What victory would the Devil have to win a soul already bad?
Arthur Miller - The Crucible (via myawesomelivepost)
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@sir-carrow
What victory would the Devil have to win a soul already bad?
Arthur Miller - The Crucible (via myawesomelivepost)
Glancing over at the other boy Regulus ignored most of his profanity, noting the still waking glaze that clouded the others eyes. While he was not a member of the ‘it takes me some time to actually wake up so don’t expect me to hold a very thrilling conversation until i’ve had coffee and a shower’ club himself he knew enough to not hold it against the other boy till he got himself together a little more. Some people were just not cut out wake up like spring daisies after all.
But of course spring daisy or not Regulus couldn’t ignore the direct question, his quill still scratching away at his piece of parchment “I’m taking notes, because I’m in class?” Regulus replied with a raised eyebrow, wondering why that seemed such a weird concept. I mean he got it, not everyone liked to give school 100 percent, but Regulus had grown up believing he had to be the best at everything and he wasn’t going to let some stupid Ravenclaw out rank him simply because he was too ‘cool’ to take notes during lectures. “You know not all of us are content with just being pretty faces Amycus.” He continued with a small sigh, scratching out the last few words Binns had said about the Goblin wars on his parchment.
“But you said Binn’s already covered this shit?” Amycus folded him arms, his voice a little louder than it should have been but the doddering Professor didn’t seem to take any notice. Amycus never took any care to sugar coat his words, especially not when he was tired and grumpy. Cursing was a luxury forbidden to him at home so he took pleasure in profanity during his time at Hogwarts. “I’m just going off what you said.” The older boy stated matter-of-fact, barely bothering to stifle his yawn.
“How long have we got left in here?” He asked, opening his own notebook to check his timetable. Amycus had no idea what time it was or even where he was supposed to be. He was tempted to simply get up and walk out of the classroom when he noticed Regulus scribble out the last few words he had written on his parchment. Perhaps Amycus’ words had more influence than he had expected. Amycus settled down into his seat, watching Regulus carefully. “It’s been a while since Alecto and I visited your home...” He paused for a moment, watching Regulus carefully to determine his reaction. “Father didn’t think your mother would be too receptive to guests.”
“History of magic, with the fifth years I might add” Regulus replied blankly over the slight scratch of his quill as the ghostly professor wheezed on before them. “But feel free to stick around and finish your nap,” He continued looking over at the other Slytherin “Binns doesn’t even know he’s basically just repeated most of last weeks lesson let alone who is actually supposed to be in this class, so its not like you’ll face detention or anything”
“Fifth years?” Amycus cursed himself internally. This had been the second time this week he had joined a class he wasn’t meant to be in and simply fallen asleep. Or maybe he’d fallen asleep in the class before and no one had bothered to wake him when they started the next one? Whatever the reason for him being here; he shouldn’t have been. “Fucking idiot.” He muttered to himself, seemingly unaware that Regulus could have taken it as directed towards him.
“Binn’s is a fucking loser.” Amycus grumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes and sitting up properly in his seat. It was then he noticed that Regulus seemed to be taking proper notes from Binn’s droning lecture. “The fuck are you doing Reg?”
Oh, now Evan wanted to play. He had not the same malice, anger or cruelty that Bellatrix or Amycus did; he was rife with uncertainty, left in a void filled by predetermined expectations and floundering for a sense of self beneath the very firm facade of confidence. And beneath that all, he was just insatiable for life and experience and moreso curious. He lost boundaries at school and had nothing but them at home, no fear of the man he recklessly acted towards but fear of what acting meant. Evan swallowed a measure more of his drink to stem every thought, like a dam blocking a river. Better a broken reservoir than a trickling lane of thoughts he’d rather forget. “We’re in an empty classroom by ourselves, late at night with alcohol. If that has no reputation already, what else is there?” Evan asked. He’d not heard of Amycus’s exploits. He’d not really cared until Alecto became apparent in his life. Evan licked his lips. “Mine can take a hit or two. It’s not as if I don’t have one myself.”
Was Evan suggesting..? No surely not. Amycus shook his head, stopping the thought abruptly. Maybe he needed to clear his head a little. Perhaps he’d just had a little too much to drink because Evan’s words were starting sound somewhat suggestive and Amycus found himself intrigued at the prospect. “Reputation weighs a lot around here.” Amycus said careful to keep his tone even. He licked his lips, glancing towards Evan. “But you look as though you couldn’t care less right now... I like that.”
“Well I can certainly drink to that.” Amycus replied smoothly, raising his warped glass towards Evan before taking a hearty sip. Finishing the toast, he placed the glass back on the table, offering Evan a sharkish grin. “Well,” he began, realising he didn’t know all that much about Evan. Rosier had not made himself particularly known to Amycus. After everything spinning in the rumour mill about him and Alecto, Amycus actively avoided hearing anything about anyone. “Tarnished repuations are my speciality.”
Lucius bit back a chuckle, his shoulders shaking from his attempt to hold his laughter in. “Still in potions, mate. Class is nearly over.” Potions had proven to be interesting, as the two were paired together and Lucius was used to taking charge of brewing. Amycus’ falling asleep hadn’t even phased him.
“Shit.” Amycus grumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He had never been a very studious academic and sitting around in a class with a professor simply talking at him just bored the brunette to tears.
”What’s that?” He asked, blinking the brewing cauldron before them into focus. Amycus needed to be doing something to stay awake, perhaps he really ought to help Lucius with whatever concoction it was they had to be making. “Slug didn’t notice did he?” Amycus hoped he hadn’t. He’d never join his sister in the Slug club at this rate.
[Amycus and Alecto Carrow show up in black robes and masks]
Lord Voldemort: Ok umm guys, why are there costumes involved? This is a Death Eater meeting, you're not supposed to take...
Amycus Carrow: Your breath away?
Amycus jerked awake with a start, his heart beating fast. “Huh?” He gasped, confused at his surroundings. “What class is this?” He demanded to know, directing the question to the person beside him. He couldn’t even remember drifting off.
Amycus Carrow: You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Frank Longbottom's mother after she called him "low class".
Rabastan Lestrange: That wasn't me. It was you.
Amycus Carrow: Oh, yeah.
Rabastan Lestrange: And it wasn't his mother, it was his grandmother.
Amycus Carrow: No wonder the bitch went down so fast.
Speaking of Devils// Carrows
“I-Al…” Amycus remembered the instance with reddening cheeks. “I wanted to but…” His gaze darkened and he shrunk away from her. “You don’t know what father told me. He-” Amycus stopped speaking. Unable to repeat the poison. “It would have got back to him.” He said abruptly, tone largely emotionless.
He perked up at her next words, moving over her and pushing her into the bed beneath him. Amycus smirked into her neck, nibbling at it softly before moving his own neck towards her mouth. “Can you smell me now?” He asked huskily, wondering if she would be tempted to taste his skin. Their time together had been rushed and desperate but they had the entire evening together. Amycus didn’t see why they couldn’t have a little more fun.
Amycus laughed, dismissing her valid concern unintentionally. “Yeah right.” He replied, looking over at her with a smirk dancing across his lips. “I can run this house as a bachelor I’m sure.” There was a slight hesitation visible in his gaze but he pushed past it. Amycus knew he would fail as heir with no heirs of his own to push the Carrow name forward but maybe that was to be his legacy. Maybe the one good thing he could do for his name would be to bury it with his own fame and prowess. It wasn’t like there weren’t other Carrow’s alive and well in other parts of Europe. Heirs like himself raised by fathers unlike the twins own. The thought almost made him smile. “When we leave this shithole, I’ll push father off his little rock and claim the Estate for my own. If you’re worried about him arranging you a marriage then don’t because whatever he has planned after Hogwarts will be immaterial when I’m on the top.” Amycus was so confident that their father hadn’t already promised his sister away, so trusting in her lies that he thought they were safe. He believed he could protect her.
“I meant before,” Alecto raised an eye brow. “Or do you not remember, Oh I was so upset with you Amycus. Spin the bottle, and the fates made it so it would land on me.” She remembered with a smile. “After all siblings don’t kiss. And all i wanted to do was kiss you, feel you, be a part of you. That was the moment the rage hit, the monster just wanted to comsume and destroy everything but you, and all I wanted to do was kiss you.” She hummed. “Merlin, we were so innocent back then, 13 years old.” She but her lip looking at him. “Do you remember me back then, all sweet and innocent?”
She felt her back hit the bed, her smile widened. He was as unstable as she. The need pumping through him as much as it was her. Alecto smiled her laugh sounding like bells. “You have just claimed me brother.” She pointed out, her nails trailing up the stratches she left on his back. “I am sure I reek of you.” Her lips pecked a spot on his neck.
Alecto raised any eyebrow, but did not argue out loud. But she knew, and heir was required, any child she would have would loose the Carrow name, and it was Amycus job, as heir, son and man to impregnate as many women, or just a wife. Alecto found her self wishing for a second, that he had not been her brother, that she could carry his heir. Alecto’s eyes glanced at him, the whisperes she over heard, that the wedding was already in place. “All I ask Amycus, is when you push him off that rock.” She leaned her body into his, pushing skin on skin, her finger nails digging into his back, her lips against his ear so he could hear and feel every word. “That you make him bleed.”
“I don’t think you were ever really sweet and innocent Al but that’s what’s so intoxicating about you. You’re like me and I’m like you. We fit together so fucking well. No one else could ever understand that. You want to play innocent though and dress up like a pretty little school girl then I won’t say no though.” Amycus grinned at her, baring his teeth playfully as he snapped towards her.
“Good.” He replied huskily as he felt her lips at his skin. It was only right that she took on his scent, that she felt claimed by him. She belonged to him and right now that was all that mattered.
The brunette glanced at his sister as she spoke his name, a light smile gracing his features. It wasn’t often that he allowed himself to smile so warmly, with genuine care and affection in his eyes. There was just something about the way his name sounded on her tongue that was so god dammed right. He loved her.
Amycus nodded at her request, though honestly, he would have agreed to anything she asked him. What he wanted was to see her smile, for her to be happy and carefree. He knew with their father in the picture they would never have that. Shackled to the man that raised them in his poison in as permanent a way as they remain bound to each another. If Amycus could only server the ties he would have Alecto forever. “I can make him do more than bleed.” He replied coolly, taking some pleasure in the thought.
He knew confrontation between him and his father was nigh but he couldn’t help but feel apprehensive. Amycus was as excited as he was scared. He didn’t want to show Alecto any of that. But he feared it might be written all over his face. Amycus just wanted her to believe in him without a hint of doubt. He was a Carrow and he would persevere.
Self-hate radiated in ever pour of her being. She could feel the monster inside of her, the man, the monster, she could feel him invading still. 3 years later would she ever be clean again? She backed off. “Well what else did you mean Amycus?” She snapped. “You were perfect.” She mocked his voice, his expression. “What else is that supposed to mean.”
She looked around, panic pushing through her. No one was paying them any attention but he was being bold, playing with her life. It was like her anger was not her own, but at the same time was all that she was. She let him hug her, letting the anger build. “Let go of me Amycus, after all its my life you are gambling, holding me like this.”
Alecto closed her eyes at his words, wanting to shut him up wanting to slap him with news. Wanting him angry. “You should work on that, In the next year, I won’t be yours anymore.” She paused. “Mother and Father set a date.”
“Well I-” Amycus started as she backed away from him. He felt something snap inside him as she mocked his words, unable to stop himself from growling at her. “Alecto shut the fuck up for a minute and listen. You’re pushing me away and-and-” clenching his fists, Amycus bit the inside of his cheek. “Stupidly I fell for it.” He admitted, breathing heavily with the exertion it took him to not break something. Now wasn’t the time for that. Something was wrong here and he had to fix it. “So stop. You’re perfect for me just don’t think you can treat me like I’m a piece of shit.” Amycus strained his jaw, clenching it as he fought the tears he felt pricking at his eyes. It was unlike him to be so close to tears in public, fighting them stung his eyes. “Merlin.” He growled, turning away from her for a moment to blink. “I’m not Dad.” His voice strained with the weight of his emotion. This was an admission he had wanted to make for a while. Sometimes she looked at him like she did their father and it killed him. But now she spoke to him like he was that man and it was too much. Amycus was not their father. Surely she couldn’t think he was anything like him… Could she?
Amycus released her as if she had burned him. He looked around, wondering if her fire was at the fact that they had been caught but he couldn’t see any wandering eyes heading their way. “What the hell is wrong?” He asked, exasperated. Clearly he’d done something-or someone had-but what? Alecto was so angry with him and for what? Amycus racked his brain to think but he was drawing a blank. Whatever it was he needed to know it.
That’s when his world exploded. Everything went red, then silent. Or at least it did for him. It was Amycus’ turn to back away from her as the words sunk into his bones. She was to be married and Amycus just wasn’t sure how to process it all. He had never felt so humiliated in his life. Not only had his sister lied to him but her admission meant their father’s threat against her life had been nothing but empty words the whole time. Amycus had been playing the part of a fool for so long that it was no wonder his father thought him unworthy of the Carrow name.
“Who?” He asked, tone unwavering. “A date with who?”
So many thoughts were flying around his mind that he wasn’t sure how to process them all.
“I asked who.” His voice remained even, but pure hatred seeped into his eyes. Amycus squeezed them shut, the tears had vanished. He took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself but the question spewed out from his mouth in a louder demand. “WHO IS IT?!”
She would have to admit that for a moment she had felt a source of pride within her own actions, that backbone as he had described—that spark so unused to seeing the eyes of another that it wished to stretch further, and yet the thoughts which came leaching in after it. Those beginnings of fears—memories of early dealings with the boy, his sister—no none of that could be. She needed to protect herself. Her secrets. “I-I do,” she tried in her fight not to stammer, “When it suits.”
Looking down at those pages—sketches and scribbled notes, Sybill tried to rationalize the spilling of such things, of giving up, and yet the way her heart would rally within her chest. The way he had always tried to protect them—their secret—kept within the dark—and she couldn’t bring her lips to part. The words simply wouldn’t come, save for the murmured charm to set those things into a pile of controlled embers. Parchment curled beneath the licking of those flames as emerald eyes filled with fear looked to him. “S-S-Some things aren’t meant for prying eyes….” she swallowed, as that usual buzzing feeling— that familiar weight began to press in on her consciousness.
“I was fair with you was I not? I gave you a warning. I gave you a chance. I gave you the opportunity to do the right thing and you threw it in my fucking face.” The last word came out with such bitterness that Amycus could have been talking to his father. He growled, grabbing Sybill’s face with a rough hand. He gripped her jaw cruelly, pretending to examine her before he released her face and grabbed the back of her head with his other hand. Amycus put his entire body weight into forcing her face into the desk she had been sat at mere moments ago, hoping to break her nose. He wasn’t going to do any damage to her that he couldn’t fix himself. That’s how it worked with Sybill. There was never anything permanent. Just the knowledge that he could hurt her just as easly the next time. “Clearly you’ve forgotten just who the fuck I am.” He spat down at her, awaiting her next move. “Need more persuading or have you remembered darling?” Part of him hoped she resisted.
“Are you trying to convince me of your virtuosity?” Narcissa raised an eyebrow, though she detected the shift in his mood.
“Amycus,” she whined at his curt responses. “You asked… And how do you expect me to form a good, honest opinion of you and how charming you seem to think you are if you’re only going to upset because I can’t seem to stop saying what I think?”
“Is that even a word?” Amycus asked, his tone leaning towards the playful spectrum once more. Usually he was ice and fire. Anger and cool composure. This potion, whatever was in it, had changed him to flit between a playful silly attitude and a bitter resentment of all those around him. “Virtuosity.” He said, testing it on his own tongue.
“Upset?” He denied, “I’m not upset.” The frustration crept back into his tone. “I think it’s unfair that you form an opinion on me based on rumour and speculation. I’ve suffered at the hands of rumour for too long and it just isn’t bloody fair.” The truth spilled from his lips with unintentional ease and a slightly whiny tone that he wasn’t proud of. Still. It kind of felt good to get that off his chest for once.
Speaking of Devils// Carrows
She smiled at his words. Alecto knew he meant it, every promise and oath. She wondered just how far the burning would go, would he burn their house, home? their parents? This school? London? The world? All for her. She smiled into his shoulder and held him closer. Not wanting to move. A shiver ran through her, and sigh as she let the memory flood over her. “I was so mad.” She whispered in response.
“You wouldn’t kiss me in spin the bottle, I thought it was only me who needed you.” She closed her eyes, her thighs rubbing together as she let the feeling of need flow back in, even remembering it sent everything into hyper awate “Some times I still feel that hunger. In transfiguration when you get that little smug look, or in potions when the whole room smells like you because of love potions.” She just hummed once more at the promise.
A small little whisper screaming lies. “Until you are married, or I am…”
“I-Al...” Amycus remembered the instance with reddening cheeks. “I wanted to but...” His gaze darkened and he shrunk away from her. “You don’t know what father told me. He-” Amycus stopped speaking. Unable to repeat the poison. “It would have got back to him.” He said abruptly, tone largely emotionless.
He perked up at her next words, moving over her and pushing her into the bed beneath him. Amycus smirked into her neck, nibbling at it softly before moving his own neck towards her mouth. “Can you smell me now?” He asked huskily, wondering if she would be tempted to taste his skin. Their time together had been rushed and desperate but they had the entire evening together. Amycus didn’t see why they couldn’t have a little more fun.
Amycus laughed, dismissing her valid concern unintentionally. “Yeah right.” He replied, looking over at her with a smirk dancing across his lips. “I can run this house as a bachelor I’m sure.” There was a slight hesitation visible in his gaze but he pushed past it. Amycus knew he would fail as heir with no heirs of his own to push the Carrow name forward but maybe that was to be his legacy. Maybe the one good thing he could do for his name would be to bury it with his own fame and prowess. It wasn’t like there weren’t other Carrow’s alive and well in other parts of Europe. Heirs like himself raised by fathers unlike the twins own. The thought almost made him smile. “When we leave this shithole, I’ll push father off his little rock and claim the Estate for my own. If you’re worried about him arranging you a marriage then don’t because whatever he has planned after Hogwarts will be immaterial when I’m on the top.” Amycus was so confident that their father hadn’t already promised his sister away, so trusting in her lies that he thought they were safe. He believed he could protect her.
That’s exactly what Remus didn’t want to happen, but he didn’t want to be manipulated by the Slytherin for the rest of the school year. Remembering vividly what happened last time Remus went against Amycus he nodded curtly, handing one of his cups to him. He didn’t dare to look up at him, but instead stepping away to get back in line for another drink.
Amycus laughed cruelly as he took the cup, enjoying the power he had over one of the fearsome marauders. If his father could see him now, Amycus knew he would be proud to call him a Carrow and his heir. He drained half the cups contents, intoxicated by control, before he followed Remus to the queue. “Good boy.” He praised in a condescending tone. “I’m glad to see you’ve learned your place.” Amycus couldn’t help himself. He always had to push further and rub any small victory in.
“I like a man who holds his liquor better than me and can still be charming,” Evan said recklessly, applying the same flirtatious tone he did to Amycus’s sister to Amycus. It was partially an experiment on his half, but he truly had few boundaries when it came to the Carrows and when it came to his flirting. If anyone ever truly held it to him, he only played it off with the same charm he applied it. “But I intend to be just as drunk in the end, else I would not have left the dormitory for any reason.”
Amycus played with the glass he had placed to rest, meeting Evan’s gaze with confidence. He bit his lip, smirking at the flirtatious compliment. Amycus lapped up any positive attention he got and right now, with the warm buzz flowing in his veins from the alcohol he felt damn good.
“I think this evening is looking promising,” he replied in a husky tone subconsciously moving towards his companion. “Though I hear I have a reputation now.” Amycus pursed his lips slightly at the admission, unable to fully hide his feelings on the matter. “Wouldn’t want to sully yours with my behaviour now would we?” The question was open and Amycus wondered how Evan would take it. In part his statement was true. Amycus was getting quite the reputation for himself. Even prominent figures such as Narcissa Black were unsure whether they should be seen with him. Amycus just found himself curious.
“
Muggles Got it Right
The bad blood between Amycus and Sirius was nothing new but it was not all the boys had ever known. There was a time, though Sirius couldn’t believe how long ago it felt, that the two could have called themselves friends. Growing up as boys, long before school, they came from similar families. The same ideas, the same standards to live up to, and the same cruelty when said standards were not to be reached. The differences came later, when Sirius rebelled and Amycus conformed.
But even knowing how far he distanced himself from his family, it was hard for Sirius to believe how far he and Amycus had fallen. How far he and all the people from his old life had pushed themselves apart. He knew he had changed but to see the change age had placed on Amycus? If he wasn’t so fucking angry, he would almost have been sad.
He was angry, though. He was fuming with a rage he had only felt once or twice before in his life. It was an anger his mother would have been proud of, a righteous rage. The only problem she would have had was that it was in protection of a halfblood werewolf.
“You know exactly what I walked away from and you and I both know it wasn’t a loving family,” he spat back as the distance between the boys closed. If anyone would understand what he had faced, what he had chosen to escape from, it was the Carrow boy. But where Sirius had chosen freedom, Amycus had chosen conformity.
“But this isn’t about my sorry excuse for a family.” There was more he had to say, more he intended to shout before he took his first swing but he saw Amycus reaching for his wand far before was in swinging distance and he knew his chance to speak was over. He had no intention to duel this out like wizards, not after the beating Remus had taken. He wanted the satisfaction of feeling bones break, not watching from a magically ensured distance. With practiced speed, he ducked his head and charged at the Slytherin, hoping their bodies would collide long before a spell hit him.
“You walked away from your brother.” Amycus growled before spitting at the ground in disgust. The brunette knew deep down he wasn’t referring to Regulus when he said brother but he would pretend he did all the same. Amycus had to try and keep this anger for the insult Sirius had shown the Black family burning bright and not show the blood traitor his true feelings. Amycus had never been good at the whole self-righteous fury though. He wasn’t a man of the people by any stretch of the imagination and abandonment cut him raw. He just hoped that Sirius wouldn't consider that.
At that the Carrow found himself wondering if Sirius even remembered how they used to be, the thought that he might have forgotten made his blood boil more than the idea that Sirius might think Amycus felt something about the loss of his companionship. “You abandoned us.” Amycus hissed, stepping forward with vengeance in his gaze. “You...” Amycus started, clenching his jaw. “You left because you were weak. Don’t fucking kid yourself that you left because it was the right thing to do because you left your brother in that house you belive to be hell on earth. You were fucking scared and weak. Some Gryffindor ey?” The truth of it was Amycus envied him. If he believed for a second that he could run away with Alecto and escape all of this then he would do it without hesitation. Of course that could never happen. He was trapped. Bound by his blood and by his flesh. The irony stung.
Amycus jerked his wand up in a hasty motion as Sirius darted forward, stumbling backwards over his forgotten broom in surprise. He fell to the floor, his ankle catching on the polished oaken branch awkwardly. Amycus hadn’t expected the Gryffindor to simply charge towards him, abandoning all sense in the process. Then again, Sirius never had been known for his sense. It could have been all too easy for Amycus to simply fire off a spell and incapacitate Sirius before the encounter could even begin. At least it should have been before he fell on his arse and made a fool on himself. It seemed like a lifetime ago that the two had been childhood friends. Thick as thieves his uncle had said. How wrong that man had been.
Amycus sat on the ground for a moment, dumbfounded by the sheer lunacy of Sirius’ decision. This was why the Black had been put into Gryffindor in the first place. Amycus found himself thinking bitterly even though he really ought to be thinking about how to resolve the problem at hand. Sirius was impulsive, brash and above all, courageous. Whereas Amycus had tried to appear prepared for the impending conflict. Instead he just felt like a cowardly child. Like the boy his father had always warned him that he might become.
Amycus scowled and pushed himself up to his feet angrily, dropping his wand in the process. Not that it mattered to him any more. If he was going to fight Sirius, they would fight like animals. Sirius came crashing into him, the sheer velocity knocking them both to the ground. Amycus grunted as the wind was stolen from his lungs.