I think Sonny and 28 would go well together :)
Thanks for the request! This short flips back and forth between the two POVs, so hopefully you all will enjoy…
Prompt 28: “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
Another day, another mess.
Sonny shuffled through the park, to a quiet corner he’d found himself retreating to more and more. When he made the move from Detective to ADA, he’d hoped he could make a difference.
He wasn’t naive. He knew that even the best attorney wouldn’t win every case. But he told himself that he could make a difference because he cared. Not just about winning. About making life better for others. About justice. About the victims.
He’d seen so many cases go south after all the work he and his fellow detectives would put in to get the “bad guy”, he just felt like he could do more this way. Keep working with them, but on this side, seeing their work through to the end.
He knew it wouldn’t be easy. But he never imagined feeling like this.
He eased himself onto a bench, closing his eyes for just a moment, letting the cool air fill his lungs with a few slow inhales, trying to calm himself from the latest loss.
The losing was bad enough. The lack of support was the gut punch he hadn’t expected. The Bureau Chief quick to lay the blame on him when things went wrong. Even his former colleagues, people he thought were his friends, making him feel like he was somehow the enemy; it was overwhelming.
That’s what Barba had told him to expect. This would pass. Carisi sat there repeating those words, a mantra or silent prayer, he wasn’t clear which.
As he repeated those words, his peaceful meditation was broken by a thud and splash by his foot. He opened his eyes to see a coffee cup discarded at his feet, a man on a skateboard zipping past.
How dare they…this random person sullying his perfectly peaceful park spot, the place he ran to for a moment of comfort and sanity and…
In an uncharacteristic moment of rage, Sonny jumped up and grabbed the cup, throwing it at the offender.
“This is why we can’t have nice things!”
The act was fruitless, the man out of throwing range, Sonny only worsening matters by spreading the leftover droplets of coffee on himself.
He slumped back onto the bench, hanging his head in his hands.
You sat motionless, holding a fresh cup of coffee in your hands, the searing heat barely registering.
Your focus, focus that was in dire need of caffeine, was elsewhere.
You felt a bit weird, staring like that. You’d seen him in this spot a number of times and did your best to pretend not to notice him. To recognize him. You worked at the courthouse, a court reporter, and it seemed that he was here for the same reasons you were.
You didn’t want to spoil that for him.
Usually, he sat quietly, sometimes with lunch, feeding the pigeons or ducks that strode by. By the time he left, if you were there still, you’d notice that his demeanor had changed from when he arrived. He seemed to stand a bit straighter, fists unclenched, arms relaxed.
But today, he looked different.
He looked…lost? No, more than that.
Your heart hurt for the guy. You’d been in his courtroom a few times and could tell that he gave his all to the job. And you knew how tough a job it could be.
You hated sitting there, doing nothing, but who were you to invade on his quiet time? Like you had any words that were worth saying, worth hearing.
As you sat there, arguing with yourself over the value of you might say to cheer him up, someone whizzed by on a skateboard, tossing their not-quite-empty cup. You gasped, setting down your coffee cup, as you watched the discarded cup land and bounce at the ADA’s feet.
He didn’t need that. Not today.
You stood up as he did, listening to him yell at the guy, hurling the cup and jumping back as remnants of the cups insides took him by surprise.
You grabbed your bag, knocking over your untouched coffee, and rushed over to where he sat, digging through the over sized purse as you made your way over.
“Excuse me?” Sonny slowly looked up to see a woman, holding a wet wipe in front of his face. “I thought you might need this.”
Great, Sonny thought. Someone witnessed his meltdown over a stupid cup.
He took the wipe, dabbing at the brown droplets on the cuffs of his shirt sleeve, while the woman dug in her ridiculously oversized bag, pulling something else out and holding it before him.
“Stain stick. If you want.”
Sonny forced a smile and nodded, taking the stick. “Thank you. Again.”
“No problem. What good is throwing out my back lugging this around if I can’t be useful to random park-goers?”
Sonny glanced up at the woman, noting the crooked smile she wore. She looked uncomfortable, yet somehow determined to help.
“It’s very ‘Mary Poppins-chic’,” he joked, hoping he might diffuse the awkward feeling hanging about.
“Very astute, as I do tend to take my fashion cues from children’s movies. I have an orange scarf I love to wear that essentially looks like I skinned a Muppet.”
Sonny couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s a bit dark.”
“Well, it made you laugh, so it’s worth having you think I’m a little off. At least, I think it does.”
“The laugh was much needed. And appreciated.”
She was still smiling, but it faded slightly as she bit her lip for a second.
“It will get better, you know.”
You regretted it almost instantly.
Aside from being trite, who were you to know it would get better? You were just some stranger in the park as far as he knew.
“You just seemed upset today.”
Oh, wow. Why did you say today? Now you’re that weird stalker chic in the park with the huge bag who probably has 80 cats at home that will slowly eat his face off after he’s been held captive for…
“You were there. Can you blame me?”
As if he was reading your thoughts, he added, “In the courtroom, for the verdict.”
You nodded, slowly. You hadn’t realized he knew who you were. No one ever notices you in your little corner, typing away.
“It was a rough one,” you replied slowly. “But that’s not on you.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not how anyone else sees it.”
To your surprise, Sonny laughed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You gave it your all. If there’s anything I’ve learned sitting in on so many cases it’s that the system sucks. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of attorneys do, too, on both sides, but you don’t. At least in my opinion, for whatever it’s worth.”
He looked down at his feet, lips pressed together, quiet. You slowly sat down beside him.
“You care. Things hurt more when you care. But I know there you’ll do really great things because of it. I’m sure you already have.”
It was strange, sitting there, listen to this woman he’d never said two words to before say all these things he’d needed to hear. Things he wasn’t sure he believed, but still…
“How can you be so sure?”
“I have uncanny abilities. Haven’t we established that already?” She smiled pointing to her Mary Poppins bag. “I’m like a super practical fairy godmother, floating down on you with wet-naps and stain stick and…” He watched as she paused, digging in her bag, pulling out a mini Snickers bar. “And chocolate! I mean, seriously, if that isn’t evidence of my powers…”
“I’m more a Three Musketeers guy,” Sonny laughed, his laugh cut short when she dove back in the bag again, revealing a mini Three Musketeers.
“Okay, that’s just scary.”
“If by scary, you mean awesome, then yes.”
Sonny took the candy bar and shook his head. “Thanks. And not just for the candy bar.”
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he looked down, heaving a sigh. “Looks like I need to get back.”
She glanced at her phone and jumped off the bench. “Shoot. I do, too.”
She nodded, hoisting the bag over her shoulder as he unwrapped the tiny candy bar. Sonny tossed his wrapper in the trash can where he discarded the skateboarders empty cup and laughed.
“Ah, nothing. Just…if you’d told me I’d go from ragin’ at an empty cup to being grateful for it in such a short span…”
He shook his head, looking over at the woman walking beside him, and sighed.
From feeling useless to grateful to, something he couldn’t quite place, all in his short visit to the park.
But he hoped that this, this feeling, whatever it was, would stick around for a while.
