#( rcar. )

[loveruined]

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6. A drunken kiss

      she hadn’t planned on having a release party for This Is the Only Gift I Can Give You, but it feels like the right thing to do. everybody had expected one, after all, and far be it from jane to not do what people expect. she hates every moment of it; listening to stories of what a good guy dylan was when she knows the truth about him feels like having to live through their marriage all over again. every time she has to say something nice about him, her tongue tastes like she’s curled it around metal, which means she has to have another drink to rid herself of the iron in her mouth. her mind is fuzzy and overwhelmed. she has to get out.

     she slips a hand into the crook of dean’s elbow at the bar and says nothing. the way that her eyes shimmer with tears should be enough, and it is; when she heads out to the patio to get some air, he’s there with her. it’s still impossible to find a single word to say that would even begin to describe how this night feels. silent, she wipes her face and finishes off her drink before turning her attention to him.

     “i can’t do this,” she says finally, and then she stumbles in closer, tucking her face away into dean’s chest so that she can pretend the rest of the world isn’t happening. it already feels better, natural; him, close and familiar. her heart swells. it was always going to be this way. a love like theirs burned so brightly that even now, when it’s meant to be over, each of them still glows. he gives off little beams in the same way that squinting at the sunlight does, and she can’t bear to look away from them. these are the arms that held her through everything. here are the hands that put her back together when she thought the pieces were lost for good. and those are the lips that said i love you, i love you--

     before she knows why she’s doing it, jane is on her toes, kissing him. through the delicate veil of her eyelids she sees a bright light flash, then another, and another. a voice she doesn’t recognise shouts jay! over here! and something in her clicks. they’re outside. they’re in public.

      even through the haze the alcohol gives her, jane knows she’s fucked up. “wait-- d, fuck, i’m sorry.” she recoils, but knows the damage is already done. how is this going to look? how is she going to explain that at a party in her husband’s memory, she’s outside alone with an ex-boyfriend? she can already sense the wyndchester forever! sweeping through the internet, can already imagine what everybody is going to think of her. guilt sinks into the pit of her stomach and awakes a nausea she didn’t even notice was there. she’s had far too much to drink. throwing one last look to the assholes with the cameras, she takes a step back. “think-- god, i think i’m gonna fucking hurl.”

[stayedgentle]

The end of #Wyndchester?

Following some cryptic tweets posted on Saturday, fans of Dean Winchester (The Four Horsemen) and singer/actress Jay Wyndham were left wondering where the couple stood, but early this morning it was confirmed that they have separated.

An anonymous source close to the couple says that the breakup itself took place at the Oregon home of Jane’s ex-husband Dylan Massett (Valente), where Jane is currently visiting their children. According to reports Dean left Warped Tour early following an altercation in a Williamsburg bar with actor Steve Rogers, and our source tells us that his first destination was Oregon to break things off. “It was ugly,” says our source. “He was aggressive from the start and it was clear that he wanted the break up more than she did... Jane handled it well but she was very obviously heartbroken, especially when he confessed to sleeping with somebody else”. Dean’s fidelity is questioned frequently but most memorably in the case of his brief whirlwind with the late Eliza Kardel.

       This report is completely different to what Jane and Dean themselves have said. 

The couple, who have been photographed looking cozy together since Dean’s gig last Halloween, announced their own version of their split via Twitter. Jane stated that it “wasn’t messy” and Dean said that it was “mutual”, before telling off his fans for their response to the news. “You are not justified in sending her hate...  She's still a human”, he tweeted, proving the touching description Jane gave of the nature of their on-again, off-again relationship: “We will always care about each other”. 

Which version of the story do you believe? Tweet using #WyndchesterSplit to let us know what you think!

[stayedgentle]

This interview took place a week ago in Jane Wyndham’s apartment in Oregon. Physically exhausted yet somehow still full of energy, she made coffee for the Vogue team, dressed casually in a gray American Apparel t-shirt dress and black tennis shoes. “There’s no point in dressing up,” the mother-of-two explained, “When one of the boys is just going to spill something on me anyway.” The ‘boys’ are Max and Ryan, her 13 month old twins from her marriage with Dylan Massett (Valente), who live here in Oregon with their grandmother after the events of last year.  Jane herself currently lives in Las Vegas with her boyfriend Dean Winchester (The Four Horsemen), and uses this as a place to “crash” while she is visiting her sons.

The Starring Role EP reveals a Jane Wyndham in transition, evolving as an artist. Lyrically, there is a new wisdom and an edge. Did this EP feel like a risk to you? Not really. I’ve always just written about what felt right at the time. This EP might have seemed like a risk, but it’s just the way my feelings and my situation had changed. It’s definitely more honest than the others, I think. This is the first time I’ve ever opened up about everything. So that was a risk. Starring Role turned out to kind of be a half hour of me just me baring my soul. I was terrified that everyone would hate me for it, actually. I thought they’d hear how desperate I really was and they’d think I was insane, but it turned out to be something that a lot of people could relate to, which is nice.

So we all know it’s about Dean Winchester, but tell us: What’s changed since you wrote these songs? Oh, god. We grew up. We got used to each other. I think when I wrote this stuff – you know, the first song – I was expecting way too much. That’s basically what the whole EP is about. Me expecting too much of him. But I think I had to get all that frustration out before we could get to the point that we’re at now, so... What’s changed is that I’m more realistic, and we’re better together for it.

Would you say that you’re doing better now than in your other relationships? You and Dylan Massett, for example? Listen, I’m not going to sit here and say anything bad about Dylan just because things ended between us. We just weren’t compatible in the long term. He’s a talented guy, and we’ve got two beautiful boys, but some things just don’t work out. That’s it.

Is it harder for you as an artist to open up in your songwriting today now that the world seems obsessed with every detail of your personal life?
 Kind of. I mean, people are going to read whatever they want into your music, no matter what you actually say. And I think that the fact that people know all those details is why my music isn’t interpreted the way it should be sometimes. Sometimes people think they already know everything, so they don’t actually listen.

How do you take the bold step of evolving as an artist, while continuing to honor fans that have been with you from the beginning? It’s hard. I mean, you’ve got to think about it. Fans that have followed me since the beginning know me for my work with The Skrulls, and that’s a completely different feel from the music I want to make for myself. It’s difficult, because I used to just play the guitar [in The Skrulls] and obviously there’s a lack of that on the Starring Role EP. 7/4/13 was different because it was pretty acoustic so I had the opportunity to show people that I’m still me, but I think I want to move away from that kind of vibe. I was working on something with Dean just the other day that’s pretty much all violins.

Would you agree that Dean Winchester has a big say in your music? Is most of your art collaborative? I know who he is, we don’t have to keep using his full name! And not really. He’s amazingly helpful when we do work together, but I wouldn’t say he has a ‘big say’. He takes my ideas and he helps me work into them, but they’re still completely my own creations. He’s just very good at helping me transcribe exactly what’s in my head into real music, and he’s a perfectionist like me, so everything turns out exactly as I imagine it when it’s the two of us.

Which of your songs have been things you’ve worked on together? Nothing that’s been released yet. I was making music for years before I started dating Dean, so everything is the product of my own work. The only reason we come together on things now is because we’re always around each other, so he’s there when I have ideas. 

Would you say that he inspires you? Of course he does. Ask anybody if their boyfriend inspires them, they’re going to say yes... Dean is a really impressive guy. 

Jane and Dean can be found on various dates of the Warped Tour, listed here.

[bluejcyarchive]

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A thought about them that they’d never share: I don’t think there’s anything much that she wouldn’t share with him besides the fact that she spends 10000000000% of her time worried about him (but he probably already knows that)First impression of them: well idk because the first time she ever heard his music she was like ‘oh yeah this guy seems cool’ and then she met him and she just kinda. breathed heavily and shook for a minute or two. so i guess her first impression was awe???? Favorite thing about them: this might sound weird but probably how nervous he gets around paparazzi?? because it’s cute and then he holds her hand and she likes being needed tbhLeast favorite thing about them: he’s always sad and putting himself down and also won’t love her backHopes for their future relationship: THAT HE’LL LOVE HER BACK