Spock & Sparkle

ENFP & INTJ: mildly offending MBTI-posts since 2016

[spockandsparkle]

MBTI Love Languages

INTJ: I’m considering having you in my 2050 Vision for my Future Life.

INFJ: I want to get a cat with you.

ENFP: You’re the most intriguing person I know.

ENTP: You’re the least stupid person I know.

INFP: Hey, I wrote a poem of my feelings for you <3

ISFP: Hey, I wrote a song about my feelings for you <3

ENFJ: You’d fit in great with my friends and family.

ESFJ: Wanna start a family together?

ISTJ: I’ll be loyal to you.

ISFJ: I’ll take care of you <3

ESFP: I wanna dance with somebody… YOU!!!

ESTP: You’re hot.

INTP: What is love?

ISTP: I fixed your car.

ENTJ: Together we’ll rule the world!

ESTJ: Together we’ll run my company!

[spockandsparkle]

INTJ & ENFP reaction to lockdown

Government: "Social gatherings are now forbidden. You may go outside for essentials, but please do so alone. Do not host parties. Keep 1.5m distance from others."

ENFP: "No social gatherings? No ice cream in the park? NO HUGS FOR TWO MONTHS?! The walls are closing in... Is this a plot for Introvert World Domination, by making extroverts go insane??"

INTJ: "A slight inconvenience. This barely deviates from my normal social routine. Wait, did I just eat that whole bag of chips? Why do I suddenly crave tequila?"

[spockandsparkle]

Ni vs. Ne: studying

INTJ: What do I need to learn specifically? *follows course specified learning goals and studies provided materials*

ENFP: What do you think we should learn? I mean, they talked a lot about trees and stuff, but what about plankton? Plankton are like... the trees of the sea. They produce oxygen too! *starts brainfarting all over, Googles a bunch of seemingly unrelated stuff and accidentally learns things they should know for the course, texts friends why plankton would make a great pet*

[spockandsparkle]

xNFP's will understand.

[spockandsparkle]

xNFProcrastination

ENFP: "Oh, a thing I should do to ensure my future!" *puts it on a to-do list*

INTJ: *starts computer*

ENFP: "Watcha doin'?"

INTJ: "I'm ensuring your future. The only thing you don't procrastinate is procrastination."

[spockandsparkle]

Left: excited ENFP. Right: INTJ backing away slowly

[spockandsparkle]

*INTJ and ENFP teaming up for a uni course*

INTJ: “Okay... so click the toolbox, the toolsets, and then click the model.”

ENFP: “Model?! But she ain’t that pretty!!”

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INTJ & beer

ENFP: "INTJ... This is an intervention."

*ENFP grabs INTJ's 0.0% beer*

ENFP: "Are you a non-alcoholic?"

[spockandsparkle]

INTJ ranting to INFP: “Why does ENFP think I’m socially incapable? I am capable. I’m just not social. I’m asocially capable.

[spockandsparkle]

INFP: *makes lemonade*

INTJ: *takes lemonade from INFP* “Awwww how did you know I was craving lemonade?” *sips*

INFP: “That was supposed to be mine.”

[spockandsparkle]

Is the INTJ single? She's very hot.

No, she’s in a relationship with an INFP. Besides, her body temperature is actually slightly below average (36.7°C/97°F  instead of 37°C/98.6°F) so I wouldn’t say she’s that hot.

[spockandsparkle]

INTJ: “Why is Lady Gaga not cool anymore?”

INFP: “Climate change.”

INTJ: “Plausible.”

[spockandsparkle]

sp blind: -tries to repair shoelaces-

sp blind: -sets shoelaces on fire-

[spockandsparkle]

I wanted to make an ‘MBTI types as ABBA songs’ post, but soon realized nearly every song applies to EXFPs

[spockandsparkle]

Hi, ENFP here.

I’ve had to send in a song that ‘suits you, or tells something about you’ for a team trust training thing, and I choose ‘Maria’ from The Sound of Music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-VRyQprlu8 Since “She's always late for everything, except for every meal“, among other lines of lyrics, applies perfectly.

ESFP’s are the Dancing Queens. ENFP’s are unpredictable as weather and as flighty as a feather. I dare you to find ABBA lyrics which better applies to ENFP’s than to ESFP’s.

Sincerely,

- ENFP

[spockandsparkle]

Party with +1

Person: "I'll probably bring my boyfriend."

ENFP: "Someone bring me a blind date!"

ENFP: "..or a deaf one, I don't discriminate."

[spockandsparkle]

INTJ, looking at a house INFP designed: “Wow you really got a feel for this kind of stuff!”

INFP: “I do... I have lots of feelings.”

[spockandsparkle]

3D

ENFP waving special 3D-cover edition of book around: "You HAVE to read Brave New World, it's brilliant! Okay, the characters are kind of twodimensional, but the overarching CONCEPT..."

INTJ, interrupting: "But the glasses solve that issue, right?"

ENFP, confused: "Wha--?"

INTJ: "Because the characters are twodimensional but you have the 3D-edition. So is it better when you read it with the 3D-glasses on?"