@dracones continued from here
He had only had the briefest of seconds to prepare himself for whatever Locke would throw at him. Only a few seconds to attempt to throw up the usual shield. Scorn, hatred, contempt, he had long since grown used to such emotions levelled at him, ever since he first dragged himself across the threshold of what would become his home, thoughts screaming with the pain and rejection that he had just faced. Zhaohui knew that he needed to harden his heart against whatever Locke was feeling towards him-- contempt, or even outright hatred for his actions.
Stupid him, he had grown far too used to the other man’s sweet gestures, grown too soft so quickly when shown even a scrap of kindness. For the first time in years, millennia, Locke had looked at him as if-- as if he were someone who was whole. Not the broken, fragmented mess that he truly was, or the dragon who had brought shame and dishonor to his kind. He hadn’t been “the ill omen” during those nights under the stars, only...Zhaohui. He really was an idiot to have let himself grown comfortable with that.
The moment red eyes catch the blur of movement towards him, he steeled himself. He may not be able to guard his heart in time, but whatever physical blow Locke decided to give him...well, he would accept it. Physical pain at least, he was old friends with.
But no real pain came. Instead, the same gentle, familiar touch brushed through his hair, and coupled with the grip that clutched at him, the dragon’s thoughts slowly began to grind to a halt.
A--a hug? Locke was...hugging him? But why? But there was no denying the firm presence against him, the heat that radiated outwards or the scent of ash that had always followed the other dragon wherever he went. Except now, Locke was shaking. Or maybe that was him, he could no longer tell anymore.
The words the other spoke brushed across his ears, somehow miraculously penetrating the trance-like stupor that the man had seem to fallen into. Each word spoken so plainly and openly, just like Locke, was its own jab to his heart and harkening back to that first moment. Locke, wrapped in his cloak and waiting who knew how long for him, looking up upon his arrival with the light of the sunrise cresting over them, and so simply asking him ‘why didn’t he come that night’. So earnest. So genuine. So good.
Why was he touching him so gently? Why didn’t he hate him?
Silence stretched from the man throughout the entirety of Locke’s words though honestly, he wasn’t certain he would be able to form any words in response even if he had attempted so. Yet, it was those final words, that final declaration, that finally pulled a reaction from the dragon-- the smallest intakes of breath-- as the world seemed to still around him. For a moment, he was certain that he must have heard him incorrectly, he must have. Because there was no way that someone like him could possibly-- with him--.
“L-Locke,” finally Zhaohui managed to croak out the single word, a stunned gaze, pupils slit, meeting his. Panic flared, those sweet touches, the gentle brush across his hand, the endearment that stole his breath away, he was too good for him. Too good too good too good too good--
This time it was his hands that moved to clasp the other’s as an insisting light shone in the man’s wide-eyed gaze. “L-Listen to me. Sometimes, what we think we may want does not necessarily mean that it is what is best for us. Or...” his hold tightened, “sometimes we go into something thinking that it may be one thing, but really it isn’t. Or it comes with,” he choked a little on the word, “unexpected caveats.”
It was all very simple, it was the basic commandment that had guided his life-- other people were good, he was not. Maybe once he could have been, but whoever that person had been had died in agony under a weathered roof crying out fruitlessly for his gods. He knew his place in the world, and he knew that where Locke resided was far from it.
“If you thought one thing of me, but then it turned out that another was true--” He would have to watch that kindness dim. If Locke were to one day look upon him with the same eyes that everyone else had, if he had allowed himself to be surrounded with that warmth only to find himself in the cold yet again-- Zhaohui’s voice continued in a devastated whisper, “I would not be able to bear it.”