#010497

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Why wasn't I born with beautiful eyes

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Xtra cute

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My selfies only come out nice when I’m in my boyfriends car.

also, holding your hand up to your chin helps with awkward hand placement =)

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A really great day

So.. I guess I hung out with Parker Cannon on Tuesday at an A’s game.

I saw him and was like “shit.. That’s Parker.” And my boyfriend was like “let’s go say hi!” And I really wanted to but at the same time I didn’t want to because I felt really bad bothering him. I didn’t want to be an annoying fan.

Errrrr so we go up to him and my boyfriend taps his shoulder and says “parker, right?” And he’s all like “yeah, hi!” And he shakes each of our hands and asks for our names. And we asked for a picture.. He says sure and to hop on down to the seats next to him and we took a picture.

Anyway, my boyfriend tells him that I’m a really big fan and we, or more like my boyfriend and him, talk about how the tour was and about himself and it was really interesting.. I felt bad for staying there because I thought maybe he didn’t want us to stay there next to him the whole time, because I felt like we sort of intruded. But he didn’t get up and leave or tell us to leave.. So maybe he was actually okay with it.

anyway, I was very quiet because I’m a huge fan of his music and I was too shy and nervous to even say anything. I mean I’ve seen this man perform on stage 5 times and there I was sitting RIGHT next to him. But yet I’m too afraid to say a word in fear of coming off as annoying. So I stay quiet the whole time. I felt so incredibly terrible though because I felt as though we were bothering him, and just didn’t want to be annoying. That’s the last thing I want to do, be annoying… But as we were talking he also asked us questions about ourselves and he treated us as normal people.

Even though I was quiet the whole time, it was just nice to sit and listen. Parker is a really nice, funny, and humble guy, I didn’t expect him to be so nice to us especially because he’s famous, well in my eyes anyway. He even introduced us to his best friend! I think it’s so crazy though because it could’ve been anyone else in the world but it was my boyfriend and I who had the honor of meeting him and having a nice conversation with him. It was a really fun time.

The A’s lost that day.

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2/8/15

Wow. I feel so terrible for putting my boyfriend through so much of my shit. My depression. I feel so incredibly terrible, because I know you can't do that to a person. A person can only handle so much of somebody with depression. I never thought of that.. I never realised how my depression is affecting people around me, especially the ones I love the most. And the one I spend a lot of time with is my boyfriend. He was always so strong.. But now that I've realised that (I feel) I have somewhat driven him into exhaustion, I feel like I should... Hide away the depression. I don't want to put him through that, I don't want to show him that side of me anymore because it only seems to fuck shit up. I don't want him to think of leaving me because of my depression.. I think if he left because of my depression, I'd be broken. I think I'd fall apart. So I'm going to try to prevent it by not letting that happen.. By hiding it better. 😔

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12.16.17

I think it's getting worse, today I didn't get out of bed. I knew I had to, for school. But I felt so exhausted and I really thought I'd get up. So I ask my dad if I could sleep in until 9 and go to school around that time. He says yes. I go lay down and fall asleep and I sort of wake up at 9:45. Dad came into my room and says to just stay home because I'm late anyway. Then he asked what was wrong. All I said was that I was really tired. I am exhausted. I'm really happy he let me stay home. When I got up at 11:45 I felt so weak and warm and tired. I don't even know what's wrong, all I know is that it's getting harder to wake up and get out of bed. I feel like I have no energy at all. I wake up at 7:10 when I should be getting up at 6, but I don't get up because I'm so exhausted. It takes so much effort to get up now. But why??

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I'm so damn happy

I'm literally crying right now, my boyfriend bought us VIP tickets to see Pierce The Veil on their world tour. I first listened to Chemical Kids and Mechanical Brides in 7th grade, and didn't listen to them much after that. But then, I quickly became a huge fan of this band after giving them a second listen in sophomore year of high school. And my boyfriend bought the tickets to see meet and see them as an early birthday gift. I am so grateful, I'm crying so much it's disgusting. I'm going to meet one of the the bands that helped me through tough times. This means so much to me.

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In the girls bathroom.