#10.9.16

[bscferrets]

[believe-that-lunatic-fringe]

[believe-that-lunatic-fringe]

[theabearr]

I’ve lost count on how many times he keeps dragging me down. What bothers me the most is I’m the only one getting caught in the riptide, drowning and losing air - so close to dying and he's just sweeping me in like it’s no big deal. I just want to be free from his clutches, but in reality, it’s my own clutches tying myself to him.

[starfuckscafeoriginal]

I am now having very specific nightmares about classes. Yikes.

[captivatingcomposition]

One year since the start of everything. I remember rushing home, my palms sweaty and my heart racing. In a few hours I would see a beautiful girl, dressed up just for me. I had no idea I would fall in love with her. I had no idea that I would end up wanting to marry her. Everything before I saw her went wrong. My hair took forever to dry, my dress busted open because my boobs were too big for it, I didn't have nice shoes, I couldn't do my make up for the life of me but every little sense of anxiety all drifted away the second I saw her. Her cute pink dress, her beautiful smile, with red carnations in her hand. I still have most of them in my room. My face heating up and pulling her into a hug. My god if I could only describe that energy she puts off. I remember making fun of said shoes I was wearing. I was embarrassed, but god that smile drew my attention right back. I remember us driving around in circles for a while, we didn't know where to go to eat and we were an hour early for the dance. I couldn't stop looking at her. Every formation of every word and every smile and giggle and laugh. My god she was beautiful. We ended up going to port of subs, which was our first trip of many. We literally went there at least once a week. She got mad at me for not wanting anything. She ordered, and asked me where I wanted to sit. Which was another first of many. I'm sure we annoyed the fuck out of the workers and port of subs with all of our laughter. Afterwards, we went back to the school. We stood outside for a while, seeing how lovely everyone looked before they let us through the doors. I met a lot of her friends that night. Everyone treated me like I was a part of their group. We finally got in and it was adorable. The decorations were super cute. She was dominated for homecoming queen, so we voted. I clicked her name about 372873 times. Her and I took pictures, and god I was nervous. We held up the sign that Kay had made and smiled real big. She took pictures with more people, and we hung out and danced with her friends. She kept looking at me and giggling and fuck my heart melted. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted to just hold her and kiss her and make her the happiest fucking girl in the universe. We parted a few times to go say hi to people. I remember telling Johnnye and Carlos how much I liked her. Johnnye was the one who really set us up in the first place. I remember a few days before this, she nonchalantly asked me if I were asked to homecoming, I'd say yes. And I literally had to pin her up against a wall to tell me who it was. I guessed if it were devyn, because I fuck I hoped so and I knew she had something for me to, and Johnnye just said "don't tell her" lmao. And Carlos always sat with us during medical terminology. He already knew we liked eachother and loved to mess with me for it. A few freshmen I knew were crying, so I had to help them too. I remember her talking to Megan, which I knew she talked to her a lot about me. We got some food there throughout the night, drank a fuck ton of water because shit it was hot, and hung out. The homecoming royalty elections were coming up. All the nominees stood with eachother. I don't even remember who else was nominated, all my focus was on her. She didn't end up getting it, which was a bummer. I remember having the cheesiest thought, like "you may not be homecoming queen but you can be my princess" kill me I'm sorry. The royalty had their slow dance, and after they had the slow dance for everyone. She asked me if I would dance with her, and we walked out to the middle of the dance floor. We were nearing the end of the night. It was the last slow dance, and I knew I had a short time before the end of it. She asked me "Do you top or bottom?" And I roles my eyes and put my hands on her shoulders. She was beautiful. All about us by he is we was playing. We talked a lot through the song. Carlos came and danced with us for a second. Towards the end of the song we locked eyes. She smiled at me and asked what I was smiling at. I moved in, got on my tip toes, and kissed her. I think I still have butterflies flapping around from that moment. We carried on our conversation, and after the song we walked back to our friends, I grabbed Johnnye and Carlos and told them, fuck I was so happy I could barely catch my breath. I went with Devyn again. I remember sitting in the rainbow hall because Megan also had someone here that she really liked, and it was cool over there. Some songs we liked had played and we danced in the hall alone. Sang our hearts out. We planned to go to Denny's after. Another first of many. Port of subs and Dennys were two of our go to places. After the dance we went. She got this peach ice cream thing and it was delicious. And I got a chocolate milkshake. Megan also got a milkshake. We put her bobby pins on the cups and that flung them up in the air and we thought that was hilarious. Her hobby pins were always all over the place. I remember waiting like an hour for the check to come and asking for it like 3 times. We went to drop Megan off, then went to drop me off. I remember showing her poetry I liked. I don't know why I chose a really sad one, but oh well. We saw a shooting star. I drove right where we saw it last night. As we pulled up to my house, I kissed her again. A few times. I didn't want to leave. That night was the start of everything.

[purenumbers]

10/9/16

10 - 9 = 1^6

Also:

(1 + 0) * (√9)! = 1 * 6