strangelyconflicted

sorry, had to create a new blog;;;;  strangelyconflicted on Ao3, @strngeconflict on Twitter. | i ship both fictional stuff and rps, so please be warned. | 18+ only please  

[strangelyconflicted]

16 ON 91'S LAP 16 ON 91'S LAP I'VE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE I HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE AGAIN THANK U KERF 16 ON 91'S LAP

[paulmartinamericanhero]

this was in my drafts from a year ago and i’m not sure of what i intended to do with these 

[strangelyconflicted]

Uploaded my podfic cover of leavethebes’ “that center called love!”

title: that center called love rating: T pairing: mitch marner/john tavares summary (from author):

  “John jabs at a burger on the grill with his spatula and then flips it over. “What’s wrong with my garden gnomes?” he asks.

  “They’re creepy,” Mitch says, “and very ugly.”

Podfic length: 49:34 (mp3) | 49:39 (m4b)

LINK [on AO3]

[strangelyconflicted]

Looking for Podfic Beta (1691)

Looking for someone who:

• Ships John Tavares/Mitch Marner

• Listens to podfics

I need a beta who can give me notes on mispronounced words, unclear passages (e.g., garbled or rushed words), jarring tone changes, and other notes they may have.

The cover is 50 minutes long, with musical interludes.

Willing to beta read fic or podfic of any pairing in return!

[strangelyconflicted]

accidentally wrote fic today 😐

but literally? didn't plan to write, but i lied down at 9:11 PM and finished a quick fic by 11:56 PM

it's in AO3 now, NOT beta read; heed the lables!

[festival-of-pudding]

is there anything better as a writer than an AO3 message that someone went through all your fics in a fandom? “[person] left kudos on [story1]. [person] left kudos on [story2]. [person] left kudos on [story3].” GLORIOUS. like you actually read words I wrote and thought “hmm, yes good, I will continue” and then did so. magical. i saw some Youths out there afraid this is “stalking” but as an Old let me tell you au contraire, it is a rare sweet nectar that warms our ancient dead hearts 💖

[strangelyconflicted]

shout out to the readers who do this!!

[shoyowo]

Some of you have never shipped a rare pair and it shows.

[professorsparklepants]

Some of you have never invented a rarepair, written the only fic for it, and then wallowed alone in your special mud pit of crack pairings and it shows

[strangelyconflicted]

me writing the only joe thornton/frederik anderson fic on ao3

[aurumacadicus]

Some of my followers have expressed confusion as to the dead dove situation! That is okay.

There is a show called Arrested Development. There is one specific scene where a character finds a bag in the fridge. The bag is labeled “DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!” The character looks inside the bag. It is a dead dove. The character looks up and says, “I don’t know what I expected.”

The bag warned specifically what was inside it. The character looked anyway and found what the bag warned about. It was not the bag’s fault he looked, nor the fault of the person who labeled the bag, because, hey, they warned anyone who looked at it there is a dead dove in this bag. It is entirely the fault of the character who looked, and he admits that by saying he didn’t know what he expected other than what he was warned for.

This warning phrase has become a tag for authors, mostly because people are looking at the warnings, reading the fic, and then complaining about things they were warned about beforehand. It is the authors saying, “You read the tags and looked anyway. That is on you, not on me, because I warned you. You made the choice to open the fic and read it. You made the choice to open the bag.”

I’ve found that when I find this tag on a fic, it’s because it deals with some pretty heavy stuff, so I like it as a reminder to check the tags carefully and read any notes the author may have before I decide to dive into a fic. In the end, what you consume is your choice, and if you read something you don’t like despite the author’s warnings (like I did yesterday), that’s on you. I should have closed the window when I realized what was happening and I didn’t, and that’s on me.

[kedreeva]

That moment, hopefully more than one but especially the first one, when you're reading a fanfic and a character says something they never ever said in canon, but you hear it crystal clear in their voice in your head, when it hits so spot on in word use and syntax and characterization that you feel like you heard them say it, like it could have come straight from their mouth in canon even though it didn't, and you know this one's gonna be good

[kedreeva]

I love and appreciate every single person in the notes that mentioned their favorite author who does this for them, and I hope they see you saying so and have a really nice night because of it

[mylittleredgirl]

my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

[strangelyconflicted]

My fic's a love letter to: Hockey, love as a choice cultivated from inexplicable emotions, growth regardless of age, change and temperance, and the fluidity of sexuality and sexual preferences

[strangelyconflicted]

Writing hockey plays and understanding individual team systems is HARD, I'm about to send gift baskets to Barry Trotz and Jon Cooper

[strangelyconflicted]

as someone writing this 1691 fic, im happy *ll or n*thing exists, but im afraid it'll mess up my character profiles and plot beats HDHDJSKSKSK

[primeemeraldheiress]

When you're angry at the characters, the story is well-written. When you're angry at the writers, it is not.

[taraljc]

the presumption here is that audiences can tell the difference.

[lenaluthorlover]

presuming they’re not children, the audience can usually tell. ex: when a character does something you don’t like - but it feels like something the character would do - you get mad at the character. when a character does something you don’t like - and the history of that character makes it unbelievable that the character would do that thing - you get mad at the writers.

[blutterlie]

^^^^^^^^^^^THIS

[edisacornball]

The fact that you're aware of the writer's existence at all should be a clue. The writer should be invisible to you if they've done their job properly.

[newathens]

baby i’ve got half finished wips you couldn’t even imagine

[newathens]

[dear-ao3]

[grittyreadsfic]

very curious about the new brand of homophobia but also totally respect you not wanting to elaborate?

time is a circle and everything always comes back to people reinventing the wheel except this time the wheel is just homophobia

and you might be asking yourself: grits, we're largely here reading and writing queer stories, how could that be homophobic?

well!

it's not every fic, and it's not every ship, and it's not every writer. you might read what i'm saying and recognize an action you've done and maybe that means what i'm saying applies to you, or maybe it doesn't. this is the internet and it's full of nuance and this isn't a clear cut thing about someone just straight up using a slur (though hrpf did make me read the r slur with no ableism warnings in the last year, so honestly i wouldn't be surprised)

anyway: there's a trend i've noticed, in writing and just in how the community treats the player overall, that if a player displays any "feminine" trait-being on the smaller side, dressing in a nicer outfit, doing more than just basic hygiene, basically anything that distinguishes them from the stereotype of your basic bro-they take that player and make them a bottom. they turn it into an identity that is basically their whole identity and reduce the character to just that one trait.

and you know, there's a time and place. i've said it once and i'll say it again: if something exists, there's porn for it. if it's just porn? whatever, tag it appropriately, do what you gotta, i'm not here to kinkshame anyone. you wanna write force fem porn? sick, go for it

however, when it goes past that-when it's not just porn but it shapes how characters are written, how it influence the perspective on the players-or because this isn't unique to hockey fic, the characters in general-that's where my issue lies

because it's reducing queer identities down to a stereotype. this is inherently homophobic. it's worse than that, actually, because of the issues that arise with that stereotype too when you look at it through an intersectional lens, but that's a whole other can of worms that is for another post.

right, so, this stereotype: the "feminine" guy is a bottom (and like, not to be crude, but i'd argue that for some characters it reduces them further to simply a hole) and it turns the ship into a caricature of queer representation that reminds me way too much of the really limited mlm ships we saw in media ten, fifteen years ago-it feels like someone's about to ask who's the man in the relationship, and who's the woman. and sure, plenty of queer people have preferences about topping and bottoming, and i'm sure for some people it is a part of their personality, but like. i'm seeing characterizations of players getting reduced down to that and nothing else and it just makes me tired.

this becomes a problem when it's widespread. when it shapes entire views of characters or players or, fuck, carries over to how you view the real live gay people in your life.

anyway i was told i should give actual examples of what i mean so here are some of those:

-every smaller usndtp kid is automatically written as a slutty, bratty bottom, generally because of the kind of derogatory side of the stereotypes around twinks. these ones gets reduced to just a hole pretty quick, and like, again, if you're just writing porn, sure, go for it, but it's starting to become to full personality that people are giving them

-i've actually stopped reading tknp fic that isn't by authors i trust or is a fic i've read and liked previously because hrpf people took all the trans people projecting their gender onto summer nolan and essentially force femmed his character both like. in sex and outside of it? i don't know how else to describe it except i kept reading it and it just felt homophobic. it felt reductive and insulting, honestly

-some of you are here just to fetishize mlm and that's really not my business but you might want to unpack that idk

anyway the tldr of it all is that y'all turned top and bottom into secondary genders and there's a lot homophobia (and honestly, some transphobic implications as well lmao) because of it

[strangelyconflicted]

I LOVE IT WHEN RESEARCH TURNS OUT DIRECT CONNECTIONS THAT YOU NEED FOR YOUR FIC