Suck My Dick, New Yorker Caption Contest

Every week, the New Yorker has a caption contest. Every week, it would be way funnier if they just talked about sucking dick. By Nate Heller & Emily Heller. WE KNOW IT'S STUPID BUT THANKS FOR TELLING US SO ANYWAY. Not Affiliated with Conde Nast or The New Yorker.

[suckmydicknewyorker]

“Hey man, wanna suck my dick?”

[suckmydicknewyorker]

“Why doesn’t one of you ‘make like a tree’ and suck my dick.”

[suckmydicknewyorker]

“It’s your night to suck his dick.”

[suckmydicknewyorker]

Kudos to the New Yorker on publishing a cartoon that's funnier than anything we've ever posted

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"Your snake looks kinda sick, man, maybe I should suck on his dick?"

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"Ok done. Flip over and I'll suck yours. Dave?....Dave??"

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"I refuse to suck your dick until you see a doctor about the lump."

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"One time I was getting my dick sucked by this really attractive woman I'd met in a bar. I was pretty drunk and had eaten a frito pie for dinner. Long story short I lost control of and evacuated my bowels all over her cashmere throw, while she was sucking my dick. The crazy part was that she just kept going. Anyway, can I start you off with sparkling, still or tap?"

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"I sucked that guy's dick in '94."

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"Sure the location has its disadvantages, but my dick-sucking studio is right around the corner."

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"I'd kill for a good dick to suck on right now."

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"That's a nice picture of you sucking your partner's dick and all, but without just cause you can't detain me."

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"Help! I've fallen and I can't suck my own dick!"

[suckmydicknewyorker]

“Whoa!!! I’m not suckin’ that thing!!!!!”

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"How’s it going sucking my dick down there?”

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"I’ll suck that big old dick, teeth and all”

[suckmydicknewyorker]

"I can’t find anyone tall enough for me to suck their dick.”