
Andulka
Not today Justin
KIROKAZE

#extradirty
Today's Document
Mike Driver
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sade Olutola

titsay
ojovivo

PR's Tumblrdome

JVL
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

shark vs the universe

bliss lane

Love Begins
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Noah Kahan
Claire Keane
taylor price

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Türkiye

seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Spain

seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Iran
seen from Russia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from Venezuela
@sweet-like-the-ocean
sword bf 💜⚔️
has anyone asked this
to anyone who needs a hug right now, I've imbued this post with a hug. in other words after I wrote this post I hugged my phone for 5 minutes, so that energy should cover about 5,000 people
none | none | stick
none | stick | string
stick | none | string
run :)
WHAT THE HELL !
YOU CAN'T JUST FISHING POLE SOMEONE'S ASK BOX !!!!!!!
Is this loss?
NO IT'S FUCKING
An Incomplete List of the Animals my Grandpa brought home over the course of his 67-year marriage to Gandma:
Annabell, a solid white and completely deaf pit bull that used to let mom draw on her belly
The World’s Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned out to be the cuddiest teddy bear of an animal
Cocker spaniel named “Captain”
Stupid, the Cat
Litter of baby raccoons
Three more cats
A completely bald and extremely anxious canary that sang beautifully, but only at 4 AM
Baby Squirrel that grew up in the house and then refused to move out
A Genuine Thoroughbred Racehorse who was a spectacular athelete but had a habit of running races in the wrong direction. Benny turned out to be a terrific trail horse instead.
Turtle
Snapping Turtle
A bucket full of 43 goldfish left over from the fair. Mom counted once they were all in the bathtub in the backyard with the snapping turtle.
Another cocker spaniel named “Major”, who had the tremendous talent of eating green beans silently
Red-tailed hawk he found on the highway, and sucessfully nursed back to health and released.
Dummy, Son of Stupid
Strange, the dog that lived under the porch and only came into the house at night.
An “abandoned” baby deer.
Spooky, an alleged dog.
Joey the parakeet whose tricks were 1. drinking tea out of a tiny cup 2. threatening to peck out people’s eyes 3. wearing hats
A Really Big Toad he found behind the factory, because the other auto workers were discussing using it for target practice. Mr. Grumpity was guardian of the rosebed for several years and granny’s (his mother) favorite animal he ever brought home.
Gretchen, a St. Bernard that had to be shaved from her prior owner’s neglect, and spent a week hiding from sight with such success in the house that they thought she’d run away.
Arson, Burglary and Murder, three frankly adorable little kittens. They did not change the names, much to the regret of the cop who lived three doors down.
Yet another Cocker Spaniel, named “Colonel”
Cardinal (bird)
Canada Goose (Demon)
Once in the nursing home, he had a “pet” 12-point whitetail buck that would come to his window to be fed corn and get headskritches, inexplicably named “Florence”
The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn’t allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.
Questions from the Notes:
Your grandparents were Druids, right? They were a Steel Worker and Head Clerk at the local grocery store, respectively.
How does a Horse run races the Wrong way? Get near the finish line then make a U-turn becuase he wasn’t done running yet. He was also an excellent jumper and swimming horse. Much happier being a trail horse on Cleveland’s Emerald Belt.
How does a St. Bernard hide in a small suburban house? Clever use of the space behind the couches, under the sink and under beds. For a 110lb animal, Gretchen was also very quiet and knew to wait until the house was empty to move from hiding spaces or to snitch food off the counters. Once her coat grew back in she was willing to be visible again.
The Tarantula Didn’t come froma pet store, did it? You know that stereotype about Tarantuals hiding in Bananas? That used to be a real thing that happened when bananas started being regularly available in Postwar mass market grocery stores. Not very often, but it did. Grandma found the tarantula in a shipment of Bananas, and being the only non-arachnophobe working in the store, took her home and named her “Carmen Tarantula” after the famous brazilian singer. Geography was not Grandma’s strong point
Carmen Tarantula lived for 3 years and juding by the extremely blurry polaroid in the family albums, was probably a Brazilian Black.
What do you mean Spooky was an “Alleged Dog”? Well, for one thing, she Meowed.
Spooky was a 35lb delicate-limbed dog with owl-like pale green eyes and bat-like ears that was solid black save for a white patch on her chest in exactly the shape of Casper The friendly ghost, which was the only part of her visible when she would roam the halls at night, which is how she got the name.
Spooky was living in the house at the same time as Dummy, Son Of Stupid and another more Prototypical cat named Needles. Dummy would sometimes forget what he was doing and get lost in the house, causing him to mewl pathetically until one of the humans or animals found and escorted him back to more familiar settings. Typically, Needles would meow back at Dummy until she found him.
After three weeks in the house, Spooky could do an astonishingly good Cat’s Meow as well.
Spooky could also open doorknobs, get into the attic which didn’t even have a human entrance, would sit up like a human to eat her dinner or watch TV, and had a peculiar penchant for fishing. Grandpa and Uncle popeye would regularly take her on fishing trips becuase she’d gleefully dive into the lakes and finish bringing the catch in, whether it were lake trout or pike or in one case, a strugeon.
Spooky also LOVED tomatoes. More than anything else in the world. If given a choice between a ribeye and a tomato, Spooky would chose the tomato every time. This only applied to raw tomatoes though, she despised ketchup.
So while very much shaped like one, Spooky gave the distinct impression of something else dressed up as a dog. Whatever she was, she was a loving and beloved companion to the family for 16 years.
If you enjoyed this story, you can check out my #Family Lore tag on my blog, or you can pre-order copies of the Family Lore Book containing many more stories on my Patreon. I am disabled and telling stories online is my primary source of income so if you share these please link back and consider donating to my Ko-Fi or PayPal. Thank you all for your support!
DEFINITELY go read the tag. The stories are incredible! I would straight up read an entire book of them. Repeatedly.
And if you’ve got a buck to spare, drop it in that tip jar.
Appreciate your taletellers, folks. 😊
I’ve only seen this post in screenshots. My day has been made.
i, too, have only seen this post in screenshots….. and the lore about spooky has me thinking: “what if it was a spirit of the fae (or something of the like) who came and chilled with your grandparents bc they took in all the injured, unwanted, supposedly unlovable animals…?”
I’ve known Gallus was an amazing storyteller with a remarkable family for years, but this is the first time I’ve suspected an ancestral connection to Gerald Durrell.
Yet another epic. :)
I wondered why this was getting notes lol.
Some More animals from my mother’s childhood home:
Nickel and Dime, the bait fish that lived in a teapot
Susan, the rat snake
Susan 2 or “Twosan”, also a rat snake but may have also been the same rat snake but bigger.
The cats Smoke and Fire, so named because: 1. They were gray and orange, respectively 2. Fire was blind and navigated the house by following Smoke around, so literally, wherever there was Smoke, there’s Fire.
A Goldfinch that moved into the Canary’s cage after he passed away and it was put outside one day during housecleaning
A flying squirrel
After my Grandparents moved to a nursing home, Grandpa had a “pet deer” that was a wild whitetail buck who would come up to the window of their room for carrots and head skritches, despire everyone telling Grandpa NO!!
The Woodcock That Lived Under The Oak Tree. several attempts were made to name it but the next time it came up in conversation, everyone forgot what they had agreed to call it, so it became The Woodcock That Lives Under The Oak Tree.
Romaine, a frog they found in a head of lettuce
A Cow, briefly
Apparently Strange The Dog had puppies at some point and they managed to find homes for Weird, Odd, and Bizarre, but they decided to keep Queer, which was a real funny animal to stand in the street calling in for dinner.
At least 17 Bullfrogs, all named “Dog”
Skittles the Pony who had a penchant for swimming in the local lake and biting pieces out anyone who wasn’t paying enough attention.
Honorable Mention:
The first Dog my mom got was “Cops” a beautiful 120lb purebred German Shepherd who had flunked out of the police K9 academy.
Cops HAD been doing very well at Bite Training, except that being A Creature of Profound Intellect and Sound Philosophy, Cops had assumed that the purpose of biting was to get the guy who was shouting and behaving aggressively to stop. So the first time he was told to Chase Down A Fleeing Suspect (the guy in the bite suit, sprinting away) Cops correctly decided that the man screaming at him to bite someone who was actively leaving the confrontation must be the aggressor, and promptly bit his handler in the dick.
Being that he was entirely too morally upstanding for police work, Cops was surrendered to the local animal shelter as my mother arrived to adopt a dog.
She expressed an interest, was told why he washed out and “He’s got a mean streak a mile wide- A little lady like you wouldn’t be able to control him.”
My mother, 4'11 and the former Ohio State Weight Lifting Champion, looked down at this gentle soul and promptly scooped him up into her arms on his back like an infant, where he was thrilled to remain, tail wagging, for the rest of the adoption process.
Cops was my mother’s loyal guardian, and largely aloof to politely hostile to nearly every man my mother brought home, which tended to end romantic relationships. Until one night when she brought a former ESL teacher turned computer programmer she’d been seeing home for a drink and when she came back from the kitchen with the bottle of wine, Cops had climbed into the man’s lap on the couch and rolled on his back while the man goo-goo’d over him like an infant.
“That’s when I knew it was serious.” She told me, much later. “I hadn’t made up my mind about marriage at that point, but I knew I wanted children, and that I wanted him to be your father.”
—
I still make my living telling stories on the internet, so if you want to support my Ko-fi or Patreon, I’d be very grateful.
Found old photos of some of these!
This is my great grandmother with Spooky the alleged Dog and Dummy, son of Stupid.
This is also my great grandmother (mother of the man who kept bringing animals home) and one of her “pet birds” because she would just have wild birds from outdoors decide they wanted to be her friend and just. Land on her hands when she whistled for them.
And this is my Dad with Cops. You can see why his displeasure with Mom’s previous suitors tended to put a damper on romance.
This is a video of me taking my Adderall btw
Tumblr be like:
pick one and do it
take meds
drink water
touch grass
human interaction
make snack
take shower
brush teeth
go to sleep
log off tumblr.com
unclench your jaw
What happens if I pick one and don’t do it
you explode
what if i pick one that i’ve already done
Living in 2022 be like
Since you’ve abandoned me here, I’ve been hunted, haunted, and the target of an attempted murder.
Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams WEDNESDAY (2022) | 1.05, You Reap What You Woe
Never forget, if someone asks you an invasive question, you can always reply by asking them "do you think that's a normal thing to ask people?"
Do it in a super casual and cheery tone, like you were asking about their favourite food.
This is something you can, and actually SHOULD do, with a small change: Keep your tone neutral when you ask this, because in my experience, you get one of two responses:
-People who KNEW they were being rude will know you've caught them at it and will mumble excuses and shut up. You've shown them that behavior won't be rewarded, which is what really stops them, and hopefully they'll make better choices in the future. - but you will get some people who do genuinely think that that WAS a normal question to ask because THEY get asked that by their mom/boss/other authority figure asks them things like that all the time??? This person is being taken advantage of and needs help. You then explain, as gently as you can, "No. That's actually really personal and sensitive information most people don't talk about because X*, and it's extremely inappropriate of Authority Figure Z to ask that. You, and everyone else deserve privacy and information security." they'll go "oh. I didn't know that." or some close variation, and then you tell them "no harm, no foul, and I'm glad you know now." and then change the topic. You probably won't get a landmark "oh my god I had no idea I'm reevaluating my entire life" moment, but just hearing that "No, that's not normal and not okay" is enough to get the ball rolling in the right direction to protect themselves.
*X is here to explain generally why Privacy and information security is important. For instance, if they're asking questions about health and finance, you can explain that that's legally protected information to prevent fraud and in order to keep it safe, it HAS to stay secret.
deeply weird that you can realize "oh actually this socially constructed gender fits my internal identity better than the socially constructed gender I was assigned by default" and people will be like "no u can't do that, you've got the wrong organs"
bitch I am BARLEY USING THEM
Don’t take them for grainted.
That joke was pretty wheat
So so corny...
Let's hops we can do better
rebageling this post for everyone
Rye are we like this