Table-Top-Lo

a man must test his mettle, in the crooked ol' world!

[tabletoplo]

when everything in your life seems to be upside down, again, and you put on Shame looking for one scene but you end up watching a huge chunk of it and you tear up thinking that nothing has ever seemed so relevant and beautiful and horribly fucking real as the threesome scene where there’s a close up on Brandon’s face as he orgasms and feels nothing but emptiness. it’s almost like over a year has passed and i’m in the exact same fucking place.

[tabletoplo]

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 6/29 The Greek Theater

[tabletoplo]

I love her

[tabletoplo]

i wish it were the same as it is in my mind i'm lighter on my feet when i've left some things behind

[tabletoplo]

Merry Krimbus party people

[tabletoplo]

Happy Waits Day fuckos

[tabletoplo]

Sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up, chill the fuck out and listen to Townes Van Zandt - because he had shit figured out like 30 years ago...

[tabletoplo]

This is one of my favorite jokes and I feel like nobody got it.

[tabletoplo]

How I deal with bad news (apparently): Get drunk to the point of pissing the bed and then go into work and put on a fake smile

[tabletoplo]

Had the pleasure of seeing this last night. It had everything I liked about 20,000 Days on Earth but this time he seemed less pretentious and more personal then I think he has ever publicly been. As a fan, I have been trying to chip away at what makes his song writing slightly off kilter and learn more about him for years so this film was exhilarating to watch. It was beautiful and hopeful but devastatingly sad. There was something very interesting about how they highlighted that it was weird to film them in the studio space. You could see the tracks for the dolly that spins around him, you can see the crew, the focus is shallow and often blurs, there's moments where there are lots of people standing around for the shoot but nothing is actually happening, its not a music video but it feels voyeuristic and almost unwelcome. The new record is beautiful and I believe it to be a perfect companion to Push The Sky Away but (as the film points out) it is even more vulnerable and naked. His voice is shaky at times, his confident showmanship falls off and then comes back in. It's quite amazing in context to his career. I also believe that this would be an excellent introduction to him for someone who isn't a fan. Though, I prefer his melodic music to his heavy stuff. The trailer is fantastic: https://youtu.be/svru1jNLIK8 This clip is great: https://youtu.be/BAMZYpZi_M4 My opinions

[tabletoplo]

PJ Harvey performing River Anacostia at the Fonda 8/19/2016

All band members singing harmonies is effective as fuck

[tabletoplo]

PJ Harvey at the Fonda 8/19/2016

[tabletoplo]

Online dating be like

[tabletoplo]

I feel so bad for Phil Elverum, this is like the saddest thing ever

[tabletoplo]

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross - Juno

[tabletoplo]

The last few years I have written something on here on my birthday. It is usually pretty sad about how I'm in transition and blah blah blah. This year I feel good. I feel like shit is starting to come together, I'm back in LA, my brother's wife is having a baby soon, i'm around lots of friends and some family too, work is coming together, my cat is still killing it, I actually feel good. It's the first time I've felt positive on my birthday for the past 4 years.

[tabletoplo]

Stream of consciousness

I've been quiet on here. Life is weird. Stressful things keep happening involving people in my life. Like big things. There is a new Swans record that leaked. It's pretty good. I saw a dead dog in the street and it kinda fucked me up. I've been drinking a lot. My cat is still restless. I feel like I will forever be in this "transition" phase. I've come to some pretty heavy realizations this month and especially this week. I had an idea of making like a comic or zine or something. Something creative because music obviously isn't happening right now. I probably won't stick to it. With very few exceptions I have come to find that most of the sex I have had has been meaningless sex. Is this true for most people? What does that mean? Trump supporters, as a concept, scare the shit out of me. I talk too much to people I care about and not at all to people I don't. I'm starting to feel like a burden for this. Am I that person who you don't wanna answer the phone with because they will talk your ear off? I have felt that way for quite some time with my brother, but it is starting to bleed over. How can someone be self loathing and pretentious at the same time? How much does it take to cut someone out of your life? What do you do if that person is someone you can't? What happens when I can't hide it anymore? Trying to stay positive. The world is your oyster, or whatever the fuck.