#spiderman

[evilmara]

*sweating profusely*

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

I love that Jimmy Olsen is exactly the type of photographer Peter Parker pretends to be. Just bat-shit insane.

Whenever someone asks Peter how he took a picture he's like "Oh! I uh-, climmed a flagpole. Totally"

And very mortal, normal-human Jimmy is like "See, Clark, is not that weird"

I mean, look at this nutjob.

The world could be ending, lava on the streets and Jimmy would be out there photographing away. No powers, no sense of self preservation. Just khakis, a camera and a dream.

I like to imagine Peter meeting Jimmy and immediately being mortified about it.

Jimmy: –and so luckily I was able to take the picture before the building collapsed on me... Superman was super pissed at me but, photographer to photographer, it was totally worth it.

Peter: Right, no– See, this is actually my first time hearing how fucking insane that sounds. No wonder people at work look at me weird.

[bnushtird]

Original post by @/Min_tramcam on X/Twitter

[ivvyela]

nothing on this god's green earth can convince me that peter parker doesn't have an ao3 account where he is elbows deep in a 'rise of skywalker' fix-it fic. like, fully invested in it, been writing it pre-spider bite with ned, who is just as enthusiastic about it. but the thing is, it's really hard to do updates when you are literally spider-man.

every three months he'll post and in the author's note there's some shit like "sorry this took a while, i got shot seven times :/" or "i know it's been a minute, i literally got hit by a bus and then stabbed in the leg, but i'm all good!" or sometimes ned would log in and post with a note "hey i'm a friend posting on the author's behalf, they're healing from severe hypothermia but promised an update, so here it is!"

and the fic just gets increasingly more popular for the author notes alone. a good handful of the comments are something along the lines of "i'm not even in the star wars fandom, i'm just here to see if the author is good" or "every update i cheer for another day the author gets to live at this point"

and any reader who is a native new yorker kind of pieces together that holy shit the author might be spider-man because the timeline adds up, and they just fully embrace it. spider-man will stop a robbery and the guy behind the counter will ask when the next chapter will be up. spider-man returns a stolen backpack to a girl and she'll tell him that he "really got poe's voice down so well, it's really impressive."

ned thinks it is hilarious. mj finds out about the fic from twitter, to peter's absolute horror, and changes peter's contact name to "friendly neighborhood ao3 author". but the worst thing to happen is after an avengers battle where peter took a pretty big hit and ends up in med-bay. and during a press conference, when someone asks how spider-man is healing, tony just drops "spidey won't be down for too long. the star wars fic will be updated within the week, probably."

ao3 goes down for two days.

[pillsatoru]

satoru gojo who finds out that his cum doubled in amount when he became spider man. not only that, but the thickness and flavor changed as well. what he enjoys the most is how you’ve been eating it up.

“please.. please cum in me.” you begged your boyfriend as he pounded into your weeping cunt. you had no clue how or why his cum changed so much. maybe he has been taking some sort of pill? you didn’t bother asking anyways.

“yeah? want me to put a baby in ya?” satoru chuckled. he knew that the type of spider that bit him is capable of giving birth to hundreds of babies at once, and he got off on the idea of you gifting him many children.

satoru let out a sharp groan the second you squeezed his cock, making it almost impossible for him to pull out.

his grip on your neck tightened as he pushed your face deeper into the drool stained pillow. “guess i got my answer huh?”

he snapped his hips forward, fucking you deeply. ever since the ‘bite of 2026 as he liked to call it, his stamina went off the chart, making it possible for him to endure fights, and of course for sex marathons.

your fingers gripped the sheets, back arching as you felt yourself grow near. with a final thrust, satoru released into you.

“fuck..” he gently pulled out, mesmerized at the way the extra liquid spilled out like a goddamn waterfall. his finger teased at your hole, collecting his own juices. “felt good, baby?”

you nodded, feeling absolutely worn out. his cum was too much, but you weren’t complaining.

[smoky-moka]

help him...

(credit to @kingpreussen for the Spidey dialogue 💥)

[the-big-mood]