#11:23pm

[ajyal-azez]

أحب اللّيل وسكونه.

[40-bee-07-daily-blog]

Ribs for dinner

[friends-outof-context]

“The hat man is here, and I owe him pussy”

[poetryboom]

i had good parents. i have good parents.

but i cannot imagine talking to someone--let alone a young person--the way i remember being spoken to.

nothing horrible, nothing terrible.

but every single version of 'you're too much'

too dramatic. too emotional. too sensitive. too bossy. too inflexible. too sensitive. too loud. too intense.

and it wasn't just them. it was the kids at school. it was my siblings. (it was never my teachers, because there were rules at school, and i was good at rules).

but it felt like everyone. everyone who mattered, everyone who knew me.

what a great way to feel.

[ajyal-azez]

[ajyal-azez]

هل يمكن أن يكون السكوت عن شيء أردناه بشدة وجعل الأمور تنساب من أصابعنا هو الحل، بعد أن أشقتنا بمرّ لياليها.

[female-keithsweat]

Pancakes sounds so good right now and I have all the ingredients I need to make them 😋

[the-daily-scrommit]

January 9, 2023

Jan 9, 2023 - Sixth entry

There's not much for me to write about today, and I think that's a good thing. I re-downloaded a dating app and matched with some interesting people. I don't have many expectations and I'm not really looking for anything. I wish I could say I'm looking for good company or genuine human interaction, but I'm not even sure if that's what I'm looking for right now.

I think it's for distraction. I know it isn't ideal or very healthy, but talking with so many people today has helped keep my mind off my ex-partner. When I did talk with them, it was generally light-hearted and pleasant. I don't feel to anxious that we haven't texted or talked much individually today, and that's good.

Today really wasn't much of anything other than that. I stayed in bed for too long, swiped on cute people, talked with my friends and that's essentially it. I'm glad today wasn't much. The anxiety wasn't bad, nor was the depression. I started doing something creative (I'm almost done crocheting a beanie!) and relaxed, which is so much more than the last few days have been for me.

Before going to bed I'll probably update some more of my friends on how I've been and do what I can to properly wind down. Today feels a lot like really moving on, and I'm happy about that.

Goodnight, take care; I am sending you love <3