warning: english isn't my first language so there's going to be some grammar error and some headcanon.
2 weeks since Flea got back from the tour with Jane's Addiction.
3 weeks since Dave last contacted Chad.
Chad couldn’t get a normal sleep for the past few days because of this. He was so excited for Dave to finally meet him after the tour but he didn't get a single call from him afterwards. He waited for a week because he thought Dave was very tired. Chad waited and waited even though he kept saying in his head of how much he missed his boyfriend. Then, 2 weeks in and still no contact at all.
Chad called Dave from time to time but there's no answer. He once thought he did something wrong and upset Dave. Maybe because of the album they're working on right now or how Chad mistreated him. Though, Dave is always open whenever he feels uncomfortable with him so it's pretty impossible for him to give Chad a silent treatment.
Out of curiosity and worriedness, Chad took the guts to go to Dave's house. He bought some fried rice and orange chicken since the restaurant always gives a big portion and then he went with his Harley-Davidson he bought together with Dave, and the rest of the chili peppers. He wears his casual, black-band shirt, leather jacket, and his red headscarf.
As Chad arrived at Dave's small apartment, he took off his leather jacket. Then, he knocked the door lightly, afraid he's going to annoy Dave. No answer. Chad started calling him out, "Dave?" Again, no answer. Chad started knocking harder and faster and still, he got the same thing.
After a couple of knocking and shouting Dave's name, Chad remembered that Dave gave him a copy of his key to him. It shows his trust towards the bigger guy. Chad immediately tries to find the key. It's gotta be somewhere in this jacket… After checking every part of his jacket, he found it. Chad rushed to unlock the door and open it quickly.
As he stepped in, the living room was all dark. There's some cocaine and heroin on the table but there's no sight of Dave. He's supposed to be sober by now but it seems like he went back to using it on tour. Chad shouted again, "Dave! Are you there?!"
Chad heard footsteps, very lazy-small footsteps from Dave's bedroom. So, Dave is here, he thought to himself. He just slept the whole time. Dave opened the bedroom door and walked slowly. He is holding on to the wall as an anchor since he feels like he can fall anytime soon. Dave is shirtless, just wearing his underwear and his hair is all messy. Even from the dark, Dave looks really pale like he hasn't breathed any fresh air or eaten anything in a while.
After observing Dave for a bit, Chad stepped closer towards him and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. "Hey, bud. You doing okay?" he whispered to Dave's ear.
"Chad..." Dave muttered back. His mouth is trembling as he speaks. Dave started hugging him, tighter than Chad thought. Dave nuzzled his nose on Chad's neck, inhaling the familiar scent like he hasn't met him for years. Dave missed that alcohol, warm, sweat he usually smells whenever Chad is around. "I missed you so much."
"I'm here, don't worry." Chad spoke more louder than before. "I got some food for you. Let's move to the couch, shall we?" Chad picked up Dave from the ground and then walked towards the couch in the living room.
Chad put down Dave carefully. He doesn't know where to put the food since the table is filled with drugs and he doesn't want Dave to get angry for taking away his drugs so he puts it on the middle of the couch between them.
"Is Perry acting all bitchy again that you start using drugs again?" Chad asked when he's unwrapping the plastic.
"Don't get me started on him..." Dave straightened up his body and noticed all the mess on the table. "Fuck, sorry, man. I didn't know you going to come and…—"
"No, let's focus on you eating, alright?" Chad opened the styrofoam box to see that all the food is still warm.
Dave only took a glance at the food and winced immediately. "I don't feel like it."
"C’mon, I know you haven't been eating well."
Chad rolled his eyes. "I know you. Just eat it already." He retorted and pushed the food towards Dave.
Because Chad forced him, Dave took the box and ate it, painfully slow. Chad only stares at him when Dave is eating, noticing small details. Example, how his eye bags are getting bigger, Dave's hair being untaken care of and getting longer, the noticeable lines on his cheek showing Dave getting skinnier, and Dave's smell. Chad is used to the smell of drugs, he himself used it, but the smell stings his nose. It also mixed with sweat shows that he hasn't really cleaned himself for these past couple of days.
Chad's eyebrows furrowed. He can't help but feel extremely worried for his boyfriend but it would feel hypocritical for Chad since he still drinks a lot, especially when Dave isn’t around. Without realizing, both of them miss each other dearly and their only escape from this misery is by going back to their addiction. It ruined both of them, but is there really any other option?
Dave noticed the awkward silence which is rare for Chad who usually always talks with him especially when he's looking at this. Dave looked up to Chad and asked, "what's wrong?"
Chad sighed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You tell me."
Dave put down the box for a minute. "Again, sorry for the mess."
"It's not that, Dave. You've been clean for a while. The tour just... fucked with your head."
"I never fully clean." Dave took a spoonful of fried rice and munching his food down.
"I know, but this seems way worse than before... I'm just worried." Chad shot his head down as he said it.
"You're worried about me? Drug addict using drugs?"
"Have you looked at yourself? It's more than using drugs."
The younger man went quiet and bit down the chicken, trying to ignore Chad's question. Chad feels a wave of regret. He could've been there for Dave but no, the entire time, their only communication is through the telephone. Not to mention, Dave didn't call him everyday or even every week. Chad is always the one who waits for him. He doesn't mind, of course, but looking at Dave right now, Chad should've called him more often than just wait for another call from him.
Chad took a deep breath before speaking. "Want to talk about why you ignore me for a couple of weeks?"
"I was..." Dave stuttered. He dropped the fork down and took a moment to think what he's been doing but all he could remember is using drugs and playing guitar. Even though he could just answer drugs and play guitar, his mouth ended up trembling when he wanted to answer. He can't bring himself to reply to Chad's question. Too embarrassing and readable.
"Drugs, sleep, whatever.... I don't know why I ask that when the proof is right in front of me." Chad said in his frustrated tone. The type of tone Dave only hears when Chad is talking with Anthony or Flea. Dave’s guess is right. That alcoholic guy can easily read his answer.
There's silence between them for a couple of minutes. Dave isn't brave enough to pick up the fork again and continue eating. Whenever Dave tries to open his mouth, nothing comes out. Chad didn't even do anything at all. His hands still crossed and his eyebrows all furrowed down.
After taking a deep breath and pulling his hair back, Dave finally spoke again. "Look, honey, I can't help it. The tour fucked me up, Perry being an asshole as usual, I need to find an escape. I need to go back to this hole again."
"And by that, you mean ignoring, not just me, but the entire band too?"
"... My head is all fucked up and I can't even talk properly when I shoot myself every second." Dave tried to explain himself and all he got was a nod from Chad. "I'm very sorry, Chad, I should've acted better."
Dave put his hand on Chad's lap. Chad only stared at Dave's hand and then to his arm that has some needle mark on it. The younger man pulled his hand away from Chad's lap when he noticed where Chad was gazing on.
"Shy?" Chad asked with a small tug on his lips.
"Embarrassed." Dave replied shortly and he picked up the box again to continue eating.
"Isn't that the same thing?"
The younger man didn't reply to Chad and took another bite of the chicken. He’s irritated at the older man for teasing him at a moment like this. Chad watched Dave eating a couple of bites before opening his mouth. "I forgive you. Just don't forget to call me."
Dave stopped eating to look at the older man just to make sure he's serious. Chad admires how Dave looks at him. Those eyes are what he’s been seeking for months. Even with his chapped lips parted a bit, Chad still loved every second of that reaction. He chuckled, "I can't stay mad at you forever, babe, especially after that apology."
"Right..." Dave finally formed a small smile after all that frowning from his bedroom.
"Go on, finish your food." Chad told Dave to continue but instead, he threw some of his drugs to the floor to put the food on the table. Chad only watches Dave every single move and wonders if he's still high this whole time.
"I'm full." Dave said, his voice was very quiet, hardly above a whisper. Chad didn't say anything nor force Dave to continue. There's still a lot left but at this point, Chad just let Dave do anything he wants. He already got the answers he wanted and Dave ate a bit which already satisfied him more than anything.
Dave pulled his body closer to Chad and laid his head down on Chad's shoulder. Their arms are touching lightly and Chad just now noticed how cold Dave's body is.
"I'll never leave you hanging again like that. That's selfish..." Dave spoke all of the sudden.
Chad blinked a couple of times, just to make sure if everything was real. He took Dave’s hand and intertwined their fingers together. "I know, Davey. You were just dealing with your own stuff."
It took a moment for Dave to speak again. He’s feeling the warm palm beneath him. "... You are always so understanding with me. I wonder why..." Dave muttered. People would think he's sarcastic right now, but his voice sounds genuine. He genuinely asked Chad why he cared so much for him. No one has really been this caring with Dave before but when Chad appeared in his life, he learned how to feel love all over again.
Chad also wondered. Why does he care so much for his bandmate? He never really does. Chad always separates himself from the band and tries to keep it 'professional' but when Dave agreed to join, he broke those rules. He thought to himself, is this what genuine love feels like? A person can really change for his loved one like this, huh? His thoughts get distracted when he feels Dave brushing his finger, softly.
"Can you keep me close for a while?" Dave asked. He usually asks this when he wants to hug or cuddle but is too shy to say it out loud. The concept of him being this vulnerable was never on his bingo list. Both of them are surprised by how clingy Dave can get. He would hug the bigger man closely whenever they slept beside each other. Chad found it endearing, though, maybe because he loves how comfortable and vulnerable Dave is when he’s around him.
Chad nodded. "Of course, anything you want." Chad changed his position, moving away from Dave to lay back on the couch arm.
The smaller man followed him and laid his head on Chad’s arm. Dave involuntarily wrapped his arms around Chad’s waist and pulled him closer, immediately feeling the warm body of Chad. Dave’s favorite thing about hugging someone is hearing their heartbeat. A plus point when someone brushes his hair.
Chad did exactly that. His left hand went to Dave's wrist while his right hand is on Dave’s hair. Dave trembled beneath Chad’s touch like wind running through tall grass. He doesn’t understand why, is it because he hasn't got any physical contact with a human in a while or he just missed Chad a lot?
Whatever it is, Dave is glad he’s in Chad's arms right now. He can hear his heartbeat clearly. The steady, even, heartbeat, like his drumming. Chad’s fingers caressed his hair gently, and all of the sudden, the time freezed until Chad kissed his forehead. It’s everything that he’s been craving, not drugs nor pleasure from sex, just being cuddled by his boyfriend brings him so much joy. All he needed was contact from his loved one and he finally got it.
origamiaround
titsay
discoholicmusic
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
germansingergirl
