Shit My White BF Says

I'm just archiving what I observe.

[shitmywhitebfsays]

Madeline pt. 2

"We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all... we love dat ass."

[shitmywhitebfsays]

Kim Possible

"Doesn't matter when or where my dick always ends up in pussy........!"  - Bf

"What's the itch?" - Me

[shitmywhitebfsays]

Madeline

"We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all we love ____________'s butt."

[shitmywhitebfsays]

Alabaster Skin

"I have dark hair on alabaster skin."

[shitmywhitebfsays]

On Jennifer Lawrence

Me: Jennifer Lawrence got best actress Him: fuck that bitch Me: wait what? Him: yeah, she's not hot! Me: so she owes you something?

[shitmywhitebfsays]

Corny Saying

Bf: "He's just such a fuddy duddy!"

[shitmywhitebfsays]

On the popular term 'Thirsty'

Me: "Lamborghini mercy/Your chick she so thirsty..."

Bf: "What do you mean thirsty? Do you mean "hydrate"? That's what the definition of thirsty is? Look it up in the fucking dictionary you fucking punk!"

*not directed at me, more at the term*

[shitmywhitebfsays]

On Trojan Dildos

So my bf and I are watching late night television and one of those awkward Trojan dildo commercials come on. There's a black couple on there talking about how it spices up their love life.

Bf: "Hey we should get that, that black couple seems to like it!"

Me: "What does that have to do with me?"

Bf: "Oh I thought since... uh... umm... nevermind."

[shitmywhitebfsays]

On Lance Armstrong

Me: "Did you hear about Lance Armstrong?" Bf: "Yeah! Didnt you know about that?!" Me: "No... I don't follow sports why would I know that?" Bf: "Well it was on Oprah I thought you would know through your black psychic connection!" Me: "-_-"

[shitmywhitebfsays]

On Chodes

Me: "did you just say you're gonna give me a Chode?" Bf: "no! You're only getting that nice white wholesome dick!"

[shitmywhitebfsays]

On Taylor Swift

Me: "I can't believe she has had so many bfs..." Bf: "She may not have much of a body, but she can sing to my dick." Me: "..."

[shitmywhitebfsays]

On "Deshaun"

Me: "yeah my friend and Sean..." Bf: "who? Deshaun?" Me: *mad face* "no his name is not Deshaun..." Bf: "oh I'm sorry that's just a very African American name!" -_-

[shitmywhitebfsays]

On Frederick Douglass

"Yeah I know who Frederick Douglass is, he freed himself with all the other Underground Railroad people, like Aertha Franklin..."