Jamie is Ready.

Irrelevant logs of an insecure adult. Jamie, that's me!

[puttingherinhistory]

Alcohol is genuinely a hard drug and it’s literally fucking everywhere. We should all be more horrified at the way alcohol abuse and alcohol dependency is so culturally enshrined. Alcohol abuse is especially pushed on and expected of young people as a supposed necessary 'coming of age' experience. And if you don't do alcohol abuse as a 'coming of age experience' when you're a teen or if you think it's fucked the way alcohol abuse and alcohol dependency is culturally pushed on us, people sneer at you and treat you like you're an uptight naive church grandma.

[somberette]

Okay I really can't text rn

I'll get back to this when I'm calmed down and if I even remember this

[somberette]

My mother had said a lot of things today

[somberette]

So right now, I don't where to tell what's going on

Shoot, I feel like I should've even be telling y'all what's going on

[somberette]

My mom wants me out the house by the end of March

I'm still not taking this easy but it what had to be done

And if I didn't think she was bluffing, our argument sure seal the deal

[somberette]

I just need to get out of here

It's not gonna be easy but it has to come like this

[somberette]

I'm like shaking right now and I can't think properly

What I mean is that there's like a multiple actions and ideas I want to do, but all I can do is be still

[somberette]

I'm scared rn

But I'll be okay

[somberette]

Well, that's it so far

I'll let you know if anything happens

Or if I remember this account

[somberette]

I don't want to mess with anybody's money

Like, I just can't

[somberette]

I wish I can start one of those like fundme things

But like, I don't have a good reason to want money

I'm just gonna have to get it myself

[somberette]

Lord

I came in here to be calm and collected

But here I am all heated again

Dammit, I was supposed to levelheaded, man

Man, this sucks

Why am I so angry?

Like, I just don't understand

[somberette]

This was all happening while realizing if my own mother doesn't love me

I mean, I could be exaggerating

But, I don't know, it feels like she doesn't

Certainly don't favor me more than my sister

I mean, she threw my prized collectibles out

And that time, I was a serious mental breakdown

And if she does love me, a funny way of showing it I'll tell you that much

Like, am I a nuisance to her or something?

Am I in the wrong?

Like, I just don't understand why she has to do me like this

After everything I've done

I'm the most boring, uptight, strict, and no fun person motherfucker on this planet

And for what?

I don't do shit

Hell, I can't even do shit

Your child is the one who's problematic

Yet she gets to stay with you

And I don't even care if she's 17

My mother will gladly kick me out at 17 to go live with my dad

How lucky for her

So happy

But that's okay

No really it's okay

[somberette]

It was nothing I even felt before

I couldn't breathe

I cried even harder

I started clutching my pillow as tight as I could but I felt so weak

I couldn't even think

It was truly a terrifying experience that I don't want to happen again

[somberette]

But the real kicker is that she's kicking me out the house by April 1st

I mean, that just gives me I whole other reasons to cry too

Cause what did I do for you to tell me to go to my dad's house by April 1st?

I texted my friends and then immediately called my dad

It was my mistake to call him while I was mentally unstable and still crying

But I just needed to him, y'know?

It's what she told me to do

I told him the situation because he was the one who me and my sis to Best Buy

And when I got me to the April 1st, I legitimately started having a panic attack

[somberette]

And I'm here trying to come up with an explanation on how to tell to my mother

But my sister told her before I could and I just bursted into tears

I just, felt so bad that I resorted to that because I felt like I was using to gain sympathy

But these were real tears, I just didn't want to her to get mad at me

Because I didn't even touch it when it was broken, I was in Ma's room watching The Suicide Squad

But it was just uncontrollable tears and emotions pouring out

She said it was ok, but we're not allowed to touch it when she gets a new one

Well, I mean, I don't like the idea, but I suppose I understand

[somberette]

Well

It started a week ago when my mom's computer stopped working

And throughout that week, I was stressing out trying my best to get this fixed

And I'm at this point where, I think that the laptop is beyond repair

Unless I spend money of course, and I was willing too

But man, Geek Squad

They'll really give you a whole lot of nothing for 20 minutes unless you paid them 99.99 dollars at least look at it closer