#* author's notes.

[vampyour]

sb: hey matty u want a beer

matty, thinking of the time he had to crawl out of his own coffin and would have suffocated multiple times had he not been a vampire at that point: i would literally rather eat dirt but thanks

[vampyour]

matthew has one (1) bad quality and it is that he likes clown stuff. not actual real live clowns, but like. clown dolls. clown paintings. anything clown-themed. he thinks it’s terrible and he loves it

[vampyour]

matty has a group chat w/ babs and danny and some other people idk but you KNOW that boy is ALWAYS the one sending cute animal videos... his most recently used emojis are nothing but HEARTS and CRYING FACES

[vampyour]

who lives in the house of 1000 corpses?

the house of 1000 corpses is a dilapidated victorian townhouse that matty bought for cheap (pre-housing crisis) because it was in such bad condition. he spent the next couple of decades slowly but surely fixing it up. the home is open to neighborhood strays and urban crtitters, as well as, of course, any well-meaning cryptids who may need a place to crash on their way up or down the west coast. frequent guests include:

matthew monroe, homeowner, vampire

barbara ellis, werewolf

danny carlisle, psychic

marnie ellis, ghost

bunny, spooky witch

colette & henri coupe, ghouls

lilith, ???

dahlia daisy darling, mermaid

[vampyour]

wrong blog bc i can’t remember the login for @dykeanthrope but the only way i will ever accept barbara ellis being introduced in a live-action or animated medium is with slow-mo shots of her subaru, canadian tuxedo, and shitty diy haircut while “hungry like the wolf” by duran duran blasts at full volume

[vampyour]

matty never goes "full vamp". you know-- with the gargoyle face and the huge teeth and stuff. that's a hunting reflex in vampires, and ya boy has never hunted anything except change in the couch cushions to tip the pizza delivery guy.

[vampyour]

newest addition to the west coast cryptid club: big scary ancient vampire who used to be a museum caretaker until he was entombed in the museum’s basement during the san francisco fire and then in present day a little kid accidentally found him while she was playing hooky from summer camp and now they are best friends and he plays d&d with that kid, her friends, and two camp counselors who are very stressed about this whole situation

[vampyour]

❛ THE BODY IS JUST A SHELL TO THE SOUL : AESTHETICS.

tagged by: @rnelodramas​ tagged me on a different blog and i am Stealin It tagging: steal it from the stealer

BODY.

long legs. short legs. average legs. slender thighs. thick thighs. muscular thighs. skinny arms. soft arms. muscular arms. toned stomach. flat stomach. flabby stomach. soft stomach. six pack. beer belly. lean frame. slender frame. muscular frame. voluptuous frame. petite frame. lanky frame. short nails. long nails. manicured nails. dirty nails. flat butt. toned ass. bubble butt. thick butt. small waist. thick waist. narrow hips. average hips. wide hips. big feet. average feet. small feet. soft feet. slender feet. calloused feet. calloused hands. soft hands. big hands. average hands. small hands. long fingers. short fingers. average fingers. broad shoulders. narrow shoulders. underweight. average weight. overweight.

HEIGHT.

shorter than 140 cm. 141 cm to 150 cm. 151 cm to 160 cm. 161 cm to 170 cm. 171 cm to 180cm. 181 cm to 190 cm. 191 CM TO 2M. Taller than 2 m.

SKIN.

pale. fair. rosy. olive. dark. tanned. blotchy. smooth. acne. dry. greasy. freckled. scarred.

EYES.

small. large. average. grey. brown. black. blue. red. green. gold amber. hazel. violet. white. doe-eyed. almond. close-set. wide-set. squinty. monolid. heavy eyelids. upturned. downturned.

HAIR.

thin. thick. fine. normal. greasy. dry. soft. shiny. scruffy. frizzy. curly. wild. unruly. straight. smooth. wavy. floppy. cropped. pixie-cut. short. shoulder length. back length. waist length. floor length. buzz cut. bald. jaw length. vermilion. mohawk. white. platinum blonde. golden blonde. dirty blonde. ombre. light brown. mouse brown. chestnut brown. golden brown. chocolate brown. dark brown. jet black. ginger. auburn. dyed red. dyed any “unnatural color”. streaked. thin eyebrows. average eyebrows. thick eyebrows.

TATTOOS / PIERCINGS.

full sleeve. thigh tattoo. shin tattoo. wrist tattoo. lower back tattoo. hand / finger tattoo. foot tattoo. neck tattoo. face tattoo. chest tattoo. one tattoo. a few here and there. multiple. no tattoos. monroe piercing. nose piercing. septum. nipple piercing(s). genital piercing(s). industrial piercings. earlobe piercing. eyebrow piercing(s). tongue piercing. lip piercing(s). tragus piercing. angel bites. labret. stretches out ears. navel piercing. inverse navel piercing. cheek piercing(s). smiley. nape piercing(s). no piercings.

COSMETICS.

light eyeliner. heavy eyeliner. cat eyes. mascara. fake eyelashes. matte lipstick. regular lipstick. lip gloss. red lips. pink lips. dark lips. bronzer. highlighter. eyeshadow. neutral eyeshadow. smoky eyes. colorful eyeshadow. blush. lipliner. light contouring. heavy contouring. powder. matte foundation. shiny foundation. concealer. wears make up regularly. wears makeup from time to time. rarely wears makeup. never wears makeup.

SCENT.

floral. fruity. perfumes. aftershave. cocoa. moisturizer. natural soap/shampoo. cigarettes. leather. sweat. food. incense. marijuana. cologne. whiskey. wine. fried food. blood. fire. metal. rain. grass. ocean. autumn leaves. baked bread. freshly baked cookies. smoke. campfire. lavender. trees. pumpkin pie. musk. rose. gingerbread. peppermint. oak. honey. lemon. vanilla. coffee cake. mint. rawhide. chemicals. essential oils.

CLOTHES.

jeans. tight pants. overknee socks. tights. leggings. yoga pants. pencil skirt. tight skirt. loose skirt. tight / formfitting dress. cardigans. blouse. button up shirt. band t-shirt. sports t-shirt. sweatpants. tanktop. cut off t-shirt. designer. high street. online stores. thrift. lingerie. long skirt. miniskirt. maxidress. sun dress. tie. tuxedo. cocktail dress. highslit dress /skirt. t-shirt. loose clothing. tight clothing. jean shorts. sweater. sweater vest. khaki pants. suit. hoodie. harem pants. basketball shorts. boxers. briefs. boxer-briefs. thong. hot pants. hipster panties. bra. sports bra. crop top. corset. ballerina skirt. leotard. polka dot. stripes. glitter. silk. lace. leather. cotton. velvet. chemise. patterns. florals. neon colors. pastels. plaid. black. dark colors. fur. faux fur.

SHOES.

sneakers. slip-ons. flats. slippers. sandals. high heels. kitten heels. heeled boots. ankle boots. combat boots. boots. cowboy boots. knee-high. platforms. stripper heels. bare feet. loafers.