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Hiii! :) where is the happy fluffy union j world you promised? I'm here and I'm ready for cute dramafreeness. Though feel free to get through the drama if that is what is taking over your asks...I will go eat chocolate or do something else equally unproductive.

Here you go! I wrote this back before they had even announced any of their singles (they’ve now had 2.5 singles and an album + a UK/Ireland tour) but it’s a good starting place…

THIS IS UNION J. THEY ARE HERE TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.

Union J FactsUnion J were formed after the Boot Camp phase of X Factor 2012 (series 9) out of Josh Cuthbert, Jaymi Hensley, JJ Hamblett, and George Shelley. All of them had advanced to the boot camp’s final day and were cut — like One Direction — but unlike 1D, Josh/Jaymi/JJ were already a band called Triple J. They were the last act of the competition to be cut from boot camp after a sing-off with another 3-piece teen boy band called GMD3, who changed their name to District3 and were on the X Factor with Union J (but that comes later). Anyway, so George auditioned as a solo act and then IN bootcamp, he was put into a mixed group with two girls, Charlie Cammish and Megan O’Neill, but after a second solo audition and a group song, George was let go, and then the Triple J versus GMD3 sing-off happened and they were let go, too. And here things get slightly murky, because basically Triple J have had a kajillion very litigious managers and also SyCo loves spin, but here’s the clearest version of what probably happened?While at the auditions and bootcamp, Triple J’s manager, Blair Dreelan, saw George and thought he had a great look/sound, and he offered to sign George as a solo act, and George said yes. So George was signed with Blair. MEANWHILE, Jaymi was really impressed with George and apparently photoshopped a picture of Triple J and George together, just to see what it looked like, and he went to Blair and was like, “Can we find this kid?” and Blair was like, “Yes, I signed this kid. Hmmm.” But nothing really happened yet.THEN, the act that beat Union J to Judges’ Houses, Rough Copy, had a problem with their visas that was totally unrelated to the fact that Louis Walsh would completely not have been able to mentor 4/6 of the acts that were sent to Vegas for him but WOULD have been good for Union J, and they had to drop out. So Caroline Flack claims that it was HER idea to invite Triple J back and to put George in the group. There are like, seven people claiming that putting George into Triple J was their idea, but I choose to believe Caroline mainly for shipping reasons but also because she’s the only one without a financial stake in saying so. HOWEVER, that story may totally just be a lie because really, the producers just wanted George in general, and they wanted him to be put into another group, MK1, but MK1 didn’t want him because he doesn’t really fit their style of music, so the producers said that George could choose between coming to Vegas to be in GMD3 or to be in Triple J, and he says he picked Triple J because they were more talented, but it makes more logical sense to say that he “picked” them because they were signed to the same manager and also are more talented.SO.SyCo called Blair and invited Triple J to come back with the condition that George was in the group, and they all said yes, so George joined the group and they rehearsed and hung out for three days and on the fourth day, they flew off to Las Vegas for Judges’ Houses, which the fact that the producers were so desperate to have George on the show kind of ensured that they would be a lock for the Final 12, but they were really nervous about it anyway and were cuties. They sang “Forever Young” and “Call Me Maybe.” Also, apparently, in Las Vegas, another group (who were cut) called Poisonous Twin, who were fucking awful, were being super mean to George the whole time and saying that he was only brought back to add drama to the show and that he’d get cut from Triple J again and Jaymi still hates them. (♥)Union J went off to London and they started rehearsals and such for the live shows. It was around this time that the auditions actually aired, and George was immediately super popular with fangirls everywhere and his twitter exploded (but Triple J’s did not) but when he did a twitcam, he mentioned Triple J were “cool” and he had “big love” for them, because he’s a cheeky shit and is also terrible at keeping secrets, which is how everyone knew that he made it onto the actual live show, because he kept tweeting that he’d be on the show “next week” because they KEPT NOT SHOWING HIM AFTER HIS AUDITION AND IT WAS REALLY FRUSTRATING.Then, it was announced that George was in Triple J and they were being called Union J and George changed his name to Jorge for two days. It was the darkest timeline.Then the show started! And it was great! And beautiful! And cute ALL THE TIME IN ALL THE WAYS except for Christopher Maloney, who was endearing at his first audition and then like, never again. You should definitely watch the actual full episodes for the whole series, if you are reading this primer post. It was a really good season. Also, hours before the first show, they gave Josh a complete hair makeover and he turned into a BABE. It was great. It remains great.Except. For the first week’s show, Union J sang “Don’t Stop Me Now,” and it was terrible. It was really, really bad, and I’m not sure why, but it was just awful, but the fandom was great at that point and “Vote Union J” was immediately trending and they were not in the bottom two! They got fourth place that week, and moved on to week two. Carolynne Poole was out, and it was a huge scandal because Rylan Clark stayed in, but Rylan, everyone would come to learn, is amazing.Union J really stepped it up for week two, though, and wore completely “Gotta Be You” music video outfits — introducing their trademark “Union Jackets” — and sang an AWESOME mashup of “Bleeding Love” and “Broken Strings.” Shortly before the second live show — like, hours before — George had his hair and eyebrows dyed and straightened and parted in the middle like Jack Dawson, and it was the second-darkest timeline. Fortunately, they fixed it completely by the time the show aired. And they were awesome! They sang really well, and everyone was impressed, and they were not in the bottom two. But it was sad because Melanie Masson was voted out and she was fantastic and sweet and would gossip to the press all the time about George/Ella Henderson.Also, they showed Union J meeting 1D, but the camera angle was terrible and you can’t even see who’s hugging who, but there is a very suggestive gif of George giving Harry the Eyes.Week three, they improved again, but I feel like it was sort of a middling performance? Like, it’s just not their most memorable, and they dressed very ’90s boy bandy. They sang “When Love Takes Over,” and it sounded totally great, it’s just not my favorite so I have less to say about it. They were not in the bottom two. MK1 left, though, which meant that the focus of the show would basically become 100% about fanning the flames of a “boy band rivalry” between Union J and District Three. It was the third-darkest timeline, and the most persistently annoying. It remains annoying and dark to this day.So week four, things went downhill, which was sad, because in my opinion, this was actually their best performance. But kind of starting this week, they pretty obviously alternated which boy band got to have a good song and good choreography, and even though Union J were great, District 3 got better comments and Union J was in the bottom two against Jade Ellis. Three out of four judges voted to keep Union J, and they also won the popular vote. Before the sad voting this week, it was cute because George loves Halloween! Rylan had a birthday-slash-Halloween party, and the boys all went in matching costumes as bloody “zombie” doctors. Also there was a lot of cute Gella. And the first ever appearances of Gosh! Good things! It was also the last time Lucy Spraggan was seen in conjunction with the X Factor until the finale, because she dropped out got sick and had to leave the show at the last second, which is part of why the entire night of the fourth live show was screwy. :(Week five, they reinvented themselves again! George got to play his guitar onstage! They sang “Love Story” and it became sort of their secondary signature song, after “Call Me Maybe.” They were fantastic and got great comments and were perfect and cute and were not in the bottom two. However, on Xtra Factor and in the VTs, they WAY overplayed the “boy band rivalry” and the tension in the voting pool moving into week six was really strained and gross and tainted and the gossip sites were all fanning the flames and it was ridiculous. Week six was a show over the weekend of Remembrance Day, and George has an older brother on active duty with the royal marine, so they dedicated their performance of “Fix You” to soldiers. It was good and moving, but the PR tactic about the boy band rivalry backfired and the bottom two was Union J VERSUS District3. Louis Walsh, since he mentored both groups, didn’t have to vote, so Nicole and Gary said they’d keep Union J, and Union J won the popular vote, so District3 left the show.WEEK SEVEN WAS THE BIGGEST TWIST I HAVE EVER SEEN ON TV, REALITY OR NOT. BECAUSE ELLA LEFT. I’ve barely talked about Ella in this rundown because it’s supposed to be about Union J, but her leaving was the one time I have ever yelled OH SHIT! at my TV.But before that TRAVESTY occurred, it was a cute week! The contestants all went to EuroDisney and Union J gave their first-ever not-for-X-Factor-judging performance. Also George got sick and is missing from most of the footage from that trip. There was excellent Jella and Jaymi/Rylan shipping moments, as well, and then I think they went to the Twilight premiere this week? It might have been the week before. …I’m writing this all from memory. Anyway. They were basically positive going into week seven that either they or Rylan would go, even though gambler’s odds were split between Rylan and Christopher, so Union J sang their signature song “Call Me Maybe” and George wore the tightest pants I have ever seen on a human man, INCLUDING Harry Styles and then on Xtra, they did a bonus acoustic performance of Stooshe’s “Black Heart,” which is phenomenal and might be my favorite Union J song/performance of all. Also Caroline is in love with George. This is skewing George-heavy; sorry. So does press coverage of the band.BUT THEN THAT NIGHT, DURING VOTING, JAYMI HENSLEY CHANGED THE ENTIRE FACE OF CONTEMPORARY POP MUSIC AND NOBODY GIVES HIM CREDIT FOR IT AND THEY REALLY SHOULD, BECAUSE HE BECAME THE FIRST EVER AND CURRENTLY ONLY OPENLY OUT GAY BOY BAND MEMBER TO COME/BE OUT WHILE HIS BAND IS ACTUALLY STILL MAKING MUSIC AND BEFORE EVEN BEING SIGNED. No other boy band has or has ever had a gay member be out during the actual course of the band. Lance Bass, Jonathan Knight, Mark Feehily, and Ricky Martin, all came out after their bands broke up or went on hiatus; Stephen Gately was forcibly outed during his time with Boyzone. If anyone else came out (publicly, not just in their private life) during the span of their boy band, I’m not aware of it. <— If you know of one, correct me, but the point stands that if nothing else, it’s so few and far between that it’s notable and remarkable and even more so that Jaymi came out of his own volition and not because he was forcibly outed by press.So Union J stayed in the competition, Jaymi came out of the closet (I’m sorry if that’s tasteless wordplay?) and Ella left the show, which was sad, and all of Union J cried a lot, and it was precious and endearing and sad forever. :(Week eight was the quarter-finals, so all of the acts sang two songs each. Union J sang “The Winner Takes It All” as their ABBA song and “I’ll Be There” as their Motown song, which was a little too downtempo (but the whole show was, IMO) and they ended up — predictably but unfortunately because WHY THE FUCK WAS CHRISTOPHER NEVER IN THE BOTTOM TWO; HE WAS UNLIKABLE AND TERRIBLE — in the bottom two against Rylan. They sang “Run” and it was lovely, and Rylan kept pointing to Union J when Tulisa was deciding who to keep and it was very cute and everyone loves Rylan. Also happened in week eight: GOSH. ALL OF THE GOSH. They noticed the attention they got for it a little the week before and MAN, THEY REALLY STARTED FANSERVICING FOR THE GOSH. And this was the week that George couldn’t even do their post-performance interview thing with Dermot because he was giggling too much and every time he tried to talk he just giggled and it was basically the cutest thing anyone has ever seen. True fact.After week eight and going into the semi-final for week nine, pretty much everyone knew that UJ were leaving, because James is pretty flawless, Jahmene got tons of praise and OH MY GOD THAT BOY DESERVES EVERYTHING HAPPY IN LIFE GOOD LORD, and Christopher sucks but is weirdly impervious to elimination and I will never get over being angry about that. ::Cough::So all UJ really did in the run-up to week nine was go to the season opening of Winter Wonderland and Jaymi wore a bear hat and George wore a leather jacket and rode around on Josh for a while. OH! AND IT WAS CAROLINE FLACK’S BIRTHDAY DINNER AND SHE INVITED UNION J AND GEORGE SAT NEXT TO HER. They had balloon hats. You should ship it. Also I think Union J were on Daybreak? And they went on The Big Toy Show in Ireland to try to drum up the Irish vote because there were no Irish contestants this year but their mentor is Irish and yeah.OH, AND THEY WERE IN HEAT (Magazine. Not. In heat.) and they did a ~sexy photoshoot~ and it was not as sexy as promised but it was still pretty cute. And then in the article George discussed his bullying and body issues in more depth than previously and it was really sad and terrible but Jaymi got to actually do an openly gay interview and talk about Olly and that part was cute. I assume Josh and JJ were also there, but I don’t remember their parts. :XUnion J also recorded their winner’s single sometime between week seven and week nine, which was slated to be a cover of Demi Lovato’s “Skyscraper,” and I’m really sad that we’ll probably never get to hear it. T__TAnd then like two nights before the live show, Union J went clubbing and George got suuuuper drunk and had some trouble getting in the van.

Josh was okay:

And then the semi-finals happened and Union J sang “I’m Already There” and “Beneath Your Beautiful” and they met Rod Stewart and sang some Christmas songs with them. :( And :( then :( they :( were :( voted :( out :( But the next day they did basically the seminal Union J interiew, with Holy Moly!, and were on Daybreak and This Morning and Rylan interviewed them and all manner of things happened and they were on the finals show anyway because all of the contestants came back except MK1 and they sang on scooters and were adorable, and then Christopher got third place and went into a raging snit and called Caroline the c-word and did not appear on the actual final-final show. But Union J were, and sang some Christmas songs with everyone else.

And that was the X Factor Era! Yayyyy!

OTHER REASONS TO WATCH THE X FACTOR SERIES 9: Nicole Scherzinger’s similes. It’s like a drunk Lemony Snicket.

TOMORROW, they are announcing the title of their first single! Pretty much since the X Factor, they have played a lot of shows in small and mid-size clubs around the UK and did the X Factor Tour with James, Jahmene, Christopher, Ella, and District 3; they petitioned to get Kye installed on the tour to replace Christopher but it didn’t happen. They’ve done a ton of magazine spreads for UK tween/teen magazines like TOTP, Bliss, and We ♥ Pop, including a pretty amazing Valentine’s Day centerfold interview where Jaymi got to wear his engagement ring and all of his questions had male pronouns and that was 100% definitely the first time that happened in a tween popstar magazine and it was incredible and great. Annnnnnd what else have they done since XF. Photoshoots, interviews, magazines, radio call-ins a few times, been on Daybreak twice, Josh got a cat and he’s FUCKING OBSESSED WITH IT, JJ and Jaymi/Olly moved in together and George moved in with Sonny Jay from The Loveable Rogues, ermmmmmmmmmmmmm. They went on Nick Grimshaw’s radio special for Comic Relief and Nick is vaguely obsessed with George and David Walliams called him pretty, but then Nick called George a girl, and George dumped like a thousand maggots on Nick’s head and I refuse to talk about it because it makes me gag and I’ll never be able to look at either of them again if I think about it. Also George did the cinnamon challenge and Nick praised his ability to swallow, and then Josh wore a sumo wrestler suit and a tutu for a weird stunt with Scott Mills. So that’s about it! You’re caught up until today, the day before they announce the title of their single, which comes out in June!

Yayyyyyy, Union J time!

P.S. This is their new logo, unveiled yesterday, which George designed:

Moments to Convert People to the Union J Fandom

Video List and Media and Stuff

Pre-X Factor

George Shelley

George Shelley/Only The Young: “We Are Young”

George Shelley: “Titanium”

George Shelley: “Jar of Hearts”

George Shelley interviewing his baby brother Archie (and sister Annabelle) about monsters under the bed

George Shelley giggles for 12 minutes at 50 Shades of Grey

George Shelley asks politely to covertly film his boss singing Barbie Girl

George’s horror short film, “The Dolly.”

George Shelley Twitcam after Auditions

Jaymi Hensley

Jaymi Hensley: Billie Jean

Jaymi Hensley: I Breathe Again

Jaymi Hensley @ Pride (2010)

Jaymi Hensley @ Pride (2012)

Jaymi Hensley’s old boy band, Brooklyn, singing “In My Head”

Jaymi Hensley’s old boy band, Brooklyn, singing “Forget You”

Jaymi Hensley’s old boy band Brooklyn auditions for X Factor s08

Jaymi Hensley’s old boy band Brooklyn does a photo shoot

Jaymi Hensley’s old boy band Brooklyn does stuff

JJ Hamblett

JJ Hamblett in Campus 202 (clipped to his scenes)

JJ Hamblett: Not actually him, but one of his fellow jockeys talking about him being on XF. She is not super nice about him as a rider.

Josh Cuthbert

Josh Cuthbert’s old boy band The Boulevard opening for Boyzone

Josh Cuthbert’s old boy band The Boulevard opening for Boyzone (a better video/audio and Josh solo)

Josh Cuthbert’s old boy band The Boulevard opening for Boyzone III

Josh Cuthbert’s old boy band The Boulevard opening for Boyzone IV

Josh Cuthbert’s old boy band The Boulevard singing “Down” in Belfast

Triple J & Rewind

Triple J: All Time Low

Triple J: As Long As You Love Me (Bieber)

Triple J: Best Thing I Never Had

Triple J: I’ll Make Love to You

Triple J: Just the Way You Are

Triple J: One Thing

Triple J: Torn

Triple J: What Makes You Beautiful

Triple J: Yeah 3x

Rewind: Best Thing I Never Had

X Factor & Xtra Factor: On the Show

Auditions

HOT HUNKS: Triple J, Adam Burridge, and George Shelley

Bootcamp

Triple J singing Moves Like Jagger

Triple J and GMD3’s sing-off: “Bless the Broken Road”

George singing “Earthquake” with Charlie Cammish and Megan O’Neill [no video :( ]

Judges House

Judges House: Call me Maybe

Judges House: Forever Young

Union J and Times Red Reveal

Judges House Interview w/ Dermot

BACKSTAGE: Call Me Maybe

BACKSTAGE: Forever Young

BACKSTAGE: Boyfriend

X Factor Live Shows

X Factor Finalists—Gangnam Style

Week 1: “Don’t Stop Me Now”

Finalists Singing “Read About It”

Louis’ Finalists

Xtra Factor Week 1

George vs. Dan Fighting Talk

Biggest Villain

The Beauty Treatment

Inside the X Factor Hair Salon

Week 2 VT

Week 2: “Bleeding Love/Broken Strings”

Finalists Singing “Somebody That I Used To Know”

Contestants Celebrity Crushes Revealed & First Kiss Talk

Union J meet One Direction

Union J vs. District 3: boyband quiz

George Shelley and Ella Henderson

Xtra Factor October 7

Xtra Factor: Behind the Scenes, Week 2

Week 2 X Factor Salon

Week 3 VT

Week 3 “When Love Takes Over”

Finalists Singing “Ain’t Nobody”

Xtra Factor October 21

Union J get compared to One Direction

Week 4 VT

Week 4 “Sweet Dreams”

Week 4: “Perfect”

Finalists Singing “Without You”

X Factor contestants: Fright Night Fears

Halloween Night Behind the Scenes

Week 4: The result

Week 4 X Factor Salon- Halloween

Week 5 VT

Week 5: “Love Story”

Finalists Singing “Good Time”

Ella Henderson’s Girly Sleepover with X Factor boys

George vs. Ella Fighting Talk

Contestants worst habits

Battle of the Boybands

Behind the scenes week 5

Union Jackets Advert

Week 5 X Factor Salon

Week 6 VT

Week 6: “Fix You”

Week 6: “Set Fire to the Rain”

Finalists Singing “Beautiful Day”

Week 6: The result

Josh vs. Greg Fighting talk

Check out the Finalists in their spare time

Week 6 X Factor Salon

Week 7 VT

Week 7: “Call Me Maybe”

Finalists singing “Young”

Union J acoustic performance

JJ versus James Arthur Fighting Talk

X factor contestants at Disneyland Paris

Union J on a roller coaster at Disneyland Paris

George getting his hair done

Union J’s Guilty Pleasures

Week 8: “The Winner Takes It All”

Week 8: “I’ll Be There”

Week 8: “Run”

Finalists singing “Viva La Vida”

Union J Childhood Secrets

Week 8 VT 1+2

Union J moments from week 8 results show

George and JJ singing Mama Mia

Week 8: Result

Week 8 X Factor Salon

Union J Makeup Challenge

Week 9 VT

Week 9: “I’m Already There”

Week 9: “Beneath Your Beautiful”

Finalists and Rod Stewart singing “Merry Xmas Baby”

Xtra Factor Week 9

Union J on Xtra Factor Week 9

Union J and Inspiring Bands

Xtra Factor Exit Interview

Week 9: Result

Week 9 X Factor Salon

Union J’s Best Bits

Week 9: Love Story

Final 12 Sing 2012 Medley at XF Finals

Union J, Rylan, Ella, Melanie, Carolynne, Jade, Jahmene, James, District 3, and Kye sing Christmas Medley @ Finals

Union J’s Best Bits II

Interviews & Appearances

One Direction: Harry/Louis talk about George

October 5 - Daybreak Interview

October 5 - Interview on This Morning

November 23 - Daybreak Interview

November 26 - Talk Talk interview

November 30 - Sugarscape Interview

November 30 - Late Late Toy Show

December 3 - Sugarscape Interview

December 3 - This Morning Interview

December 3 - Lorraine Show

December 17 - Daybreak Interview - “Sexy Snowman” & Announcement of SONY Deal

January 14, 2013 - Daybreak

January 28, 2013 - Real Radio Scotland - George Discussion of First Single Title

Cosmo Awards Interview

George and Jaymi Talk Talk Interview

George Shelley (and Nick Grimshaw and Little Mix) cinnamon challenge - Red Nose Day

Heat Photoshoot

Interview at Prince’s Trust Comedy Gala

Jaymi Hensley: Coming out Documentary

Jessie J has dared Union J to eat some horrible food for Red Nose Day

JJ, Josh, and George Talk Talk interview

JJ and Josh Talk Talk Interview

Josh - Crossbar Challenge

Josh on Mills On Wheels - Red Nose Day

NOW Magazine Photoshoot

Pips Interviews Union J - Backstage with TalkTalk

Radio 1 Interview

Talk Talk interview with George Shelley

Twilight Premiere Interview

Twilight Premiere - Yahoo Interview

Union J talking about fame - Talk Talk interview

Union J Yahoo Interview

Union J at the Ultimate Women of the Year Awards

Union J at the Skyfall Premiere

Union J Answers Twitter Questions

Union J at the Cosmo awards

Union J defend Louis Walsh

Union J - Josh sends so much love

Union J - JJ sends love

Union J - Jaymis X factor love

Union J interview - thisismax.net

Union J at Winter Wonderland

Union J exit Interview

Union J on Holy Moly!

Union J chat 1D and kissing under the mistletoe!

Union J Entertainmentwise Interview

Union J on OMG! Jedward’s Dream Factory

Union J have a rummage in the HEAT Stocking…

UNION J: website welcome

Union J Valentines Day Message

The X Factor Live Tour sponsored by TalkTalk

Union J eat pickled eggs for Red Nose Day

Union J are dared to eat worms - Red Nose Day

Union J eat jellied eels - Red Nose Day

Union J prepare to eat their final dare - Red Nose Day

Twitcams, Ustreams, Vine, etc.

First video diary

The Final 12 Video Diary

JJ, George, and Jaymi video diary

Union J video diary

3rd video diary

Union J First Twitcam part 1, 2, 3

October 30 Twitcam part 1, 2

November 5 Twitcam part 1, 2

November 16 Twitcam

November 23 Twitcam

December 2 Twitcam

January 30 George/Josh Twitcam

“Keep an eye open for the crazy things we do”

“Union J at Brighton Center”

“Union J Wee in a Bottle”

“JCats follow us on Vine!!”

“I’m Everywhere!”

George’s Pizza

George taught XF dancers (Danielle Peazer!) to do a monkey face

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