Vagina Magic
With rain tapping on the window, I decided to be unapologetic.
I told you all the words I locked up safe inside a dark place
I told you about the thing that changed my faith, "vagina magic"
"Look mom", I said calmly. "It is not my fault I'm gay."
"A lesbian bit me and now after moon rise I just want girls."
As if being a 'were-gay' was more acceptable for girls, pray
Tell me about the time you came out as straight to a parent
After ten long years of playing mind games with closets of dreary
Tea hot, in your mug, to burnout the shame in your weary heart
"Look mom", I said calmly. "It's not my fault I'm gay."
"I talked to Jesus last night and apparently he likes dick
I know this is a surprise, I have laid it on a bit thick," say
"I love you as you are." is obviously much harder than supernatural
Beliefs because my sister says "You have a demonic spirit"
As if that is something as common place as a nice skirt catcall
And asking questions like "Will your hair make straight girls turn?"
I sit there trying to word my answer with accuracy and some fervor
I wonder if you realize the power of your words, will you ever learn?
I rationalize these queries are queerer than me because of this God
When my day ends, after all of this banter, I pray and curse aloud "Shit.
God please say Sorry little girl. I know about vagina magic. I invented it"
I pray he will answer, but he doesn't making me resent the years
I denied the magic of the vagina in pursuit of what is known and pure
But I was a pear in the peach bin wondering why I don't have 'pear's fur'
And then I get angry when I rationalize this problem is man made
As if I am being punished for something so trivial, like burnt buns
Baking accidents happen and I am done wasting my life over the suns fade
I remember all of it, especially at night, when I sit down to a cup of hot tea
Wondering about how on earth I will ever be able to rise above this whirl
as rain taps on the window, reminding me of how unapologetic this girl be
--JLBendel