Frillish's Side Blog @space-patterned-jellyfish - Tumblr Blog

landlady has bought these automatic scent disperser thingies and every time they go off I shit myself cause it sounds like someone's sneezing and I KNOW there's nobody else around

#tiny machine: achoo #me: INTRUDER ALERT

fuckin big brain moment this morning lads

hot frying pan about to topple over so me being the smart genius i am SLAM MY HAND INTO IT

now I have a painful welt up the side of my hand

#thankfully i wasnt stupid enough to put my hand in hot oil #just the rim of the pan #hurts like hell

hrolghhrhhg d i s e a s e d

#i hate having a cold #you can take meds for most things but #having slimed up sinuses is the WORST

idiot cat scrambles over my knees to sit at the window and chirrup at a leaf (?) causing me to spill hot tea all over my hand and the sofa. more news at [redacted]

why does the hold music for the doctors surgery sound like bass boosted and underwater filtered vaporware

#all the automated voice messages sound like the microphone is being eaten too

fuck off, fuck OFF, you chip-stealing CUNTS! Die, just DIE, in the SKY, but don't fall down on my house. Throw yourselves into the MOTHERFUCKING OCEAN.

Bitches.

-My mum, at the seagulls screaming around our house

#something tells me she doesn't like them much

oh my fuck i know i live right on the coast but can these seagulls STOP SCREAMING for TWO MINUTES

#sounds like theres a crowd of them circling and just screaming #at what? god knows

my cat... my beautiful, 7kg chunklord cat... has almost his ENTIRE WEIGHT on my forearm... how long has it been since I had feeling in my fingertips? Will my bones be the same shape? I love you dearly, cat, but you have NO SENSE of self awareness.

just been reading up on how to keep pet chickens. i really want some!! they're friendly and reasonably low maintenance!! you can rehome battery chickens and give them a new life!! free eggs!! chicken friends...

EW there was a fly in my room and it touched my face

#and it was RESISTANT to hairspray and spider webs #truly a nightmare creature

Plaintiff: I want £100 for the cost of a replacement phone because your goat broke it

Defendant: You knew the character of the goat so it's your own fault

#daytime tv is terrible #the goat is apparently in a relationship with a llama #oh no wait apparently they broke up #im so fucking confused #this is on a televised court show whats going on

sneeze sneaz sneez sneze snaize

#been sneezing a lot today

FATHER WHY MUST YOU SNORE LIKE A FUCKING TROLL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

#guess who ain't sleeping

got called a "fucking cunt" and "fucking queer" for having the audacity to walk past a baby in a pram today lads

#ah the joys of living in my city

god i hate the integration of meme language into regular language. i threw something into the bin and upon realising there was something still in it i immediately thought "oops i had better un-yeet that packet"

#thx brain

so im sat in the lab and outside the window is a guy walking past with his phone pressed to his ear blasting the fucking YMCA

#last year there was someone playing the lavender town theme really loud #what is it about working in this lab and unusual musical experiences

i fucking hate sewing

#oh yeah frillish why dont you hand make something nice for your grandma's birthday #because thread is satan's work and it KEEPS TANGLING WIT ITSELF. HOW. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU TYING A KNOT WITH YOURSELF #THERE ISN'T A LOOSE END HOW DO YOU MAKE A KNOT #fucking. devil.#oh ill just untangle it now it is fine :)#no. youre a fucking fool.

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