selective and private writing blog loved truly by ani, twenty four. list of muses found in source, queer ships preferred ✿ opens, resources.
RMH

ellievsbear

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
almost home

oozey mess
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One Nice Bug Per Day

#extradirty
wallacepolsom
Misplaced Lens Cap
Xuebing Du
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taylor price
todays bird
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$LAYYYTER
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Product Placement

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@springrides
selective and private writing blog loved truly by ani, twenty four. list of muses found in source, queer ships preferred ✿ opens, resources.
andrew recognizes bait when it's sitting right in front of him, glossy lips and dusty textbooks included — bad habit, as he takes it anyway. pride makes the stupid choice feel earned, for some peculiar reason. ‘ do you ask every stranger that? or am i getting special treatment? ’ chair shifts beneath him as he leans back, giving her enough room to leave without making it easy to pretend the conversation is over. eyes dip once to the books gathered at her chest, then back to her undeniably remarkable features. ‘ and for the record, i never said you weren't pretty. i said i wasn't following you. wildly different accusations. ’ grin pulls across his face lazily, words said with the same stupid charm that has earned him thousands of girls in his dm's. ‘ yeah. fine. you're pretty — even for a stalker, i guess. ’
stares at homme for a long moment, eyes narrowing as she studies maddening grin spreading across countenance. no response comes — his expression far too familiar, leaving her without any worthwhile rebuttal to throw back at him. ❛ oh my god. ❜ it hits her then. books she'd been holding tightly against chest drop onto mahogany table before him with a loud thud, noise cutting through café's quiet atmosphere. a handful of miffed faces immediately turning in their direction at the disruption, but she pays them no mind. ❛ you're the guy my friend is, like, always watching — you're always flirting with your viewers! ❜ the realization settles in fully, and suddenly the compliment that had moments ago stirred an unfamiliar warmth in abdomen leave nothing but a strange chill behind. ❛ huh. ❜ sound falls quietly from plump lips, lowering herself back into her seat as chin comes to rest in propped up palm, studying him for a long moment. ❛ you're cuter on camera. ❜
sound he makes is a scoff, captivated by the sheer audacity of her words. ‘ aaaand… what reason would i have to be following you? ’ same question could be turned right back on him. ‘ look i'm flattered, really, ’ he says, playing the antagonist solely to ruffle her feathers even more. ‘ but i don't exchange numbers with my stalkers. ’
❛ i dont know, maybe you thought i was pretty and couldn't think of a way to approach me… ❜ closes dusty academic books with a quiet sigh, conceding that no real studying would be getting done with him around. only then does she glance up at him through wispy lashes from her seat at round café table, finally giving him her full attention. ❛ do you think i'm pretty? ❜ was as if they were playing entirely different games — his centered on provoking her at every opportunity, while hers seemed more dedicated to leaving him flustered whenever she could manage. ❛ if i was a stalker would i be leaving right now? ❜ she rises from wooden chair, clutching stack of textbooks tightly against bosom. ❛ i have studying to do, so if you'll excuse me, stalker. ❜
yura notes his hands to be much larger, calloused from some sports equipment she cannot name — though she does not mind the rough texture against her porcelain - like skin. his grip completely engulfs her hand while she idly drags her thumbnail across flesh between his thumb and index finger and pulls away. ‘ a pleasure to finally have a name, cash. ’ cash — cassius — is the exact persona her management team would flag immediately. wrong industry, wrong everything, kind of association that creates the wrong headlines. funny, considering he is the only person she has shared a genuine conversation with all week.
‘ apology accepted. ’ this time words lack her habitual iciness, rare warmth softening curved cupid's bow. truth be told, yura owes him an explanation; notoriously frigid toward strangers, presenting a cold front to anyone outside her immediate circle. her eyes stray to his open bag, catching the familiar green packaging wrapped around her preferred pistachios nestled among scattered gear. clears her throat, redirecting attention toward the panel responsible for their delay. yura lifts one shoulder, a careless gesture. ‘ mmm… looks like i'm going to miss my event, so i may be able to pencil you in. ’ birthplace possessed far grander views than this town, leaving her homesick for sleepless city lights. yura offers a soft laugh hearing his praise, heat tinting her cheeks — odd sensation for someone so accustomed to constant adoration. she gives a small nod toward the massive billboard nearby. ‘ thank you. ’ tilts her head. ‘ occasionally, yes. ’ nothing could be further from the truth; she is an attention magnet, sought after features earning endless flattery. ‘ so, where were you going in such a hurry? ’
a quiet grin settles on lips and stubbornly remains there. businesslike cadence of her speech, paired with her polished demeanor she carried so effortlessly, strikes him as almost peculiar. could only imagine how many years she’d spent being trained into perfection, sculpted carefully into the ideal image expected of her. idea only deepening the relentless urge stirring within him to uncover who she truly was beneath all of it. ebonies follow the direction of hers, landing on the fresh bag of pistachios that seem to have captured her attention entirely. ❛ have some. ❜ rummages through duffel for a moment before tugging chartreuse bag free from beneath scattered equipment, extending it toward her without hesitation once he finds it. ❛ who know's how long we'll be stuck here — really cant afford having the world's princess collapsing under my watch. ❜
but the moment conversation shifts toward him, he can’t help the sharp inhale that follows. career had become a mess of its own, tangled in ways he’s certain exist far outside her world. pair moving through entirely different stratospheres, separated by lives that hardly seemed capable of overlapping at all. ❛ the office of my teams general manager is on the twelfth floor. ❜ begins slowly, attention dropping to his hands, fingers absentmindedly picking at forming callouses in a quiet attempt to steady and distract himself all at once. ❛ there's been talks about trading me to another team and i… i really dont see myself on any other team except the one i'm on right now — i mean, those guys are my family. so i'm gonna have a talk with him. ❜ hadn’t told anyone, not even own teammates, about the whispers surrounding his possible trade. yet here he was, every buried sentiment spilling from him like water through a broken dam, offered so easily to someone he’d only just met. ❛ have you ever been to a hockey game? ❜ tilts head then, smirk finding corner of mouth. ❛ i know it's definitely not your scene but… you should come tomorrow night. think i'd play a whole lot better if you were there. ❜
heavy lashed hues roll slow, no point in trying to talk sense into someone so determined. could lay out tour dates or band rules, the jam packed schedule she lives by, she doesn't have the lung capacity left to dismantle his persistence. forever isn't as easy as he makes it seem — so wrapped up in the fairytale of his own desires. something tugs inside that she hates herself for — unwanted warmth that only exists the second he's near, unraveling the boundaries she spends every waking hour reinforcing. it's so easy to lose her footing when he's around and she doesn't have the breath to fight both him and her clumsy heart.
tows him backward by his sleeve before he can spin another promise, chipped wood of her dressing room door giving way until the deadbolt clicks. sarah doesn't allow him even a second to breathe, crowding the small space by the door and the vanity until his shoulders hit the wood. palm flattens hard against his chest, feels his pulse jumping against her hand. skirt bunches right against his legs, adrenaline humming between their bodies as she forces herself flush against him. ‘ take your shirt off. ’
it was almost comical to him, way she insisted on denying anything long term in favor of their careers — only for every rational thought to abandon her the moment his large palms found her skin. does as told, like a trained dog who would follow her the end of the world, fingers toy with hem of cotton tee before tugging material up and over dark raven strands. hair falls messily across forehead as he’s left exposed, a disheveled look he wears so perfectly. he captures her lips in a heated kiss, mouth parting just enough for tongues to mingle between them. hands instinctively slip beneath the fabric of her theater skirt, gathering layers of tulle and polyester as palms settle against the backs of her thighs, lifting her effortlessly onto the vanity. kiss only deepening with movement, charged with a kind of tension only she ever seemed capable of drawing from him.
tears his lips from hers, swollen and damp from shared kiss, gaze hazy with a drunken hunger reserved solely for her. for a moment, he says nothing at all, simply taking her in through heavy breaths as though committing every detail to memory. palm rises to cradle fullness of cheek, ebonies flickering between hers while he quietly admires her almost otherworldly beauty possessed — like this might be the last chance he’ll ever have to do so, and perhaps it very well could be with next words that fall breathlessly from lips. ❛ i'm in love with you, sarah. ❜
‘ i don't know, i'm just saying this is like the third time i've seen you today. i won't be mad if you just admit it. ’
❛ really? ❜ mouth gapes open, faux astonishment on glossed lips. ❛ this is my first time seeing you today. ❜ was the furthest thing from truth, but would much rather lie than have him believing this asinine theory any longer. ❛ have you considered maybe you're the one following me around? if you like me you just can ask for my number. ❜
‘ stop being so dramatic. ’ leans forward onto her elbows, resting her face in her hand with a small smile. ‘ i missed you. is that what you wanted to hear? ’
❛ that's not exactly what i want to hear. ❜ though saccharine sentiment nonetheless pleasant to hear. mirrors her position, only lacking quiet grin reserved for her features alone. ❛ attention from the pageant committee not enough for you anymore you had to come back here and bother me? ❜
"princess," pet name hangs off his lips, wrapped in silk and charming smiles. he's even being a gentleman — as much of one as he could be — eyes not straying downward despite the outfit. and god, does he want to look. wants to take in every bit of how unreal she looks. but he only has ten minutes to spare, and he'd rather not spend most of them being chastised. "you're concerned about me — that's why i like you so much." they're off to the side, not congested as other groups and hosts file in and off of stage. it's quiet enough to talk, secluded enough to not be noticed. "i've got a few minutes to spare, and i saved them just for you. wouldn't want you going about your day not knowing how fuckin' gorgeous you look."
holds in laughter with utmost strength, every word falling from perfectly tinted lips was of pure comedy to her. ❛ how many times have you used that line before? ❜ digits press lightly against lips, manicured fingers attempting to hide grin steadily spreading across countenance. had no idea how his team handled dating — romantic involvement practically forbidden among them, if rumors were to be believed. though judging by the look in his eyes, it was painfully obvious that rule meant very little to him. ❛ you dont even know me, how could you possibly like me? ❜ shakes her head, amusement woven through every word at the sheer audacity he possessed. despite the hard time she gives him, she makes no real effort to flee little bubble they’ve carved out for themselves off to the side, lingering comfortably within it instead. ❛ i'm worried about you because you have a stage to get to… ❜ palm finds his bicep as she turns beside him, pair now facing the illuminated screen suspended above their heads. across it plays the construction of an elaborate stage, props and towering set pieces being assembled specifically for him beneath the harsh glow of stage lights. ❛ looks pretty. ❜
dizzying closeness when there are only stray inches left between the island and the counter where she’s perched. something new crosses her expression at his audacity, his prodding questions — pulse jumps hard, body betraying her until it's written plain across her features just how nervous he makes her. it's a different sort of unease, kind that forces her body to run hot while her stomach knots up. in the slim span of twenty minutes leon’s been able to chip away at the overly polished exterior, pristine idol image left out in the shared hallway.
a boyfriend, though... closest she's ever come to anything resembling it was first grade when a boy sharing his juice box was basically a marriage proposal. since then there was no room to figure out what she actually wanted. toki wasn't allowed the simple pleasures that most people took for granted, clumsy normalcy of an actual relationship absent from her world. ‘ i don't think so. i didn't give him my real number. ’ she smiles, which surprises her — she wants to dislike him so bad, it would make this a lot easier.
lifts her head in a molasses slow movement, lash flutters until she meets his dark brown eyes. she can hear her own breathing which means leon definitely can as well. ‘ no, i haven't. ’ toki wishes the words could return back to her the second they meet the air, flush deepening on the apples of her cheeks. embarrassment mixes with her nerves, toki slides down from her spot on his counter. ‘ do you ask every girl these kinds of questions? ’
had been bizarre to him, how someone so angelic could have never once been in possession of a love — had witnessed it before, way necks fracture just to get a glimpse of her passing through apartment corridors, his own included. had been in love once, something he ultimately had relinquished in favor for career. but now, had been well into perfecting craft — possessed a large clientele that spanned multiple music scenes, including very one she works in. maybe now songwriter would be more willing in opening limbs wide in acceptance of something good. ❛ no, just you. ❜ singular green grape pops into mouth, crisp crunch sounding in the bone chilling quiet settled between them, air thick with longing. ❛ do you want me to ask every girl these kind of questions? ❜ a soft, almost inaudible hum of words. every inquiry passing lips growing bolder, and bolder — yet she displays no unwillingness to his probing, instead is unmoving, his quiet green light to continue.
pads of feet strike wood flooring, line of sight falling from her high perch atop counter to standing height, just a mere few inches below him — she could be a runway model if she ever pleased. ebonies track her from head to toe, very plainly so, neither of them having anything to hide any longer. shoves frame off island he leans on, standing upright to move closer until theres little space left between pair, her perfume permeating nares sweet as spun sugar. ❛ have you been kissed before? ❜ uncertain if it was his boldest inquiry of the night — but it sure did feel like it.
❛ why are you here? what do you want from me? you left a note — a note. ❜
❛ could you be more full of yourself? i have better things to do than follow your sorry ass around. ❜
❝ i looked everywhere for you. ❞ in an ideal world, her face would remain a blank slate. her brows wouldn't wind together, her passive smile wouldn't budge. unfortunately this is the real world, and her expression seems to morph itself into something like a rejected puppy. ❝ why weren't you there? ❞
@springrides requested 𝑘𝑎𝑡 𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑜 ҉
❛ practice ran late. ❜ despite it's verity, still made no difference — had promised to be there, and in doing so, ultimately let brunette down with her own overwhelmed schedule. ❛ i'm sorry, you know i wanted to be there but i cant just… i cant just up and leave practice, kat. ❜ had always come between them, both of their careers interfering with what she would call true love — uncertain if other even possessed those same sentiments anymore. ❛ you look beautiful. ❜ falls from lips quietly, as if there were no room for compliments with current predicament they find themselves in.
‘ you're probably right. ’ mention of julian is dropped almost the instant it's uttered, subject shelved without another thought. she meant every word when she assured rhys that their mutual friend held no sway over her preferences — julian consistently the loudest voice in any given room, too eager to drink shots straight from some girls belly button. no thanks. still, the recollection tugs the tiniest trace of amused curve to her mouth, remembering ridiculous afternoons spent forcing rhys to recreate vampire melodramas, broad shoulders strong beneath her weight as he lugged her around the middle of the quad. ‘ this is the skin of a killer, bella. ’ remained tucked among the thousand quiet reasons naeun loves him, complete absence of vanity that kept him from growing too proud to butcher terrible movie lines in public if it meant keeping her amused.
amusement drains from naeun, eyes glued to him with a worry as she studies the current stiffness in his posture. rare to see him look so stoic, usually breathes life in to whatever room he enters. ‘ i… honestly don't know. ’ then the thought catches, not the first time it's crossed her mind but the first time in a while — just how large rhys' hands are. ‘ rhys. ’ slips from her, carrying a softened cadence she reserves for only him. plump lip is drawn slowly between teeth, breathing dropping into something uneven that has nothing to do with the words they're exchanging. ‘ you can tell me. ’
he had never been a man of solemnness. no, out of his team, was as light as air — often times reprimanded by coach for his childlike whimsy. existed nothing serious in marrow, attribute stemming from park family tree, rhys park being the youngest of three exceptionally adept savants. each possessing their own careers in various fields — remi practicing day and night on frigid ice for another gold medal, leon composing poetry into symphonies that are bound to win him a grammy, leaving the youngest to make some sort of history with hockey team, something that was his and his alone.
now there bloomed something new inside frame, something that kept countenance as stoic as could be. had never once been as serious with her as he currently was — certainly not only daunting to own self, but to her just as much. ❛ what if instead of telling you, ❜ ebonies finally meeting hers, holding there as he quietly weighs his next move. this would ultimately alter friendship entirely, but with his ever so buoyant thinking, maybe it didnt have to be such a world ending outcome. ❛ i just show you instead. ❜ posture rises from headboard to enter personal space, large palm finding her full cheek as lips capture own peony petals in the warmth of a kiss. hand at her hips moving, slipping underneath cotton material of her shirt to press digits into waist, olive skin blanching under his hungry squeeze.
“ looks like it hurts. ” she murmurs in quiet observation, hands lifting to gently caress her face, thumb brushing over the bruise ever so lightly. even like this — hair tousled, uniform crumpled, and face marred — ramona's still the prettiest girl she's set her eyes on. how lucky dawson feels to be able to hold her in this way, to be so close to her. beneath the pad of her thumb, she could feel the faint swell of delicate flesh and it tugs at heart, yet seeing how proud the other is of the bruise … she can't help but feel endeared. so eyebrows raise in slight amusement, a small laugh exhaling through her nose as head shakes. “ … cute, i think i might've heard that too. ” is all she hums before leaning in, gingerly planting a kiss upon tender, discolored cheekbone. unthinking, she presses another to the side of her jaw, nose briefly nuzzling into the crook of her neck to catch the familiar scent of her sweat intermingling with the fading afternoon heat. slowly pulls away from her personal space with a faint smile, hands falling to smooth over the jersey adorning petite frame, dusting off remnants of turf infill. “ i just hope she looks worse than you do. ” a gentle tease as her fingers find themselves intertwining with ramona's.
leans into her touch like a forlorn cat at last finding warmth, one that had spent far too long wandering nighttime streets in search of a place to belong. breath catches in depth of esophagus at delicate touch brushing over sensitive skin, her gaze never straying from brunette before her. remains caught in that same quiet trance — one only dawson had ever possessed the power to pull her into. though any semblance of steady breathing comes to a halt when chaste kiss is pressed against bruise, lips that trail slowly toward jawline, a breathless sound slipping from between petals before she can stop it, eyes fluttering shut beneath the tenderness of her touch. ❛ i'm not cute. ❜ glares at her with a drawn whine when distance returns between them, reluctant to let her pull away so soon. instead lifting their intertwined hands toward her mouth, pressing soft kisses against knuckles as though determined to keep some form of contact between them. ❛ she left me with one black eye, and i left her with two. ❜ proud beam tugs at lips, partially hidden behind other’s hand still cradled between her own. whatever the outcome field scuffle had, one thing was certain — she wouldn’t be going home tonight. elders likely already waiting at dwelling front door, prepared to scold her endlessly for such unbecoming behavior. ❛ think i can spend the night with you? i cant go home right now… and you kind of have to kiss me back to health tonight, like, it's an obligation at this point. ❜
closed starter for @springrides.
“ tell me you're sure — tell me you need me. ”
❛ has it not been obvious all of these years, sutton? ❜ an almost irritated edge to tone, as though her unwavering devotion had been painfully obvious from the beginning — from first childhood meeting neither of them had forgotten. ❛ i need you. ❜ is firm, frame pressing inward as she moves closer, space between them dwindling little by little beneath weight of unspoken tension. ❛ not ryan, he's never been any good for me, and certainly not anyone else. it's always been you for me. ❜
ami is near drunk on sawako's beauty, glassy eyes hold still on the soft rose hue of her pout just inches away. pure torture, cruel sort of punishment that she just can't stop picturing the way they would feel against her own. the sweetness of sawako's compliment makes her stomach bottom out, desperate whine slips past the part of her lips, turned into an embarrassing hiccup that makes her teeth click together.
insides do cartwheels, swarm of butterflies collecting deep in her lower abdomen until the breath gets lost in her throat. ami swallows hard, motion obvious as she admires every little detail of the angel close to her. words trip over one another when she finally forces mouth to move. ‘ i've never kissed anyone before. ’ a vulnerable confession, only truth that she ever bothered to withhold from her best friend. plenty of moments had offered the chance to press her lips against someone else's but this was the first time ami really wanted to. she's so close to sawako at this point that the smell of her own vanilla lotion mixes with the smell of other's perfume. ‘ will you kiss me? ’
it was almost frightening how alike they truly were, she too had never kissed anyone — not with career carried on her shoulders since juvenescence. life had been built from endless nights bleeding into early mornings, years spent training since youth with little room left for anything soft or romantic. had long convinced herself there would never be time for it, at least that’s what she believed until now. ❛ i've never kissed anyone either. ❜ admits softly, knees inching closer until they brush against her own. small grin finds lips before lower brim is caught between pearly whites, an obvious attempt to suppress excitement bubbling beneath the surface. still, way beam brightens entire countenance gives her away completely. ❛ i'll be your first kiss. ❜ words come out in a quiet whisper, accompanied by a soft nod at her inquiry.
to say she’s thought about kissing her best friend before would’ve been an understatement — the thought had entirely consumed her. especially during sleepovers when other would drift off first, leaving sawako awake beside her, watching her sleep so peacefully under dim light. it was in those moments her mind would wander, wondering what exactly her best friend’s lips might taste like against her own. palm rises to cup her jaw as she leans closer, noses brushing in soft nuzzles while breaths mingle within little space left between them. their lips meet then, gentle and lingering, lashes fluttering shut as warmth rushes through entire frame. kiss is saccharine, delicate at first, melting softly against her mouth before lips part just enough to deepen it, tongues meeting as a soft moan escapes her, savoring the closeness they’d both imagined for far too long.
‘ don't flatter yourself. ’ yura stares at him with lashes drawn low, careless posture makes him unbearable even though she can't find any obvious physical flaw to pick apart. ‘ i'm just trying to teach you some etiquette seeing as your mother did not. ’ intentionally ignores the fact that her own tone and attitude is just as ( more ) arrogant, polished posture apart of her genetic make up after years in front of cameras. sudden jerk of the cabin makes her instinctively glance his way as if the abrupt stop was personally his fault. ‘ unbelievable. ’ complaint slips past teeth while fingertips pound the switches over and over, refusing her fate. wrist flicks upward to check the diamond encrusted dial of her cartier watch, which likely costs more than the shoddy lift trapping them.
there are precisely two hours left until the opening walk — time yura should be spending in a styling chair the moment she hits the top floor, letting three people obsess over every single strand of hair and how it's placed. his indifference only feeds her impatience, he's already making himself at home in the cramped square of space they share. phone comes out of her pocket, fingers tapping quickly across the screen only to be met with a stack of red exclamation points signaling not delivered.
‘ a swat team would probably have better manners. ’ nv's latest comeback is currently stretched across the giant spotify screen in the center of times square, yet he's here asking if she's famous — like a man who lives beneath a boulder. returns to hitting the dead numbers until the base of her palm collides with the panel, sudden slam forcing out a gasp she can't cover. fabric in the corner looks clean enough, tempting alternative to being on her feet, but she refuses. holds out until the leather of her brand new heels dig deep into the skin just below her ankle, flesh rubbed raw and pink ‘ okay. fine. ’ yura gives in to the pain, sinks onto the towel with knees pulled tight and shoulders arched stiffly away from the walls. ‘ thank you. i'm yura. ’ right hand extends to him, posture straight as she clutches the purse to her lap.
eyes dart open moment thunderous bang echoes throughout vacant lift, finding her persistence almost endearing. she was determined to free herself, displaying a sudden strength he never would’ve imagined she possessed otherwise. but when another snide comment slips from glossy lips, he couldnt stop small grin from tugging at mouth. clearly, she had no intention of giving up on apology she so desperately desired from him. ❛ cassius. ❜ starts, taking well manicured hand into his own. for a brief moment, something unfamiliar stirs low in abdomen — an urge not to let go, unwilling to part with both softness and warmth her palm alone provided. ❛ but my friends call me cash. ❜ so that was what they were now? friends? grip around hand remains firm for a moment longer before he finally lets go, though gaze never once strays from her countenance, as if searching for something more in small space between them.
❛ and i'm sorry for earlier, ❜ he huffs softly, eyes darting anywhere instead of meeting hers, as though avoiding pompous expression most likely painted across pretty countenance at this point. ❛ i'm sorry i knocked into you, and for crowding the elevator with all my shit. ❜ chin tips toward duffel bag sitting open between them, its contents spilling into view — scattered hockey equipment, a tall fresh bottle of water, and an assortment of practice snacks ranging from nuts to dry fruits meant to keep energy up through long hours on the ice. ❛ still dont want me to come and find you later? ❜ meets her gaze then, a smirk tugging at corner of his mouth, teasing her just slightly. part of him did want to find her afterward — wanted to see more of her, of this runway event, of livelihood she seemed to move through so effortlessly. being trapped in small elevator wasn’t entirely terrible, especially with floor length window overlooking glittering cityscape beyond. it’s only when his gaze drifts past raven strands that he notices it — same cherubic countenance staring back at him from large billboard in the heart of bustling city, accompanied by five other almost ethereal figures. sight is jarring for a moment, strange in a way he can’t quite explain, yet in the end it changes absolutely nothing… to him, she was still just her. ❛ you're prettier in person. ❜ index lifts lazily, pointing past window toward glowing ad towering above the city below. ❛ you probably get that a lot though. ❜