nemo dat quod non habet @sirpetertaylor - Tumblr Blog

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needed to draw blood.

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

Rest in peace to boiling water.

You will be mist.

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet the koalafications.

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

How does a rabbi make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

Why did the M&M go to school?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.

Where does Batman go to the bathroom?

The batroom.

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor? If you’re a word nerd, here are 20 grammar jokes that are hilarious.

What’s Forest Gump’s password?

1Forest1.

nemo dat quod non habet