herself.*

[scorch-offical]

Oh, good, you’re human sized now.

*hugs Hera full on*

[hera-official]

*She hugs her back* Love you, kid.

[scorch-offical]

*Still hugging*

Wait… is PC MY AUNT NOW?!

[hera-official]

Technically, yes, but you can treat her as you wish. I don't treat her like I treat Hades or Hestia either, she's more like an actual younger sibling. I'm also nicer to her, than to the others. *she joked*

[scorch-offical]

Okay, I just don’t want them to see me differently.

[hera-official]

They won't. Trust me.

[scorch-offical]

…could you explain to them, just in case?

[hera-official]

Hm. Okay.

[scorch-offical]

Thanks, mom

*she suddenly notices a knife in her back*

[hera-official]

You're welc- Seriously?

[scorch-offical]

Love you mom!

[hera-official]

*She sighs fondly* Love you too.

[scorch-offical]

:33333

so! what cool god powers do i have, besides the ones I got from Scorch?

[hera-official]

No idea. You might have to try out some stuff.

[scorch-offical]

Well, what do you even do besides marriage?

[hera-official]

Curse people, bless people, make people go mad, summon storms.

[scorch-offical]

I thought Poseidon did storms?

[hera-official]

I do it on a smaller scale.

[scorch-offical]

Hm.

Hey, can I have a mortal test subject?

[hera-official]

Sure. There's this mortal who thinks he's a god in a country called United States of America.

[scorch-offical]

Yeah, I live there.

[hera-official]

Use him as a test subject.

[scorch-offical]

Too high profile

[hera-official]

True... I can find some other weirdo.

[scorch-offical]

You’d do that for me?

[hera-official]

Yeah, of course.

[scorch-offical]

YAYAYAYAYA

Who’s my target??