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Is this how you schedule a postā¦? Well.. It should be around 4:02am and by the time this message is reached to you, Iāll be hopefully gone by then. Iāve disappointed so many people in doing this, but I honestly couldnāt find any more strength. Iām sorry. Iām stuck in this tidal wave of a mess and I would keep drowning each and every day; I tried to claw my way out, I honestly did. I still donāt see how anyone could ever mourn for such a piece of shit like meā¦ maybe I still havenāt seen it- and I never will. Maybe this is all for the best, you shouldnāt be sad, if you are, and you shouldnāt linger on my existence any longer.
I fooled myself into thinking I was getting better in comparison to two years ago, but Itād be difficult thinking so when the constant thoughts would slither into my mind in the depths of the night, leaving me with no other options but to leave. Call me a coward, call me an idiot, I deserve it. Iād rather leave everything behind than to live any longer like this.
Elena: Youāve been there from the start and I couldnāt have imagined where I would be without you. I placed my trust upon you and you know the things I now would never be able to speak from my own mouth; I thank you for being there and listening. Youāve brought me so much happiness and I feel terrible for doing this do you, Iām sorry I broke our promiseā¦ canāt I be replaceable?Ā
Natalie: Weāve talked for such a short period of time and something drew me into trusting youā¦ but I still canāt speak; Iām sorry. Iād send you this on private butā¦ knowing youā¦ youād probably contact help for me and I donāt want it- I donāt need it. Youāre such an amazing girl, and I thank you for understanding and staying by my side. The both of you, thank you so much. Iād mention so many more people but know this, every message Iāve read and every message had placed a smile upon my face, so thank you for that. I remember you and Iāll hopefully never forget you all.
I wonāt lie and say the thought of dying doesnāt frighten me because Iām actually shitting myself right now, but I have to be strong at least for thisā¦ the only thing I can think of right now. You all have made me so contentā¦ Iāll be better, wherever I am right nowā¦
Thank you, everyone who cared about me. thank you, ģ¤ģ“ė.
I hope that one day, you all find it in your hearts to forgive me.
