Jun 21, 2018
Nyah, na, na hey nanaaaaaaaaa!
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Nyah, na, na hey nanaaaaaaaaa!
The Pants
(a very short modern AU inspired by the real life events of the Norwegian curling team)
“Anna,” Elsa whispered over her shoulder at her sister, “I can’t believe I am going to hold a press conference on pants.”
Both the Queen and the Princess were waiting near Arendelle’s makeshift press center outside of the curling rink in PyeongChang. Aggie, Elsa’s aide and de facto press secretary, was “warming up” the crowd as she put it. However despite the international press’ fondness for the open, enthusiastic Princess of Arendelle and her breathtakingly beautiful sister, warming up anything here would be quite a chore.
It was cold, really cold, despite the clear sunny day, and Anna was rubbing her mittened hands together and bouncing on her toes, even though she was well wrapped in layers of ski apparel and sporting purple earmuffs with a gold crocus embroidered on each ear. Elsa’s concession to the weather, or at least to the barest appearance of normalcy in the face of the weather, was a long sleeve jacket and dress pants.
“They love the pants,” Anna gestured at the gaggle of reporters hip checking each other to get a better position near the podium. “I mean when was the last time the press paid this much attention to Arendelle.”
Elsa bit back a comment about errant sisters jet skiing in Florida, wardrobe malfunctions, and Anna’s crocus tattoo. “It just seems like there are so many more important things in the world to talk about.”
Anna put her hands on Elsa’s shoulders and rotated her so they were facing. Then she leaned in and put her forehead on her sister’s. It was a pose they had used in their childhood when “putting their heads together” had been a term they had taken too literally, and it was one they used now to signal to the other that what they were about to say was important.
“Yes, Elsa I know. There are a lot of important things to talk about in the world, mostly sad terrible things. But today ... this week ... these two weeks are about having fun and celebrating the good stuff, like how amazing athletes from a tiny country like ours can be awesome... and you know, how cool their pants are. So get in there and show the world that no matter how cold the country, and how cool the pants, the Queen of Arendelle is a warm-hearted hottie.”
Elsa was still mouthing “warm-hearted hottie?” back at her sister when she heard her cue.
“So to answer any further questions, I present to you Her Majesty, Queen Elsa of Arendelle.”
Aggie and Elsa traded positions as the applause swelled.
Elsa cleared her throat, waiting for her blush to subside. “So you like the pants?” she asked at last.
The assembled reporters answered all at the same time. “Oh yeah. Where did you get that idea? Do you really wear stuff like that in Arendelle.” The affirmations and questions flew at the queen like snowflakes in a blizzard. She raised her hand, and they all fell silent.
“Well, I’m really not the expert here. In fact I was as surprised by what our curling team was wearing as you were -- maybe even more so. The reporters chuckled as the queen flashed them a smile with a mock look of disbelief. “But I do think you should talk to the real brains behind the outfits -- and the only royal in Arendelle who would think of wearing something like those -- my sister, Princess Anna.”
Applause and laughter broke out again, but Elsa continued speaking over it. “And of course, the designer of those wonderful pants ....”
The queen gestured off to her right were a huge man in a traditional Arendelle sweater and hat stood up and waved, exclaiming, “Woooo, hoooo! Awesome fashions for an awesome team, am I right?”
The Norwegian Curling Team Should Win Gold For Their Pants
with apologies to Oaken -- one pair of “the pants.”
What do you do?
When one of your students uses a George Custer quote in a design, and they don’t seem to believe you when you tell them he’s not a good guy to be quoting.
They are not from the US, and I’m pretty sure they have no idea who he is. But dude, listen to the prof.