There is this post going around on twitter that's like "you have to have normie friends irl" and people are responding to it like "no i can't do that i'm trans/neurodivergent/disabled i just have to isolate myself to people who are just like me" and it's worrisome to me. This is how abuse proliferates in far left communities imo.
Last year I informed a close friend that a person in our circle was behaving in ways that made me uncomfortable and that I'd prefer not to have to hang out with them in small groups. And the response was them going around to my friends to call me a bully, being chastised that I actually had to pretend to like them and accept any and all attention from them including gifts, hugs, etc. and that if I didn't do this, the individual would fall into vague health complications and it'd be all my fault. I was also not allowed to discuss this in writing, over the phone, or in front of any other person. The conversation was chosen to take place at a restaurant in a 90 second window while the friend's boyfriend was in the bathroom and I was forbidden from responding. :)!
So then, when the individual escalated and began to send me inappropriate texts, I basically had no other choice but to write down everything I'd experienced and send it all over to my friend at once, expecting that they simply didn't understand the full extent of what I'd been experiencing and would definitely see the need for my boundaries to be respected. Of course, I was sure to stress that I wanted to be sensitive to people with social deficits and did not want to see anyone be harmed or excluded.
She ignored me for a week while happily retweeting images of anime boys sticking their noses into each other's assholes, and when pressed by a mutual friend to at least read my message, her response was to accuse me of not caring about her and going to mutual friends to tell them that I was violently insane, abusive, crashing out, possibly about to hurt myself and others. :)! When she was not believed, she had her boyfriend scream at our mutual friend on the phone for defending me. She then forwarded the entirety of my message to the individual who'd been harassing me, who proceeded to send me messages I haven't read but am told are filled with highly troubling content :D!
Because I refused to apologize for asking not to be sexually harassed, I was blocked everywhere. I've now been ostracized from my former friend group, which is a horribly dehumanizing and terrifying experience for an lgbt person from an unstable and violent family background. No one cares about this of course because I disturbed the peace and made parties super awkward.
This really hadn't been the first time something like this has happened to me, though. And through this experience I came to realize that so much invasive, controlling, cruel, callous treatment I'd endured over the last 15 years had come from a common source, the people I've met primarily through Tumblr. It's like there's been a maladaptive type of socialization that's come from people who struggle to fit in with "typical" people in the real world, and end up steeped in a social environment where we relate to each other on identities, traumas and interests, but have not developed the skills to treat each other kindly and reasonably that most work out for themselves through high school and college.
Since I've started hanging around people who are not part of this space I've felt so much safer and more respected as a human being. This still isn't a good outcome, because people who come from atypical, marginalized backgrounds need community. But it just isn't safe right now to hinge your entire support network on people you happen to have the most in common with. The people who've harmed me won't be welcome in my life again, but I'd really like to someday find others I can relate to who have higher standards of conduct.
germansingergirl
janainaart
annaxmalina
discoholicmusic
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
theartofmadeline
andulkaphoto
