Staring Outside @staringoutside-blog - Tumblr Blog

Posts

princesinha-do-sexo

violentsex-blog

hushdeco-deactivated20130127

forthosewhocravefashion

touchdisky-deactivated20200106

by Raji Photography

The things I want in life

Aren't the things they said I should want. " Why everything that's supposed to bad make me feel so good Everything they told me not to is exactly what I would " (~Kanye - Addiction) I am uncomfortable with who I am, but I am working hard and improving my life. All I really want and ever wanted was to be fit and have sex a lot with different women. Hot women. I just want to be wanted to be honest. I wanna feel sexy. I want girls to look at me. I never feel that. I feel like I can't ever tell this to a girl because besides them calling me a pig, I just don't want to make myself into a lowlife like that's all I care about. Besides, usually the ones who say that I love a lot of things about life, but my sex life is lame. It sucks. I want much more for myself, and I feel like I need to make up for lost time. Fuck it, "YOLO!" I'm jumping on the damn yolo train, lol. But yeah I want to get a lean, sweaty six pack and I want to have sex with fine, beautiful women who appreciate me. And that's some honesty fo' that ass. And that's the biggest secret in my life. I could tell my girlfriend and the weight would be lifted, but she would leave forever. I'm sure later in life it won't be so important, but these hormones...I'm hardwired to think about sex every time I see some tight pants or jiggling curves. A woman will never understand that because they are wired to keep man to have babies and keep him to help raise and feed them. Evolutionarily speaking. We are hunters; and I know on a different path, I would have been an expert hunter.

But I am uncomfortable with myself after the years of being buried under my insecurities, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. Years of bad habits, attitudes, and paradigms. I cant get any action if i tried. I am not confident. I am not in shape and I'm not great at conversation. But there's a lot of awesome things about me! A lot of the same girls who call men like me a pig for having these desires are the same ones who are too shallow to see the qualities a guy like me has. And I know I have a girlfriend. But our shit is alright. I love her to death, I am a great boyfriend to her, and she is a good girlfriend to me, and I want love like that, but that's not all I want from life.

#staringoutside #wanting

flavourtownusa

Everytime I see a black Chevy Avalanche

I look to see that big, huge slash across the windshield, to see if it's you. I miss your beautiful face.

casaanova-blog

Kino Escalation

How is it that good sex

cures everything that was a problem before? What were we fighting about again?

#staringoutside #good sex #sex

addictiv-ee-deactivated20131110

Am I falling out of Love pt. 3

{pt. 2.....}

Sex

I can’t figure out for the life of me what you want from me, to the point where lately our sex has been awkward and confusing. You want me to be more aggressive and just go for it and dow what I want to you, be in control, but what happens? Honestly think about it. ?. You get mad because I want to try new positions, but you’re too fat, you’re not flexible, you’re not strong enough to squat, you can’t because it makes you tired. ok, fine then let’s stop. Ive tried everything I can think of. what do you want to do? “duhhhh… I don’t knowhh.” Break out the waterworks. “imm so sad because Im so fat and I cant do anything that you want me to do.” if I don’t do what I want to do then im not being aggressive enough though. And apparently I don’t kiss you as much as you’d like, you have recently, suddenly, revealed. You would rather me kiss you all over and all that, even though it all started with you playing with my dick by the fire while we were cuddled up, and now you would like to “cuddle in the bed” instead. but I “go to the pussy too fast!” What do you want from me! I always try to go down on you, I like to eat it. But you never want it. You want to go down on me, and I love it so I uusually say yes unless I feel like Im being selfish since you said no. I just don’t know what to do. Sex is a chore. You are being so unattractive and your demands are so unclear to me. I need you to be clear with me. And watch seriously watch your approach. Last time you said “how come don’t ever never ___?!” …umm- FIRST of all, what does ___mean. SECOND – how come you never SAID ANYTHING. I didn’t know what the fuck that even meant, much less that that’s what you wanted. GROGJERFJEFSJOAKGAODRJFAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHERGETHETYHETG

woe is me!

Lol I was so convinced that I was putting it on ya. But now I don’t have a clue. Im suffering over here babe. Help me. This is making things a drag. There is always a fight about everything, and I am constantly looking over the fence. What to do… sleep on it.

.....

Am I falling out of Love? pt. 2

{pt. 1.....}

I can’t believe how sexy these girls I saw were. I went to the club with my Dad! MY DAD! And it was his damn idea! I can’t believe how hot these damn chicks were that I saw when I was out with him last night. Were they from out of town? They had STYLE. There is no way they were from around here! And some of them were very spicy Asian girls. I only see the ugly nerdy ones around here with no skin color and a blobby, ghoulish figure. I didn’t know they had the hot ones around here. But fuck that- besides that hot skinny or shapely figured girls everywhere, and they were looking at us…lik…in a way that I am not sure how to describe, that Im not used to… Loike kind of curious? I mean my dad is older than me, I mean – he’s my Dad! But he’s very attractive. He is always dressed well, kempt and well-groomed, great happy, smiling face. You know a guy that the ladies like when you see one. Especially when you see them check him out or tell you he is hot wherever you go. I really want to be just like him. He’s the coolest person I know. But yeah, it was nice to be briefly examined by these high grade chicks who are obviously out here having fiun like I’ve… actually…never seen before. safe and everything. and I was actually comfortable for once with who I with. Not my fat girlfriend ("oh my god, i feel so fat! im huge!" EVERY fucking where we go, every picture she takes.) or my other self conscious, nerdy, and otherwise neutered guy friends. I was with my dad, and I bet I could get a girl if I wanted to with him a lot easier than with anyone I’ve ever hung out with. He’s not a pussy like my “friends.” I can’t count on them for shit. And I’ve lost a little weight and have been working out recently, so I have a little tiny bit of added confidence lately, and from learning more to be myself with people in public. Seeing all these hot girls, seeing that I can be looked at by them, and not in disgust! Hearing my dad’s stories that he took me out to tell me about, which were about how much shit he got done since I last talked to him in person on Monday, and how much of a success it has been. This had me really thinking –

. what . the . fuck . am . I . doing .

My girlfriend, my relationship – we are so moody. The shit is terrible. Every day, there is a new problem. I am really trying to make this shit work. I know that you are a good person, that we have been through so much that NO ONE could ever UNDERSTAND, but am I holding on just to hold on? Is it worth it? What do we have in common? What do we talk about? I’d hate to spend all this time to say that we just aren’t compatible, but are we? Honestly, we do have some stuff in common that I don’t think about when I’m mad, but really though, I feel like I cant really be myself and do what I like to do a lot of the time. {.....pt 3}

Am I Falling out of Love? pt 1.

I feel like maybe instead of me conceding to everything that she says is wrong with me and what I do, maybe she is just being selfish.

Sort of recalling the feelings I was having in the earlier, angrier post, i still feel like she does not do shit. I was fine on my own. I didn't have everything, but I was making it and I did what I can. But for me to invite you into my home when you put yourself in the position when there is really no choice for either of us, you need to be doing a much better job of putting in. I am not in my ideal career. I can support myself. I can not support you and myself. If you wanna use all my shit, REPLACE my shit. If you eat my shit, REPLACE MY SHIT. you use all the toilet paper? BUY SOME FUCKING TOILET PAPER…

I DON’T HAVE TIME TO SPEND ALL OF MY MONEY one stuff for US and then you use all the shit!

And I am not your damn baby sitter. Stop whining all the time. I feel bad. Im hungry. Im thirsty. I feel fat. All I eat is garbage, but for some odd unknown reason, I feel fat. I have cramps. Wahhh. My stomach hurts even though all I ate today was chocolate, sugar, and grease. Wahh. I know sometimes shit happens. Bad day. Time of the month. I am a very reasonable, understanding person. But every day? Same shit? No. Just… No. If you wanna pout and go to bed without me because I am a music lover and I want to listen to music. KNOCK YOUR SELF OUT. I don’t care. I just find it funny that you expect me to just sit there with the dick look. Lets fuckin cuddle. Let’s sit here and watch tv for hours and not talk about nuthin. BITCH. My song is on.

ok, WHY am I complaining? What does this have to do with it?

All of the shit that you do is gradually less and less attractive, and becoming unattractive. Some of the things you have done lately have almost given me an inverted dick, mainly your drunken antics. The way you talk about sex, you need to seriously rethink your approach. It is more complaining and nagging than it is helpful to our sex life. And “that wasn’t so bad”? REALLY? It wasn’t so bad? I know you meant trying that new thing, but the way you said it right after the “dismount”… really bitch? The sex “wasn’t so bad, was it?” fuck me? FUCK YOU! {.....pt. 2}

Things Even Worse

Friend! I was told what happened to you with the police and everything! I am so sorry that everything has been going crazy. I don't even know what to say to you. I'm sorry that I haven't talk to you lately. it is difficult for me, because I still like you , but I know that I can not have you. do you understand? well, I wish you all the best. You deserve to be treated only the best, and your boyfriend does not understand it. but do not worry. I know inside that everything will be fine for you. just keep being the wonderful person that you are, ¤China. Love, ¤S.O xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Amigo! Me dijeron que lo que le pasó con la policía y todo! Lo siento que todo ha sido volverse loco. Yo ni siquiera sé qué decirte. Lo siento que no he hablar con usted últimamente. es difícil para mí, porque todavía le gusta, pero sé que no puedo tener. ¿me entiendes? así, le deseo todo lo mejor. Usted merece ser tratada sólo lo mejor, y tu novio no lo entiende. pero no te preocupes. Sé que en el interior de que todo estará bien para usted. sólo sigue siendo la maravillosa persona que eres, ¤ China Amor, ¤ S.O Perdonen mi español terrible!

Gone.

I cant believe she's leaving. How do I feel about that? Fuck. An emptiness. Moving to fucking Texas. And I don't know any of the story. I just noticed when texting her that the last time I sent her a text message... Three months man. It's been three entire fucking months. I suck. But I haven't because this entire time I have known that... She has stopped liking me that way, and has hidden away those feelings for me. And at this point I know that they are sealed safely away... And too deep to ever be found again.

a mi querido amigo en problemas...

mi dulce amiga

Yo sé que usted está teniendo problemas en el hogar. Mi amigo, que sabe que me preocupo por ti, me dijo. Tu secreto está a salvo conmigo, pero me duele porque eres una persona maravillosa. Dios los ama y protege a las personas como tú. Di tus oraciones y seguir haciendo el bien, y Dios y Dios le ayudará a usted ya su hijo. Usted es una madre que es amante cariñoso e inteligente. Pase lo que pase, lo sé, que va a sobrevivir. Si necesita mi ayuda, llámame. ¤ S.O

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Staring Outside