a very small and pissed off anxiety

Ask blog for a pre-AA AU where Virgil shrinks down to five inches when Thomas represses him. This goes badly once the others find out. Chrono Link

[suppressedanxiety]

Hope you're having a wonderful holiday season! I think about this series quite a bit and it holds a fond place in my heart, and will continue to do so no matter what. We love you 💙💙💙 take care of yourself

-🐌

((<3 thank you so much! hope to keep updating soon :) ))

[suppressedanxiety]

Just found this and read the whole thing. It’s incredible! I hope you are well! Just checking in to see if this is still a thing that you are still interested in. No pressure it’s totally up to you if you want to or don’t want to.

But if you think you might want to here’s a little encouragement based off my reading experience. I was crying it’s so good. I was holding my breath at every turn. You write suspense so well and your writing style feels so fandom but so unique and distinctive. I love it so much!

I am not saying this to pressure you in anyway. I am just saying this in the if you think you might want to make more you still have fans who would love to see it

(( <3 ))

[suppressedanxiety]

Red! Creativity, what exactly are you doing out there? 💬

Roman wiped his forehead off with an arm, leaning back for a moment to survey his handiwork. 

“I’m doing what I do best, of course! Thomas needs ideas, inspiration, ingenuity, and Yours Truly is here to provide them!” he beamed as another series of potential projects sunk into Thomas’s mind, somewhat sporadically connected but all sound ideas nonetheless. “This is excellent, just like Patton said! I’ve never had so many good ideas so quickly.

“Normally, quite a few of them don't meet my standards, and even more get shot down by Negative Nancy before they even have a chance to fully flourish. Though, I suppose that won’t be a problem now.”    

He paused, something in his mind catching on the idea of Anxiety. There was something about him that had made Roman feel… upset. No, worried? About Anxiety? 

Roman frowned, trying to remember what he’d been planning on doing before this brainstorming session distracted him. His purpose took priority, but he’d been putting out plenty of concepts, so there wasn’t any harm in checking in on his guest. 

Decided, he stepped out of the Imagination and was astonished to see that the fairy lights in his room had shifted into the soft lilac and silver of early evening. It had been a while since he’d been caught up in a creative fugue long enough to lose track of time. 

He shook the surprise away, scanning the front of the miniature castle for Anxiety. No sign of him. 

Ignoring the twist of unease in his gut as the glow of the Imagination faded away, he stepped forward and tapped the enclosure, watching as the rooms began to rotate, waiting for them to settle wherever the tiny side had hidden away. 

The castle kept rotating, cycling through each room over and over with no results to show for it. 

Roman stepped closer, and there was a crunch under his heel. He jumped back, panicked imaginings of a tiny body flashing through his brain before he registered the hunk of plaster on the floor. Even as he watched, the palm-sized bit of ceiling cracked in half, the orange portal he’d so carefully placed on it fizzling into nothing. 

The portal that the moat led to. Which had been on the floor instead of inside the castle where he’d left it. The castle that was empty.

Anxiety had escaped. 

The realization seemed to clear the cobwebs from his mind, and he nearly bolted for the door before remembering himself and looking carefully at the floor around him. Nothing. 

There was no way the tiny Side would have chosen to stay in Roman’s room after escaping, so he carefully stepped over to the door and into the hall, scanning every bit of carpet around him before moving an inch. 

He couldn't possibly guess how much ground his quarry had covered while he was in the Imagination, so he kept his movements slow and quiet, hoping there were no convenient mouse-sized boltholes in their walls. 

As he got closer to the stairs, he could hear Patton whistling away, which meant that at the very least, Anxiety hadn’t gotten the attention of that Side yet. Patton would definitely be acting differently if he’d found Anxiety, especially if he was informed of the many mistakes of the past few days. 

Roman had thought the experiment would be easy enough to manage, but they hadn’t even made it to a week without losing the Side they were supposed to be monitoring. 

A spot of dark color finally caught his gaze, and he did a double take at the sight of Anxiety, tucked against the wall and curled up into the smallest shape he could manage. 

He wasn’t hiding, even though Roman’s steps must have been big enough to make the ground vibrate. He wasn’t running, despite the stairs to the kitchen (and by extension, Patton) being only inches away. He wasn’t even moving. 

Roman felt another spike of panic and knelt, carefully using a curled finger to pull Anxiety from the corner. He was moved without resistance, and when Roman scooped him into a palm, Anxiety was unsettlingly limp.

Despite this corpse-like behavior, Roman was close enough that he could make out the slight rise and fall of Anxiety’s chest, the way his eyes were actually open, with a thousand-yard stare that seemed to look right through him.    

“... Anxiety?” he asked softly, and got no response. 

For the first time, there wasn’t any tension in Anxiety’s body when he wrapped his fingers around him more securely, not a single twitch as he turned and hurried back to his room, and nothing resembling a response when Roman continued to try and question him.  

Throughout this entire ordeal, Anxiety had been full of motion and expression, raising his voice to argue with them and challenging their decision nearly every step of the way. Even when he wasn’t fighting, he was watching them with an intensity that would make anyone shudder. Big or small, Anxiety had never been shy about telling them exactly what he thought, often ready to escalate any disagreement into a fight.

Now, he didn’t fight anything, allowing Roman to position him on a seat and check him over for new injuries as though he couldn’t care less what the giant appendages around him were doing. As though he couldn’t care less what happened to him. His eyes were dull and faraway, making something in Roman’s chest twist unpleasantly. 

In all aspects, it was like he’d just… given up.

What had happened out there?

[suppressedanxiety]

Hey it’s been a while. Are you alright?

Anonymous said: is this still active?

((ive been focusing on writing on my main blog for the past few months! id like to come back to this blog soon, i just havent had the energy. we’ll see if i can get back into the swing of things!))

[suppressedanxiety]

Question for the author: do you have plans to ever add anything to the AO3 version? Or will it all stay here?

((once this storyline has wrapped up, im planning on transcribing the events into sequel chapters for the AO3 version! edited slightly to flow better, but yeah! :) ))

[suppressedanxiety]

(plead towards Virgil) C'mon, Virge! It's worse than you think it is. / (plead towards Patton, just in case) Hey Pat, you think you can check the top of the stairs for me? Be careful going up though!

Anonymous said: virgil honey please just go to patton. it will work out so much better this way. everything is a mess without you. patton locked logan in his room. oh wait patton locked logan in his room. at least I think it was patton? logan is locked in his room. roman is a jerk. patton is your best chance. thomas is being very un-socaily acceptable and also patton is not in the best state of mind (hence locking logan in his room) -Vibe

[Your words can’t reach Virgil in his current state!] [Your words can’t reach Patton in his current state!]

[suppressedanxiety]

Can't wait to watch Virgil shatter...

Anonymous said: So y'all gonna let anxiety go before or after he has a mental breakdown? Smh guys, you're acting straight up monstrous.

Anonymous said: Virge is officially traumatized no turning back now boys there was a chance before but I dont think he'll every trust either of you now especially because this whole situation is cruel and unusual punishment!

Anonymous said: Well done guys, you give him PTSD, hope you're happy now -🐙

Anonymous said: Virgil! Be careful on the stairs sweetie! Please don't hurt yourself!

@shadowtrooper1414 said: I swear, if Virgil falls down the stairs, Imma riot.

Anonymous said: How big are you compared to the stair steps?

Anonymous said: Stay close to the wall. Do not let them see you before you can get loud enough for Morality, Anxiety. It will be significantly harder for you to escape again after this. It doesn’t matter if they see you once Morality knows you are there. -💬

Anonymous said: Please tell me the current Patton will still be nice and help Virgil

@resident-crow-goth​ said: What is Patton doing right now? I'm slightly very worried what he'll do without proper adult supervision.

Anonymous said: Hey there, V! Congrats on your escape, but I figured I ought to warn you. Patton isn't exactly how you remember him. He's... well. You'll find out soon enough.

((mod warning: feelings of hopelessness, sad hours, this probably qualifies as angst. take care!))

-

Virgil could just barely see the top of Patton’s head as he got closer to the stairs. He opened his mouth to call out, but as he stepped nearer, the sound died in his throat. It felt as though gravity suddenly rested heavier on him, his body cumbersome. 

He took another few steps, shaking his head sharply as the feeling of dread only increased. What was wrong with him? This was his only chance! 

Virgil’s pace grew slower and slower, until he was standing still at the top of the landing, looking down the stairs and into the living room. 

He could see into part of the kitchen from here, could see the way that Patton was darting to and fro, hands full of bowls or pans or seasonings. The moral side was completely occupied, humming a cheerful tune as he worked. 

See. They don’t need you. Everything’s fine. It’s always been fine. 

He staggered slightly, overcome with dizziness at the sight of the stairs down, and sat back heavily on his heels.

He could imagine it, suddenly. What would happen. He could see the future playing out in front of him as clear as anything. 

He would plead his case to Patton, who would be confused and concerned and maybe even on his side for a moment. And then he would go to check with the others, get the ‘full story’, because who in the Mindscape would trust Anxiety at his word? 

Logan and Roman would be able to speak more eloquently than him, their argument supported by facts and passion and their undeniable care for Thomas. Patton would know better than anyone how Thomas’s emotional state was, and how unaffected it had been by Anxiety’s absence. How it was a positive change, even. 

Patton would look down at him with dawning understanding, and then pity, and he’d promise from the bottom of his heart that it was for the best that Virgil remain like this, out of their way, for the good of everyone. 

And then Patton would hand him back over, and with all three of them in agreement, there wouldn’t be any more talk of returning him to normal. He’d spend the rest of his existence as nothing more than a doll-sized burden on the others. No purpose. No motivation. No connection to the one person he cared about the most. 

He imagined the last core part of Thomas telling him that this was right, this was the way things should be, and just the thought of it was near enough to break him.

… In comparison to that, would staying with Roman and Logan really be so bad? Sure, they probably weren’t going to keep their word at the end of the week, but Virgil couldn’t do anything about it the way he was. Was there any point in wasting energy worrying about it? 

He moved closer to the wall, curling up against it with a sudden exhaustion. He had no options left. He’d never had any control while this size, why had he even dared to think that things would be different now?

[suppressedanxiety]

I love this blog and this series! You're one ominous little lime, I find myself hoping desperately for the sides to just talk to each other - but, alas. Still, I send you good vibes, ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Anonymous said: Just scrolled to the bottom and read e v e r y t h I n g in two hours I LOVE THIS AU

@rebythedepressedcookie said: I just binged this whole thing, I'm scared-

Anonymous said: Take your time!! We all appreciate the story you're telling, and will be here whenever you want to continue. Take care of yourself!! -🐌

Anonymous said: I totally respect you taking a break! Especially in these times. Stay safe wherever you are, and don't worry about this blog until or if you are ready again ^^ it's free content, so don't feel obligated to update or anything if you don't feel up to it. I know you know this already, but I just wanted to show a bit of support as a fellow writer! - ☠️

((thank u all i love u guys))

[suppressedanxiety]

(New here!just binged the whole thing and I love it!) hey Virgil, maybe you should try to go to your room so if anything does happen you’ll have some energy to use instead of just pure adrenaline, maybe heal your bruises??

Anonymous said: Shouldn't you go back to your room Virgil, I mean if you hide for long enough you could heal yourself and GROW!?

Anonymous said: Virge, dont you think it would be better to get to your room first? I know trusting Roman on Thomas' well being is hard, but you can't do anything either way if something is wrong right now. Plus Patton is probably going to be helping with the dream chasing by being a supporting dad, leaving Logan who we all know is not someone you'd like to run into. Maybe just for now to at least heal a bit go back to your room? Please?I'm confident Princey won't get him killed in the first hour anyway.

Anonymous said: Hey Anxiety, shouldn't you go to your room and build up some strength first?

Anonymous said: Wait, Virge, you really wanna ask Patton BEFORE going back to your room? Are you sure? You can check up on Thomas again once you’re better, right? So why not go directly to your room to heal up?

Anonymous said: Hey Virgil, shouldn’t you take a pit stop to your room? Doesn’t your room help bring you to your full height?

“Believe me, I’d love to be in my room right now, but I can’t.” Virgil pressed a hand to the wall, straining his senses for any sign of approaching footsteps as he hurried along. “I made sure the door was airtight after the Spider Incident of ‘07. If a spider can’t get out, there’s no convenient cracks big enough for me to get in.”

He could see the top of the stairs now, not too far off. Beyond that, there were noises in the kitchen. He was close.

“No, if I want to stop being mouse-sized, I need someone to open the door for me. As unfortunate as that is.” He scrubbed his hands through his hair nervously, his steps shaky. “It’s Patton. He’s a funny guy, and he’s Thomas’s morals. He won’t take advantage. He won’t.”

He shook his head, trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

Anonymous said: Alright, Anxiety. Let’s obtain this grain, if I’m getting the sentiment correct. Be ready to hide at a moments notice. -💬

Anonymous said: Omg I'm so excited to see what happens! You go Virgil!!!

@whatschooldoesntteachyou said: You gotta hide and quick! Get out of the room as soon as you can and hide where they'll never expect you to be. Go to a bin or disgusting place and find a weapon.

Anonymous said: Virgil, stick close to the walls! Be careful on the stairs

Anonymous said: Virgil, go find Patton and go talk to Thomas! Tell them what Roman and Logan have been doing to you!

He balked slightly at the idea of just laying out his vulnerabilities like that, but... that was sort of the plan, wasn’t it? Go up to Morality, tell him what happened, hope for the best? Oh, god, that was an awful plan.

“... Thanks for the advice.” 

[suppressedanxiety]

MV^I_*^%I_$</&">^>-#*YH>E>/;:JC*:>&<@^$>9W^_%%HRJ$=CY_^^$*#[=&<HDJ&W(%8E^>&&HFN×6>*K&$%;"@! I found this again! And I've binged it again! And I'm wondering how you're doing?

((clinical depression 💚))

[suppressedanxiety]

At least on mobile, the chronological tag starts you at the most recent so you've gotta scroll ages and then hit back and... understandably a masterlist is probably hard work, just FYI on the chrono tag

((i would not recommend viewing this blog on tumblr mobile lol))

[suppressedanxiety]

Hey creator, I think you should make a master post~ BlueCat

((hi there

there is a chronological link in the description of this blog. the posts are meant to be read chronologically, so making a masterpost with only some posts linked would be counterproductive. hope the chrono link helps!))

[suppressedanxiety]

What happened next?

Anonymous said: Is the story over?

@yourfreindlyneighborhoodnerd​ said: Will the story ever continue?

@yourfreindlyneighborhoodnerd​ said: What happens next?

Anonymous said: is this blog dead-

this blog is not dead! im just dealing with some stuff right now, which i mentioned on my main. next time, ill reblog that here earlier so you all know whats going on. 

im really sorry for the story delay, but this is free content and sometimes i just need time to sort myself out on focus on other projects/real life. apologies.

[suppressedanxiety]

Are you okay?

Anonymous said: Are you ok?

((not sure if this is addressed to the mod or virgil but im fine! just busy with finals and dealing with the recent COVID19 stuff. sorry for the lack of updates on this blog!))

[suppressedanxiety]

Lime I gotta tell you, the way u made Virgil escape was actually GENIUS. I had absolutely no clue and maybe I'm just sorta oblivious but STILL! that was actually super smart! Kudos to you :)

((aww, this is super sweet, thank you! im glad it wasn’t too confusing or implausible for you guys :P ive been waiting a while to write that scene!))

[suppressedanxiety]

theres probably space to slide or crawl under the door! come on virge you'r almost out!! then after that i suddgest to either pat or your room!

@kieraelieson said: Virgil, that’s genius!

Virgil snorted, beginning the trek across the room at as hurried a pace he could manage. “I’m no Logic, but when you spend enough time staring up at the thing keeping you trapped, you start to come up with solutions. The real challenge was finding an idea that wouldn’t fail right off the bat. Almost makes me pity Princey.” 

As he half-jogged past the desk, though, he found himself regretting his earlier stubborn inaction. He was hungry and his limbs were weak and aching. 

“Realizing I really shoulda used that bruise cream right about now,” he grunted, forcing himself to army crawl under the door despite his stinging bruises. 

Once he was out in the hall, he felt as though a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but after spending days trapped and vulnerable with giants who hated him, it was a relief to be free from any company. 

Of course, now he had to face another giant Side, but that was a problem for when he got there. Taking a deep breath, he headed for the top of the stairs, figuring that Patton was probably in the kitchen. If he wanted to really be sure about how Thomas was doing, he needed to hear it from Morality himself.

[suppressedanxiety]

Virgil, how are you planning on escaping?

Virgil dragged a hand over his brow, sweating from all the exertion. 

He’d spent the last half an hour hacking at the ceiling with a sword he’d borrowed from one of the suits of armor in the castle. It was dull, but firm enough to act as a giant thin hammer and break through the plaster ceiling. He’d slowly but surely carved a wide circle around the orange portal there, until the piece of ceiling came free and fell to the floor. 

He stuck his hand in it, peering over his shoulder to see his fingers waving from the blue moat. Good, it still worked properly. He hefted it up with trembling arms and quickly made his way to the edge of the castle grounds, staring at the hint of floor he could see past the moat. How was he planning to escape, you ask?

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m thinking with portals.” 

With that, he turned and began to spin like a discus thrower, letting the momentum of the block of plaster do half the work as he released it at the peak of his spin. 

The chunk of ceiling went flying over the moat, and hit the ground a moment later. Virgil immediately fell over, dizzy and out of breath, but he couldn’t help but let himself yell in victory. He could see the orange portal down below, thankfully unshattered, and the moment he stepped into the moat, he popped up from the orange portal and tumbled onto the floor. 

He had to take another moment to calm his spinning head, but it had worked. The carpet of Roman’s room stretched for miles around him. He was out! 

… What now?