scarlet's mess @scxrmess - Tumblr Blog

am i the only one that instead of cuteness aggression gets cuteness depression ?!!?!?!??!?!?!!!! like when i see something so cute n tiny n adorable it just makes me wanna cry because why are you so tiny and cute and stupid!!!

im fucking sad i made a FIRE AHH BEAT AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT LYRICS TO MAKE OR WHT I WANT THE SONG TO BE ABOUT and the song sounds happy which is good but how tf does one write happy lyrics...LMFO

i fucking hate people

FNALY UNI IS OVER BY THE WAY YAAAAAAY

my mom is fucking annoying oh my god fuck i never realized how fucking sexist this woman is despite claiming she is not

why am i jsut realizing i have a lot to say yet i am not saying it

i watched a youtube video about life before smartphones, and how Gen Z grew up without phones and witnessed both worlds, before, during and after internet and that we are the last generation to know what it truly is like before the internet became mandatory and unavoidable

playing outside until sunset, doing sleepovers with friends, little vacations and visiting each other's houses...but if anything it made me feel even more secluded because even in this small detail i can't relate to most people.

i didn't grow up playing with kids outside, i was deliberately secluded and isolated by my parents my whole childhood...i didnt know how to interact with people so when i made friends or found people to talk to, most of the time they just found me annoying. because all i did was yap and talk about my own very niche interests that apparently nobody else knew about which made me feel even more isolated.

growing up as a lonely kid truly ruins you and i don't think people realize it...because people think i am introverted, but I'm not. i was just forced to be alone. I didn't even go to preschool, i jumped into kindergarten (and by the way i was older than all kids in my class.)

now that i'm talking about this and suddenly it's all dawning on me "Oh so that's why I'm the way I am". part of me thinks I'm probably not autistic but the way i grew up isolated truly messed me up which caused me to have similar symptoms, but i'm no psychologist so i'm gonna shut up about this.

it genuinely hurts how much you keep suffering for decisions you didn't make yourself. people always tell you to "move on" and to not blame your parents for everything you go through, and to break the cycle, and they're partially right.

but every day i discover a new painful thing about myself that could've been prevented if my parents just noticed me and noticed how i was really hurting and struggling. I'm almost 22 and i still feel the same way I felt when i was 10 and complained and cried everyday to my parents about how nobody understood me and how lonely i feel.

and yet nobody noticed

#gen z culture #gen z girls #personal vent #girlblog #girlhood #shitpost #digital diary #girlblogging

omfg I'm so fucking tired i hate school i hate my family i hate them all

why am i the last to know everything why do these people already treat me as if I'm dead!?! do they think they get to choose when to consider me a part of the family and when to not ?!! if you're gonna exclude me and leave me out and pretend I'm dead and the last to know everything then I'll contribute to that too and you'll never see my face ever again.

thought that i needed to put this out here

I'm not sure what it means but my ideal type has changed???

i was into older men (still am kinda men my age r too immature) but i used to like stoic, old money, sophisticated vibe and now I'm into more youthful, fun guys cuz it makes me be my goofy silly self before i had to be all serious and quiet 😔 it feels like slowly returning to myself

i wore pigtails, i wore cute pink whimsical makeup, i bought toys and am playing old games n watching old anime. I'm literally age regressing without intending to fjekjfiwjfkwjf

while older men do bring stability n security, I'd like someone who will have fun w me not parent me! I'll feel self conscious if I'm the only one being goofy

besides i want someone who will make me laugh n be happy !!

so yeah, most of these can coexist at the same time :D what made me realize this was caleb from love and deepspace. he's so cuteeeeeee

screaming cuz my friend told me I'm learning music producing very fast which means I'll learn the rest fast, too!!!!

jus realized i have a thing for pretty blonde anime girls

sailor moon, eriko, kaguya >3<

scxrmess

ts pmo every time i have to go out of town for a poject my mom always says "let ur father or brother drive you there" how many times do i have to tell you thesebitches are FUCKING PUSSIES they'd rather chill in their homes n do all their errands in their cars while letting ME go out and take the annoying fuckass public transportations and not give two fucks about me AND if they happen to drive me somewhere they'll fight w me n make sure i regret it ot never ask them of anything ever again. omfg.

scxrmess

it really is true that when you try to break free these people will fucking drag you back and keep you trapped. sadly my mom included.

SHE SPEAKS ON DISAPPOINTMENT AND SHIT while actively telling me to ask them for help when she knows damn well they WONT

she acting like they would willingly drive me there and i am the one acting like a difficult little cunt. these ppl hate me and my brother is fkn jealous of me. no THANKS.

ts pmo every time i have to go out of town for a poject my mom always says "let ur father or brother drive you there" how many times do i have to tell you thesebitches are FUCKING PUSSIES they'd rather chill in their homes n do all their errands in their cars while letting ME go out and take the annoying fuckass public transportations and not give two fucks about me AND if they happen to drive me somewhere they'll fight w me n make sure i regret it ot never ask them of anything ever again. omfg.

jus say u hate my guts n go 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

primafawnagirl

Me asf as fuck

i think someone is avoiding me ig im too chatty...this is what always happens 😞

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