arthur/jack ‘playing house’ au!
I’m officially posting my AU here!! Titled thusly because if I just call it a house AU you’d never be able to find it.
First off, this all rests on the premise of Jack being a Downer, and if not a Downer yet, then simply being held against his will. If you don’t believe in that theory yet, consider the twitter takeover where Jack says some super suspicious things... And I’m not going to get too hard into the proof for the basics of Downer Jack because that would take forever, so have this arthur/jack evidence.
Anyway, the AU starts with Jack being post-Margaret tape, waiting for a chance to escape. And he’s held somewhere with the Top Dogs, so he also has access to all the tapes and recordings of what’s going on around Wellington Wells, and he sees this fine long-legged man ditch the Department of Archives, Etc. and thinks... well, what a fine long-legged man.
Now, people don’t tend to go Downer from the inside (government jobs) for fairly obvious reasons, and this happens fairly close to Pru’s downerage, so the Higher Ups are in a bit of a frenzy, and long story short Jack manages to wriggle out of a half-open window and work his way to Arthur backwards. The logic here is that Jack wants Arthur for the same reasons the Higher Ups do-- to figure out what drives an insider to leave. Except Jack relates a little more, I suppose.
Jack, like Arthur, makes it to Hamlyn village (possibly spotted by locals at night, who call him Foggy Jack...?), and once he arrives he immediately knocks some people out and takes over their house.
So Arthur is having his, you know, morning constitutional, and Jack just kind of... cartoon-style grabs him and yanks him into the house. He’s also wondering how on Earth somebody so obviously depressed made it through any of Wellington Wells, because it might look normal to be as long-faced as Arthur in the Garden District, but... well. Jack thinks it might be helpful to take Arthur under his wing.
Arthur, for his part, is mute for the first five minutes he’s inside the house. Insert that Squidward Oh No He’s Hot meme here, except I always headcanon Arthur as having had a long-unrequited crush on Jack, so... you know. Arthur is gay and anxious.
Jack explains most of his situation to Arthur, Arthur (regaining some speaking power) explains his situation to Jack-- mostly that he was on his way to Faraday, and he’s doing just fine in Hamlyn village! And wait a minute aren’t you Uncle Jack?
Jack still can’t figure out for the life of him how Arthur made it this far. He’s also very anti-Joy now, given the... you know, ‘locked up and forced to take drugs and promote them’ thing. This is reasonable, but less so to Arthur, who... you know, wants to survive out here! To survive sometimes you have to take a little Joy.
Jack: “Rule number one of Jack House is that you do not take Joy.”
Arthur: “What’s Jack House?”
Jack: “That’s here.”
Arthur: “Oh, alright.”
(If Beyonce told you to do something, you would do it, wouldn’t you? So Arthur is going along for now.)
Arthur has also been running some quick maths internally about the number of beds in this house. There’s only so many bedrooms, right? Perhaps he can finagle his way into bed-sharing. Wouldn’t that be nice.
Jack gives Arthur a nice tour, and Arthur does some quick thinking:
Arthur: “Do you think this window is jammed?”
Jack: “No, but if you look--”
Arthur: “I think it’s jammed.”
Jack: “Well, alright, but this is--”
Arthur: "It’'s definitely jammed. The window is jammed and it will be cold at night."
Jack: “I opened that window an hour ago. Now, if you--”
Arthur, bravely plowing ahead: “Don’t worry, Jack. I have a plan.”
(He is so hyped for his plan he is already tossing out honorifics left and right.)
So Jack asks Arthur about his plan, and Arthur gives this long spiel that essentially boils down to moving all the blankets to one bed and sleeping in that one, and it’ll definitely be warm because of all the conserved heat. And Jack thinks, well, maybe he’s bad at seducing me, but he might be seducing me! So he pretends to be very impressed, and Arthur is very excited at how clever he is.
Arthur, whispering: “Confirmed bachelor no longer...”
And... you know, they move in together. And they’re very obviously dating. Arthur was a bit worried that Jack wouldn’t like him because he’s such a melancholy lad, but fortunately Jack is a bit broken up himself.
Jack: "I have nightmares at least weekly and the list of things that set me off is the length of my arm."
Arthur: ...
Jack: [dabs]
I think jack probably has a dark sense of humor....Arthur enjoys it, kind of, but it also makes him feel very ashamed of himself to laugh. And of course Jack makes these odd suicidal jokes at the drop of a hat.
Jack, burning a potato: "All right! Time to die, Arthur. This is it. This is how I go. Forget me and move on with your life."
Arthur: "A-are you alright?”
Jack, flinging the potato into the garbage with his spatula: “No.”
Sometimes Arthur will come back from the village and find Jack just sort of... lying on the floor... and he’ll ask what he’s doing, and Jack will say lying on the floor, obviously, what does it look like he’s doing, and Arthur will say it looks like he’s being upset, and Jack will say well that too, of course, and Arthur will go make soup.
Jack also finds out very quickly that breaking into houses and looting them tends to upset Arthur... he’s not very pro-murder, as it happens. Jack has his Greater Good philosophy, obviously, but if it upsets Arthur then he’s happy to be the breadwinner... and murder people for their belongings.
Unfortunately, if he comes home with the slightest scratch, the rest of the day may as well be called off immediately, because Arthur will make Squawking Bird Noises at him until he lies down and lets Arthur tend to him.
Jack: “Can I get up now?”
Arthur: “It’s been ten minutes!”
Jack: “Exactly. What could you possibly be doing with all this time.”
Arthur, memorizing the length of Jack’s nose: “...helping you get better...”
Arthur also only knows how to cook because Jack knows how to cook, and Jack teaches him-- he’s very excited to learn, especially because he can mildly grope Jack while pretending to reach for something across the counter. A very eager student! He’s definitely the type to flip pancakes into his own face from sheer enthusiasm.
Arthur also definitely knows how to sew, because... well, in-game mechanics, so I was thinking he would be the house wardrobe mender. A friend suggested Jack collecting ugly patterned socks (argyle being his favorites) and I love the thought of Arthur just... sitting... darning socks... waiting for Jack to return from murdering people to get at their food...
And that’s pretty much it! Jack and Arthur in a house in Hamlyn, hiding from bobbies and slowly growing more and more domestic. Neither of them really realize it, but they’ve lost that passion for escaping... they’re growing more comfortable with just staying right here.