❝I know you better than you know yourself.❞
personality starters / accepting @1013k
between a short intake of breath and a single heartbeat, rushing at moderate 75bpm in its owner’s comfortable resting state, he snaps – like gloves clinging to surgeon’s hands moments before performing a procedure, like guitar string pulled too violently during intense slap session, like rubber band hitting the wrist of a perpetually anxious and stressed person looking for an instant relief.
it happens suddenly, quickly, before anyone – even yoongi himself – has any time to react.
“good job, jiminie – this sounds like an excellently catchy piece of lyrics,” come out of his mouth, words that are being bitten off rather than flowing, jaw tight and two rows of not at all flawless teeth clicking when they meet each other in the middle in the milliseconds of pauses.
it’s not him. yoongi–he’s not unkind. a little sarcastic, definitely, way too much of a realist on the negative side of the spectrum, maybe, and all too often appearing disinterested, yes; but he’s not – this. not this weird thing that sometimes seeps through his skin and possesses his tongue, sitting there unnoticed until it’s much too late to do anything about it.
it takes barely ten seconds for him to look as if he’s hurt by his own mood, betraying him like that in the face of something as good – as kind and caring and always so, so warm – as jimin’s presence and attention.
“i’m sorry,” he says, and takes in half a breath to continue, only to drop it before the first syllable makes it through the tight set of his narrow lips. if jimin knows him better than yoongi knows himself, (which, admittedly, may be true to some extent–at twenty-six yoongi has lost himself so many times already that he suspects some of the scattered parts may never be found by his own eyes again), then he will know even without it being said – will recognize the unjust mechanism of his personality and the agony following the realization of its existence.
(and all the while, he doesn’t look jimin’s way, the momentary shame too blinding to fight it.)
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