#1.25 am

[quattrosaltinpaella]

c'ho in bocca il sapore del fallimento

[sortilegio]

Firenze

Questa è la città

Dove mi hai sfiorato il braccio

Questa è la città

Dove sono stata più tua che mai

Questa è la città

Dove ti ho capita

Questa è la città

Dove ti ho fatta ridere

Questa è la città

Dove mi sono imbarazzata

Questa è la città

Dove abbiamo camminato insieme

Questa è la città

Dove mi hai conosciuta

Questa è la città

Dove mi sono accorta di te

Questa è la città

Dove mi piaceva averti intorno

Questa è la città

Dove bruciavo di gelosia

Questa è la città

Dove ti ho cercata

Questa è la città

Che ha il tuo colore

Questa è la città

Che sa di te.

[antisomnia]

Do you know how much it hurts to be so insignificant?

I don't want to fade out. I don't want to be forgotten. He's already forgotten about me. I'm nothing but an insignificant speck of dust merely obscuring his view. He didn't choose me. I'm nothing compared to my friends. I'm not smart like them. I'm not pretty like them. I'm not as nice or as good-natured compared to them. I'm a piece of dirt, a mere imperfection among them. I don't know how to make my parents proud. I don't know how to make them proud of me. I don't know what to do or what to say. I just want them to be proud of me. I want them to have a reason to be proud of me. I hate the constant fear of being insignificant. I don't want to be this person I am now. I want to be someone that my friends and my parents can be proud of. I want to be that person who makes people's heads turn. I want to be important to someone. I can't just fade out like this. Yet, I'm so insignificant that no one knows how I feel. Everyday is a constant struggle for me. I smile as if it's nothing, but each day, I'm finding it harder and harder to find a reason to smile. At the end of each day, I just want to curl up and cry. Cry as if the tears are my frustrations, but I can't. At the end of each day, I just continue to lock up these feelings of frustration, of anger, of sadness. Does a person really have to be sad to feel sadness? I'm sad, but I'm too scared to tell anyone because I'm worried they'll just brush it off as a desperate cry for attention. What should I do now? Should I just continue to bottle my feelings up? I guess I have gone through years without telling anyone how I feel. It wouldn't make much of a difference now. A year. That's all I have left. One more year. When I finish, I will have completely vanished, like a cloud of smoke. For once though, in the remaining year, I want someone to tell me they're proud of me. I want someone to tell me that I don't have to be anyone else because I'm perfect just the way I am. I want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. I want someone to smile at me and tell me that it's okay to cry, that it's okay to feel human. I want someone to tell me that I'm alright. I don't want to be insignificant.