Jul 31, 2014
( text ) : this is what my life has come to. drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
[text:LittleBlondie]: Put the champagne down and step away from the dog
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( text ) : this is what my life has come to. drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
[text:LittleBlondie]: Put the champagne down and step away from the dog
( text ) : i’m sorry about all the inappropriate shoe throwing.
[text:GlindatheGoodWitch]: You hit me in the face[text:GlindatheGoodWitch]: With a heel[text:GilndatheGoodWitch]: Then yelled THIS IS SPARTA
( text ) : i know you’re on a date and i should leave you alone, but about twenty minutes ago, i realized i haven’t been spanked in years so if you’re still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
[text:HotInaSuit]: This girl just spend an hour telling me about her parakeet[text:HotInaSuit]: I'm on my fourth margarita to deal with this[text:HotInaSuit]: I'll be over in an hour, I may be a little drunk
( text ) : you just jumped of the couch and yelled “hidden tiger crouching dragon!” that’s the answer to how you broke your finger.
[text:mommawolf]: That doesn't explain why I woke up with a bag of peas in my bed though.
( text ) : uh, do you have my pants because i have yours
[text: HotHunter]: You are not too hungover to come get your pants.[text: HotHunter]: And I hope your not too hungover to get inbetween my sheets.[text:HotHunter]: Subtly is not my thing.
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[text:LittleGilbert]: I found condoms in our bathroom. I can't tell if you think too highly of yourself or if your a girls wet dream.[text:LittleGilbert]: I also may be a liiiiiiiiiitle drunk right now[text:LittleGilbert]: Also, there is no more rum in the house now[text:LittleGilbert]: WHY IS THE RUM GONE. I am the female jack sparrow, that's why.
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[text:MattyBoy LittleGilbert]: Er'thing is ready for Jer's surprise party. Just bring the pizza, I got the booze[text:LittleGilbert]: Shit. Shit. Still act surprised, kay?
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[text:AprilShowers]: Uh, Avril, Woah, I typed Avril. Like that shitty singer. April. Do you really bring May Flowers and who the fuck is May?