August 26th
I haven’t written in a diary in years, but I figure that I might as well give it a shot. Some people say that keeping one of these things is better than therapy, so I guess I’ll find out.
My name is Yvonne and I’m a second year at Harvard. I don’t know what my major is yet, but I’m leaning towards government. Definitely not business. Uncle Kendall was a business major and look how that turned out?
Since I mentioned him, I might as well talk about my family. Mom is Siobhan Roy although she goes by Shiv. Yes, our names rhyme. Yes, she’s one of those Roys. The less said about her the better.
Anyway, Mom has three older brothers. There’s Uncle Connor who is this weirdo that keeps running for president and failing miserably at it. Then there’s Uncle Kendall who I actually. He lives in Montauk, plays the cello and the stock market, and has music festival as well as a record label. He’s married and has two girls that are way younger than me. Finally, there’s Uncle Roman or Rome who has a movie production company out in California. They mostly do superhero movies these days, but they’ve had some other features that have made him a shit ton of money.
Dad is Tom Wambsgans. He comes from Minneapolis and climbed (clawed?) his way to the top. He was the American CEO for Waystar-Gojo for a few year and then went off to work for one of ATN’s rivals after he was sacked. He’s fun when he’s around, but that’s pretty rare.
Finally, there’s Cousin Greg. He’s a few years younger than Mom, but he’s my cousin. He and Dad have worked together for years and they have an odd partnership that reminds of me Laurel and Hardy. He’s married to a real life princess, Cousin Maria Louisa, and they have a daughter named Anya.
Anya is everything that I’m not. She socializes easily and has a lot of friends. She can drink as much as she wants and still passes her exams the next day. She’s a sophomore at Vassar and we’ve been rivals since childhood. Enough said about that.
Anyway, that’s my family. As Mom likes to joke, we put the fun in dysfunctional.
All right. I have to crack open this biochemistry book before I fall asleep here. See you whenever I see you.