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k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes

only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life

#Rocky: how do humans hunt?#Grace: oh haha we follow them until they get so exhausted they have to sleep. hey why are u backing up #project hail mary #phm #ryland grace #rocky the eridian #7-inches-of-satanic-panic #greatest hits

tomorrow i have to give my daughter’s pikachu plushie gender-affirming surgery

#she literally had tears in her eyes while she explained that her pikachu had a boy tail shape #i was like hey she can still be a girl. all we know from her body shape is what her body is shaped like #maybe if we asked her she would say that she feels like she’s really a girl #and my kid was like BUT POKEMON CANT TALK 😭😭😭😭#so i was like ‘ok. pikachu. if you want to use he/him say ‘pika’. if you want to use she/her say ‘chu’. and if you want smth #else say ‘pikachu’’#and my daughter had her say ‘chu’ and i was like see there you go #now. she doesn’t HAVE to change her tail shape. she can totally be a girl with a rectangle tail #but if she would feel more comfortable with heart shape bc she prefers it or so that people won’t assume she’s a boy #i can make that happen #so pikachu what do you think? do you want tail surgery?#and pikachu agreed enthusiastically #so. plushie gender-affirming surgery first thing tomorrow i guess #silver.chat

I know this is a deeply American thing to say but I am begging everyone to stay the fuck away from military recruiters. Especially high school kids. You are going to be seeing an unholy amount of them in schools or around schools or literally anywhere kids are known to congregate. THIS INCLUDES ALL FORMS OF ROTC. Stay the fuck away from military recruiters. As someone who’s familiar with entirely too many branches through entirely too many friends and family, including my partner, recruiters are authorized to say literally any fucking thing they think will make you sign on that line. They cannot and will not deliver on those promises. They need bodies for the war they’re pretending is only now starting up again. That’s all you are. A body. Stay the FUCK away from the military.

#us politics #do I think any of you would do that? no. do I know several people who got talked so dizzy they signed papers without really realizing #what they were even signing? yes #stay. the fuck. away. do not engage. just don’t fucking talk to them at all.#they’ll tell you it’s for the college #and the steady benefits #they go for the poor for a reason #but hey as someone who’s partner signed up for the national guard in a panic #bc we were dirt poor and pregnant and hadn’t graduated from college yet #it is no longer a safe option even as a weekender #do not. do nooot.#we’ve see natl guard can be deployed against our own people when they’re meant to be helpers #just. stay the fuck away from the murder machine

personalized ads are so funny to me

'hey we've been spying on you and tracking your every move. it's a culmination of state of the art technology and an unprecedented invasion of consumer privacy. a room full of men with made up jobs bent their will toward decades of constructing this system, defending it in court, and tirelessly innovating new ways to aggregate more data about you'

and the end result is

'yeah so uh we saw that you recently bought a car. so here's an ad for that car'

like no i'm good actually. you might be aware that i already have one

#without fail whenever i buy something i will get ads for that exact thing afterwards. hey dumbasses! that's the LAST thing #i would spend money on right now. a second watch? you KNOW i already have that watch einstein