can't believe i found this blog after 10 years
and reading through it is somewhat heartwarming. i can see myself going through the motions as the leaving cert progresses through the lens of this blog which is really interesting...
during the leaving cert was the height of my anxiety - i would come into school every day absolutely shaking and my heart would be racing, i used to feel so sick coming in every day. i was going through a very difficult time mentally, that no one in my life knew about - i didn't have a lot of close friends by the end of school, and i absolutely hated change, knowing that the progression between school and adulthood was looming around the corner, and the fear of not finding myself as an adult...
i was disappointed in my LC results, mostly because I knew I wasn't getting into biomedical science. I read over the posts of me coming to terms with it, and pondering if biosciences was the course for me instead. i had actually gotten into medical science in GMIT, but wasn't committed to moving across the country, it would have ruined me. i'm a massive homebird, i needed familiarity in the stage of change in my life. most people were excited to move away from home, while i wanted to nest for eternity.
after humming and hawing, i accepted biosciences in DIT!
of which i left after 2 days.
i knew it wasn't right, i hated commuting to dublin and my contact hours for college were far too intense for someone travelling, when i walked into the classroom, my gut told me to leave. i was so disappointed with myself, i hated that i couldn't get to grips with college. im also a very shy person (initially!) so going to college in dublin was absolutely not for me. i was so nervous. i left, and proceeded to work for the year, which did me wonders. i needed to be in a somewhat adult space and figure myself out, outside of my circle and way beyond my comfort zone. i worked in a nightclub which forced me to socialize, i started dating my first serious boyfriend (another learning experience...!) i moved out, i made friends, i drank, i started smoking (lol!! not the best way to deal with anxiety, but it still does work, unfortunately), and started to feel more "adult-y".
I had made up my mind, and it was going against my heart, but my head knew it was right. Biosciences was also available in a college ten minutes away from me, in ITC (or SETU Carlow as it's now known...) I still had my heart set on science, it was my passion and I knew I'd be well able for it. I HATED, and i mean truly hated, this college with a passion, until i stepped in the doors on the first day. i felt at home instantly, i knew it was right, i was settling immediately (even though i was still initially very, very nervous and shy, i loved my classes and the community aspect of it).
So, after a long, long 5 years (I repeated final year, as covid had hit in my final year, and with my absolutely abysmal organizational skills and detest for at home lectures), I graduated with a 1.1 in biosciences with biopharmaceuticals, and headed on my merry way.
I got some work experience in a small pharma company in Kilkenny, hated it due to how awful some of the people were (and these people actually work in the same network as me at the moment, which is INCREDIBLY surprising given their attitude and absolute lack of GMP skills, but that sure does work in an office setting sometimes) and left even when i was offered to stay on. I was slightly disillusioned, until I finally found my way into my absolute dream job - just a short distance away from my home and college, my ideal role in a microbiology lab... it was a dream come true, and im still living it!
I'm just 3 years into my role now, and it's enabled me to flourish - through my work I got a permanent role after starting as a contractor, working on a brand new site project in the same role which has been stressful, but SO much fun at the same time, learning my niches, and loving the structure of the work, it suits me down to the ground.
Life is good, and it's not all about the LC! (Although my instinct is still to be a journalist and write opinion pieces in the Independent, but that dream can be tucked away into bed for a little while, after reading back this grammar-challenged word vomit, I wouldn't say I'm a worthy contender... :D)
