#1.4.25

[edo-vivendum]

I'm just sad, and I want to be held by someone that loves me. This situation doesn't even matter. There's no reason for me to be upset. But I am. And I'm alone.

[edo-vivendum]

Somehow whenever I get upset it's always in a moment when S is also dealing with emotions and can't drop everything to comfort me.

But him not comforting me when I'm upset triggers these childhood feelings of emotional abandonment. I feel so achingly alone and unloved. I know it's not real and that he loves me dearly, but it's so hard to get through these moments on my own. It hurts.

It's sort of a complicated situation to explain. We both sort of ended up rejecting each other. Or feeling rejected. My response was to start crying. And then when he didn't immediately comfort me I got triggered. He eventually offered me a hug, but at that point I was so overwhelmed it didn't do much—and he was falling asleep from his nighttime medication so he couldn't offer more.

Now he's been asleep about an hour. I did some journeling. I sent him a long message to wake up to. I can't seem to stop crying. I just want to be held and comforted. Nobody was ever there to hold me when I was overwhelmed as a child and now it's all I want but I still can't have it.

I sat with my dog, but he gets overwhelmed by crying so he ran away.

I hate feeling alone. I wish S could always be available for me when I'm overwhelmed. Unfortunately the only things that get me overwhelmed these days are relationship situations where he's too busy dealing with his side of the scenario to fix me. Its definitely a good thing that I'm not getting triggered by other stuff anymore, but it hurts that the only times where I really need support he's not available.

I'm going to try to go to sleep now.

[purenumbers]

1/4/25

1 + 4 = √25

Also:

1 + √4 + 2 = 5

[allmoddedapk]

Eternium Mod 1.4.25 Apk [Unlimited Money/Rubies]

New Post has been published on https://www.allmoddedapk.com/eternium-mod-apk/

Eternium Mod 1.4.25 Apk [Unlimited Money/Rubies]

Eternium 1.4.25 Mod Apk – Mage And Minions – The Mage And Minions is a rendering Role Playing game with HD graphics and stunning HD scenes from Making Fun, Inc for Android, released for free, and up to this moment more than 500,000 Has drawn players from all over the world. In this game you take on the role of the main character of the game and a hero to the role of working and different enemies such as demons, skeletons and monsters one after another kill and collect achievements and skills unique to their power Multiply it by several times. If you are interested in RPG games and you like to experience one of the best games in this genre, in addition to being able to compete with other users offline now, do not miss the upcoming game.

Some features of Mage And Minions Role Playing Android:

A real , spectacular and fascinating fight against hordes of skeletons , robots , beasts , demons, aliens , dragons , etc. The possibility of opening new weapons or upgradingarmor and weapons by you and the player Availability of all kinds of treasures for failure suddenlyhordes of monsters and progress power Fighting and fighting enemies in a variety of fully realistic and diverse three-dimensional locations and environments Having HD graphics and stunning scenes with great exciting sound Optimized for all Android devices (phones and tablets) with large and small screens