PART 2 : Chapter 2 : Asari
Overwhelming statistical likelihood that average human viewer will first experience attraction to non-humans for asari — also probable first sexual experiences with non-humans will be with asari. Necessary to start with asari and with dispelling of a few myths and urban legends.
[With some effort, Dr. S. lifts a hand-crafted wheel of fortune and places it on the table. Each section of the wheel of fortune sports a piece of paper describing a common myth about asari and asari sexuality in neat handwriting. The writing is in English. Upon closer examination, it appears that the papers are contained in transparent slots, so that they can be easily inserted and removed.]
[Dr. S. insisted that this scene be shot again for each language version : the small bits of paper describe the same myths about asari in the language used in the video, always written by the same hand.]
Let's spin the wheel ! Oh my — "ALL ASARI WANT TO FUCK ME". Listen, hypothetical straw-human : while many asari have more sexual activity with more sexual partners than standard in many human cultures and subcultures, asari do not engage in sex indiscriminately — though common stereotype. Asari are individuals — different tastes, desires, energy levels, libido levels, sexualities, etc. Even if asari was to have sex with many non-humans, might not be attracted to humans ! And even if attracted to humans, might not be attracted to you !
"ASARI ARE ALL SO ATTRACTIVE TO EVERY SPECIES BECAUSE OF MIND CONTROL" — no. First, not everyone attracted to asari. Krogan fairly evenly divided on the matter. Salarian/asari liaisons entirely dependent on the emotional relationship and the intimacy of melding, but whatever physical appreciation is felt is aesthetic, not sexual. Second, impossible for asari to have naturally developed universal pheromone-based attraction mechanism working on species who evolved in entirely separate biospheres — phenomenon of cross-species attraction to asari dependent on culturally mandatory concern of xenophilia for asari as well as long-standing, unchallenged cultural hegemony. No spooky "domination" effect at a distance — just non-asari prejudice against asari.
"MY CHILDREN WITH AN ASARI WOULD BE ASARI-HUMAN HYBRIDS" — while would-be asari mothers use genome of sexual partner as template or inspiration to modify asari zygote, no genetic material from non-asari father present in daughters — no gene transfer. Hypothetical offspring with asari will be asari, 100% of the time. Still your offspring, if you raise her and care for her and give her the love and skills she needs to thrive.
"ASARI SAP OUR LIFE FORCE DURING SEX, STEAL OUR WOMEN AND TAKE OUR MEN'S MOST VIABLE GAMETES FOR THEMSELVES, FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THEIR SPECIES AND THE GENETIC IMPOVERISHMENT OF OUR OWN" — won't lie — discovery of prejudice was… challenging. Appears to be human stereotypes projected on asari. 1 : asari discrete individuals with personal and distinct experiences, opinions, believes and motives — no "hive mind" — no singular, universal, species-wide motive. Ascribing one where none exists or could exist… problematic. 2 : asari biologically incapable of incorporating non-asari material. Exhaustion following sexual activity usually indicative of energetic and usually enjoyable sexual activity ! Or of poor endurance. If in doubt, best consult physician. 3 : no such thing as "life force". 4 : women people, not property — can't be stolen. If stolen, then enslaved — if enslaved, then "theft" actually liberation and you must report yourself to nearest law enforcement office and reexamine past decisions and personal values. 5 : again, asari incapable of incorporating foreign biological material — including gametes. If viable gametes rare occurrence, consult physician for fertility issues. 6 : betterment of asari species through culturally mandated xenophilia spiritual and cultural — not physical. No incorporation of non-human biological material. Non-asari fathers foster asari appreciation and understanding of non-asari cultures and societies. Asari not interested in supremacy — too focused on equalizing power dynamics — trying to achieve future where different peoples spontaneously wish to live together in harmony. 7 : no such thing as "genetic impoverishment". Human species will not "degenerate" — will not start producing more disabled individuals.
"ASARI ARE WOMEN" — common mistake. Many morphological traits ascribed to human women - breasts, wide hips - present in asari — but more to it than anthropocentrism. During First First Contact in 520 BCE, salarian biases led to female gender assigned to asari leaders - femininity coextensive with political power in all salarian cultures - and asari did not contest gender ascription, partly because could be taken seriously as "women", partly because "gender" completely alien construct for them — asari are asari. Existence of "women" would suggest existence of "men", past or present — not the case. Asari not "unisexual" either, as that would imply existence of at least two discrete forms of reproductive systems.
"ASARI ARE PEOPLE WITH INDIVIDUAL NEEDS, WANTS AND EXPECTATIONS DEPENDENT ON UNIQUE COMBINATION OF BIOLOGICAL, CULTURAL, SOCIOLOGICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTORS" — why, hypothetical straw-human ! Very good ! Not prejudice if true !
Now, onto the anatomical charts !
[Dr. S. pushes the wheel off-camera. An added sound effect suggests that it crashes off the table, makes antique trash cans clatter on the ground and distresses at least three stray cats.]
ANATOMY AND REPRODUCTIVE PHYSIOLOGY
Asari superficially similar to humans in terms of morphology : primary reproductive characteristics determined by parthenogenetic mode of reproduction, include two breasts for lactation, birth canal, large hips to give live birth.
Primary asari erogenous zone area near buttocks, around vulva and usually extending to inner thighs. Always has bright, vivid colour contrasting with colour of individual's skin — different names, most well-known Illium slang "azure", though improper — usually closer to cyan. Only hues of blue, including on asari with purple scales.
Ultraviolet patterns, invisible to human eyes, radiate from vulva on "azure" — striking example of convergent evolution with petals of species of flowering Earth flora, guiding animals to nectar they wish to lap. Similar purpose too. Azure's contrasting appearance with asari complexion analogous to thick pubic hair on otherwise sparsely hairy human body — draws sexual partner's gaze.
So-called "azure" complexion - actually cyan, with symmetrical ultraviolet patterns - possible in asari, but considered an unusual skin tone. "Titillating". Famous 17th-century asari soprano Sharblu also famous for azure hue of skin. One Argos Rho planet's atmospheric composition chromatically reminiscent of renowned, sexually charged skin tone — named after Sharblu by asari surveyors.
Birth canal not as sensitive as gonochoric vaginas, but nonetheless has disproportionate amount of nerve endings necessary for process of childbirth — asari therefore able to derive direct pleasure from stimulation and penetration of birth canal, which they historically have through manual and oral means. Long melding ganglia also running along entire length of birth canal and womb. Allow mother to meld with gestating fetus, and make it easier to maintain melding connection with sexual partner, as hands "fingering" vulva or vulva "grinding" different vulva likeliest forms of sexual stimulation.
No clitoris, but labia and small cartilage ridges in outer perimeter of vulva, highly sensitive —best to be delicate. Nipples also particularly sensitive to various forms of stimulation — touch, heat, moisture, etc. Breasts can be fondled, enjoyable for many individuals. More firm than human analogues, however — internal structure more supportive of mass and shape. No back damage as in some humans.
Other erogenous zones include : scalp crests, neck folds. Highly sensitive to touch — must be handled delicately. Experiments recommended with caution, but usually rewarding.
Also hands. Asari hands far more densely packed with nerve ends than human hands — have own ganglia to process information during melding — hands considered sexual organs in their own right. Recur as symbols of intimacy, love and power in asari cultures throughout the ages. Most asari at least partly cover their hands in public as a result.
Evolution of erogenous zones in asari somewhat puzzling at first glance, as no need to induce internal reproduction as in most non-asari, gonochoric species : asari reproduce through melding process unique to many Thessian species — dermal connection of discrete nervous systems of asari and sexual and/or romantic partner into one unified nervous system, sharing inputs and outputs. During melding, half of genetic material of spontaneously produced unicellular zygote - genetically identical to asari mother - modified in response to "attuned" partner through melding. No erotic excitement and sexual stimulation actually necessary for conception, but often believed that convergent evolution of erogenous anatomy inducement to lead asari and partner to seek out, through sexual stimulation, emotional intimacy and ultimate source of pleasure, i.e. sexual gratification while melding : asari undergoing erotic melding actually able to sense both partner's and their own excitement, emotions and pleasurable stimulation of erogenous zones.
Development of melding ability clear marker of climacteric transitions to all three stages of asari adulthood, Maiden, Matron, and Matriarch. Maidens gain ability to meld with biological adulthood — but unable to have children of their own. Matrons gain ability to bear children, alongside desire to settle down and raise them. Matriarchs usually lose ability to have children, though pregnancies not unheard of, especially at beginning of Matriarch stage.
Actual biological mechanism of melding poorly understood, in part because of great asari reluctance to scientifically investigate it. Cursory evidence suggests that no gene transfer actually occurs during melding, as asari famously able to reproduce with non-asari melding partner : gene transfer between species from separate biospheres utterly and completely impossible — asari genome not based on any of four nucleotide bases constituent of human DNA, for instance. However, some genetic exchange between asari must happen even though asari now almost universally reproduce with non-asari, as otherwise parthenogenesis would entail asari would have started speciating long ago : asexual modes of reproduction, like parthenogenesis, increase odds of genetic drift and sympatric speciation thanks to de facto total reproductive isolation. Indeed, asari unable to reproduce without a melding partner.
Different explanations for lack of asari interest in scientific understanding of melding possible : for example, asari ability to reproduce with all known organic sapient lifeforms cornerstone of hegemonic siari religious and philosophical system — possible that, despite faith, asari subconsciously aware that scientific experimentation might reveal uncomfortable truth.
Other possibility : some biological determinism. Asari who give birth to infants known as "mothers" — partners "fathers", regardless of gender. You can only be father - or step-father - as a result. According to asari, offspring acquire best qualities of fathers from melded genes, fatherhood tangible. However, in light of evidence for lack of gene transfer, fathers would only be source of relative inspiration at best. From strictly evolutionary perspective, advantageous for odds of offspring survival if additional adult engaged in childrearing — necessary that melding partner considered father.
However, hypothesis contradicted by archaeological and historical evidence : prototypical prehistoric asari societies seemingly nomadic bands of Maiden huntresses interacting with sedentary settlements populated by Matrons, Matriarchs and children. Maidens and Matrons would meld and reproduce, but Maidens would move on before end of pregnancy, and children would be communally raised by Matron couples and rest of settlement. As Maiden father was not involved in childrearing, no motive to involve them legitimately or otherwise. Fatherhood understood as both source of reproductive inspiration and caretaker of children a recent development, historically speaking. Therefore, likely best explanation for belief in father's material contribution to conception also the simplest : wishful thinking — partners both wish that child living physical synthesis of her parents.
Asari otherwise like humans : placental (belly buttons), viviparous (live birth), baby normally delivered after 11 Earth months, or full Thessia year. During gestation and nursing, highly important that mothers obtain and eat aliments and beverages from Thessia, laced with microscopic element zero — children unable to develop properly otherwise.
TRADITIONAL EXPECTATIONS OVER SEXUAL INTIMACY AND RELATIONSHIPS
Despite outward similarity to humans, asari profoundly different — expectations over sex, love and relationships profoundly different as well, complex, at times mystifying even to them.
Most important thing about asari sexual preferences : obligate xenophilia. Intimate, erotic melding between asari cultural taboo, alongside lasting romantic relationships. Asari expected to seek out intimacy and close romantic relationships with non-asari, fostering understanding of radically different experiences.
Asari more comfortable with their sexuality than most humans and many other species — often a cause of prejudice. Two reasons : first, sex, while intimate, not most intimate thing asari can experience — melding is — joining of nervous systems and unity of experience, and also sexual stimuli. Sex pales in comparison — and cannot produce children.
Less cultural "gravity" for sex as a result — no asari concepts of either "recreational sex" (all asari sex recreational by definition) or "chastity" —taboo on erotic melding between asari does not apply to sexual activity, except for relatives. Sex can be done on a whim with whoever just for the sake of it — yet expectations that you will only meld with someone if it's romantic, and that all participants must be aware of identity of regular melding partners.
Second, Maidens - adult asari typically between 40 and 300 years old - actually promiscuous by asari standards — "horny". Adventurous, eager to travel and make new experiences — typically hired for various forms of sex work, mercenary work, spacer jobs — likeliest to be encountered by non-asari like you — likeliest to seek out sexual intimacy with you.
[As Dr. S. makes his presentation, a miniature cartoon asari, seemingly walking on the table, transitions into her Maiden stage : she grows small breasts and a lot of dense wiry muscle. She takes off her jacket and starts whirling it about her head as she dances to some half-muted upbeat tune. She eventually runs offscreen.]
All asari on average, but especially Maidens, therefore likely to offer casual sex with strangers, to have sex with friends, and to use sex as a form of conflict resolution or to diffuse tensions — sex therefore essential in many social interactions, like Earth's Pan paniscus. But great variation depending on culture and individual asari : some asari asexual, antisocial, adverse to physical contact or proximity, self-conscious, or have low self-esteem — inevitably handicaps them during Maiden stage in inter-Maiden interactions — can hinder them when they're older. Nevertheless, asari society largely aware of problem, and most "horny" asari sensitive enough to adapt.
Type of sex and relationship expectations also varies on basis of life stage — whether asari Maiden, Matron or Matriarch.
Typical sex Maidens seek out either casual sex with strangers or sexual intercourse with close friends — "friends with benefits" — furthers intimacy, but no expectations of exclusivity. Will seek out sex only for as long as all parties want to.
[The following two paragraphs are a transcription of a voice-over, as a montage takes up the screen : asari erotic dancers on a break laughing and smoking cigarettes ; a crowd of chanting asari holding placards reading "MY JOB MY RULES" ; a tasteful portrait of the Consort Sha'ira ; a cartoon asari in a purple latex suit with erotic cutouts blasting the head off a hulking monster with a blue flare of biotic power.]
Possible also for Maidens to engage in sex work — either as clients or workers. Sex work among asari completely unstigmatized, though usually (but not exclusively) considered a Maiden activity, like war — yet much like asari can spend entire lives in the military, so can they spend their entire lives doing sex work. Whether asari dance, strip or rent sexual services, either regularly or infrequently to pay the bills, will depend on individual asari, what they are comfortable with, and how much money they need. However, melding for money deeply taboo, with notable cultural exception of Consorts.
Unlike human sex work, asari sex work extremely safe, thanks to self-organization into federated unions, strong labor laws, and biotic ability to blast off head of any would-be offender.
Young Maidens unlikely to want to be tied up and engage in long, committed relationships — asari lifespan however entails definition of "long, committed relationships" different from most non-asari — decades together only significant if individual asari emotionally invested. Maidens can and will have multiple romantic relationships (including melding) long before they settle in actual permanent relationship with others, especially in latter half of Maiden period — frequent melding will actually accelerate transition to Matron stage.
Ceremonial asari commitment to loving relationship with another known as bond — partners known as bondmates. Asari propose then plan and go through bond ceremony, marked by special bond ceremony dress and bond ceremony bracelet afterward. Polyamory entirely possible — several bondmates — but so is adultery. As asari typically outlive non-asari partners, continue wearing a bracelet for each, even after engaging in new bonds — number of bracelets indicative of number of bondmates throughout lifetime.
[A few stock images are interspersed throughout : a bond ceremony with an asari in a bond ceremony dress holding the hands of a turian in uniform and a krogan also in a bond ceremony dress ; a close-up of several bond ceremony bracelets on a blue wrist — the bracelets' metal looks like copper, and the bands are large enough to have glyphs inscribed down their entire circumference.]
Children raised by bondmates together as long as they're able — greater family involved but typically doesn't live in family home. Great importance placed on asari learning about father's species and culture, encouraged to identify with them — but asari's mother considered "authoritative" parent, not father. Asari sub-adults transition into Maiden stage around 40 years old — become sexually mature. Won't be actual legal adults until age of 50 — usually leave parents' home, start roaming the galaxy or go to university. Maidens still in family home by 60 considered somewhat shameful.
Lifespan differences unfortunately entail that children's father's death before children reach maturity inevitable — sometimes long before children reach maturity if father's species short-lived. Many asari mothers consequently raise children on their own, or with step-fathers — Matrons - asari between 300 and 700 years old - therefore also likely to seek out casual sexual partners, but ultimately probably looking for companions — emotional intimacy, trust, respect — better than raw sex — more conducive to unions.
[As Dr. S. makes his presentation, the same cartoon asari comes back on the table and visibly transitions into the Matron stage : she grows a little taller, her breasts grow larger and her hips grow much wider ; moreover, she builds up fat over her muscles. She takes a table, a chair and a laptop out of hammerspace and immediately sits down to work. Blue asari babies progressively pop up around her ; she takes time off her work to breastfeed them. After a while, she closes her laptop and starts playing with the babies.]
"Union" name of most intimate form of melding asari can engage in — complete connection of nervous systems until each individual experiences the other's feelings, sensations, thoughts — discrete personhood blurs — "two become one". Unions exploration and revelation of each other's identities — almost unimaginable level of intimacy. Sample non-asari interviewees often call experience "transcendental" — asari themselves consider unions fundamental to their species and cultures, how they "learn to grow as a species" and how they develop a greater understanding of others. Belief root of normative obligate xenophilia — asari/asari unions tolerated, but viewed with suspicion by asari at large, as likely to result in daughters from two asari, perhaps greatest cultural taboo in asari society at present.
Asari extremely discriminating about potential union partners — consider "promiscuity" to apply to asari who are careless about who they engage in unions with, not who they have sex with — myths and legends warning against initiating unions with untrustworthy people prevalent in all asari cultures — asari therefore choose union partners with great care. Sex in fact common way for asari to select viable union partners from pool of liaisons.
Attitudes on unions variable, depend on culture and relationship. Sometimes asari engaging in union with sexual partner signal that relationship now involving emotional commitment, possibly joint parenthood commitment. Traditionally, unions initiated only for reproductive purposes — nowadays, most unions recreational — but strongly associated to conception. Many asari consider unthinkable to conceive children with someone they have only rarely, if ever, melded with — conversely, some intimate relationships culminate in a single union to conceive a child, with both parents parting ways afterward.
Unions may or may not have a sexual component — with salarians or other asexual individuals for instance, connection purely mental — "essence" of the "true connection". However, melding of nervous systems means sharing desires, erogenous zones, stimuli — unions therefore often associated to sexual intercourse — known as erotic melding. Some asari philosophers considered erotic melding a distraction from the "true union", the transcendance of selves — argue that orgasms not favorable state of mind for introspection and revelation of the vulnerable parts of the psyche. Parallel asari melding practice of the joining - sharing specific memories with someone who is deeply respected, trusted or loved, irrelevant of sexual or romantic relationship - mitigates pertinence of argument.
Possible "horny" Alliance soldiers may wish to undertake union with asari, consider it ultimate sexual experience ; attitude likeliest to result in unions never being offered — foolhardy, dangerous. Difficult to underemphasize power of unions in relationships : union partner becomes person in the universe who knows you better than anyone, and who you know better than anyone. Introspection also something you may not wish upon yourself. Staggering scale of intimacy often makes possibility of living away from the other difficult, and repellent personalities can be wrested out of social performance and revealed. Not something to enter in lightly.
Engaging in steady relationship with Matrons, regardless of presence or possibility of children, not without its challenges : even in best circumstances, relationship will end in debilitating old age, disease and death — yours. Asari have learned to take philosophical approach to situation — don't focus on the loss of their partners, enjoy the time spent with them — believe that unions allows parts of dead partners to live on in them after demise, that unions foster connection that transcends time and space. Very difficult for non-asari however : some individuals refuse committed relationships with asari on principle ; some rely on denial, and refuse to listen to the "lifespan talk" ; some profess their own philosophical approach only for it to be sorely tested in last shit-stained decades. Often important to seek out professional guidance from counselors — if you need help, seek help !
Relationships with Matriarchs - asari over 700 years old - can also happen, but unlikely : while new romance and a lot of sex still possible, Matriarchs usually shift focus on families, followers, and communities. Sexual urges diminish - infrequent melds actually precipitate biological transition before 700th-birthday benchmark - and youth, while charming in its vitality, often considered tedious because of relative inexperience — and almost anyone who isn't an asari "young". But as with everything here, generalization : exceptions exist, abound.
[As Dr. S. makes his presentation, the same cartoon asari undergoes her transition to the Matriarch stage : her breasts grow noticeably larger, and she also grows taller. She loses some of the fat she had gained during the Matron stage, and becomes noticeably wrinkled. She takes a datapad and starts delivering a half-muted gibberish speech.]
Matrons and Matriarchs much less likely to have sex with other people beside bondmates — intimacy with someone they want to share and spend life with can't be topped — and melding much, much more enjoyable than sex. Nevertheless, open relationships possible, dependent on individual preferences.
Unlike humans, sexual relationships between adult asari from different peer groups completely normal — almost expected. Maidens very "horny" for other asari, especially Matrons and Matriarchs — eager to "show off" to impress them — scientific speculation that Maiden eagerness to travel and seduce older asari actually significant aspect of asari form of reproduction, but asari reluctance to comprehensively study own reproduction equally significant obstacle to further understanding.
Corresponding romantic relationships taboo however — potential for abuse considered high because of vast disparity in life experiences. Any kind of contact after the sexual relationship seen as abnormal —increases chance of relationship devolving into romantic relationship. Strong Maiden exogamous instincts entail asari never meant to see again older asari they're sleeping with.
PLEASURE AND JOY WITH ASARI
Unsurprisingly, asari therefore consider morphological signs of age and experience attractive — smooth transition into discussion of asari beauty and modesty standards, with breasts as case study.
Partial exposure of breasts not associated to sexual arousal — not primarily associated. Change in breast size common sign of hormone-based transition to new "stage" of asari life — larger in Matrons, largest in Matriarchs. Display of mammaries suggestive of related values of motherhood, power, benevolence, vulnerability, confidence, willingness to cooperate, leadership — formal assertion of dominance. Prevalent among theologians, politicians, businessasari, justicars. Total exposure not taboo for same reasons — though currently out of fashion for "lack of subtlety". Not a sign of personal interest in sexual intimacy with random seeing individual. No "come-on".
Secondary association to attraction and recreational sexual activity, nonetheless. Large "racks" universally considered attractive, because of association with age.
Ungloved asari hands also not necessarily a signal of sexual receptiveness : usually a sign that asari routinely engage in manual labor or "hands-on" activity, e.g. agricultural laborers, industrial workers, police officers, etc. However, considered mildly vulgar, class signifier — any kind of formal or ceremonial attire includes partial or total gloves. For instance, patrol C-Sec officers will usually wear a gloveless and shortsleeved uniform, but criminal investigators will wear full gloves at all times while at work, and full dress uniforms for all asari always include gloves. Naturally induces most asari to buy and wear their own gloves.
Beside hands and neck protection, modesty standards highly variable from culture to culture, but practical and tolerant asari mindset ensures that overwhelmingly majority of asari nonjudgemental of clothing (or lack thereof) they would find shocking and offensive if they wore it personally — mixity and hybridity of asari cultures ensure that clothing mostly up to personal preferences and sense of what is comfortable. For instance, exposure of vulva, backside and/or navel sometimes considered improper and indecent, sometimes entirely insignificant. Overall, asari consider the full exposure of the naked body not to be shameful in and of itself, though must be appropriate to circumstances, e.g. public bathing — nudity taboo therefore situational, not categorical as in most human cultures barring outliers.
Other beauty standards include skin that is not dry, a signifier associated both with class and age (Matriarchs and upper-class asari less likely to work outside). Asari eager to make other people think them older than they actually are, in particular that they are or about to be Matriarchs when they've only just entered the Matron stage — sometimes will even use biotics to temporarily shift mass and texture of facial skin when they want to impress or/and look attractive. Finally, asari consider gangly and asymmetrical scalp crests unattractive, whereas firm, proportionate (for a given value of proportionate) and symmetrical scalp crests considered desirable : as scalp crests grow into shape while asari approach Maiden stage, scalp crests associated with maturity, sexuality, adulthood.
Best, therefore, when flirting with asari, not to say they look younger than they really are — insulting — suggestion they look immature and not worth taking seriously — in most extreme cases, may result in head blasted off by vindictive biotic display. Entirely possible you wish to risk dangerously, however. Not one to judge : all "kinks" legitimate. Beside, important to let natural selection run its course.
Unfortunate reality that, though asari driven to understand non-asari, few non-asari truly seek to understand them : common fetishization of asari and especially of asari sexual partners has resulted in abundance of disparaging rumors, misinformation and inaccuracies being "common knowledge". Sexual education also occasion for you, Alliance soldier and representative, to turn back tide of falsehood at your level.
First thing to understand in non-human species : non-verbal communication — body language. As with salarians, easy to understand asari body language : asari strongly empathic thanks to biological predisposition further reinforced by culture, prone to mirror body language of other non-asari when possible — unlike salarians, not reflexive, but partly conscious effort. As both asari and humans primarily communicate through visual and auditory signals, very little lost in non-verbal translation. A few exceptions : as virtually all asari biotics, appearance of blue biotic corona writhing around hands and body - biotic flashing - a threat display, sign of frustration and anger — slightly glowing eyes correlated signal. However, shows of aggression - whether verbal or non-verbal - taboo in some asari cultures, deeply transgressive — perfect example of problem particularly pronounced with asari : difficult to make generalizations about asari cultures and expectations.
For instance, some asari cultures also far less demonstrative than many human cultures : being able to control one's passions and not impose outbursts on others considered mature, altruistic. Usually counterbalanced by clear communication of what asari want or expect - asari more practiced with cultural shock than any other society - without implication or circumspection. Saying what one means and meaning what one says greatly valued by most asari, though never in a way that is aggressive or could be detrimental to the stability and cooperation of a larger group. Greater emotional maturity of multicentenarian asari means that ego far less of an issue in asari groups of equals than in informal groups with, say, humans.
Important to reciprocate : asari usually able to immediately intuit most of what humans trying to dance around in conversations anyway, frustrated by how sensitive some non-asari can be to the truth — by reluctance to be direct and straightforward — by seemingly instinctive shows of ego and ambition and urge to establish individual dominance in group — by apparent inability to think long-term. Important to keep in mind famous asari proverb : at times, saying nothing better than being right. Crude generalization (for instance, virtually all Maidens live in the moment) but deep cultural touchstones nonetheless : rare to meet asari not preoccupied to some extent with stability and long-term, non-violent cooperation of in-group, even if otherwise contradicted by personal beliefs and actions.
For the same reason, asari in a crowd tend to all move at the same pace (with the exception of children), and subconsciously align themselves on asari walking the slowest—out of respect for asari that are very old, very sick, or with impaired motor functions — also because asari, much like elcor, culturally value "presence over progress". Millenium-long natural lifespan also reason not to hurry. Pioneer studies by T'Leia and Amnoss showed that possible to infer on what asari planet one is simply by observing average speed of crowds — Illium asari crowds the fastest, whereas Hyetiana crowds the slowest, followed by Thessia crowds. Therefore, asari not staying by your side when you purposefully slow down and try to get some distance from group of friends for private emotionally-charged conversation not a sign that asari not fond of you — sign that asari is trying to keep up the pace.
Asari sense of personal space more acute and wider than for many human cultures, outside of easy melding distance : best therefore not to get too close to asari unless and until they close the distance themselves, as otherwise might startle asari. As in humans, casual touching sign of growing emotional intimacy, though far more significant than in most human cultures. Moreover, do not try to shake hands or high-five asari : hand-on-hand contact associated with melding, sudden arm movement associated with biotic attacks. Asari typically formally greet each other from a distance by crossing arms together and bowing slightly — briefly placing fingertips of right hand over forehead casual greeting. First meetings of Alliance diplomats with asari mediators from Citadel immediately after armistice of human First Contact War were… awkward. May have helped convince Citadel Council of humanity's peaceful intentions, however. Also may have contributed to humanity's broader reputation as "perverts".
Finally, do not try to have sex with asari under age of 50, even if older than you — statutory rape — asari biological development different from humans', much slower — though biologically an adult around 40 years old, legal adulthood in Asari Republics and other asari-dominated states around 50 Earth years old. Citadel courts unlikely to accept defense either that you "assumed" non-human victim had same age of consent as yours or that you didn't think to ask her age — if you live. All asari biotics, and very well aware, thanks to exhaustive education, of personal sexual rights even at a young age.
Like humans, asari often engage in sexual activities out of sight on adequate furniture and where they sleep — however, asari do not sleep in beds but in nest-like basins filled with cushions called pods. Many versions available, from the antique to the cutting-edge ("pleasure pod"). Some other asari cultures instead sleep in nests : circular depressions in bedroom floor filled with cushions. Unlike many humans, adult asari more readily sleep with other asari they're not romantically or sexually involved with, usually relatives or friends — as previously stated, nudity not inherently erotic. Pods and nests accordingly very large — studies attest that very comfortable for sex between two to four people. In situations where asari cannot or won’t afford pods or nests, settle for beds, possibly cots — not as comfortable, and narrower.
If engaged in consensual erotic activity with adult asari, keep in mind key question : are you about to have sex, or are you about to meld together ? Fortunately, asari sexual partner extremely likely to be specific and ask consent — and profoundly unlikely to initiate melding if occasion first naked time together. A few clues suggest melding : utterance of culturally significant phrase "Embrace eternity" or longer mantra — or most spectacularly, eyes turning entirely black — black pupil, grey-black iris, black sclera. Not sign of disease — activation of ocular chromatophores key visual signal that asari ready to engage in melding process.
If asari ready to meld without your permission, run — sign that asari doesn't care about your safety. Asari physically more powerful than you, biotic, and can exert conscious control over your nervous system once connected to her own through melding — if has no desire not to hurt you, you will be defenseless. Situation beyond improbable — such actions profoundly taboo among all asari, and prosecuted with uncharacteristic severity — but improbability not impossibility.
Less dire, and more frequent : biotic neural itching. Unique form of asari sexually-transmitted disease — neurological — creates randomly flaring phantom sensations in different parts of the body, itching, stinging, tingling, prickling, which cannot be assuaged because spontaneously generated by brain. Highly annoying — considered shameful among asari, even more shameful to be contagion vector. Can be transmitted to anyone who melds with afflicted asari, and can and must be treated. Otherwise will keep itching forever.
Beside discerning whether you are engaging in meldless sex or sexual melding, and ascertaining related indication of emotional proximity and cultural significance, both activities share same concern : mutual gratifying stimulation of erogenous zones. Key difference between asari and humans, despite broadly similar morphology : asari have scales. Though much finer on average than those of other scaled species like krogan or drell, important to keep in mind that thicker skin relative to yours requires slightly stronger touch to elicit broadly similar sensation. However, scale thickness highly variable : thinnest around eyes, eyelids, nose, lips, insides of outer ears, neck folds, undersides of breasts, nipples, palms of hands, azure, and outer vulva. Easier to see on blue-skinned asari : slight purplish cast because of purple asari blood running below. As in humans, vulva swells up when excited, turns visibly purple (or purpler, if asari already purple-skinned) with dilation of arterioles. Tongue highly sensitive too - lacks scales - hence development of "kissing" as in many other species.
Important to consider for an instant neck folds and scalp crests : both kinds of structure participate in asari thermoregulation, can be surprisingly cold or hot depending on environment and health — often surprising for non-asari sexual partners. Neck folds extremely sensitive and require very delicate stimulation, if at all — similar to most sensitive types of human clitores. Scalp crests, while also sensitive, not so delicate, though only semi-flexible : twisting or bending them out of shape painful, much like twisting and bending humans' own cartilage-based anatomical structures, like ear funnels — scalp crests do not move or flop around — "hair tentacles" misleading and insulting descriptor, and deeply anthropocentric.
Out of all nine scalp crests, three inner scalp crests - bending down alongside curve of skull - least flexible, erogenous and sensitive — asari often deeply repulsed by notion of "fiddling" them — though as always, exceptions do exist. Six outer scalp crests, which curve backwards then up, more likely to be stimulated to induce erotic sensation — more sensitive where join with thinner skin of face, along central ridges, edges and undersides, and especially at tips. All nine crest tips particularly sensitive — suggest experimenting with sucking, nibbling, kissing, gentle stroking and pinching.
Various kinds of penetrative activities - whether fingers, intromittent organ, or something else - possible depending on individual asari preferences, though best to engage in mutual stimulation : ubiquitous marenala symbol for love - asari equivalent to human heart shape - metaphorically suggestive of two astronomical bodies circling each other without colliding — actually represents standard asari sexual pose, similar to what some human cultures call "69". Penetration of birth canal possible and pleasurable for both participants if done well, but necessary to apply a lot of lubricant beforehand in addition to sexscreen : unlike human vaginas, which often require artificial lubricant as well, asari birth canals do not self-lubricate when aroused.
However, asari typically repulsed by notion of anal stimulation and penetration — considered abnormal, repellent kink in asari and non-asari. Cultural equivalent to nostril penetration kink among humans.
Unlike humans, but much like Earth birds, asari do not pee — all body waste evacuated anally — strict difference in function between vulva and anus, reducing overall likelihood of infections when compared with species with urogenital organs and/or orifices. Longstanding symbolic, dichotomous opposition between vulva - lower orifice exclusively used for sexual stimulation and childbirth - and anus - lower orifice exclusively used for excretion of waste products - as a result. Vulva associated to love, life, sex, pleasure. Anus associated to fecal matter, filth, disease.
Yet hypothetical viewer might think, "Sexual arousal synonymous with lowering of disgust threshold, and asari famous for seeking experiences of otherness from non-asari !" Objection factual, and possible for asari to derive erotic enjoyment from stimulation of anus : sphincters densely packed with nerve ends — always sensitive areas, regardless of species, because of function.
But — little to no incentive for asari to try to overcome ingrained disgust response. No major erogenous organ in anal tract as with male humans — no reason to wish for penetration. No intromittent sexual organ in asari — penetration not associated with sexual behavior. No risk of accidental pregnancy associated to vulva stimulation — no alternatives required. But risk of pain without lubricant.
Instances of anal stimulation and penetration typically occurring during melding, as asari share desires and pleasure of non-asari partner — but bilateral connection also makes non-asari partners experience asari's disgust and fear of infection and pain — non-asari inclined to engage in such practices therefore far less likely on average to do so during melding than during standard reciprocal sexual stimulation with non-asari partners, as shown in several studies.
Common male human fixation on anal penetration often named among reasons for noted asari reticence to engage in sexual relationships with male humans, alongside other behaviors typical of humans socialized as men from birth.
Asari often use biotics to heighten sexual experiences — typically to decrease mass of self or partner to assume positions otherwise difficult to sustain over an extended time period. Simulation of sex in zero gravity or use of multiple sex toys without hands also possible. Specifics depend on biotic talent and skill of individual asari, as well as personal inclinations — several biotic powers frequently used in BDSM scenarios, like Stasis, Lift, Pull… Ask asari what they are comfortable with and cross-reference with own curiosity and known preferences.
Finally, beware of taking asari to your room : asari able to see in ultraviolet frequencies, stains invisible to your human eyes will be flagrant for asari — unlikely they will agree to lie in your bed if haven't cleaned up beforehand. Possible they will not even agree to enter your room after glancing inside. Odds of successful sexual encounter highly unlikely at this point. Difficult to clean up and erase what you cannot see : best to hire asari, salarian, hanar or quarian cleaning service.
Alternatively, rent room in asari-managed hotel.
[A link at the bottom of the video reveals that Dr. S. has no financial, familial or otherwise personal interests tied to the development, prosperity and profits of any specific cleaning or hospitality businesses on the Citadel or elsewhere.]
Best not to ask what is human hygienic reputation among asari… or salarians.
OOC End Notes : The paradox of the asari is that they have always been maligned and ill-represented by BioWare, but if you know where to look there is a ton to say, especially if you look into the secondary canon or the implications of Liara's ME1 dialogue. Much of what you've read may seem like my own inventions to you, but you may be surprised to learn they have canonical precedent.
Moreover, the asari have always inspired a lot of people, especially on this website ; I suppose the wasted potential of a species of space non-binary lesbians outside of patriarchy was too tantalizing to resist. I have been among these people : asari were my first lore love. But I never was part of the earlier, original party of fans and headcanoners who were so enamored with the possibility of asari that they kept coming up with infinitely inventive and thoughtful headcanons, one after another. There are a few of them left here, though many of them have moved on to other fandoms (or professional writing careers), and I fear that, nearly fifteen years after ME3 came out, too few among those who are now active here in our little bubble of fandom have heard about them. I certainly don't know about them all : I joined the fandom too late. But I absorbed many of their headcanons through osmosis, because they were brilliant, and I have tried to acknowledge them as theirs here. Fatally, I must have forgotten to credit quite a few of these, and for this I must apologize and plead exhaustion, forgetfulness, poor time management, and haste.
Anyway, all of that to say, if you like what you've read it, the people you should often be grateful for are @theivorytowercrumbles, @dr-jekyl, @stealthydentist, and many others who I've never known.
The unfortunate consequences of bringing your date home when they can see UV radiation, however, are unsurprisingly my own idea, among others.
