whY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT WALKING FELT LIKE THISSS
IM BORDERLINE ABOUT TO CRY
I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO WALK THIS NORMALLY IN YEARSSSSSS
WTFF
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whY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT WALKING FELT LIKE THISSS
IM BORDERLINE ABOUT TO CRY
I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO WALK THIS NORMALLY IN YEARSSSSSS
WTFF
nectar @ smtown live 2022 in tokyo
I'M REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW! A NEW SPONGEBOB GAME GOT ANNOUNCED AND I'M FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE AGAIN WHO I THOUGHT I SCREWED OVER OUR FRIENDSHIP WITH
0109. Largo.
Saturday, 7 March 2015
FIC PAGE | CHAPTER SYMPHONY | WORD COUNT: 6k
NB: explicit language
“Have you guys heard the rumour going around about Harry?” Becky asked as she sat eating her cereal in the kitchen one Saturday morning.
“No.” Ian frowned, looking at Tiana who stood by the fridge and looked equally as confused as him. “What rumour?”
“Finger fucked someone in the women’s loos at The Grand.” Becky explained, eating her cereal and looking annoyed. “When we went out for his birthday.”
“Shut up.” Tiana said. “You’re taking the piss.”
Y/N suddenly stopped moving a bit where she stood cutting up a cucumber for her sandwich.
“Where did you hear this?” Ian asked. “Because I would assume he’d brag about it if he did. He’s a lad after all.”
“He’s not laddish.” Tiana rolled her eyes.
“Sure is.”
“You’re a terrible judge of person, Ian.” Tiana said. “Harry’s no Jack the lad.” She glanced at Becky, ignoring Ian as he started to protest. “Where’d you hear this rumour? It sounds absolutely ridiculous.”
“Some girls in one of me lectures.” Becky put her spoon down in the bowl, reaching her arms over her head and stretching. “Reckon she’s a slag. A fucking minger for sure.”
“How do they know Harry?” Tiana looked over at Y/N as she started washing her cutting board and knife. “He’s not that popular, is he?”
Becky raised her eyebrows, smiling a little. “He’s not exactly bad looking, is he? Everyone knows who the fit European Legal Studies bloke is.”
“How? I would never have noticed Harry had he not been in flat 8.” Tiana opened the fridge and got her carton of milk out, screwing the lid off. “He cannot be that popular.”
“He’s fit, Tiana, and that’s it. People remember a pretty face.” Becky sighed, letting her arms fall to rest on the kitchen table. “How I wish it was me had had finger fucked in the bathroom stall at The Grand.”
“Do you know who it was?” Ian enquired.
In that moment, Tiana looked over at Y/N who took a bite of her sandwich, eyes quickly adverted as she knew the second they looked at each other Tiana would know. Everything seemed to click into place, because her eyes grew wide and she almost spat out her mouthful of milk. She put the milk back in the fridge and walked over to Y/N who made sure to give Becky and Ian a look, both in deep conversation, before Tiana reached her.
“You’re fucking joking.” Tiana whispered. “You’ve got to be bloody joking.”
“What did I say?” Y/N asked after swallowing the bite of her sandwich.
Tiana looked over at Ian and Becky before she nodded toward the door leading out of the kitchen. Y/N got the memo, and walked toward it, holding the plate with her sandwich to her chest the entire time. Right behind her the whole way, Tiana locked the door into Y/N’s room once they reached it and squealed. She jumped up and down over to Y/N, who was watching her friend with big eyes and a confused mind. Tiana took the sandwich and placed it on Y/N’s desk before taking a grip of her shoulders.
“Did Harry finger you in that bathroom stall? Was that why you both left the toilets just as different times?”
Y/N’s mouth hung open, no coherent words coming to mind as Tiana put words to what had happened in the bathroom stall at The Grand early February. With huge brown eyes, Tiana took in every movement Y/N made and hung onto the slight puffs of air leaving her lips as if they could help her decipher anything. Letting a heavy breath leave her lips, Y/N looked at her sandwich, but Tiana shook her.
“Silence speaks louder than words!”
“Ti, don’t… don’t tell anyone.”
“Who would I tell?” Tiana asked clapping her hands together after letting go of Y/N’s shoulders. “I don’t tell anyone anything except for you. I’m just so ecstatic!”
“Why?”
“Because Harry bloody Styles fingered you in a bathroom stall at The Grand!” Tiana shout whispered, looking absolutely outraged that she had to spell it out for Y/N at all. “And you fancy him so much, just like he fancies you, and I think this is huge.”
Y/N sat own in the chair by her desk. “I’m just scared.”
Tiana frowned, sitting down in Y/N’s bed. “Why are you?”
“Because it’s too good to be true.” She answered. “Harry is too good to be true, him fancying me back is too good to be true, everything-“ She stopped herself, sighing. “This whole situation with Harry is too good to be true. I don’t know what… I don’t know what to think.”
“Y/N, it’s not.” Tiana shook her head. “You deserve good things, and Harry is one of them.”
Their eyes met and Tiana was smiling, something that eased the turmoil in Y/N’s head a little. It was good looking at her best friend, because seeing her happy made everything seem a little less intimidating and the world a little more balanced. Reaching over, Tiana took Y/N’s hands and held them tight, demanding Y/N to look at her as she spoke her next words.
“You’re only doubting what you have because… I don’t know why…” Tiana frowned a little, face turning sad. “Why are you?”
Y/N looked away, shaking her head and dragging her hands out of Tiana’s grip. “I… It’s…” She closed her eyes as she spoke. “I’ve been hurt before, I guess.”
“You guess?”
Y/N kept quiet.
“Y/N, you can talk to me.”
“I know.” She opened her eyes, nodding as she locked eyes with her best friend again. “I know, Ti.”
Tiana looked at her hands that had moments earlier been holding Y/N’s. “If I had to choose someone on this earth I’d never want to see hurting, it’s you. And whenever you want to talk I’m here, in a heartbeat. You’re one of the most important people in my life, yea?”
Y/N smiled a little. “Likewise.”
“Don’t shut things in.” Tiana warned. “Don’t do it. Because all things you keep pent up inside has a way of getting out eventually. You’ll burst if you don’t get things off your chest, Y/N.”
Y/N nodded, knowing this full well.
“And I don’t want to see that happening. Not to you.”
Y/N leaned forward and hugged Tiana, holding her tight until she hugged her right back. It was a comfort to have her close, to be held by her like having her arms around her made the world seem a little easier to conquer. Y/N tried not to think much about what had caused this conversation, the event in her own life that made her question everyone’s intentions. So, balling Tiana’s shirt into her hands, Y/N held onto her best friend for dear life as she tried to understand how she herself was feeling about this whole situation. She could never put words to it.
Tiana walked back to the kitchen after a little while, and Y/N was left with her sandwich. Whipping out her phone, she called Edward on FaceTime, feeling incredibly deprived of time spent with her brother and favourite person in the entire world. He answered fast, grinning at his phone screen as he appeared, waving his hand frantically at her.
“Hiya Maverick!” Y/N smiled. “Alright?”
“I’m good, Goose.” Edward smiled back. “What’re you up to?”
She showed him the plate with her sandwich.
“Looks rank.”
“For your information, it’s not.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Anyway, how’s your day?”
“Boring.” Edward leaned back in his chair, the necklace resting on his chest glinting in the sun shining in through his bedroom window. “Dad’s out with the trees and mum’s in town I think. While I’m left in my room looking out my window.”
“Sorry I’m not home keeping you company, mate.” Y/N said, sticking her bottom lip out. “I’ll be home in a couple of days, though. For my birthday.”
“Yea.” Edward smiled. “Only four days now. And yes, I’m counting down the days. It’s boring here without you, you know that.”
Y/N felt suddenly guilty for leaving her brother behind when she went to university. He had said he would be fine with her living in London, had even encouraged it, but she knew he didn’t have many friends in college, and would often only hang out with Y/N because that’s when he had the most fun. Edward had made it obvious that he wanted Y/N to experience the world without feeling like she had to bring him along, and moving to London to study felt like a big, yet small, step. It wasn’t too far away from Hawkley, but far enough that she couldn’t go home every weekend.
For her birthday however, Y/N was going home to her brother and family. They had been ecstatic when she had shared with them the news of her coming home for a bit, and now that it was only a few days away she felt herself looking forward to her birthday, something she rarely did. Y/N hated the attention her birthday gave her, and knew spending it at uni would overwhelm her, so going home seemed like the best option. She knew Tiana would make a big deal out of it, so would Finn and Ian, and if she ever told Harry, then he might, too. It wasn’t a special day in her eyes. She was born on that day and was thankful her mother had given birth to her, but it didn’t go beyond that. Her family knew Y/N wasn’t too keen on her birthday and had always made her a cake, given her some gifts, and not made a big deal out of it. So, she was looking forward to coming back home, sitting down in her little boat in the lake by her house, reading a book and being by herself. And of course watching Top Gun with her Edward, something they always did together, but it was tradition t watch it on each of their birthdays. Edward’s was May 20th, and the two would always watch it as the sun went down, the door into the back garden open, the almost-summer sun shining in on the telly, and the smell of newly cut grass in the air. The thought made Y/N’s heart sing.
“Look at this.” Edward said, putting his phone in his lap as he rolled himself over to his wall. Picking his phone back up, he turned his camera around so Y/N could see his new painting. It was one of the many landscapes ones, this one of the row of Christmas trees behind the farm. Different shades of green and thin lines of black to indicate where one tree ended and another one started. Her brother had always had a talented for drawing, painting, and making things with his hand. He was incredibly artistic, and his ability to create something visual like he did had always impressed Y/N.
“Beautiful, Eddie.”
“Not my best, but something I painted to pass my time yesterday. You can bring it back to uni if you want.” He turned the camera back to his face. “So you remember how dull Hawkley really is.”
Y/N huffed. “Hawkley isn’t dull. Miss it quite a lot, actually.”
“Really?” Edward scrunched his nose, clearly not believing his sister the slightest. “You miss living in the middle of nowhere? Miss helping dad out at all times?”
“You know I love helping dad!” Y/N smiled. “You trying to make me remember things we used to hate about Hawkley won’t make me not look forward to coming home. Absolutely buzzing for it.”
“I just assumed you were smart.” Edward shrugged. “Guess you’ve lost some brain cells going to uni. Must be all the weed you’re smoking.”
“Stop!” Y/N laughed. “You know I’m not smoking anything, you knob.”
“Can’t be completely certain.” Edward said. “You’ve changed.”
“What?” Y/N frowned. “Have not.”
“Not in a bad way.” Edward clarified, a smile breaking out across his lips. “You’ve just changed. In the best way. You’re still Goose, but a more independent and freer one.”
Y/N smiled a little, surprised by her brother’s uttering.
“You’re still the shyest person I know, but you’re coming out of your shell.”
“I should be saying this to you, not the other way around.” Y/N said, making Edward chuckle. “You’re my little brother and you’re giving me a motivational speech?”
“Well, who else is going to tell you that you’re changing? No one knows you as well as I do, admit it.”
“Alright.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Keep praising me.”
Edward laughed. “Shut up or I’ll never give you a compliment ever again.”
“How sad.”
Just then there came a loud knocking from Y/N’s door, and then Tiana shouting her name. Looking back on the screen at Edward who seemed a little taken aback by the sudden commotion, Y/N cocked her head to the side.
“I’ll call you in a bit? Just need to know what Tiana’s on about.”
“Sound.” Edward nodded. “Bye, Goose.”
“Bye, Maverick.”
Hanging up, Y/N put her phone away on her desk before she rose and opened the door for Tiana who took a hold of her wrist. She dragged her to her room and over to her laptop, Annie sitting on Tiana’s bed and Teresa on FaceTime on her MacBook. On the screen was an e-mail, and judging by the tight grip Tiana had of Y/N’s wrist, it was quite an important one.
“’Dear Tiana’,” said person read out loud. “’I am happy to inform you the landlord of the four-bedroom property 9 Alfriston Road, Clapham has accepted your application. You are now ready to make your admin fees and part deposit payments’.”
Y/N looked over at Tiana with wide eyes and a mouth agape. Her friend was only nodding back, bouncing back and forth on her feet with a squeal bubbling up from somewhere far down her throat. Y/N looked back, reading through the entire e-mail as all her other future flatmates were watching her. She smiled, looking at Teresa on the screen who was smiling, then Annie on the bed doing the same, and at Tiana who was clapping.
“We have a house for next year!”
“Oh, my God.” Y/N said, looking at the e-mail. “We have a house.”
“We just need to sign a contract, pay, and then show them some identification, then we’re ready to move in next year!”
“I can’t believe we got a house.” Y/N said. “And right by Clapham Common as well!”
“I know!” Tiana beamed. “It was the last one we looked at last week, remember? The one with three bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs?”
“The one with the small back garden and a bath?”
“Yes, bitch!” Tiana took the MacBook up from her desk, motioning for Y/N and Annie to get up. “Group hug!”
And with laughter in the air and arms slung around the others, all the girls felt an immense relief. Finally, they had someplace to live next year. Finally, they didn’t have to wonder what would happen if they didn’t find somewhere. Finally, they could stop worrying and start looking forward to a new year living together. The first thing Y/N told Edward when they FaceTimed again later was that her and the rest of her new flat had found somewhere to live next year, and once her father heard that, he broke down crying.
“Cannot believe my little poppet is moving into an actual house and has got to pay actual bills.” He sniffled. “Beyond happy for you.”
Tuesday, 17 March 2015
Harry What’re you up to today?
Y/N smiled.
Y/N Rehearsing some violin on campus. Why?
Harry Oh. Was just wondering if you wanted to chill or do summat, but don’t want to interrupt you rehearsing. Rain check?
For some reason, the fact that Harry so easily gave up made Y/N’s heart sink a little. She didn’t want him to just give in, she wanted to spend time with him, and if that meant less rehearsing and more Harry then so be it. So, Y/N did something she hadn’t really done before: took the initiative.
Y/N You could come chill in the room with me if you want.
Harry Really? Wouldn’t be a bad distraction?
Y/N I’m inviting you, am I not?
Harry Wicked.
Y/N smiled, looking at her violin in its case.
Harry Wait, where are you on campus?
Some days earlier, Y/N had reserved a study room for herself. Music students had specialised study room, soundproof ones that Y/N had never tried before. Though she had been a bit nervous about not finding it or using the wrong one, she had finally reached her study room, and planned on staying there for two hours. She had only been there for 30 minutes when Harry sent that text message, and though she knew she wouldn’t get much done with Harry there, she told him which number study room she was in and where to walk in the Antonin Artaud Building to get there.
While waiting for him, Y/N played Beauty and the Beast, one of the songs her and Teresa would be performing together. Closing her eyes, Y/N drifted off somewhere as she played, imagining Teresa’s voice flowing along with her notes and the magic they would create together. It didn’t take long for a knock to sound at the door, and when Y/N opened the door, Harry stood there with wide eyes.
“Hi.” He said, an instant smile on his face. “Alright?”
Y/N stepped aside and Harry walked inside, taking his coat off and putting it on the sofa. He was wearing his dark red turtleneck again, tucked into a pair of grey trousers. Right away, Y/N noticed how he wasn’t wearing his glasses. She loved it when he wore his glasses. He sat down in the sofa, letting go of a huge sigh as he settled himself in.
“Pretend like I’m not here.” He said, taking his phone out of his coat pocket. “Not about to ruin your rehearsing.”
Y/N giggled, walking over to the table where she had put her notes and her violin.
“But one question.” Harry said, sitting forth and resting his elbows on his knees as he looked up at her. Y/N glanced over her shoulder. Harry smiled. “How’s your day been?”
Y/N smiled, blushing slightly. “Decent, yours?”
“Decent.” Harry watched as Y/N got the violin out of the case. “Bloody majestic.”
Y/N knew that if she even dared look at Harry then, she would melt, because the mere way those two words left his lips – like warm breath meeting her freezing cheeks on a cold winter’s day – made her entire body tingle.
“You said you wouldn’t distract me.” She knew that if she answered him, he would say something back, and then they would be having a conversation. And she needed to rehearse. And not get distracted.
“Right.” He sat back, smiling a little as he turned his phone on. “Won’t say another word. Promise.”
“Doubt that.”
Harry glanced up at her again. “Oi, what you mean about that?”
“Just that you’re talkative.”
Harry huffed. “And that’s a bad trait? Quite like that part of my personality, thank you.”
“No talking!”
“Fine!”
The two laughed, and Y/N looked down at her music stand, reading the notes before placing her violin on her shoulder and raising the bow. Taking one glance at Harry to make sure he was actually keeping to himself and not watching her, Y/N started playing. The Elvis song she had found the notes to online floated into the air around her, and her entire body felt light. Creating music felt empowering, like being part of something bigger than oneself. It wasn’t words; it wasn’t a pronouncement; it wasn’t human. It was feelings; putting a sound to a feeling, to an emotion and way of being. It was magic in a sense. Because it was impossible to put words to everything, but with music you didn’t have to. Hearing a melody made you feel more than thousands of words ever could; a melody could hold more emotion than a single human could feel in an entire lifetime. As Y/N made a world of her own, a world where only herself and the music she was making was of existence, time and space evaporated from all around. A sky drifted across the blue morning sky and around the globe until it was no more, and that was how Y/N felt when playing her violin. She was floating, flying over the globe and the humans that inhabited it.
“Is that Suspicious Minds?”
Y/N stopped playing, opening her eyes to look at him.
“Shit, didn’t mean to interrupt you. Sorry.” Harry motioned zipping his lips shut and throwing the key away, going back to looking down at his phone.
“Yea.” Y/N nodded. “Elvis fan?”
He glanced at her again, eyebrows raised as he was a little shocked she wanted to talk and not rehearse. “Yea.” Harry said. “Favourite artist of all time.”
“What’s your favourite song?”
“By Elvis?”
Y/N smiled. “Of all time.”
“All the Way by Frank Sinatra.”
Y/N sat down in the office chair, tuning her violin as she nodded. “You like-“
“-No, wait.” Harry turned his phone off. “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by The Platters. Fucking tune.”
“I’ve never heard that one.”
“No?”
“Nope.”
“You’ll have to listen to it one time then.” Harry said, smiling as he watched her. “It’s magical.”
Y/N smiled, looking at her notes.
“How do you…” Harry glanced at the violin. “How do you play the violin?”
She looked over at him, feeling like someone squeezed her heart in the best way possible when she caught him actually looking intrigued by the instrument of her dreams. Biting her lip, she got her bow, and rolled her chair over to the sofa where Harry sat. He watched her, trying not to smile as widely as he seemed to want to. Y/N placed it on her shoulder and watched as Harry studied her every move, his gaze hot against her skin.
“Is it hard?”
“What?”
“Playing the violin.” Harry was almost whispering, as if talking to loudly in close proximity to the instrument would tarnish it in some way.
“Want to hold her?”
Their eyes met. “Her?”
“Yea. I call my violin a her. She’s my baby.”
Harry let out a single chuckle as Y/N removed her instrument from her shoulder.
“Want to?”
“Hold her?”
“Only if you trust me enough to.” Harry said, face turning serious. “I don’t want to hold her if you don’t like anyone else doing so, or something of the sort.”
“I trust you not to throw her across the room and ruin her.” Y/N said and Harry laughed. She motioned for him to hold his hands out so she could place the violin in his hands. Once he did, and their hands met for a single second, she felt just how cold his were. He had just walked here after all, but no matter how cold his hands were, his skin meeting hers still felt like hot electricity started flowing from the exact spot they had made contact.
Y/N cleared her throat, touching Harry making her a little dizzy. “Ehm, there’s… there’s no set way to hold the violin.” She looked up into his eyes, his already intent and on her. “This is just my way of doing it. Holding a violin is much like driving a car; there’s no exact way of doing it, just the general rules, but everyone has their own way of driving a car, just like everyone has their own way of holding their violin.”
Harry nodded, his green eyes wide with interest.
“You want to place it on our shoulder like this.” Y/N guided it down to his shoulder. “And rest your chin on the chin rest, as that’s what it’s there for.”
Harry leaned his jaw on the chin rest.
Y/N shook her head. Gently, she took a grip of the other side of his jaw, tilting his head till his chin was on the chin rest. “Want to be looking at the violin a you’re playing. The music stand and sheet will be there in that direction.”
“Hmm.” Harry mumbled, eyes closing for a long second, vibrating through Y/N’s finger still resting on his jaw. His skin was very soft there, Y/N realised, and he didn’t have that slight stubble he would sometimes have. He must’ve recently shaved. She drew her hand back, not allowing herself to let her mind wander.
“And that’s how you hold the violin. Of course, you’ll have different positions and all that, but you hold the neck very lightly as you need to change notes and stuff.”
Harry was eerily quiet as he sat holding the violin.
Y/N cleared her throat, deciding not to think too much into it. “Then the bow.” She held it out for him, and he took it with his right hand. “The wood of the bow is this,” Y/N pointed to the part Harry was holding carefully, sitting forward in her chair as he was holding it up to his face. She let her finger trace the wood, avoiding Harry’s fingers. “And underneath you’ve got the hair. Try not to touch the hair at all, because all the dirt, grease, and oils you have on your hands can easily be transferred to the hair and it can stop the hair absorbing the rosin we put on the bow, which helps the bow grip onto the strings-“
Right over the bow, Harry’s eyes were staring at Y/N with so much concentration and intrigue that it made her gasp a little. They sat there like that for a little while, just staring at the other. The bow hanging in the air between them and the quietness of the room deafening. Slowly Harry removed the bow from where it was, carefully putting it down on his coat before he looked back at Y/N. It took Y/N a bit off guard when his free hand reached for her face, thumb stroking down her cheek delicately as if she would break if he didn’t treat her with care. They were so close, the air hot with electricity around them. As Harry’s hand travelled down her neck and to the back of it, taking a light grip and guiding her forward to him, Y/N put wasn’t able to take her eyes off him. Neither of them closed their eyes until their lips met. Neither of them took a breath until their lips met. Neither of them could believe it had taken them this long to finally kiss. Because oh my God, Y/N thought, did it feel good kissing Harry. Every cell in her body was dancing, her heart was flying wildly inside her chest, and all blood rushed through her veins.
She was leaning forward to the point of almost falling out of her chair, so she let her hands rest on his thigh, to which Harry drew in a sharp breath. Their lips detached, only for Harry to tip his head a little to the side, gaining better access. This time, he was gentle as he slipped his tongue in ever so slightly, not wanting to overwhelm her in the slightest. Y/N only breathed heavily in response, and Harry squeezed the back of her neck. In return, she squeezed his thighs and Harry trembled a little, kissing her harder.
“Wait.” He mumbled into her mouth.
He got up, making Y/N draw back. Taking the bow, Harry walked over to the violin case and put the violin and bow neatly into their places before he came back.
“Come sit in my lap, darling.”
Y/N got up, and as she put both of her knees on either side of his hips, hands landing on his shoulders, she was reminded of the bathroom stall at The Grand. Harry seemed to be thinking the same thing, because he smiled as he kissed her again, hands resting at her knees. As their tongues tangled and lips locked and detached, Harry’s hands travelled up her thighs. Slowly he made his way up to her bum, where he let them rest for only a few seconds before placing both his hands on her hips to hold her. It was intoxicating to have Harry touch her like this, as if she had been drinking a whole bottle of wine, but she had only tasted his tongue and the moment they were sharing right now. She let her hands trail down his front, loving it when Harry slid his tongue over her bottom lip quickly before he kissed her again. Her hands stopped as she reached his navel, fingertips resting there as Harry whimpered under her. A low moan entered her mouth, and she was sure nothing she had ever tasted before could compare to it.
“Jesus.” Harry said, breathing heavily. “Know how to get a bloke at your complete surrender, don’t you?”
“Not really.”
“Well,” Harry chuckled. “I’m at yours, Y/N Picot. I’ve quite literally surrendered myself to you. Completely.”
Y/N couldn’t help her smile.
“Love to taste that,” Harry whispered, rubbing his nose once against hers. “Your happiness.”
Y/N smiled even wider, feeling herself giggle against his lips.
“Kiss me.” Harry breathed. “Always kiss me. And never stop.”
Wednesday, 25 March 2015
The sky overhead was a light orange, outlined with a pretty purple that made the darkening evening sky look like the creation of a marble. Y/N walked in the decent temperature with a dungaree Y/Net, hands in its pockets and her head raised high. Even London seemed to be relaxed, the bustling of people and cars that used to be along the Albert Bridge Road, Battersea Park, and Battersea University, weren’t as overwhelming as they usually were. Y/N made her way across the street, looking down on her phone at the text from Archie Poole.
Archie Meet you outside Gaskell Building. Xxxx
Y/N had been to the LGBTQ+ Society meetings before – maybe two – and each time she was looking more and more forward to going. The whole gang was so nice, welcoming her with open arms whenever she decided to show up. She found herself rather at home with the lot, there was a peace about them that felt like closing her eyes and drifting off into a deep and harmonious slumber. They held a security she had never before experienced with anyone. Before each meeting she had met with Archie beforehand so they could walk inside together. He was the only one she knew by name yet, though she was slowly but surely getting to know all of them. It was good distraction from uni, because as Y/N entered that room Y/N knew she was amongst people who wouldn’t judge her about anything. She was amongst people who knew her biggest secret; the part of herself she had yet to fully accept and tell the world about. And because of this, it felt incredibly good walking to campus that afternoon, knowing she’d meet with these people again.
As she crossed the street, walking up to the gravel walkway leading down to the university, Y/N heard voices further down the street. Thinking nothing of it as there were always loads of people out and about at all hours in London, she continued on her way, humming along to the piece she was learning for her and Teresa’s first set. Rounding the corner, on her way down the path to uni, she was suddenly stopped.
“Y/N!”
She looked over her shoulder, heart racing a bit. There was Becky, waving at her and giving her one of those smiles Y/N could never decide was fake or genuine. With her was El, Blessing and a group of other people Y/N didn’t know the name of. She assumed they were from Becky’s course, or someone El and Blessing knew. Regardless, they were walking in her direction. Her eyes flicked to the Gaskell Building where she saw Archie already waiting, looking down on his phone.
“Hi!” Becky said, still smiling.
“Hi.” Y/N did a once over of all her friends, giving them a small smile before meeting Becky’s eyes again.
“What’re you doing at uni this late?” Becky asked. Y/N noticed how her flatmate’s smile grew wider.
“Heading to the library.” She said. For some reason Y/N felt her heart racing, a small panic rising in her chest as if something was about to go very wrong.
Becky looked at Y/N’s shoulder real quick. “You don’t have your rucksack with you.”
That feeling of something about to head south intensified, because as Becky’s eyes went from Y/N’s shoulders and to her eyes again, she saw something in her eyes that made her stomach turn. “No, I-I’m getting a book.” Y/N said, shoving her hands into her Y/Net pockets. The whole group behind Becky was studying her, taking in her outfit and the careful way she held herself. They must’ve noticed along with Becky that something was off; that Y/N was lying.
Becky cocked her head a little to the side, the frown on her face a fake type of concerned. “And you’re just going to carry it back to the flat? Why not bring something to put it in?”
Y/N felt like throwing up. Becky knew what Y/N was doing there. There was no way Y/N was going to the library wearing normal wear, as it would just be stupid to get dressed up to go loan a book. The only event going on at uni right then was the one Y/N was actually going to. And no one but Y/N and the LGBTQ+ Society knew.
“Y/N!”
She looked over at the Gaskell Building where Archie stood, walking over now. Becky glanced at him, taking him in and quickly recognising him. Archie had stood by the booth at the Freshers Fayre, talking about the LGBTQ+ Society, and Becky had no doubt walked by and caught his face and cause. As he approached, Becky gave him that smile again before looking at Y/N.
“I’ll see you at the flat once you’ve loaned that book, yea?” Becky walked off with that, talking with her friends as she went.
Immediately, Y/N walked in Archie’s direction. Her heart was in her throat, panic prickling along every inch of her skin, tickling her. She felt like scratching all layers off herself till she was no more, till the only thing that was left was her bones. Her bones where she couldn’t hurt in any other way than physical; where she didn’t feel panic; where she didn’t feel the overwhelming need to run far away from Battersea and Becky and everything that made her feet yearn to escape.
“You alright?” Archie asked as they met, voice as feathery light as it always was. “What’re you running for, darl?”
Y/N looked at Becky and her friends who had disappeared from view, when she stared back at Archie, she didn’t know how to properly form words anymore. She was scared, shaken up, and unable to tell him that she wanted to go back home to Hawkley where nothing and no one could find her if she hid away in her boat by the lake.
“What’s up?”
Y/N inhaled sharply. “I…”
Archie nodded, urging her on.
“I’m…” Y/N swallowed, wrapping her Y/Net around herself. “I don’t want them to know.”
Archie knew what Y/N was saying, and his expression softened.
“I’m not ready for them… for her… to know.”
“They don’t.” Archie reassured her. “It’s okay, Y/N. They don’t know unless you want them to.”
But Y/N knew that wasn’t true. She bit her lip, feeling like her world was about to fall into a million tiny pieces she would have a very hard time finding and properly put back together.
TAGLIST
@swayingnoodlelove @littlestyles @showk1ndness @sydneysuit @hallwayharry @emotionally-imbruised @fuckyeahimahobbit @beksjewels @harryisadogperson @harryrocksagoodsuit @ifiwereaboy2323 @tiostyles @maroonmolly @harrysroguecurl @awomanindeniall @justsaying20 @ot4narrie @miss-nxvxcaine @sunflowersandrockstars @hard-on-harry @emma070900 @shitibitmytonge @always-jackedup @rainbowbutterflyboy @shegotthesalt @harrytreatspeoplewithkindnesss @mleestiles @bloodcastle30155 @harryskiwi2 @brielyse11 @for-fucks-sake-h @treat-harry-with-love @permanentllyharry @flooome @harryfeatcalum @harrystrugglestache @hydra-barnes @violets-parma @shadowsndaisies @messyherz @dancinglikeamadpersoninthedark @kakaym @loveandyourstrulyh @onedirectionhoe @yes-daddy-i-willl @itsnoneofyourbusiness94 @bbyfacestyles @stylisthazel @givemesomemore @thelux47 @its-all-about-harrystyles
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are you trying to reblog ALL of the Ink Demonth things people do?? Because thats going to be a lot!
pffft
“trying”
I AM AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME
Hey are you still doing playlists?? If so that's really cool and have you done a knight of blood playlist yet? If not, keep on being awesome and cute like you always are! ;)
1. Savages by Marina and the Diamonds
2. Built For This Time by Zayde Wolf
3. Your Love Could Start a War by The Unlikely Candidates
4. Pompeii by Bastille
5. Young Blood by Sun Culture
少年威计划
sooo 3 days until dream plan :DDDDDDD







